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Life on the Edge - musings and maybe more (comments and questions ok )

megyn

megyn

Star
Joined
Jan 2, 2017
Location
East coast USA
For the past year or more my life has changed , it went from a comfortable existance to one where i was couch surfing and the like.

I don't really want to go into the whys and whats , this will be more about what i have learned

Living on the edge has given me the great understanding of what is really important - and really it's not things. Ok, sure, a really good quality and cute pair of shoes is a treasure.

But knowing what i really need to live, and who will help me get it, that is valuable.


The other part of this thread will be my thoughts on edging and orgasm denial. ( yes yes, it'd double entendre) Its something i have deep interest in and i might even chronicle my journey to go longer and longer between them. Making it more about the trip and not the payoff, so to speak.



I was going to ask people to not ask questions til I fixed up the post, but its fine if you have questions or comments. I can't guarantee I will answer them
 
Tonight I have also been thinking.. i may want to look into a deep pet play. Assuming the persona long term. No talking, etc. it could bring very interesting perspective, but if i did that id change the name to pethouse on the edge , or something like that. :)
 
megyn said:
Tonight I have also been thinking.. i may want to look into a deep pet play. Assuming the persona long term. No talking, etc. it could bring very interesting perspective, but if i did that id change the name to pethouse on the edge , or something like that. :)
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I should note the exploration into pet play would by necessity need to be in RP. I need to talk to work RL. Though if i ever find myself in a situation where i wasnt working and living with someone with interest in helping me explore me becoming a pet.
 
Day 5 .. so someone has graciously offered to help and has told me i wont be cumming until this weekend. but then they do like me edging too, more and more.. hopefully i dont slip. this is something i set out to do was not forced. i really want to see how addicted i am to it, to see how it colors my perceptions. I know I didnt appreciate it so much before. ...
 
I'm glad to hear you found someone to help you broaden your horizons and test your limits. I know you can hold out until they allow you to cum and it should be worth it if it's something you really want.

Best of luck with lasting until the weekend.
 
Whisper Twice said:
Makes me think of the old song: "Everybody's Working for the Weekend"
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hehe. hopefully. its not a given ill get one then.. which is fine. though its night 6 now and i do have to admit i miss it.. i try not to think about it too much because i think it would make me desperate
 
Is it day 7 or 8 now, my mind is a little fuzzy. I dont really feel all that bad except when i edge, then i know how badly i need it. I really hope to earn it some time this weekend but its still a bit of a longshot im being told. thats ok. This is making me more spirtual and ive actually been told i seem like ive been very sweet to people lately.

Of course who knows when it turns me into a raging bitch lol. Its still an exploration.
 
Its like day 10 now and im seriously in need but no relief in sight. I may have misjudged getting into this


but i know i will never take one for granted again, that is for sure.
 
Ten days? You'll be fine with a few more I know you can manage, you've already gotten this far. Why not shoot for at least an even two weeks.
 
So today the string was broken and my sanity returned. I had gotten really bitchy, of course its hard to say if there was any causation. It will take repetition to see if there is an optimal number of days between..

It was... quite amazing. I dont think i will ever take it for granted again that is for sure.
 
Went from working 80 hours a week to barely able to life head off pillow. Bad sick all week sorry to anyone who misses me.

Needless to say im not that concerned with the "payoff" currently
 
So I was bad sick and now I finally know i am better?

how do i know? because i finally crave orgasms again, and the weight of not having had one in weeks really has me on edge now. definitely will be edging tonight.
 
So after my last one on Valentine's Day, i havent had anyone really to give me permission so to speak and so its been quite a while. im still edging nighty for the most part . I actually answered an ad on craiglist and the guy wanted me to edge 5 times a day to start.. eding is important to me but not that bad yet i dont know how i could find time or privacy to do that. I have to admit the idea would be very sexy.

But ive actually been fairly well adjusted duing this run. Yes when i edge i feel so desperate but its not so all consuming the rest of the time. Of course, i also dont have anyone really teasing me much either :)
 
So, what is even more frustrating than lack of orgasms? How about lack of internet or phone data. We are back on now though. I have much catching up to do.

Though without internet i did do some uncustomary socialization with some people i normally avoid and actually it turned out.. rather interesting.
 
megyn said:
So, what is even more frustrating than lack of orgasms? How about lack of internet or phone data. We are back on now though. I have much catching up to do.

Though without internet i did do some uncustomary socialization with some people i normally avoid and actually it turned out.. rather interesting.
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Welcome back back back!

Glad to see you back on here again. Hope to maybe run into you sometime. Cheers!

May the wind be straight and true at your back.

-Sam
 
So i havent been as serious about this lately as i probably should have and it has me out of sorts. Or maybe i am just out of sorts which has led me to not be as serious about this. Chicken - Egg - Chicken. I have probably been working too many hours, because it seems whenever i relax enough to even write, i fall asleep . Today i had some coffee when i got home from work and only worked one job .

That's not to said i have had a slip, i just haven't been aggressively pursuing it like i used to do. am i cheating myself? i don't know. i feel out of sorts i guess. i guess im a little lost but it will stay that way for now as long as i am working so much. i am guessing they won't need me as much at the restaurant once all the graduation parties are done. so i am just taking whatever hours i can get , except today because i told them i needed to rest.
 
Self care is important, tis possible you're mildly burnt out, burning out, or just stressed and your body is putting you to sleep as a defense mechanism to cut stress.
 
Anansi said:
Self care is important, tis possible you're mildly burnt out, burning out, or just stressed and your body is putting you to sleep as a defense mechanism to cut stress.
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Possibly. I passed out watching a TV show tonight .
 
megyn said:
Anansi said:
Self care is important, tis possible you're mildly burnt out, burning out, or just stressed and your body is putting you to sleep as a defense mechanism to cut stress.
Click to expand...

Possibly. I passed out watching a TV show tonight .
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Sounew like you get relaxed and your body goes " fuck it may not know,when Ill get this chance again" and puts you out. Were you previously depriving yourself of sleep?
 
so this is not a post on the more carnal side of living on th edge but a reminder i have other shit in my life i need to focus on sometimes before it blows up on me. ive been reminded that nothing in ife is a given and as unhappy as you are in a situation, it can often be worse - in other words not all change is for the better.


anyhow for now things are basically as they were a month ago. maybe thats stagnation, but its safe and liveable and i can go back to making progress on the stuff i need to do.


i apologize to anyone i have open rps with, its going to be some time to sort those out as they havent even been in mind these past few weeks
 
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