A Niche in Time

I just wanted to take this time to recognize my partner, DonVoltonus. Our role play, Unearthly Lust is my most viewed role play ever with a view count of 4,762. It has been a pleasure to work with you DonVoltonus. I am so glad you took a chance on me with this role play. There were some concerns because my writing style does tend to be more text with my replies, and I assured Don that I would alright with this style of role playing. Since then, Callie and Sarovir, along with Nadia, have had some memorable times since his capture of his not so always willing alien breeder. She’s a handful, Sarovir is slicker than snot on a doorknob. Having her body altered so that she now feeds from cum, yes folks, cum, she is unaware that Sarovir is slowly addicting to her to his cum. Not only that he’s keeping a very huge piece of her past from her. The part where he ripped her heart out, crushed it, and replaced it with an alien one. Having already dealt with the fall out from that once, he has now had her memory erased and lied to her about why. Bad, bad boy Sarovir. Whatever would happen if she found out? Then of course there’s Nadia, his faithful assistant. A feline with both male an female parts that has already fun with Callie. *blushes* Okay MC feed from a female cat with a pecker. There. I said it. Lol. So Don, here’s hoping that these strange adventures continue, and thank you for one heck of a memorable ride so far. *cheers*

Why do we fight with people? I hate getting angry. I say things I may, or may not, mean. Just fuck it.

Answer that question, and I'm sure we find world peace. Just let the words roll off of you, and keep living life.

I know Sirix, but it was here, in real life. I just got so angry. It's so easy to say let it roll off. My anger just went from 0 to 100 in 60 seconds flat.

I think I owe just about everyone of my rps a reply. My smaller ones will be answered first. They're easy to do. My larger ones? You guys please bear with me. I've got a cold right now, and I have to work today. The cold is kicking my behind too. Runny nose, stuffy nose, trust me it goes back and forth, sore throat, and a cough. Plus there's work. No I'm not staying at home. I'm too stubborn to do that for one thing. Plus I need the hours. I didn't get many last week. Besides I'm still new and thus I'm still in my evaluation stage. You want the job? You prove it. So I'm going in. I even took extra hours Sunday, and I was sick then. So I'll get to my replies when I can. Also, I don't want to write for a rp I'm not inspired to write for. To me, forced writing shows. I don't like to that. I'm not going to say I haven't done it before. I have. I just don't like to. So if you see my reply to a certain rp, but your rp has been waiting for a reply, please don't get upset. The inspiration was there, the feel was there, and there may be other factors you don't know about. Just know this. I value all my partners and my rps. You guys are my friends. So I will get you a reply.

Understood. Feel better soon

Today at work I was accused of something that could not be further from the truth. I don't want to say what it was openly in my journal. There's just no way. I felt so helpless. I couldn't say anything back to this customer. Just please, whenever you go out anywhere, be mindful of what you to say to people who are providing a service to you. If they're smiling, more than willing to help you, being kind, then return that to them.

I am sick of trying to please you. I try, and I try, and I try, and you know what? I have finally gotten it through my thick skull I will NEVER be what you want. So you know what else? I don't care! I'm giving up. Best of luck to you, and I hope everything you do turns out perfect. Then again, to hear the way you talk, it already is.

Do you ever feel like even though you've left the world of high school clicks behind, and you've ventured out into the real world, that the clicks still exist? They've just been replaced in different areas of your life. Your job, and yes even here on BMR, you find yourself feeling like you're on the outside looking in.

Cliques will always continue exists because what some call cliques others simply call social circles and our social circles are simply made up of some types of commonalities. People without those similar commonalities generally are not accepting into one social circle or "clique" and then go off to form one of their own. As social creatures and as societal members who desire to fit into a place within the society, these circles will always continue to exist. You will always be looking in somewhere, but then someone will always be looking into your circle as well.

I'm sorry. I've been rather flaky with replies lately. My partners are more understanding than I deserve. This is so true. A friend of mine does his replies in the order he gets them back in. I should do that as well. Should. I will admit I've my down time lately. I don't mean down as in not rping. I mean down as in blue. I entertained the thought of leaving BMR. I thought I would finish out he rps I have and leave. Even today, at my job I heard a song that reminded me of one of my rps, and I wanted to cry. Not a bad cry. No. A good cry. The rp has touched me. My emotions have been a little wacky lately, an no, I'm not pregnant. I've just been all over the board, but, as strange as it is to say this, I'm feeling better after going to work today. So while my replies may be slow, they are coming. Please keep in mind. I do work in a garden center, in the south, during spring. Enough said. I went from 12 hours a week during training to maxing out it the amount they can give me. I'm exhausted, and I hate, HATE the outdoors. I never....want to garden....ever.

I'm sunburned and tired. My job is kicking my butt. I've been naked all day and in bed or most of it. Question for anybody who reads this. You an post your answer here or PM me. Would you ever send of any of your writing to someone who wasn't a member here at BMR who was married? By your work, yes I mean the smut posts.

Thats a good question Andy. To be honest, I'm not sure I know the answer to it. I mean even people on BMR may or may not be married. Thats part of the nature of the internet and a site like this. Its anonymous to the extent to which an individual desires it to be.

I think sending my work to someone outside would depend on context. Why would I be doing it? Have they asked? Am I doing it as an intellectual exercise, getting their feedback on my work? Or is there some sort of flirtation going on here?

Sorry, that's really just questions instead of answers. But I suppose the short-hand gist of what I'm saying is that context is everything in such a situation.

AndNich123 said:

I'm sunburned and tired. My job is kicking my butt. I've been naked all day and in bed or most of it. Question for anybody who reads this. You an post your answer here or PM me. Would you ever send of any of your writing to someone who wasn't a member here at BMR who was married? By your work, yes I mean the smut posts.

Click to expand...

I have, yes. I am both a married woman on this site, and have sent my smut to a few people outside of the site who I may have had a not so innocent interest in. It's cool I knew nothing was going to come of it, made it easy to justify it in my mind. I still send him smut every now and then, but without the sexual tension context.

First of all, thanks to anyone who gave me their input on the married man question with the email and my work. As of now, I have not sent him anything, and I have not seen him at work either.

Secondly, my interview with the lovely and talented host Gia went beautifully. I thank you for the opportunity to be on her show. It was entertaining, and I hope to have made a new friend.

Thirdly, I have decided to post some of my work here. Some authors post samples of their writing in their journals. So I figured why not.

Acquisitions
There’s that moment, from time to time, where it seems the clock has stopped ticking. While the rest of the world is still turning, going forward as always, the space you occupy stands still. He stood there, looming over her, and for the first time since that fateful night, Andy felt a peace that she thought didn’t exist anymore. There was no need to be afraid. She knew if he was going to kill her, he would have done it already. Instead he mentioned her passport, and he had brought her here. He still planned on taking her to Japan. She knew her destination. She knew he still needed her. Strangely there was comfort in that fact. He needed her, and he was one of few that would believe her. Why shouldn’t he? Her dubbed highly imaginative tale of misery and woe by the press and friends was all due to him. He was not only the cause but the star of her worst fears and nightmares that had made a home in her mind. Even by the light of day, she lived in fear never knowing if he would return, and if he did, what would he do. As she lay there now, restrained to the bed, she knew the answers to all the questions that had plagued her. In that knowledge, she found her comfort.

He moved to begin to undress her, and she wanted to scream, to fight, and to demand he stop, but Andy knew it would be to no avail. Jim had already proven he was a man who got exactly what he wanted. Instead her eyes followed his, watching him intently. She wondered what must be going through his mind as he released her only long enough to pull the material free from her body. She watched his fingers work to free her only to bind her once more. Jim worked quietly, and yet Andy didn’t need him to speak. She knew what his plans were. Why else would he want her naked?

He revealed himself to her, and for the first time, Andy felt close to him. There was no brute force, no threats, no weapons, just the two of them, bared to each other. She felt like he was showing her who he was. He was aroused. That was clear to see. Her eyes swept over his body before settling on his eyes. Neither of them had spoken still. The need for words simply wasn’t there. He moved, his body resting on her own. She grunted slightly, feeling his chest, his ribs, the warmth of his skin, and his cock press against her. Her mouth opened in a slight gasp as his fingers laced into her hair. His hand traveled down her body, and she began to jerk, pulling on her restraints. Her eyes still did not reflect any fear. Even as her fate hung above her head, she was not afraid. He moved, his hips, his hard cock grinding into her.

In as much as she didn’t want to admit it, Andy was growing more excited with each passing second. The more he moved his body towards hers’, the moisture between her legs increased. The raging waves inside her began to still, and she relaxed focusing on his face as he entered her. She could feel him. Words did not exist that could convey what she felt inside. This man had kidnapped her twice, threatened her mother, forced surgery on her, and had sold her to someone in Japan, and even now, she didn’t want him to stop. There was a strange connection between them. He was the man who had caused all her fears, all her sleepless night, and when she was with him, she no longer felt them. There was just calmness, a stillness, which was unmatched. She wanted to keep it. She wanted it to remain. Her voice was low as she spoke the truth she felt deep down inside. “Keep me.”

Okay. This next post, like the one above from Acquisitions, is my most recent posting to the rp it is for. This is one from The Perfect Teacher with Tyr.

Pair up. Two dreaded words to most in high school. She watched with and increasing sense of despair as the guys paired up with each other, and the few girls in the class didn’t even acknowledge her. ‘I won’t have a partner. I’ll have to work with…..” Her thoughts halted as she looked up at him. ‘The teacher. I’ll have to work with Mr. Emerson.’ She gulped. Her feelings had now changed. Pressing her thighs together, she listened to the others as they moved from their desks, moving them along the floor slightly as they were in a rush to complete the task at hand. The sounds of the girls engaging in the usual mindless gossip mixed with the sounds of the guys as they filed in behind them. Still she sat there, her eyes fixed on his. There was no attempt to hide it, nor the slow smile melting on her face. ‘He wants me to work with him. Okay. Teach me.’ Her thighs were still pressed together tightly as she placed her hands flat on the desk. She was aroused already at just the thought of spending time with him, working one and one with him. They would be in close proximity, and she liked that. She would be able to feel him, to smell him, to feel the burn of his gaze as he explained everything to her. The thought of even his clothes touching her skin, the accidental brush of his body to her own, parted her lips as she exhaled slowly.

It was the touch of another male student, bumping her shoulder, that took her from her reverie. “You gotta go change,” he laughed. “You actually have to move to the work area to do that. Trust me. We won’t look. You got nothing to see anyway,” he teased as he moved past her. “I thought you were smart.” She looked after him, her feelings hurt, but he had reminded her of something Mr. Emerson said. She would have to change her clothes, and she did not have on any panties. ‘How am I gonna change my clothes with no panties on? They’ll all see.’ Callie rose and went to the work area, grabbed her coveralls to change into, and looked around at the other students. While the girls had found a place to change into away from the prying eyes of the boys, she knew she couldn’t go there. They already found great pleasure in teasing her with her clothes on. They would be merciless if they found out her current state. She couldn’t wait for them to finish with the small parts closet they were in either. That would take too much time, and it would open her up to more teasing about being shy about her body. Granted she was shy about her body, that was not the reason for her need to change in private today.

Turning around she saw his office, and her hand quickly reached for the doorknob opening the door. Once inside she closed the door and locked it. Feeling safe behind closed doors now, she began to undress. Her fingers worked the buttons on the top part of the dress she had on before she slide it down her arms. The fabric fell, loose, around her ankles leaving her standing there in her bra and nothing else. She began to wonder what it would be like if he was there with her. ‘Would he want to suckle my nipples? Would he want me to suckle his nipples?’ A smile on her face as her fingers lightly grazed her nipples. She could see his face in her mind. He had no idea what he did to her. The teenage fantasy of an older man, a teacher, wanting her. Anyone wanting her would have been enough, but the fact it was him, only made it better. She didn’t feel the romantic roses and a special love song crush the other girls wrote all their notebooks about. It wasn’t the thing hallway chatter and late night phone calls and slumber parties were for. This was so much more, and she was going to consume it all, let it burn bright for as long as Mr. Emerson would fuel the fire.

Well a rp has come to a conclusion. Acquisitions is no more. A good stopping place was found, and it's official. I thank my partner, Victorian_Virtue, for a ride I won't forget. I now have an opening for another rp.

Today I'm off from my job. Honestly I needed it too. Yesterday, at work, I could literally feel the drain. I had zero energy. We all need time to recharge. I've got today and tomorrow to do that. I was feeling so down yesterday at one point, again, I thought about leaving BMR. I constantly doubt my writing. I don't know. I was just having a bad day I guess. Another issue on the home front here in reality world is the married man issue. Oh there is no doubt he wants to play. The thing is....so do I. I mean I know it's wrong. I know he's married, but I find myself, at times, having a hard time saying no. I haven't done anything though. Sure I talk to him, flirt, blah, blah, blah, but I haven't acted on any of those thoughts, feelings, jokes, conversations. I guess I'm a bad person. At work I've also lined myself up to move into a different department. So I've go things going on at work, real life issues, and role plays. I guess yesterday I just got a little bogged down.

One of these days, I'm gonna learn to keep my big mouth shut.

Girlie its just life, the part of it that sucks, and yes we all have those down points. We don't know each other well, but I can assure you I can sense your big heart from all the way on the other side of cyberland. Its easy to flirt and such without commitment. But a married man regardless if he is faithful or not...is just that married...committed to another...so if you happen to fully invest that big heart of yours...you're gonna be in for some 'big' heart ache...but if your strong enough to play without allowing your heart to get involved, then he will be the lucky one. But you know how both sides of this story will end. Your brilliant enough to know. Therefore it is up to you and no one else to make that call.

Recharge my dear...trust me I hardly have time for such things but when I do...Oh its is a lovely feeling. I have been writing for over 27 years and still doubt some of my projects...it is the ying and yang of the creative flow within such souls as ours. I trust you will keep creating amazing rps after your battery has been charged! Just look ahead beatiful girl...life would not be worth living if it was easy.

*hugs and kisses*
Your friend Gia

Thanks Gia. You’re so right. I know it’s not right to get involved with a married man in any way. I know how the story goes. Even if I did manage to keep my heart separate, he’s always going to be with his wife. There is no way this story can end on a happy note. Like you said, “big heart ache.” I don’t want that. If I ever get involved with anyone ever again, I want them to want me as opposed to me being a substitute for their wife. This guy and I work together. Not a whole lot but some. I know it’s not what I need. Will I keep flirting with him? Yeah. I flirt with pretty much everybody though. It’s in my nature. I’ll flirt with you if the mood hits me. Lol.

As for the rps and recharging, *hangs head*, I’m lucky. I do have wonderful partners as well as amazing friends here. I haven’t met anyone here that was really just a bad person or a bad experience. I’ve got my feelings hurt, sure, but who hasn’t? It’s all part of life and rping. I like it when a rp can come to a conclusion. I’ve been lucky enough to have actually done a few of them to that point. I recall finishing one with one partner, and he and I worked on another until real life took him away from rping. I finished one with another partner, and now he and I are working on another one. For every rp that comes to an end, for every partner that I lose, there are so many others out there wanting a good rp. That’s part of the beauty of this place. I have three partners that I miss, truly, deeply, with all I have, and two of them I know are doing quite well. The other one, the one real life intervened with, I worry about. I have so many rps though, other partners, so why does it bother me to lose one? Because they’re friends too. Because they’re good. It’s my own stupid fault for becoming so invested in my characters and the rps, but would they be as much fun if I didn’t? No. I can’t just write about someone in a situation that I have no connection with alongside a person that I don’t care anything about except whether or not they show up to write. I just can’t do it. OOC, being friends, even if we don’t know every littler personal detail, just some sort of connection, has to be there. Make me laugh, talk with me, share stories, tell me about your life, share pictures, meet in real life if possible *blush*, make me wet, something! I have to have some kind of connection. You’re not just some name that shows up with a post every couple of days or so. You’re a partner. You’re a friend. So when a rp is over, the partner is gone, there is a loss, an empty feeling, and I hate it.

There ya go girlie...your upset to loose an RP, creating characters you fall in love with, and if you didn't fall in love with them...then you didn't do a good job writing! Never ever feel it is stupid to invest so much into characters, or feel down when an RP is over, unlike you I never finished any of my rps. There was never closure but I don't regret them never the less. They still haunt my creative conscious, and they still provide me with creative energy. Also you brought to light the special people that create with you here on blue moon. Hence the inspiration for my tag. I have been blessed with the rpers that are no longer with me and the ones I still have. As I read I can sense your appreciation and I can so relate because I am so grateful for the ones I have.

Looks like we are both very lucky girls!

Think of it this way my Nichee...an rp is never really over...the partner may never post to you again in the same reference...but there is never real loss...the characters, the story will always resonate within you, and carry you to your next epic journey with words...and reincarnate into fuller, more vested characters to fall in love with...all over again!

You are so right. We are very lucky girls. The guys, and the two girls, I have worked with have no helped bring to life such amazing stories filled with truly animated characters, but they've also, at least I hope, gotten to fulfill something they wanted as well. Whether is was a need for smut, plot driven drama, or creating a new character, at least they too got something from the experience.

BMR has been a wonderful place to find. I came from rping on sites with limits on what you could say to a site with limits on what you could seek. I found a third site, that was home for a while, where the darker themes were okay. I got lucky one night doing a search for incest rps. I found BMR. Joined the next day, and have been here everyday since then. Completing a few rps has been the highlight of that time here. One character found true love and was married. One character found love with her Master. One character is about to shipped off to Japan.

*raises a glass* So here's to newer rps, friends, and amazing characters and plots being created. May they all be as unforgettable as those that have come before them.

*raises glass* To new rpers, friends and amazing rps...maye we create magic!!!

To late for the party it seems, but *raises glass away*

Oh its never late for a dragon!!