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Trygon said:
Ah, thank you, Goat. Was a bit disconcerting, coupled with the PM from Black Rose saying that she was the reason they had been removed. But that seems well with me.

So I'm here until 9 PST. Who wants to know how bad rehab sucks?!
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*spies older posts*

WTF. No.

I have the same policy on Elliquiy regarding admin powers and extended absences. Just him me up on IM when you're back for goods.
 
Home again, home again...

I've decided to actually give this sobriety thing a fair shake. It's odd, to say the least, to have such a large component of my life Xed out in such a way, but I'd like to see if I can stand without crutches.

NOW WHERE'S MY ACP RARGHGARGH
 
Trygon said:
Home again, home again...

I've decided to actually give this sobriety thing a fair shake. It's odd, to say the least, to have such a large component of my life Xed out in such a way, but I'd like to see if I can stand without crutches.

NOW WHERE'S MY ACP RARGHGARGH
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Do something else with that component of your life?

ACP restored, or should be.
 
Agh.

Well, at least this sleepless night was constructive.

I remember when I used to do this shit every night. Nowadays, it's so emotionally draining... I used to feed off the control, and I was empowered by it. Now, I say the right words, instead of the easy lies. Problem is, the right words are the truth, and speaking it takes from you. Lies are vapid, empty, I could spew them for days and not feel it. And I did, once upon a time.

Once upon a time, I would have finished this night with two more notches. Today I just have worries. It would so easy to be what's expected of me, to stop sweating it, and forget you both the minute I got out of my chair.

fucking morals.

I preach about only taking on others when you've got all your bases covered a lot. It's not that easy, is it? Heh, my life is waist deep in the shitter and I'm parading around like I've got something to teach.

...In fairness, a month ago my life was neck deep in the shitter. It's not like I'm not making progress. Just need to be patient, I guess.

I suppose in a way I am being what's expected of me... Albeit only 75% instead of the 125% superbeing out of a dream I used to play. You're so vulnerable, and it makes you so easy to read. The predator in me is baffled that I didn't take such easy prey, and he's sulking over it. I chose the hard path, though, despite the many pretty rewards and fresh new pavement the easy path offered. All I have to show for it is red eyes, a headache, and self-respect.

Not that I couldn't respect my skill as a world-class manipulator. And if I'd opted for that path back then, I'd be truly terrifying now. I am anyway. When I choose to extend my will, the world curls before me. Imagine if I abused that.

I'd be unstoppable, methinks~
 
Well, I'm good and drunk, so it's TMI TIME!

While I was in rehab, I was diagnosed schizophrenic. This isn't news to me - I've been aware since I was 13. How does this apply to you, the BMR public? Like so -

Trygon is more then just a handle and an RP character. He's my darker half, and generally, when you're talking to me online, you're talking to him. I use the internet as a pressure valve to keep him from snapping and murdering people that annoy me in my day-to-day life. One of the reasons why I'm such a fucking bastard.

Nicholas is his opposite number. Whereas Trygon is violent, egotistical, and lustful, Nick is calm, quiet, and empathic. Nicholas is a Seraph, the highest order of God's angels, and he's the source of my religious tendencies.

Both of them are avalible to talk to directly upon request - They enjoy the freedom. I welcome questions, as it helps me clarify my own mind.
 
It's a brave showing for you to come out with such information, Try/Nick.

And at least you know what's wrong with you, whether you - or anyone else - sees it as wrong or not. I've still have some insight to look into.
 
Woah man, I just heard about your father (obviously, I'm here heh) and I wanted to leave my well wishes. I hope he gets better, since I know there's a good chance of that (and we aren't privy to the severity of it yet), and that he pulls through for the best.
 
1) Don't lie to me. Ever. About anything.
2) Don't ever justify your actions with what 'you're sure' I'm doing. In fact, just don't do anything that requires justification.
3) Do NOT, EVER be a hypocrite.

And we'll do just fine

Fucking women. Seriously. Even when your bullshit is completely predictable, you still go through the motions.
 
Apparently I need to make this a bit simpler for some people.

I'M A FUCKING LUNATIC.

Normal rules of conversation and social interaction do NOT apply!
 
I'll have to be blunt with saying that I think only the freshies don't know that.

But, people that aren't observant to find how people work aren't worth the time of day to study them.

Anyway, happy thanksgiving.
 
I actually find all of my interactions normal with Try and the like.


That's just me, though. xD
 
Raziel99 said:
I'll have to be blunt with saying that I think only the freshies don't know that.

But, people that aren't observant to find how people work aren't worth the time of day to study them.

Anyway, happy thanksgiving.
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The problem is, it was Bunny that spawned this post.

Alex said:
I actually find all of my interactions normal with Try and the like.


That's just me, though. xD
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'and the like' is operative there. You've been dealing with all of them so long that you're very used to it.
 
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