Clouded Minds [ Bear & Grimm666 ]

So this was what he was reduced to - online dating. He had watched his friends and coworkers be seduced by the easy way to catch and lure people into relationships, flings, or dates, but he had resisted the temptation for himself… Until just a few weeks ago. He’d set himself up a profile in a moment of weakness and found himself surprisingly… Enjoying it.

At first it was the simple excitement of going through the profiles and learning about all of the people that were desperately seeking someone else in the area, but the excitement had quickly turned to an enjoyment of the simple conversations that took place after it. He found only quick hook ups at first, meaningless flings that would last a night, maybe two or three if the person was a good lay. But none of them filled the void that was within in, none of them made him feel like he could spend more than just condoms on them.

They were nothing to him.

Everything changed when he found her - a girl that was every bit of unusual in her looks as she was in her personality. She was the first where he had to admit that his intentions were not just to ‘hump and dump,’ but to see about forming something… More. Everything about her had him entranced, from her dual-colored hair to her vivid blue eyes that were every bit as captivating as her personality.

They had spent the past week or so talking over the dating app that had been installed on his phone and he’d finally gotten up the guts to invite her to a date - a proper date. They’d met before, but it had been brief. Coffee before he’d had to run to work, or a drink during his lunch hour when he’d had a chance to get away from his coworkers. She was a breath of fresh air in his life and suddenly when he was without her he couldn’t help but feel like… Like he couldn’t even breathe, like he was struggling to pull any air into his lungs.

This wasn’t by any means his first date with a girl, but he was starting to feel like it was from the jitters and the anxiety that was going through his body. He couldn’t pick a station to listen to as he drove over to her place, flipping absently through channels as he tried to get his nerves to settle. By the time he’d come to a stop, he made the shocking realization that he’d spent over twenty minutes turning the knob and getting steadily more frustrated.

He put his car in park with an aggravated sigh, running his hands through his hair to fix it and letting out a shuddering breath slowly. Just a girl. Just a girl. He’d dressed just a step above casual, with a dark blue button-down and a pair of black slacks. He left the car with a smile on his face, pulling on the usual facade of absolute confidence and assurance that he was the absolute male. Derek plastered a smile onto his lips as he knocked on her door, shoving his hands back into his pockets as he waited.

Casey was nervous, it had been a long time since he had a real date. It was mostly because of the fact that he was "way too feminine" for most people's taste. He couldn't help it though, he liked how he looked. He took to a dating app, wanting to meet someone who was interested in him for who he was but, that was difficult for the most part.

Until he met Derek.

The man didn't blow him off and found him interesting which was good for him. Apparently he liked his hair and eyes the most, which was a first but, he couldn't complain. They had met up for coffee and lunch time drinks before and, every time was great and finally, they decided to go on a real date.

He didn't know what to wear though, knowing he would be there sooner than later and made sure to wash his face and brush his teeth before heading to his bedroom and contemplating what to wear. About 5 minutes passed and he decided on a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, a rose colored, long sleeved shirt and a plain black sweater over it and a pair of black socks and some fashion sneakers before going to check how he looked.

Butterflies. That's what was in his belly at that moment as he realized that he would be on a real date tonight and he sighed, closing his eyes as he tried to calm his nerves. "Just...breathe. He likes you and you like him..." he murmured to himself as he paced back and forth before leaving the room but turning right back around and grabbing a stretch bracelet and a few rings, putting on the jewelry before leaving the room and going to the kitchen, humming nervously as he looked out the window.

He wasn't there when he looked and went to sit down in the living room, grabbing his tablet and deciding to play a game to occupy his mind while he waited. It didn't seem to be long before he heard a knock on the door and suddenly, he was nervous all over again, getting up and locking his tablet before rushing to open the door. When he was met with the sight of Derek dressed as nice as every time they had met before, probably even nicer, he gave a sheepish smile. "I-I'm so glad you made it. Um..come in, please." he said, stepping aside to allow the other in.

There was a few moments of silence before Casey answered the door that Derek contemplated the whole thing, second guessing his ability to date someone - actually date them and not just take them out to coerce them into his bed later - and he wondered if he was going to live up to what she wanted. God, she was so cute that he was sure she had guys all over her. They’d talked a bit about how she had difficulty in the past because people didn’t want to accept her, but he didn’t see the problems that they did. Sure, she was unique but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

The moment she opened the door he knew that he made the right decision to come, momentarily breathless once again with how she looked. Her eyes looked so blue that they almost looked fake and her cheeks with the soft rosy tint of having been freshly washed and pampered. She didn’t dress in the way that most girls did in the current times - as if they were going to step onto hte set of a strip show - but he liked that modesty in her. Maybe it was even a way she dealt with the fact that she had a smaller chest size…

“I’m glad you agreed to it,” He said finally, realizing he’d been standing there far too long as he finally was able to let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding, “You, uh,” He was stumbling for his words, flustered by the fact that she was possibly the most beautiful oddity he’d ever been attracted to, “You look great.” He said finally.

Derek stepped inside and glanced around, noting the fact that her house was a decent enough size for someone living by themselves. For someone that was normally so smooth, he found himself falling flat, “So, uh,” He scratched at the back of his neck for a moment, letting out a small chuckle, “Your place looks nice… Did you want to have a date here or… go out?”

"I wouldn't have turned this down. I mean...you're very kind and make for good company." Casey said with a shy smile. He didn't know why he was so nervous now. "Um...th-thank you... You look great too."

He wondered if Derek was as nervous as he was but, tried his best to brush off the nerves. At the question of if they would go out or stay in, he blushed and bit his lip. "We can go out. There's some good restaurants nearby that aren't too pricey." he replied. "Or we can order something in. I... I don't mind either." he added after a moment, hoping that he didn't seem too eager.

He wondered why Derek had decided to take him out instead of someone else, someone who looked different, someone who was better looking. He never thought highly of himself so, all of this came as a shock to him and made him feel like he had to tread carefully in order to not mess up.

Well, things were about as awkward as they could be since both of them still seemed rather shy. He couldn’t help it, though, because she was so beyond what he was normally interested in. But in comparison to his normal, she was so much… More. There was something about her that he couldn’t place that just seemed to be so much more relateable to him on a more basic level and so much more to her than just a physical attraction. Sure, she was cute… But she wasn’t just cute.

Derek reminded himself silently that he was confident and gathered up all of that confidence to really force himself into the person he normally was, “How about we order in?” He suggested, motioning towards the couch before he took a seat on it, crossing his legs as he leaned back into the seat, his ankle resting on his knee. “I’d like to get to know you without the distraction of a bunch of other people trying to butt into our conversation.”

He offered her a smile so that he would (hopefully) not intimidate her but so much, being brave enough to stretch an arm across the back of the couch. “You know, I won’t lie but it was your hair that caught my attention first,” He joked, giving a short chuckle, “It’s a great representation of who you are. Very unique and beautiful… What made you pick those colors?”

He was fairly thankful that he wasn't the only one who was clearly shy and nervous at that moment but, he did hope that they both could come out of that shyness sooner than later, not wanting the entire evening to be awkward for the two of them. He was also very glad that the other was taking a bit of initiative in suggesting they order in and gave a nod, smiling as he closed and locked the door. "Sure. Would you like pizza or chinese? Those are the only two things we could get without having to go and pick anything up." he said as he went to sit on the couch next to Derek.

Once seated, he grabbed his tablet, unlocking the device and exiting the game he left open before going to his folder with different food apps. "I'll be honest, I'm not a...super social person so, I'm glad we're staying in." he said, tucking some hair behind his ear.

The next thing caught him a bit off guard. "My hair? Oh." he giggled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "Pink and blue are two of my favorite colors. I grew into them though because when I was younger, I used to tell my parents I hated them and liked green instead." he explained. Suddenly, he felt shy again and blushed. "Um..do you have a favorite color?"

The more he acted the part of the confident one the more his confidence was coming out, his body easing back into Casey’s sofa as he found himself gathering about his wits. She was just a girl, and though she was so far different from everything else that he was used to, she was still at the core of everything just a girl. “Chinese sounds perfect.” He said, because he wanted to be decisive and make a decent enough choice. You couldn’t ever go wrong with Chinese food.

He liked to watch her as she played on her tablet, his eyes examining the way the light reflected back onto her face and lit her up like an angel. It really brought all the light colors in her hair and made it look as if every piece was sparkling, a warm smile coming to his lips.

“You know, I would have said that my favorite color actually is orange… But I think I’m suddenly finding myself very fond of pink and blue.” He had really found his confidence, and though it was early he couldn’t help himself any longer. There was an obvious attraction between the two of them and he was going to act on his own desires, grasping her chin in a soft hand to pull her into a soft and slow kiss. When he finally pulled away, he let out a content sigh, “I really could come to like pink and blue.”

Casey gave a nod and opened one of the apps, logging in and starting to place the order. He felt as if he was being watched, giving a short glance over to his date and hoping the color in his cheeks wouldn't be too noticeable. He decided to order what he usually enjoyed from that particular resturaunt and some extra fried rice and egg rolls, listening to Derek talk about his favorite color. What he said made him blink and look up just in time for a kiss. The sudden kiss sent a shiver down his spine and his pulse racing, kissing back and wishing it didn't end but, he would keep that to himself.

"Th-they're very um...nice...Especially the more pastel pinks and blues..." he managed after gathering himself once more. He cleared his throat. "Um...did you want anything specific or is lo mein, fried rice and orange chicken okay with you?" he asked.

The date felt like it was going to go well, glad that things didn't seem to be getting rushed. Sure, the kiss was sudden and random but it felt good. It wasn't like he was getting pinned down and stripped, not that he would complain about that.

The confidence paid off with a stolen kiss, one that was almost chaste in how sweet it was but by no means lacking in passion. Part of him wanted to twist his hands into her hair and take her right then and there, but that wouldn’t do for a first proper date. She was a lady and he would have to learn how to treat her right, even if it meant taking things slower than he normally would. She didn’t seem opposed to his affections, which was at least one small positive.

“That sounds perfect.” He assured her, though he didn’t take his eyes off of her, watching the nervous ticks in her face and the blush that had stolen across her cheeks. She was truly beautiful, even if she wasn’t the traditional types of beauty that he was normally attracted to. He still hadn’t managed to figure out what it was about her that was so vastly different, so unique that made him feel so… Alive.

He liked to watch her face and see how she moved, even though she was showing that she was increasingly aware of him. “Do I make you uncomfortable?” He asked after a long moment of pondering over that question, because he knew that he did come on strong at times. He was one of the kind to be brazen enough to screw anything that walked, but he would never be the type to do so without consent. That wasn’t part of his nature, no matter how aggressively ‘male’ he tended to be.

He nodded and decided to get two drinks as well before submitting the order and exiting the app once it had been confirmed it was sent. "That's done." he said softly, setting the tablet aside. At the question of if Derek made him uncomfortable or not, he chewed his bottom lip and shook his head.

"I'm not uncomfortable just...nervous..." Casey replied, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't want to be too nervous anymore, wanting to have his confidence but, that was hard. Especially now. "Uh...wh-what would you like to do? We can watch a movie or um...well, actually that's all there is to do without going outside or to a different part of the house..."

He wasn't sure what they should do. He had never dated a man like Derek before. He knew what he was doing and he knew what he wanted and Casey wasn't used to that. It wasn't like he didn't want that though, knowing something new was not a bad thing. "Or we can just talk and get to know each other more than we already do."