Infirm (Ben Robertson x Devilla Roche)

I'm on the couch, waiting for her to return. I look relaxed. The football game isn't on yet but the damn Browns are going to lose again this week, aren't they?

I relace and tighten my shoes for the third time. I'll need new pairs soon.

I look confident again. I'm in my dungarees - cuffs rolled up - because I want to work in the yard this afternoon. But I know we have to talk first. I'm practicing my smile and going over what I want to say.

It's no problem it all makes sense. I'll work it out fine.

But why are my hands shaking?

I sit in the pew and listen to Reverend Jackson going into one of his more inspirational sermons...so I sit and listen with one part of my brain while pray with the other part...and as I do, I sit there being thankful for everything I have, I do pray for Ben, but I feel like some of my earlier prayers have been answered...I pray that Ben continues to be on the mend and have no pain...but somehow, his shrinking doesn't seem to make it in those prayers...am I crazy that when we stood toe to toe I found our gap in size, well, I found something exhilarating about...I know most women would find it to be a problem, the woman is always shorter then the man, but why?? Why does that have to be so?? God, please forgive me, but I like that Ben is shorter than me, is that such a crime?? Besides, I feel this is intervention from you, that you have a plan here, that you have a reason to let Ben have this disease, to make him shrink...and I'm going to meet this challenge or whatever it is, accept it, but I'm going to do what I have to do...

The sermon ends...with a few prayers from Reverend Jackson, the mass is over....then I hear an announcement from Sharon O'Hare, who an older woman in her 60's, white hair, but in good shape for her age...she's been involved with the church for as long as I can remember...

"The adult choral group has changed practice this week from Tuesday to Thursday night at 8 pm. Our church is now accepting applications for any boy between 7 and 14 to give service to the Lord as an alter boy. Boys are not required to attend St. Luke's School, but must be in good standing with their respective public school. The Ladies Guild is having a bake sale today downstairs in the lower level of the church. The money is being raised for the needy as we come up to the Thanksgiving Holidays, which is just a few weeks away."

The mass ends and I make my way outside...everyone shakes the Reverends hand including me....I get a handshake as well...including a comment....

Reverend Jackson looks me up and down and notices something...
"My, my Millicent you are looking rather tall these days. Is God pushing you up closer to the sky or is it a new pair of shoes from Bixby's? ~he chuckles a bit and smiles~

I answer him directly, my bosom pushed outward....
"New shoes Reverend, the style these days are making the heels higher."

His eyes fall to my chest...he begins to fumble his words...
"Well, I mean, anyway, give Ben a hello for me, I hope he's feeling a better."

"I will Reverend, I will."

********

I decide to go to the bake sale and pick up a rum raisin bread for 25 cents....then I bump into Reverend Jackson's backside accident....

At first he's startled, but then turns back around with a smile...

I apologize...
"Oh, Reverend I'm sorry I didn't see you there."

Rev.: "It's quite all right. No need to apologize. ~he turns to two older ladies~ "Ladies, could you excuse me, I need to talk to Mrs. Robertson for a moment.

Reverend Jackson pulls me over and we talk about Ben...he has one arm around me and we walk slowly...at times he's looking down, other times, I can feel him leering at my now larger boobs...his arm drops a tad bit and it's practically on my derriere.....

Reverend Jackson.....thinking...
"Lord forgive me, but I am but a man. What have you done to this woman? She is tempting me with those huge boobs this lovely rump and curvy hip of hers. She's glowing. She's more gorgeous than ever. You know I've always thought that she was the prettiest gal in my congregation, but how could you tempt me this way? How could you?"

Back in conversation, Reverend Jackson finishes his conversation with Milly....
"....so don't hesitate to have me over Millicent. I will speak to Ben whenever he needs me, understand."

Milly....
"Of course Reverend, I'll let him know that you're thinking about him."

I get home and see Ben on the couch, dressed but doing nothing...he looks fine, except the television is not on, he's not reading either...

I remove my hat and place it on the credenza....
"I got a raisin bread from a bake sale that the Ladies' Guild was having."

I walk over to the kitchen and place it on one of the counter tops...then I yell out...
"I had a nice conversation with Reverend Jackson. He's been thinking about you. He wanted to know how you were doing."

I walk into the living room...bend over, deeply, and give Ben a kiss on the cheek....
"I think the Reverend noticed my changes and I don't think having heels, even low heels helped. ~I giggle~ I think he thought God intervened, I know it. He has no way to explain how I look. Some of the women were staring at me to, but I gave them no never mind. Anyway Ben how are you feeling?"

I look relaxed I look confident.

She looks jaunty, energized from a morning at church, and greets me with a sunny smile.

"I got a raisin bread from a bake sale that the Ladies' Guild was having."

Click to expand...

I am relaxed I am confident.

"Th-that's great, honey..." I say, wincing at the skip in my voice, "Maybe we can have some at dinner?"

I am relaxed I am confident.

She brings the bread into the kitchen, speaking to me from there.

"I had a nice conversation with Reverend Jackson. He's been thinking about you. He wanted to know how you were doing."

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I sound relaxed I sound confident.

"Aw, I should give him a ring," I offer, as she comes back into the living room, "I f-feel bad missing his sermon today but-"

She bends over, kisses me with a <smack> on the cheek that I'm sure leaves a mark. She tells me a little bit more about the looks she was getting at church from the other ladies and the Reverend himself. I always thought that guy was a little bit of an odd ball, and certainly paid Milly a little too much attention in the past. And now...I can just imagine!

I look relaxed I look confident.

"Honey, sit down," I say, looking up into her gorgeous, ebullient face.

Her smile drops a little bit as she tucks her skirt and sits next to me on the couch, but her eyes are still glittering and wide and attentive. My pulse quickens, now that she's so close. It's this new effect she's having on me these days...it's the eyes, the new figure, everything. There's something in the air, around her, that makes my heart flutter, like a gawky teen trying to talk to the prettiest girl in school.

But I'm not a teen. I'm not a kid. I'm relaxed and confident, and she's my wife.

"I want to apologize, honey," I start, taking her hands into mine, "Since you've been gone, I've been <jerking off into your drawer of bras> thinking...I want to apologize for the way I've been..."

I can see her start to interject, to stop me where I am, but I continue.

"These treatments...they make me do things I normally wouldn't do. Say things I normally wouldn't say," I explain, trying to keep my breathing even, "they make me think things I normally wouldn't think..."

Oh please oh please oh please believe me...

"And I was a wreck this morning, I know," I say, pressing onward, "last night was...so much. I think I was in shock, when I was raking leaves this morning, and barely able to talk afterwards..."

I look into her face. Her pale milky skin is absolutely flawless, her eyes big and glowing like gemstones lit from within. Just looking at her makes me want to make her happy, to admit things to her. I find myself saying more than I normally would.

"I...I know that the mi-....the medicine, the treatments....they make me sound like a...like a moron," I say, "but I want you to know that...th-that that's not me talking, th-that it's the medicine..."

oh god please believe me...

Her features are beautiful and paralyzing and pacifying. They make me want to do whatever I can to make her happy. My eyes start to wander down her long, graceful neck...

"Shhh!!" I place my finger to my lips and tell him to be quiet. "Don't ever refer to yourself as a moron Ben. I know that there are certain things that the medicine does to you or makes you do. It is not your fault. You and I must accept these things."

I place my hand in his moppy hair and play with it...I smile at him and try to put his mind at ease....
"Quite frankly, and I know this sounds selfish of me, but I like the new you. I like the boyish quality you exude, the stuttering, the way you respond to my naked body, to my bosom. I love that you've been home more than ever, that I have been able to take care of you the way I have. And now, feeding you your bottle, well, it never felt more natural to me. I realize your my husband, but we share an intimacy that I had no idea we had or could ever have."

I slowly walk around the couch and unbutton the top of my outfit and gently remove it from my body....I then stand in front of Ben and unhook my bra and remove it exposing the full splendor and glory of my breasts....

"They're getting bigger. I can feel it. My areolae are getting larger and my nipples are becoming bigger and wider than ever before. The operation has some side effects too, I'm mostly feeling the good things and you, well, you are the beneficiary of it all like these."

~I place my hands under my boobs and lift them up~

"They were EE's now I think they are EEE's or maybe even FF's. ~I lower them~ But honestly Ben I'm not complaining mind you. Actually, quite the opposite. I rather am enjoying their size. The same with my hips and my derriere, they seem to be, I think, expanding still."

I then sit on the couch next to Ben...
"And that is only the half of it. I'm, I'm feeling very maternal these days. More and more so as each day goes by. There are dreams I have, dreams about you Ben."

I turn my head away in shame and become emotional...
"But, I'm sure you don't want to hear about them."

Holy god.

She says h-her hips, her rear...and, oh god, her breasts...they're all still growing? B-but she's taking the tablets...but oh my god her breasts look at her breasts...

They're huge and white and perfect, as she's standing now bare chested in front of me. She's swollen with milk, gravid - and growing?

Yes, yes..intimacy. The intimacy that is growing between us...it is exhilarating. But at what cost? What am I giving up, for this new, exciting, lurid intimacy? Already I feel the balance between us tipping, something that was always - rightfully so, with me as the husband - in my favor, now tipping the other way.

A-and then: dreams...she speaks of maternal feelings, and then dreams about me. This is...this is crazy...do I..do I want to know, what's in these dreams..? My vision is swimming with the arousal I'm feeling, with her sitting next to me. She turns her head away and I stare down at her breasts. They are heavy and full, and I could swear they have a perfume of their own. I breathe, and smell her maternal air.

"N-no, I, uh...I mean, y-yes, of c-course," I stammer, my heart like a jackhammer as I take her hands in mine. Please, don't let her see the sordid, prurient motives behind my eyes. "Wh-what kind of dreams a-are you having..?"

His hands on mine and his willing to hear give me the confidence I need to say it out loud...

"Well, as I said, I'm feeling very maternal and your shrinking. My dreams, well, they have me wanting to take care of you more and more. Mother you more. Besides feeding you do other things for you. Like when I changed you this morning, I dreamt that I would do that. I guess the moment was right and I did it. The same with giving you a bath, I dreamt that one too, and now I did that. I, I enjoy doing those things in a motherly way, but also find myself wanting more. Something more sexual."

I turn away again....
"Am I awful to have such thoughts?? Is that Godly of me or am I a terrible wife for having such thoughts?"

Sitting beside her, she on my left, listening to her - I can't believe what I'm hearing...my heart is pounding in my chest, I'm sure she feels my hands getting sweaty...jesus I can't let on how much this is turning me on...can I?

"...I'm feeling very maternal...dreams...wanting to take care of you...Mother you...do other things for you. Like when I changed you this morning...giving you a bath..."

Click to expand...

oh my god I can't believe this...she is so beautiful, sitting next to me, her eyes glittering and her bare chest all but heaving with her own emotion...I want to cave in, I want to to tell her everything. But I-I...

"M-M-Milly..." I stammer, my voice trembling with barely suppressed excitement, "th-this is...this is like it was...before your nerve pills, remember? The dreams you used to have, about having a baby...?"

She nods, remembering. The pills - she takes them every day - they suppressed all that, all those negative thoughts and emotions she used to get after being told that no, she'd never bear children. They dulled them, and they dulled her. They suppressed her, in so many ways...but she's a much happier person for them.

"A-and...these things..." I continue, "g-giving me the bottle...helping me when I need it, when I...after a treatment...when I can't clothe myself, or..." I take a deep, rattling breath; this is so difficult to say "clean myself, or barely talk..." Her eyes are widening, I can see her getting excited just at the thought. Oh god. "...do you...do you like it..?"

She nods again, eyes searching deep inside me, trying to read me, read what I'm thinking.

"I, I enjoy doing those things...but also find myself wanting more. Something more sexual..."

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I...I can't speak. My jaw trembles...

"Am I awful to have such thoughts?? Is that Godly of me or am I a terrible wife for having such thoughts?"

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I...I'm ashamed to admit it but I am so hard for this right now. But I have to make this right. "N-n-no...Milly..!" I say, my right hand coming up to cup her chin, "this is...this is love that you're feeling. I know it's confusing, but...but God can't be angry at you for...for wanting to care for another. For wanting to show love for another. And me, in my time of need...I-I..."

Her eyes are wet, her own lips trembling, hanging on my every word.

oh god...

"...I-I want it t-too," I admit, "Part of me...likes it. I l-like having you...take care of me, when I need it..."

Her eyes are wide, searching...searching...seeing...realizing...

"...a-and it's okay," I continue, struggling, disbelieving what I'm saying, "that...wh-when I need it....it's okay that you...you...treat me like a...like a..." My face is burning. I can't say it. She is so beautiful and I know it's what she wants but I can't say it.

Part of me wants to throw myself onto her, lay myself down in her lap and nuzzle into her thighs. Part of me wants to stare up at her full, white breasts and feel her hand playing with my hair while the other pulls me from my trousers. Oh my god my cock is so hard, my loins swelling and aching for her, at the thoughts...part of me wants to admit it all, lay myself bare...

But I can't let her see this part of me.

Instead, I set my jaw, and I tell her what to do.

"Milly...g-get on your knees," I tell her, and see the shock in her eyes. My voice is shaking with lust but I'm like a man possessed. "G-get on your knees, now..." I say, and take her by the hip. I need to show her. I need to prove. I direct her, and she complies. She's open-mouthed with surprise but I get her on her knees, facing away from me as I get up to kneel on the couch myself and tell her: "put your face down."

She obeys, and she lowers her face to the cushion, at the end of the couch. From behind her I'm struck for a moment of shock myself when faced with her ass. It is huge. Up in the air, presented to me lewdly in the skirt of her thin wool dress. Bulging and...good god do I hear ripping?...ready to burst the seams.

I struggle at first, the skirt being so tight, with the snap and then the zipper, but I have it off her quickly. And then her stockings, and her white Maidenform panties, they're pulled down and my own pants are down and I'm...nnnnGGGHH!...inside her. I can hear her cooing, almost whimpering, into the couch below me. She's mewling my name, encouraging me, and I set myself to task.

Good god she's huge.

Kneeling behind her, I have my hands on her wide hips. Awkwardly, I'm bracing my weight on her; her legs are longer than mine and I struggle to stay atop. But she's strong holding me up easily and I'm inside her and sliding in and marveling Holy Crap look at her. Her flesh jiggles in great waves with each thrust, slamming back into me forcefully and my eyes goggle at it.

In the past I've avoided this, taking her from behind, because of just this: she's bigger than me. It's evident. Her hips, her haunches: more powerful than my own. It's been intimidating but now I need it. I need to show her, show her what I am, take her from behind.

I rut into her, sliding in and out, and I grunt. I show her. I show her what I can do. I show her what I can do and I watch her huge rump slam into me, her broad womanly hips take me. I...I...I'm not going to be long...

NNNNNNnnnggghhh....

I come into her, again and again and again. She coos and whimpers and takes me until I am finished and I fall back onto the couch again, sitting. And panting, spent...

I sit there in my position on the couch and having Ben inside of me feels so good...I moan aloud, I'm feeling all sorts of areas of my body get excited...he continues to make love to me in this way, his pushing his cock hard inside of me...oh my God it feels so incredible....it gets to a point that I push my neck outward and upward and my long red man whips in a motion in which it lands on my bare back....

Then I hear Ben's grunting, followed by his hot semen flowing inside of me....oh how incredible that feeling is....

As Ben sinks back into the couch, panting...I look back down...drops of breast milk have fallen from my nipples to the couch pillows...I'm astonished....I get up, excited....and then pull Ben toward me and straddle his body with my legs and thighs...

Excited, in the sexiest of ways...I tell him...
"Ben, look! Look what has happened!! I'm lactating without a pump! I must have been so excited. My body, it reacted to your love making."

I then calm down, my maternal feelings take over....I can't fight them...Ben and I look at each other and I take hold of the back of his head.....

In a very calm tone, I say....
"Remember Honey, I'm always going to take good care of you."

As I pull his head in and push my enormous boob forward, a drip of milk forming at the end of my engorged nipple, I say....
"Open wide darling."

I am spent...but she is not.

Fucking her like that, from behind: I've turned her engine on and there's no stopping it. When she turns to me, spinning on her knees to straddle me where I sit on the couch, there's a wild look in her eyes. Her thick auburn hair has come undone and she whips it behind her back to fix me with an intense stare, her mouth wide. She's electrified, she's on fire...but my cock is deflating, and lays wetly and heavily on my thigh. There's no way I can satisfy her now. But it's then that I see it -

"Ben, look! Look what's happened!"

Click to expand...

...her breasts are leaking.

With her sitting on my lap, straddling me, we both watch the milk forming on her nipples, then running in slow drips down, over the curve of her lower breast and then under. A drop of milk forms, and then runs. As we watch, she is at once getting more excited and more focused, and I feel her hand snake behind my head. Oh no...oh...no...

"Remember Honey, I'm always going to take good care of you..."

Click to expand...

I can hear it in her voice. It's the hormones talking. Surging through her bloodstream at astronomically high levels, she's totally overcome, overwhelmed. But, fascinated, I can do nothing but watch, wide-eyed, as her breast approaches, her nipple forming even more milk as it anticipates me...

"...Open wide, darling..."

Click to expand...

Though I feel my lips parting, as if by instinct, I know that - Oh my god - I have to stop this...

"N-n-no, Milly, stop..." I whisper, in a weak, unsure voice, "no..."

She is so aroused, so overcome, that I am not sure she will listen. I pull back, best I can, but feel her other hand now behind my head...

"n-no..."

She pauses. Her left breast stops mere inches from my face, leaking more fluidly now. She's looking down at me and with both hands behind my head, her big, bare breasts are gathered between her arms, creating a mind-numbing display of cleavage. I'm staring, staring, staring straight ahead right into them, watching her milk form and dribble. She's making me look. Her breathing is deep and fast. The scent coming off of her is amazing, a deeply feminine smell, the essence of her, and it makes me weaker still. It makes we want to do whatever she wants.

I tilt my head back as much as I can and look up into her face. She is gazing down at me with a sad but lustful pout.

"N-no, honey," I repeat, "we can't..."

I take my finger and place it under my left nipple and take a taste...

Smiling...
"Um, Ben it is quite tasty straight from my breast."

I then take my index finger again and catch more of my milk then place it on Ben's lips...

My voice higher, my tone begging....
"Why don't you try it Ben, please?? Try it for the love we share with one another."

I'm pinned beneath her, my hands on her fleshy hips. My soft but bloated, semi-swollen cock is sandwiched between my thigh and hers. In the early November sunlight, she's plastered every soft part of her body up against me, pressing me to the couch. The warmth of her skin is enveloping me and every breath I take is full of her. Her scent pacifies me, makes me more and more compliant, more and more willing to do what she tells me. And just the sound of her voice, pleading but insistent, compels me even more...

"...try it Ben, please?? Try it..."

Click to expand...

And with that, she slips her finger, wet with her own milk, in through my lips.

I take it, licking it with my tongue, and my eyelids immediately flutter. The taste, it's sweetness - I'm familiar with it. But it's the feeling it brings - the sense of calm, alongside the arousal that ebbs in - that grips me. It's just a small amount but, perhaps it's this intimacy, I'm already feeling its effects.

She leaves her finger in my mouth, between my lips...and I begin to suck. I suck the tip of her finger, and I hear her sigh, I feel her shudder. This is what she wants. She slides it in deeper, to the first knuckle, and I suck harder, bringing a rhythm like I would to the bottle...or like a baby would to the breast.

My cock has reawakened. This is wrong, this is bad, but my cock loves it. It loves her milk in me, it loves her breasts now plastered against my face as she pulls in closer, smushing my right cheek. It loves the smell of her and the feel of her weight on me.

It loves how she's cooing to me now, sighing and groaning as she watches me and envelops me closer, becoming more and more and more aroused herself. The lust and the yearning are just pouring off of her now and she pulls me in closer and closer and is moaning as I'm sucking and sucking. Despite myself I start to whine and mewl at her finger, which inflames her even more. My cock loves it. It loves the weight and the smell and the fleshy softness.

It loves...ungh, she crushes my head with her breasts into the couch cushion as she raises up to...to grab me... it loves her hand on me...

I feel his cock getting harder and harder...it feels good up against me, its pushing against my pussy....there is something more to this whole scene here, I enjoy seeing Ben suck my finger...I feel a great sense of control, maternal control, and it washes over me in a great deal of lust, I just have to have Ben do as I say...so I advance further, push his head deep into the cushion and withdraw my finger....I turn my body and let my right boob move in, its big areola and nipple, which is still leaking, I move it toward his mouth...Ben's face looks small....it disappears between my huge bosom and the couch...it is such a lovely sight his smallness up against my largeness....I feel powerful, I feel super-maternal....I move in even MORE.....

In a sultry voice...
"Benny darling, take it in your mouth. Don't resist what I have. Do as I say and take it in your mouth."

Halfheartedly, I try to push, I try to fight. With meager effort, I try to move away. But she is aflame with passion, burning with lust...and I think my weak struggle just fuels her further. She wants this so bad. She's moving her nipple towards my mouth and I can barely resist...boob into my face, she's crushing me into the couch, enveloping me...

"Benny...darling..." she moans, "Take it in your mouth..."

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And now I gasp, I feel like I shrink even more, as she takes my cock and sits herself atop it, sliding herself onto me. I...I had no say in the matter...do I want this? Oh god but she feels so good, enveloping me now there too, all around me in every way possible. Her hips start to rock into me and her cooing and moaning grow more insistent. She wants she wants she wants...and I...I can't fight her...

...after my months of sickness, after months of shrinking and slowly waning, this is the first time I can really feel it. This is the first time it's obvious and clear: she's physically stronger, physically more powerful than me. The thought makes my pulse race...I feel the first breath of fear. I only half want to escape, but I know I couldn't. Her tit squashes me, her arms now both hold me. In her hormone-fueled lust she's all but smothering me, trying to get me to suckle. I try to slide my face away from her as her nipple approaches, and can only manage by shrinking away below her, sliding down scant inches against the couch back. My nose and mouth are now squashed on her soft, swollen underboob, below her nipple. Milk runs around my face and I hear her passion building and building along with her frustration...she speaks, breathless:

"Don't resist...Do as I say... take it in your mouth."

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I have to appease her, I know...

I open, and I take some of the flesh of her breast in my mouth, the flesh of her lower breast. Slick with milk, I taste her, and I start to suck. I suck and I whine and I grovel at her breast, knowing this is what she wants to see. More milk, and it affects me more. I close my eyes and smell her and start to lose myself in the moment. I'm sucking at her breast, below her nipple, tasting her milk...I'm moaning, softly, falling into rhythm, and feel her sighing and groaning and holding me tighter, fucking me. Her body is tensing and tensing and tightening and crushing me more and more and more...I'm sucking, at her skin, and whining: "Mmmm-...Mm-...M-..M-..M-.."

I watch as he finally latches on to my engorged nipple....

Smiling attentively....
"There, there that's a good boy."

I can feel something that is so different, so intoxicating, so wonderful, so natural that every fiber of my body awakens...not like utilizing that breast pump machine, the feeling of my dutiful husband suckling my boob is...is...well I can't even put it into words...and at the same time I can feel his cock inside of me and that only electrifies the experience even more...so, I slowly begin to move my weight back and forth, then rotate my hips...Ben's cock slowly moves in and out of my pussy and that too feels so natural these days, like it is part and parcel of this experience that we both want and that we both need....

I watch as the enormity of my boob mashes into the couch, enveloping the remainder of Ben's head....why do I find myself ever so pleased at such a sight? It makes me want to pull all of Ben into me...more than just spoon his body in our bed...I have this premonition in my head of wanting so much of him closer to me, very, very close...and knowing that he is still shrinking well....

"You keep sucking Ben, keep on sucking until you are full my dear."

Up and down and up and down, I continue to ride the length of his penis, feeling such a sense of satisfaction already...God, this feels so right for some reason....

I can't fight it.

Not only is she stronger than me, but I want it.

The small amount of milk I've lapped and sucked from her underbreast has weakened my resolve, made me compliant. I want to do what she says and I want to...to...

I want to suckle.

As she tilts my chin up, forcefully, I take her nipple. It's swollen beyond anything I've seen. I take it into my mouth and - face still mashed backwards into the couch - start to suck. She gasps as she ejaculates milk in a great, sudden burst into my throat and groans:

"There, there that's a good boy..."

Click to expand...

I groan myself...oh god what am I doing?!? Already I've started suckling suckling suckling like a...like a hungry infant and tasting her milk in my mouth taking it down my throat. She's electric around me, energized and fucking me like a horse. This has raised her lust to another level, raised her arousal. She was building before...building...building...

My own mind, under the influence of her milk, is relaxing, letting this happen. I feel her hands behind my head, in my hair. I hear her cooing and purring and groaning and calling my name as she encourages me to suck more and more and more. I feel her great weight atop me and know I couldn't stop her with all my strength. Her legs and hips are powerful, her torso smothering me. And her breasts her milk they're in my face, feeding me, smothering me. Oh god the thought the thought what's she doing to me...

Is she raping me?

That does it.

She and I crash into it at the same time, a huge climax. One that grows from her, flowing through her like a great current. Making her shudder and scream silent around me. One that consumes me, grabs me, holds me, guts me. I'm ejaculating up into her giving her it all giving her everything. I can feel it weaken me, sucking me out, leaving me emptier than I was before...

We ride it out, together, joined like one. My sucking, my feeding continues, my face still flattened by her tit, but I slow as the moment grows more lucid. As her own breathing slows, regulates, she finally peels herself back, away from me, and looks down onto my face over the swell of her big, white breasts. Her own eyes are wide and incredulous, her mouth gaping. I look up at her and can only say one thing:

"M-M-Milly...?"

...and then I start to cry.

God, I feel so strong, so alive after that...the release of my milk, the orgasm, everything...I've never felt so, so alive! ...my body tingles all over...I'm perspiring, but it feels good...real good...my breasts, especially wet, did I release something else from them, something more than sweat?

And then I look at Ben, and he weeps....I smile and come to his aid...

In a very mothering tone....
"There, there Ben, come here. Let me hug you."

I pull him off the couch and into my naked bosom, his head nestled into my cleavage...it somehow feels so good, it's so right...I can't get enough of it.....

"It's okay. I know what your thinking. Nothing is wrong here. This is all right, very right. It's okay to do what you did. I encouraged it. I wanted it. Don't compare us to other couples, to the status quo. We have a different circumstance and we have to accept that. Everything is all right. I'm going to make sure everything is all right."

I pull him away, my hands on his shoulders, and I look slightly down at him....
"You have to accept this Ben. You have to let things happen. You don't always need to understand it, but you must let things unfold and happen - not as they were, before your sickness, but as they are, and as they will be. Don't be fearful, don't let that get to you. I'm here for you Ben and love you more today, more at this moment then I did yesterday or the day before. Let it happen. Let things happen, understand?"

I look at him with my wide eyes, somehow being the stronger one...and the maternal feelings I have for Ben right now are so overwhelming...I, I, feel like his, dare I think it even to myself....

Sitting there, looking up at her. Listening to her. I...I understand. My eyes are still leaking, my lips trembling, but I understand. Everything she's saying must be right...right?

I'm breathing her in, and I feel better. I'm looking into her eyes, and I feel better. My gaze drops down her breasts and I feel...oh god what do I feel?!?

I'm frightened and ashamed and disoriented. My eyes linger over her large breasts, the pattern of blue veins below the skin, the large nipples. She has cleavage even like this, without a bra. White swells of smooth, firm flesh. She is so beautiful and I feel like...in this moment at least...I'm ready to give up this little bit more, to her...

Keeping my eyes on her breasts, without looking back up at her, I nod and murmur; " yes. "

"Good, I'm glad you agree with me. Besides all else, and I know I should say this out loud, but the sex, and the fact that we are having more sex has been wonderful."

I get up from the couch and grab my clothes and cover myself up, not out of embarrassment, but am getting a bit chilly....

I purse my lips and form a kiss, then smile...
"Listen Ben, I'm going upstairs to get changed and then I think I'll start an early dinner. Why don't you get dressed and watch the football game."

I clean myself up with a quick shower and come back down as the domestic wife, a total Jane Cleaver, yellow dress, long on the knees, very shapely throughout though....

I hear the TV on and float through the living room...
"Let me get that beer for you, hon."

The sound of a beer can opening and pouring it in a glass....I bring it over to my Ben....smiling....
"Here you are sweatheart. Now don't forget to use the coaster."

I kiss him on his head like a little boy and then go into the kitchen and get started on dinner....

The day...and night...go on as normal as normal can be.

"Normal" - hah. When were things last "normal"? Will they ever be "normal" again.

But I think back, to what my wife had told me, there on the couch. We have to come to terms with our new "normal", a different "normal". I have to understand that it's okay what I did, sitting there underneath her, when she put her breast in my mouth...

Our circumstances ARE different. We ARE different than other couples...right? We can't compare ourselves...I shouldn't feel bad...or weird...or...perverted...

...but I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'm started down a path that leads...somewhere dark. I shudder just thinking of the possibilities. I shudder, but also...my heart starts to race...

This is "normal"?

"Normal" that I'm sitting across the breakfast table, sheepishly sucking on a baby bottle filled with milk my wife pumped just minutes ago in the other room? "Normal" that I feel like a druggie, half-drunk and hard as a rod in my pants as she puts my hat on my head, kisses me with a peck on the cheek goodbye as I ready myself for a drive to work, to continue this charade?

And is it "normal" that I'm feeling mild cramps again, sitting at my desk..?

I can't take it any longer...I've waited long enough. The work day is far from over but the pain, by this time, has become excruciating.

I pick up the phone. I try to sound strong.

"H-Honey..? C-c-can you come p-pick me up?"

After getting all the kitchen dishes done and making sure things are spotless in that room I grab a last cup of coffee and walk toward the window by our kitchen nook, overlooking our backyard...

<sip>

I'm lost in my thoughts...reflecting on recent moments between Ben and myself. I just can't get it out of my head how wonderful it was what I did with him. Somehow, the breastfeeding along with all these maternal feelings have made me feel so complete as a woman. I'm feeling giddy, happy. I know that I shouldn't be given Ben's situation, his state of health.

<sip and then look up to the sky outside>

God, I want to thank you for all you do for me. I am blessed, I know that. I am here answering your call to save my husband. I know you don't want him in heaven. I'm sure of that. I want to believe that you are you working through me in this odd way. To try to save my Ben by breastfeeding him with my milk. But, somehow I'm looking for a sign from you. Tell me that this is your plan. I can feel that it is. I know that you want me to be a vessel of life for poor Ben. But give me a sign.

<sip>

After a morning of doing some wash, I work on straightening out our bedroom, make the bed, cleaning things up. Then I decide to take a bath. After taking off my clothes I decide to look in the full length mirror in the bedroom. I can't help but stare at myself. My I am so damn curvaceous. I love how I look. Marilyn Monroe you've got some competition my dear! Then I grab my huge breasts, admire them. I can't believe that I fed another with these. I rub my areola, then pinch my nipples and smile.

<suddenly the phone rings>

I go to get it...

Ben...
"H-Honey..? C-c-can you come p-pick me up?"

Me...
"Are you all right? What's happening??" I say alarmed.

Ben...
"Its those cramps again, they're back come get me."

Me...
"I'll be there right away."

I hang up the phone and get dressed quickly. My hair is in tatters so I put on a scarf to cover up how it looks, having not gotten into a bath yet. As I walk out the door, I can see the weather change, dark skies, then a bolt of lightening lights up in the sky. I stop and then smile. The phone call. The lightening.

"Thank you Almighty God. Thank you for giving me a sign."

It begins to downpour and I run to the car....

I'm moving, with her help, as fast as I can through the downpour. Trying to spare myself the indignity of having my tall, curvy wife come to my desk to collect me, I forced myself to make it downstairs to the lobby to wait for her. I barely made it. The pain - it's always worst in my legs - made it nearly impossible to walk. And here I am, trying to run.

A rumble of thunder, through the city streets.

She's supporting me, jogging alongside me across the road to where she's parked, but I'm slow and we're both quickly wet. I'm trying to keep a stiff upper lip and not complain, but I know the utter pain on my face is evident and I can't help letting out little yelps of pain with each step. Why is it back so quick, why?!?

Soon we're at her car and she's opening the door for me to let me in. Unceremoniously I slump in, praying there's no one from the office looking out the fourth-floor window at us as she closes the door behind me. We'll have to come back at some point to get my car, but I'll worry about that later. Right now, I just want to get home.

It's not even four o'clock, and it's eerily dark. The storm is right overhead, thunderclouds dumping. Rain pelts the windshield and flies in when she opens the driver's side door to get herself in...

After getting him in the car and now on the road, I try to place m attentions both on the road and Ben at the same time. It's difficult though and the storm is bad, real bad. It is literally raining cats and dogs as the drops are quickly pelting the windshield. Its dark, there's lightning and its unsafe. I need to get off the road.

"Ben, I'm turning off up ahead at 'Mercy Park' - I can't drive in this weather and you're no shape to drive even though I know you are a better driver than me and normally would have no problems in this storm."

I find the entrance to Mercy Park and slowly make my way down the long driveway. Normally, the quarter mile into our town's flagship park is easy, but now it seems like I'm driving five miles.

Finally I make my way past the little guard house and then down the rest of the driveway and pull into the huge parking lot. I find a spot away from any trees, due to the storm. As I pull into the parking spot, ahead of us is a knoll. It is high enough to give a sense of seclusion. Besides, no one seems to be in the park anyway.

I take off my scarf. I unbutton my green dress from the top and loosen it up because it is so wet. It is so wet, that it is sticking to my body tightly showing off all my curves. II take off my white gloves and reach over Ben’s seat and throw them, and the scarf on the back seat.

Then I turn to Ben, who’s grabbing at his stomach and hunched over. I place my hand on his shoulder…
“Darling, I can see the pain is bad. I’m sorry I can’t have us home sooner, but this storm is horrendous and you’re in no shape to drive in it.”

I look out the window, look at the rain, the knoll, then turn back to Ben….
“I’m trying to think here. About your pain. Last night after what we did together, which was wonderful Ben, you were in no pain - none at all. You slept through the night, something you haven’t done in weeks. Then you take take the bottle of medicine and this is the result.”

I'm gritting my teeth through the pain in my legs and now its in my arms and my spine and everywhere. I'm hunched over, miserable, but I know I need to be able to get through the drive, the half-hour or so it'll take in this rain until we're home. There she can pump...and I can have some relief...

I'm groaning. I'm moaning. I'm...I'm looking at her legs, her nyloned knees and calves and ankles. I'm looking at her waist, her hips, how her dress bunches and tapers. I...find I can get through...It makes it easier, I can get through, focusing on her. As she drives, her attention intently focused on the road in the downpour, I'm focusing on her.

I don't want to let her see me, staring, so I keep my eyes down. Just looking at her legs helps so much. But I can't help it, my gaze drifts up once in a while...I steal glances up her torso, looking at her chest in profile. Her green dress is plastered to her, wetly, and goddamn her tits look huge. The air around us is ripe and heavy with the smell of the rain...and the smell of her, the scent of her rising humidly from her, filling the car. God I can focus on that too...I breathe...I breathe...it makes me feel better...or at least takes my mind from the pain...

Minutes go by, she's trying idle chit chat here and there but mostly she's concentrating on seeing through the rain, wipers moving as fast as they can. The rain comes heavier and heavier. But eventually I can see we're in our town, finally, only a few miles from home but...wait...what is she doing??

She's pulling off the road, in the pouring rain.

"H-h-honey..." I ask, suddenly distraught, "wh-wh-where are you going??"

She's pulling off, to wait out the rain. No!! I...I need...I need to get home...I need another treatment...

My head starts to spin. She's stopped the car, in the park. Through the pain I watch her take off her gloves, her head scarf. No, no, no! We have to get home! But she's unbuttoning her top...

"...Last night after what we did together...you were in no pain - none at all..."

Click to expand...

I can't speak, barely...but suddenly I'm realizing what she may be thinking ...no...she can't be...

"H-Honey...pl-pl-please...can we - nnnngh! - try to g-get home..?" I can't believe I'm going to say this but I'm desperate, "...I-I need my bottle..."