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"Lick My Boots" Master/slave, the passion and lifestyle

Sinerd

Banned
Banished
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
The Alternative Lifestyle And Fetish Of Master/Slave

When you hear about someone being owned it’s often a source of contention with the majority of society. This simple statement has caused countless hours of debate and discussion among many people. Much of that could be scaled down if misconceptions were cleared.

This thread is a discussion regarding the Master/slave subculture within BDSM. It discusses the real life version, not online role-play.

(A side note: Online role-play is also perfectly valid as an activity and hobby. There is no reason to be a M/s snob with the role players. Please treat them respectfully.)

The basic idea behind the topic is that M/s is strongly misunderstood and not a negative thing within our culture. It is not dangerous to society or the “moral fabric” of humanity (especially considering the subjective nature of morals).

Master/slave is perfectly valid as a sexual fetish, part time relationship dynamic and full time lifestyle for the following reasons:


F.A.Q. Frequently Asked Questions

What does this mean, being owned?

It means something incredibly deep and fulfilling for the owned individual. It means that they have given another human being the right to do with them as they choose. Those of us that submit serve our Masters. If they say jump, our only question is supposed to be "how high?"

Isn’t Slavery illegal?

This is not a legal relationship. This is the full simulation of ownership for the purpose of fulfilling urges of submission and dominance of both parties. While physically and legally the slave can leave at any time, mentally and emotionally the slaves consider themselves owned and unable to leave unless the Master terminates the contract. The contract is psychological, not legal or physical. The slaves are, ironically, the ones that enforce their own slavery, which is why this does not fit the classical definitions of slavery.

To add to this, I will bring up two organizations, one national and one international.

<!-- m --><a class="postlink" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.masterslaveconference.org/">http://www.masterslaveconference.org/</a><!-- m -->
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.southplainsleatherfest.com/index.php">http://www.southplainsleatherfest.com/index.php</a><!-- m -->

The Master/slave Conference resides in Washington DC, USA. It has contests, (legal, consensual) auctions, and workshops. This is the largest M/s gathering in the Northeast region of the United States. And despite it having auctions and workshops, aspects that would seem questionable without further research into the topic, and it residing in Washington DC, it has not been shut down.

The South Plains Leatherfest is an international contest for M/s couples. Couples from around the world come to this contest in order to either participate or simply watch, and those that win that year's contest participate in panels in other gatherings to speak to the M/s community.


So what's the difference between this and the concept of consent with subjects like pedophilia or abuse?

The lifestyle of Master/slave works on the concept of informed, legal consent.

Informed consent is consent given with full knowledge of what the activity is to pertain of and with full acceptance of that knowledge. An example of informed consent is a contract written and signed by all parties involved. If at least one of the people involved in the activity does not know the full detail of how that activity will take place, the risks involved, and what it means for each individual in question, it is not informed consent.

Legal consent is based on your area's laws regarding consent. This includes things like the age of consent and past rulings regarding the ability to give consent while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. If the laws in your area does not permit the practice of BDSM activities due to reasons listed above or any others not mentioned, it is not legal consent.


Doesn’t a psychological inability to leave mean you’re trapped anyways?

Actually no. The very way the contract works conceptually allows ways for the slave to leave if the slave wishes to leave. It’s just not psychologically viewed that way by the slaves. The majority of slaves feel that when a Master abuses them or breaks their trust (any form of betrayal) that Master has now implied that the contract was broken. It doesn’t matter if the Master actually wants the slave to leave or to break the contract. These actions are considered implication of a broken contract by the slave’s mindset. And of course, once the contract is broken? The slave is entirely free from the Master, as all the Master’s authority is null and void from that point.

How many people actually do this?

The subculture is a lot bigger then you think. In fact, there is a relatively large subculture of people who practice BDSM and a fair number who are in the "Ownership subculture." This isn’t even accounting for lines of BDSM like behavior in normally vanilla (mundane) relationships and people who only participate in BDSM and M/s on a part time basis (as opposed to lifestylers).

What kinds of slaves are there?

Different Masters and Owners may use their slaves/servants/property in different manners. There are sex slaves, human animals, cash slaves, slaves to "Daddy Doms" and service slaves, among others. These are not mutually exclusive--that is to say that a person can be more than one type at a time. Many people are combinations or defy categorization at all. These are listed here to give some examples of services.

A sex slave is a slave most often used for sex. In fact, their only function in their Owner/Master's life may be allowing their Owner/Master to derive sexual pleasure.

A human animal is someone who is asked to perform or, in some cases, live in the role of a specific animal. Cats, dogs and ponies are very common.

Cash slaves are relatively rare and usually their main or only purpose to their Owner/Master is to provide cash. Their bank accounts can be stripped of all value at any time, without warning by their Owner/Master.

Slaves to Daddy Doms are usually treated like children or petulant teenagers. Slightly spoiled, slightly indulged, but still under the care and guidance of a "Daddy" who makes the rules and sets the curfews. (There is an equivalent for Mommy doms most likely.)

Service slaves serve usually by accomplishing tasks and following orders to serve the whims of their Master/Owner.


Aren’t slaves all downtrodden doormats?

Not true. Many owners actually welcome individuality, strong will, and sometimes even rebelliousness in their slaves. Slaves have opinions and are rarely kept from expressing them. Some slaves are not permitted to express their opinions, but they are still not doormats.

Why?

As a general rule, slaves are proud of their service to their Masters/Owners. Being a doormat implies a lack of consent and a presence of shame at their actions. This is not something that is present in M/s relationships.


Do all Masters/Owners beat their slaves every day?

No. Not all Masters/Owners enjoy beating people. Some prefer to keep them enslaved by punishing disobedience with time in the corner or writing lines. Some even use simply the fact that they are disappointed as punishment. In the cases where beating is regular, it’s often because the participants in the M/s relationship are also into Sadism/Masochism. The beatings in those cases are wholly independent from being owned.

Doesn't this count as abuse?

BDSM activities are ALWAYS Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Abuse is NEVER safe, NEVER sane, and NEVER consensual.

BDSM follows established rules. Abuse has no rules.

BDSM is negotiated for the safety of both partners. Abuse is NEVER negotiated.

BDSM activities are used for mutual pleasure. Abuse is used to terrorize, frighten and control.

In BDSM, safewords can be used to stop any activity. If someone is being abused they cannot stop what is happening to them.

BDSM activities are about pleasure and being connected. Abuse is about power and control.

KNOW THE DIFFERENCE ---END DOMESTIC VIOLENCE


National Leather Association:International

NLA-I Domestic Violence Project Website: <!-- m --><a class="postlink" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.nlaidvproject.us/">http://www.nlaidvproject.us/</a><!-- m -->

This also applies to the RACK standard which may be adopted either in conjunction with SSC or even in replacement of it. That’s a debate for another time though.


Wouldn't this sort of relationship be unhealthy for the people involved, or for any children present?

As mentioned previously, submissives are actually in greater danger when unowned because they are predisposed to following dominant like requests from people that either don’t value their well being or don’t realize that the sub is following them.

Doesn't this compromise the idea of individual freedom?

Most slaves see this as exercising their individual freedoms. After all, are we truly free if we don’t have the freedom to give up our freedom? Yes it seems paradoxical but it’s a valid question.

If you’re denied the freedom to do what someone else tells you to do then are you truly free? I assert not. A brilliant example of this is related to the feminism movement


So does this mean you're role-playing?

Role-playing is distinctly different from the actual M/s lifestyle. Role-playing is more surface-involved. It means you’ve taken on a role and doesn’t necessarily mean you yourself reflect that role inside. M/s is an honest and open expression of real urges inside and the person’s true personality. Your own personality cannot be a role. It is not played. It is you.

M/s relationships are a simulation of true slavery to gain fulfillment of internal urges and existing personality traits. Role-playing is taking on a role. The difference is distinct.



Can't they just get married?

Pure marriage is a bonding of people whose roles are typically egalitarian. M/s is a bonding of people who, while they can be equals, do not take similar roles in the relationship. Many M/s couples do get married for the socio-economic and legal benefits of marriage, but they typically identify as M/s first and husband and wife second.

Why can't minors participate?

In some places, BDSM and M/s are illegal entirely. In others, they are merely frowned upon. In places where it is frowned upon, some of the best charges to round people up on is "corruption of a minor," "child molestation" and "statutory rape." For this reason, the age of consent for BDSM and M/s is often higher than the age of consent for a "typical" relationship. It is often very hard to find a listing of ages of consent for such a relationship, but a good rule of thumb to use is 18 years old or the age majority, whichever is greater. We're providing you with this list, which should help you to figure it out.

If in doubt? Don't do it.

The other reason for keeping minors out of it is protection of young people. Many people like to exploit young people. Exploitation under the guise of BDSM or M/s gives the subculture a bad name and it gets young people hurt.

As stated in the first post of this thread, the age of majority that we enforce here is 18. While there are a few countries where that age is lower, 18 is the minimal age accepted in the BDSM community, and restrict their participation as such. More than likely they will also tell you to look into your local laws to see if the age of consent for BDSM activities is 21 because of their extreme nature and level of risk.


Further Reading

Books of interest:

Erotic Slavehood: A Miss Abernathy Omnibus by Christina Abernathy

The Ethical Slut: Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities by Dossie Easton

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton

When Someone You Love Is Kinky by Dossie Easton

Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex by Gloria G Brame

Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by Gloria G Brame

Slavecraft: Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude by Guy Baldwin

Becoming a Slave: The Theory and Practice of Voluntary Servitude by Jack Rinella

Philosophy in the Dungeon: The Magic of Sex & Spirit by Jack Rinella

The Compleat Slave: Creating and Living an Erotic Dominant/Submissive Lifestyle by Jack Rinella

The Master's Manual: Handbook of Erotic Dominance by Jack Rinella

Erotic Bondage Handbook by Jay Wiseman

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

The Loving Dominant by John Warren

Flogging by Joseph Bean

The Mistress Manual: A Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance (Erotic) by Lorelei

Endless Knot: A Spiritual Odyssey Through Sado-Masochism by Mathew Styranka

The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori

Wild Side Sex: the Book of Kink: Educational, Sensual and Entertaining Essays by Midori

The Control Book by Peter Masters

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Philip Miller

Master/Slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert J. Rubel

Protocols: Handbook for the Female Slave by Robert J. Rubel

The Toybag Guide to Hot Wax & Temperature Play (Toybag Guide) by Spectrum

Two Knotty Boys Showing You The Ropes: A Step-by-Step, Illustrated Guide for Tying Sensual and Decorative Rope Bondage by Two Knotty Boys



Websites:

Abuse and BDSM - A list of essays about abuse and how it pertains to BDSM by a variety of authors. Includes essays on healing and moving on from abuse within a BDSM relationship, as well as child abuse.

BDSM and the Law - A basic article on the legal matters of practicing BDSM.
Edit: This link appears to be down. I do not know if it will be back up in the future, but in the meanwhile I have found another essay on legal matters concerning BDSM. - error
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.bearpair.com/slavemike/law.htm">http://www.bearpair.com/slavemike/law.htm</a><!-- m -->

CollarednCuffed Beginners Guide to BDSM - A basic guide to BDSM, including an A-Z list of terms and an e-mail Q@A.

Introduction To Breath Control Essays - A list of essays about the dangers of breath control by Jay Wiseman.

Japanese Rope Art - Includes a variety of essays and tutorials written by Tatu about the spirit behind rope bondage and how to practice it safely.

Ownership and M/s book list - A book list compiled by The Slave Register, including some on protocol. Some of these listings may be repeats from our own book list.

Ownership flags and icons - a compilation of the various ownership flags and icons, with brief descriptions and varying sizes. Transgender and nonbinary friendly.

Seek Discipline! Wiki - A Wiki run by House of Tanos.

Subdrop - A basic essay on subdrop and how to deal with it by the D/s Seekers.

The Slave Register - A community where slaves and Masters can gather to talk about their experiences. Registration on this page is restricted to those 18 or older (21 depending on location).

Tops Disease - A short, comprehensible essay on Tops Disease by Mistress Steel.

Twisted Monk - Source of fine hemp rope and link to "how to" bondage videos.

Wax Play Info by shevah~ - Information on how to play with wax safely, cleanup tips and what type of candles to use.

Wipipedia - A wiki on everything ranging from BDSM equipment to clubbing to legal matters and everything else in between, maintained by the London Fetish Scene.



Sample slavery contracts:

<!-- m --><a class="postlink" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/TPE/">http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/TPE/</a><!-- m --> ... ntract.htm
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.bdsmcircle.net/dslifestyle/contractbm.htm">http://www.bdsmcircle.net/dslifestyle/contractbm.htm</a><!-- m -->
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/dictionary/Contracts/">http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/dictionary/Contracts/</a><!-- m -->

NOTE: Originally posted by a Gaian member "Officer Chadwick". Alteration and modifications to thread have been done to the original posts. I just thought this would be a good thread to have in the general discussion at this website for those who are actually part of the community and lifestyle and would like to have a place they can talk about it with others that are too.​
 
Another one of these threads? Really? S'been done to death. D8

Also, you should inform them you plagiarized their work, since yanno... it's kind of a bad thing to do.
 
Ilovegoatse said:
Another one of these threads? Really? S'been done to death. D8

Also, you should inform them you plagiarized their work, since yanno... it's kind of a bad thing to do.

Well I just posted what I thought was necessary to have here atleast since alot of other stuff was just quotes and opinions about certain points of views by other Gaian users. But you're right I should just inform them that I brought their work and idea over onto another site. I'm not really stealing the work since I'm still labeling the fact who originally posted the thread and idea.
 
I honestly think this topic is done to death, still. Everyone constantly talks about it and it just ends in people whining that they wished they had a master blah blah blah.

And I consider it stealing if you don't ask their permission, d eal with it.
 
Ilovegoatse said:
I honestly think this topic is done to death, still. Everyone constantly talks about it and it just ends in people whining that they wished they had a master blah blah blah.

And I consider it stealing if you don't ask their permission, d eal with it.

I'm sorry?
 
Ilovegoatse said:
And rightfully so.

I just didn't think something like this was posted so much and well since it is I just hope this one is a bit different atleast....and as far as the whining and complaining goes on in the others this is really meant for the mature people at heart about the passion and lifestyle. Not a pick-up thread.
 
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