My Bakery~ Updates on RPs and a bit of Cynicism

One of my best friends committed suicide so this is a point that irks me when people 'go there', if you will. So I fully agree with you. Plus, I know the signs of suicide and all of that........... Also, it isn't just girls who do this. Nope. Guys are quite capable, I assure you. So, goes to show it does go both ways though it's possible that it might be more skewed towards females who pull this as opposed to males. Glad you reported things though. I'd have done the same thing in your place.

Yeah my brother tried to commit suicide. Thankfully he didn't succeed.

Onto a new mini rant, and it's something that's always bugged me.

As I've mentioned in this thread, I live at home, and my parents have custody of 4 of my sisters kids. My mom was complaining today because our neighbors across the street, an elderly couple, had a conversation with my mom and it went something like this:

Pam: Hey, I wanted to know if Katie could babysit the kids Saturday night so that you and Dale could go to a gospel concert with us (they're really religious...).
Mom: Oh I don't know. Katie's been pretty sick this week. I don't think she'd want to put up with them right now (My mom was using excuses because she didn't want to go. But it is true, I have been sick.)
Pam: She can't even watch them for a few hours?
Mom: Oh you know how the kids can be, especially Ethan. She's been out of it all week, the kids just fight, and they don't even listen to her.
Pam: Oh she can tough it out for one night. She's always going out and doing stuff while you and Dale are stuck at home with the kids.

Okay, this ticks me off for multiple reasons, and its been an issue ever since we first got the kids when I was 14.

1. The kids are not my kids, my parents volunteered to get custody of these kids, so it fucking ticks me off when people pull the I get to do stuff and my parents are left with the kids card. They are my parents kids, not mine. So no, it's not like I'm leaving my parents with my kids. They are my parents responsibility, not mine. I just help them out.

2. Don't you fucking act like you know what I do. I am not always going out and doing stuff. I go to my boyfriend's house and that.is.it. I don't hang out with people outside of school, I don't even have a car, so I don't go anywhere unless its with my boyfriend, which is maybe once a month because we're both hermits who don't have any money, or it's with one of my parents.

3. People here seem to have this view that I am some stubborn bitchy spoiled brat. Like I absolutely refuse to babysit or do anything for my parents. NOT TRUE. I babysit plenty, and if they need a babysitter, they just need to tell me beforehand. But another thing people don't seem to understand is that one of the kids has Aspergers syndrome. And they never fucking take our word when we tell them that he does not do well when he is under my care.

My nephew Ethan views me as an equal since I am my parent's daughter, and he views my parents as his parents. Basically, he views me as a sibling, which in his mind is an equal, even if I am 12 years older than he is. He does not view me as an adult or authority figure and anyone who knows or has a kid with A.S, they do not listen to anyone who they don't view as an adult or authority figure. They just don't. They tend to make their own social rules and standards and they tend to not budge on them, it's part of being an Aspie.

And that is why they often don't force me to babysit him, because he doesn't listen worth shit. I often have to use physical force to stop him from whatever he is doing. For instance, if its like 40 degrees out and raining and he wants to go play in the backyard, and I tell him no. I'd likely have to pick him up and carry him to his room to stop him from going outside. And he's getting to the size where he can put up a fight. He's about 4'10'' now and I'm 5'1''. Only thing I have on him right now is mass.

I'm just tired of people blaming and pointing their fingers at me when it comes to the kids. They don't know what I do or what I go through. Unless they've been with us these past 9 years, they shouldn't be saying shit to me. I've sacrificed as well. I'm not some ungrateful brat who's ditching my kids and leaving them in the hands of my parents.

Hell, when I did have a social life, I would take some of the kids with me when I'd go out. If my friends and I were going to the mall, I'd take 1-2 of the kids. I never asked for this to happen to the kids or my parents and I sure as hell shouldn't be treated like it's my responsibility. I've done a lot for my parents and it pisses me off that everyone around us views me as otherwise.

Time to talk about one of my flaws, and I realize it'll come off as ungrateful.

Okay, so, I am a purse person. I love purses... because I carry a lot of stuff. I am also very particular about anything fashionable. I'm not some fashionista or anything, but I have things I like, things I don't like, and certain fabrics just make me cringe (for instance my mom loves this one particular fabric for sweaters, I can't stand it because my skin is dry and the fabric feels AWFUL against my skin).

Lately I've been on a quest for a purse... I'm looking for about a medium sized purse... something that could carry quite a few things, but not big enough to smuggle a baby in like the one I'm currently carrying. I also want structure because I hate flimsy bags.

I also want a simply bag... nothing loud, or too frilly. No bold colors or patterns. I want something versatile. I'm simple but at the same time, I'm very particular...

I was thinking something like this.

I told my mom that while we're out on black friday I want to stop at Target to get a purse. She then flips over me wanting to buy a purse and then reveals she bought me a purse and tells me to not buy any purses before Christmas.

Not to sound ungrateful but I really really hate it when people buy me fashion related stuff for Christmas. Every year I tell people to not get me stuff like that. Get me ANYTHING but something that you have to wear (except for pajama pants, underwear, and socks, always accept those) or use as an accessory.

I just don't want people to waste their money...

Sometimes I think you enjoy his company much more than mine. Not that I'm having you choose favorites or choose between us. But god damn, he loses his internet for a week and you suddenly don't know what to do with yourself.

"I have no one to talk to."
"I'm bored."
"I don't have any games to play..." (uh, yes you do! You just won't be playing with HIM!)
"We can't play DD" "We can't" "Why?" "Josh isn't here." "So?" "We need his monk." "Matt has a monk." "Yeah but Josh's is more powerful." "So let's help Matt level his... we can play a few lower levels." "idk"

Sometimes I'm tempted to just leave so you can finally go be butt buddies with him. You might as well.

Firstly - I understand the purse thing. I don't have a purse [never really cared for them when I have pockets] but the fashion thing I get. I don't like getting new clothes because I dread knowing if they are going to not fit me. It seriously upsets me when my mother buys me clothes and I have to cross my fingers and pray they will fit. Ugh. Just a nightmare. I'd rather get them myself.

Secondly - Have you talked to your man about this stuff? He seems really boyish and I can understand guys having weird almost obsessive attachments to their best friends but that seems a little...much.

I've tried, but it's like I never get through or he denies it. And I get the whole "Bros before hoes" concept and I realize for many people, there are certain parts of one's life that a best friend can fill that a lover cannot. But ugh...

Like you said, it definitely is a bit much. I feel like the third wheel.

It really makes me scratch my head only because I've never had to deal with it. It's just really, really odd. The only thing I can equivocate it to is when my roommate goes out with her boyfriend pretty much everyday. Makes me feel left out all the time because I don't want to impose but at the same she's my best friend so it's frustrating. >8|

I'm sure every once in awhile wouldn't hurt. But I kind of know that feeling. I hang out with a group of people every day on campus, and they all see each other more often than I see them, and they've all gotten close and they will up and make plans right in front of me. But 2 of them have actually known me for years... makes me wonder if its just me x.x and no so much a lack of familiarity.

And yas for my boyfriend, most would think "Oh, you're just not that into me I guess. Byebye!" But at the same time, he's the polar opposite with his other best friend whom he does know in person. His friend will invite him to the movies, to parties, the bar, etc. And more often than not, he turns him down because he'd 'rather spend time with me.' I don't condone this at all. I'll even go out of my way to invite his friend to do stuff with us, or if I do see him turning down his friend, I will insist that he spend time with his friend.

But then again, it may go online friend > me > best friend D:

That's just awkward. Maybe it's a man/boy crush?

I honestly wouldn't be surprised. He's admitted he wouldn't mind the 3 of us having a threesome. I could probably list millions of people I'd rather fuck than that guy. Even just the thought completely grosses me out. I told him to never bring that up again, ever. I even told him if he's looking for an excuse to fuck with the guy, that's not the way to go and I'd gladly step aside if that's what he wanted.

That's...I don't think I've really heard of a guy suggesting bringing another guy into the fold before unless they were both single and liked double-teaming women.

I think that's his way of "staying in the green zone" without really going out of his way to say, "Hey, maybe I'd like to fuck him."

He reassures he's straight (his friend claims to be bi). But it is getting to the point that I do sometimes think that. Either way, his friendship with the guy gets in the way of our relationship in many ways and all he does is say "Sorry..." glumly... and then does nothing to work with me to fix it. Beginning to wonder why I'm still sticking around. I see such great potential in him. And I know he cares about me and loves me, but again, I sometimes feel like that guy outranks me.

Yeah, if he's acting kind of like a 12 year old, that's a serious problem.

I dunno if seeing potential is a good thing or a bad thing. I'd rather have someone with a head on his shoulders and have the potential for making the relationship progress.

I love the holidays... I love Christmas. There are so many fond memories and nostalgia behind it. I was a kid who was lucky enough to have a nice childhood and a diabetic sweet Christmas every year. But now that I am older and surrounded by kids... I'm starting to see the adult side to it all.

@_@ I don't know how many times I had to yell at my nephew today to keep his little frickin hands off of the boxes.

Me: *spots him reaching in a box pulling out a string of pearls*
Me: Ethan! What did I JUST tell you? Stop digging through the---
Ethan: I'M NOT!!!
Me: Child, you have a box open, your hands are in the box, you are pulling stuff out. You are digging through the box.
Ethan: I just wanted to get these out!
Me: Just sit back and chill kid. I told you to wait until we're done going through these.

Repeat 20 times.

Problem is that with his Aspergers, once his mind is dead set on something, it has to go that way or else he will make your time with him a living hell. We have 3 different sets of Christmas decorations... about 8 boxes, and my mom only wants hers. So if Ethan digs through my sister's or my grandma's and gets attached to the stuff in those boxes, he will not let up on them. Oh the joys of living with a kid with Aspergers.

And then he gets ideas where he thinks stuff should go and how things should be set up. Again, he throws a fit if it doesn't go his way.

To get him out of my hair for a little bit, I told him to go hammer some nails into the banister near the livingroom. I told him to put 7 on the banister leading to the hall to the left because there is less traffic flow that way, and in past years, people have jammed their hips into the nails and it hurts like a bitch. The other banister to the right lead to 2 bedrooms, the main bathroom, and the computer area. So I didn't want nails that way. I turn my back for a little bit and he is hammering nails into the right side because he thinks it's more symmetrical.

Just felt like venting a little. Not mad, just one of those unfortunate dysfunctional truths to those magical family moments.

Who puts presents in the livingroom? I found the purse she got me.

It's ugly >_< its like a little granny knitted purse, and so not the type of purse I like to carry. This is why I tell her to not get me these kinds of things. I carry a lot of stuff in my purse, and this purse just wouldn't work with the stuff I carry D:

She also got me a laptop carrying case that is too small for my laptop D: This is the one I mostly want to tell her about. It's too small! The return period may expire before Christmas.

Am I the only person like this?

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone tries to work around me in the kitchen. Our kitchen has limited counter space, and idealistically, there's only room for 2 people if one person is on one side working at the counter, and the other person is at the stove. Other than that, it can easily get crowded and I hate feeling crowded and having to work around people in the kitchen.

Today I was in the kitchen getting ready to fix myself a sandwich. I was getting everything out to make a ham and cheese sandwich and up comes my dad, getting in the spot on the counter that I was just working at and starts making himself some food. Urgh, I can't stand that! I just threw my stuff back in the fridge and walked away.

So we're having another family predicament.

My sister is currently going through her trial period with CPS. She's got the 2 little ones back from their foster care family (though they are required to spend 1 night with the foster family), and she is caring for them. But we're beginning to suspect that either my sister is still on drugs, or she is perhaps bipolar, or some kind of emotional instability.

Its her, Julius, and the two babies in a house. Julius is a teacher AND he works at Wal Mart. He works to support all of them. My sister however, does not work, she just cares for the babies at home.

The other day my sister flipped her shit, and I mean, she FREAKED THE FUCK OUT at Julius because he's "always working" and she's "always stuck at home with the kids", and while she was screaming at him (and she can scream, I mean top of her lungs screaming), he just left so he could go grade papers. But while he did that, she got some scissors and cut up a bunch of his clothing.

And then of course later on, she acts like nothing ever happened.

He has no idea what to do because he can't just put up with that, but he also can't kick her out because he has little legal right to the kids and he doesn't want her wandering off with them.

He thinks she's bipolar, but he has no idea how to approach the situation. She is easy to piss off, and when she is pissed, she is PISSED. If he asks her to seek professional help, she will most likely refuse. She's already refused before. The only method we could think of, and it might even be worth mentioning to them, but we were thinking of telling her CPS case worker that we suspect she's bi-polar. Could they perhaps require her to seek help and/or get herself medicated.

But this could also very likely be withdrawals from drugs. To which I suggest he look for signs of... inexplicable weight loss, burn marks on the bottom of spoons, being super hyper and happy one minute, and then later acting irrationally angry.

Some things just baffle me.

I have a friend on my friendslist on Facebook who is one of those high horsed "I work hard for my money and everyone else who happens to be worse off than I doesn't work hard" kind of guys.

He is constantly bitching about those who receive government assistance, such as food stamps, health care, welfare, etc. and about how they're just mooches on the country and the government.

But then... when the topic of raising minimum wage (which typically is not a sufficient amount to support one and a family), he gets pissed about that too and goes on about how why should companies have to pay you more if you aren't working any harder.

I could go on and out about how that just isn't right.

And its funny because its coming from a guy who didn't go to college and failed police school.

As our final assignment of the year in my history class, we have to do a group project and have a presentation. We were assigned these group projects the FIRST WEEK of of the semester. So we've had about 3 months to prepare.

My group is me, some black guy named Jason, and a girl names Jamie. Jamie is almost never in class, and when she is, she comes in late, and leaves early. She wasn't there the day we all were supposed to swap contact information so we never got her contact information. Our teacher won't allow us to get up and move around the class or talk to others during lectures, which is every minute of class. Seriously, he starts right on the dot (3:00, when class begins) and he goes right to the absolute last second (4:25).

Weeks ago, Jason and I asked him what we should do because she's almost never in class, and when she is, she isn't there for very long and we needed to get started on it. He gave us her student email, and said there was nothing more we could do. Just keep working on it and unless she contacts us before then, he'll just make a note that she didn't participate.

We just met in class for the last time before our presentation date, and she emailed our teacher FIVE MINUTES BEFORE CLASS BEGAN and said she was "terribly concerned" because we hadn't contacted her and she "can't always be in class" because she "can't always be in 2 places at once" because she has a job.

1. Why did you sign up for a class during your work hours?
2. Why did it take you 3 months and the absolute last day to work on the project to contact us???
3. Why should we include you when we've done all of the work thus far?

I hate group projects just because of THIS reason.

To a certain someone (no one on here):

Just because something good happens in people's life, and they want to share it with people, doesn't mean its bragging or shoving it in your face. I'm sorry you're at low point in life. But just because you're self loathing, doesn't mean the rest of us have to pretend to be and hide positivity because you're an envious child. If someone has been working their ass off and they accomplish a certain goal, they deserve to share it with people. They can still be humble in doing so.

3.78 GPA for the semester which means I made the deans list.

Is it me or are MOBAs starting to take over online multi-player games? x.x It seems like MMOs are dying down in popularity and preference and more and more MOBA games are coming into the spotlight. LoL, DOTA, Smite, Awesomenauts. Personally, I can't stand them :-/ I've never been a fan of pvp in a battle sense. I wouldn't mind if it were something like a tower defense game, but I really hate it when players are fighting against each other, the smaller the numbers the worse it is. A lot of gamers can't keep their cool when playing such games, and a lot of people get cocky and trollish, and god dammit, I just want to play a game, I don't need to see how witty some 16 year old is with his ability to use the word fag...

It just kind of sucks. I'm afraid its going to get to a point where to play online with multiple players, I'm going to be expected to take part in those type of games.

I like games like Terraria, Orcs Must Die 2, Dungeon Defenders, etc. Games where players work together, not against each other.

I'll never be able to wrap my mind around the concept of giving a sexual favor/service to a significant other as a gift.

If you don't like it... don't do it. I'm sure most people would feel a little guilty subjecting their partner to a sexual act they didn't like. But if you're willing to give it as a gift, then that means you're willing... so if it's something they like, why not do it with them more often?

I just don't get that kind of stuff. I can see people who do this being the type who down the line will just lose all interest in sex, except on special occasions.

I remember years ago, I was talking to a friend about what to get my boyfriend for his birthday. She suggested I give him a blow job as a birthday gift. Lol... I guess blow jobs are special occasion things to her.

It's like dangling it over them. People know when it comes to sex... once they get a taste, they want more. So by gifting a sexual act to them, it's like telling them "I'm willing to do this with you... but you're only going to get it once a year."

You know who bugs me? Those lazy cute girls who have guys just wrapped around their finger, and can sway everyones opinions and get them to do stuff for them.

In the club I'm in, there's few girls and one of the officers is a girl. Another girl from Texas. Right now we're having issues because we were planning on taking a trip to a convention in Tennessee, but that failed, and now we have to find another one to go to (the school would prefer we go somewhere closer...).

Right now, our options are Anime Central (Rosemont, IL) and A-Kon (Dallas, TX). Guess who suggested and is pushing for A-Kon? And guess which convention is currently winning in the officer standings?

That's FARTHER than the other convention we were supposed to be going to.

We have to consider rooms, gas, food, travel time, registration.

Anime Central:
Registration (9 people): $477
Rooms (closest hotel): $2,100
Spending Money/Food: $1,750
Gas (average right now): $228 round trip
Travel time: 5 hours (average)
Total costs: $4,555

A-Kon:
Registration (9 people): $405 (rates depend on when you register, they haven't dated the next price raise).
Rooms (closest hotel): $2,220
Spending Money/Food: $1,750 (constant)
Gas: $980
Travel time: 17 1/2 hours
Total costs: $5,355
$800 more...
12 hours longer of a drive...
Smaller convention...
Not to mention this is during the school year. So we gotta make 2 17 hour long drives. Those of us with Thursday or Friday classes will have to miss classes.

And what's her excuse for going to the convention? Because its connected to the convention center. Driving a full day... so we can go to a con with the hotel connected to the convention center. Uh huh... sure. You sure it doesn't have anything to do with the convention being in Texas? And maybe some of your high school friends from Texas will be there?

And of course all of the guys are siding with her.