Cassandra's Brain Dump [comments welcome!]

I'm so bad at journals. I probably have written less journal entries in my life than the number of physical journals and notebooks that I've bought or been gifted. My biggest problem is stream of consciousness writing. I get so caught up in revising and correcting a sentence before I move on, that I just don't get things written unless I'm really inspired to write (like a roleplay) or I have some responsibility to get it done (like work). I really want to break through that word by word editing, but it's honestly felt like it's getting worse in recent years. Like I'm getting less comfortable with just putting things out there as I get older.

Anyway, I'm trying my best to write this without being too picky about sentence form, word choice, flow, etc. I'm a major overthinker FYI. I think that's it for now. If you're reading this and you have some thoughts or tips on the subject, do share!

- Cassandra

If it helps, one perk of stream of consciousness writing is that it does come off more natural and allows you to have your own voice. Try reading your stuff out loud to yourself (that will help you catch "run-ons"), but aside from that, enjoy it.

kckolbe said:

If it helps, one perk of stream of consciousness writing is that it does come off more natural and allows you to have your own voice. Try reading your stuff out loud to yourself (that will help you catch "run-ons"), but aside from that, enjoy it.

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Thanks for stopping by! I generally prefer well edited writing myself. But yeah, I'm working on being less nitpicky while I write something then going back to read it and make corrections. Currently, I get too caught up in getting things just right while I'm making sentences, then by the time I'm done I just want to hit submit to get it out of my sight. It's a very healthy relationship I have with my writing. :dodgy:

Phew. It's been a busy couple of weeks. I've been assigned the lead dev role on a project, working with a new person at work. It's a totally different structure of how we usually do things. We pretty much only do solo projects at work, where everyone plans, builds, and maintains their own stuff. This is the first time we've had a front-end developer doing user interfaces, (which is nice!) so while I only have to build the back-end (i should mention this is in web development), it involves figuring out how to structure everything differently to facilitate that. Sadly, that's something I don't really have experience in yet. I'm looking forward to it, but it makes me feel responsible for someone else's ability to get things done in a way that I haven't been at this job.

Did I mention I'm also looking to CHANGE jobs? That's really what is making me anxious. I've been planning to move to a city a couple hours away, the plan being to find a job there first. I don't like the whole aspect of looking for a job while not telling my current employer that I plan to leave. I guess that's normal, but I still don't like it. Why can't I just be up front with everyone about everything? It so often feels like the job world requires people to look out for only themselves as the norm. If it sounds like I'm too sensitive for the business world, I probably am.

I just found out yesterday that I'm not moving on to the next round of interviews with a company I'd been talking to. It's really a bummer, because it seems like a really good company and I was actually excited about the prospect of working there. They have a really good and open hiring process, they seem to prioritize having good communication and really good training for new employees. I don't feel like I have this amazing resume to trot out and pick up whatever job I want, so I haven't had a lot of hope about ending up at in a perfect next job. This one seemed really promising, so it's disappointing that I felt like I interviewed well but didn't make the cut. I'm doing my best not to dwell and mope and curl up into a little pity ball about it. The last time this happened when I was job hunting straight out of school, that's exactly what I did for a couple months. I can say from experience it didn't help. So yeah, back to the job boards, back to first interviews and tweaking my resume. Hopefully there's some other good companies out there. Wish me luck!

That's about it. Honestly, I think I set out to write this post as a way to work out some anxiety over it all. I'm a bit sad about it, but I feel more ready to move on than break down. So that's good. Anyway, thanks for reading! Kisses if you actually made it this far!

- Cassandra

Hey there! If you didn't make the cut, you can always reach out to them and ask for feedback on where you could strengthen your skills. A lot of companies won't respond but when one does, you get really great feedback sometimes.

Then use that information to fuel your meteoric rise and lead a hostile take over. Liquidate all the companies assets after mass layoffs, make them watch the building burn to the ground if they want severance pay!