Hyde and Seek [ Chai & Mr Quixotic ]

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

Dim lamps and lights barely seemed to illuminate anything in the large lounge bar, but still they seemed to throw the perfect amount of light and shadow throughout the room. It created a sensual ambiance, one that was paired well with the calm and quiet of the dark; no sound could be heard save for the soft resonance of discordant notes emitting from a grand piano near the far end of the bar. A man sat casually at the piano bench with his arms out behind him to support his weight as he leaned back, his blue-grey eyes alight with confidence and some other, less recognizable emotion. He was young, somewhere in his mid-20s, and was obviously comfortable as he stared at a young woman in front of him. Letting his gaze settle upon her, he took no time searching the body that was clad in a simple, plum-colored but rather revealing dress, and he half-smirked as he finished the visual travel upwards and rested his eyes on her face.

The woman was leaning back against the sleek, black instrument as she sat on the keys, returning the man's dark gaze with one of her own, though the attempt at seduction looked near awkward on her innocent features. The general consensus on her looks was one of attractiveness, yet the sultry haze seemed to disagree with the soft structure, wide chocolate eyes, and almost elfin charm to her face. She brought her hands up to play with the man's shirt collar, running feather-light fingertips across his neck, under his jaw, and down to his collarbone. A tense moment passed between them, and she briefly looked away when she noticed a hint of something other than desire in his eyes... Was he laughing at her? Amusement flickered in and out of his steely orbs, while her own brown eyes portrayed focus and concentration in what she was doing. Although the couple stayed silent, the tension between them was almost tangible in the atmosphere; whether it was positive or negative remained to be seen. Finally, she leaned forward and gently grasped his tie, moving to pull him toward her as she brought her head down to connect her lips with his. But he resisted at the last moment, pausing her advance by catching her slim wrist in one his large hands.

"Lily..."
He whispered her name as something of a warning to get her to stop, though his husky tone and quickened breaths indicated that he was indifferent to her actions, or maybe even encouraging of them.

Changing her course of action, she abandoned the idea of kissing him and instead tilted her head to the side with the intent of nuzzling his neck. As she predicted, it prompted him to let go of her wrist. "Hmm... My name sounds even sexier like that," she replied, in what was supposed to be a playful manner, though the words sounded flat as they were slightly muffled from being said against his neck. Trailing her lips to his jaw, and then to his ear, she nipped the lobe delicately before retreating and standing upright again. "Well?" she asked him, idly ruffling her wavy, honey-brown locks to one side and looking away when his gaze became almost too much to bear again.

Without warning, the man rose to his feet and grasped her hips, the shifting of her weight causing more notes to ring out, and he lifted her onto the lid of the grand piano. Even sitting atop the instrument, her 5'3" frame only allowed her to be eye-level with her male counterpart, whose own tall stature and commanding presence now overshadowed her. He pushed her legs apart just enough as an indication for her to wrap them around him, but instead of taking the cue, the young woman gasped and lifted head in wide-eyed nervousness. She looked momentarily lost for a split-second before attempting to cover up the action by relaxing her body and sighing as she lay back down against the cold black surface. Feeling the man open her legs once more to stand between them, he reached to run his hands up her stomach, across her breasts, and down her sides. In turn, she stiffened again through involuntary reaction, though she arched her back up and tried to focus on how the touching felt; how the warmness of his hands felt as they slid up and down her body. She lay still, breathing heavily as he began to slip one dress strap down her left arm, revealing the partial view of a black, lacy bra underneath.

He paused then, as if waiting for something, and she opened her eyes to give him a quizzical glance. After a second of embarrassing silence, it registered that he had been waiting on her.

Fuck, she cursed herself. How could she be so stupid?

Immediately following the silence was a loud male voice coming from the opposite end of the room.
"CUT!" The voice boomed, disappointment and exasperation clear in the one word. A sigh sounded, and then, "Everybody take ten."

Bright lights flashed on while others turned off, and cameras that had been stationed by the piano were rolled away. Taking a moment to adjust her eyes to the new light, actress Katrina Ellis Binetti detangled herself from her partner's arms and walked over to a small table where a container of food labeled 'for Kat Ellis' had gone cold over the course of the evening. Beside it was a bottle of Veen - Finnish water that cost an astonishing twenty-three dollars per bottle - which indicated that no expense had been spared to make her feel comfortable while filming. Guiltily, she stared at her professional name scrawled out in Sharpie marker on the top of the plastic box, knowing that it was a name people sought to keep happy, as well as a name that came with high expectations. Expectations she hadn't met. The 21 year-old frowned, not for the first time that night, as she thought upon the piano scene that happened just minutes earlier. Scenes like that were usually shot one or twice so the chemistry between the couple displayed the most passion, but unfortunately Katrina hadn't gotten it then, and here she was on the seventh take, still missing the mark. For the last couple hours of the night, the whole team had been filming and re-filming that one particular scene because she couldn't seem to get into the intimacy of it all. Did she even want to get into a sex scene? It wasn't even like it was real - it never was - and being her first experience sexual themes in film, it was expected to be a little rough. But what she hadn't expected was the inability to deliver even barely mediocre acting, not just for the piano scene but for all the other attempted sexual sequences. It had thrown the filming schedule off by a couple days, but in the world of the entertainment industry, that meant eons of wasted time and money.

The worst part was that even she knew when she had done something wrong, but it had become increasingly difficult to correct the mistakes when all the advice given by her acting coach didn't help her in any way. If anything, it may have even proven to be detrimental to her cause, seeing as she even forgot her line at the end of that last take. The error was a large one; forgetting lines was such an amateur mistake, especially for actresses of her caliber. As young as she was, Katrina had earned the title of being A-list in her own right through work in several projects as a child actress, all rising to the largest peak in her career thus far when, in just the past year, she was nominated for various accolades for her work in the musical film adaptation of Wicked. Among them was a prestigious nomination for Best Actress at the Academy Awards, and though she hadn't won, it only strengthened her love for the craft. She prided herself in her reputation of striving for perfection, but with what had been recently going on, it might have been easy for anyone to believe that this was her first acting job.

She was still mulling over depressing thoughts of failure when Renier Bryant, the co-lead in the film, approached the table. He eyed her for a moment, making an open judgement before tossing down her copy of the film script. The thick document fell with a thud, and he simply said, "Here you are, Kitty Kat. Read over the lines one more time, will you? Not sure if you were aware or not, but this bar inside the Beverly Wilshire Hotel - yes, this very one we're standing in - is an expensive location. Any wasted time here equates to wasted money." He promptly walked away, unashamed and unapologetic for his harsh words.

Katrina only nodded, still hung up on his use of 'Kitty Kat.' Co-workers usually made use of it as a silly name of endearment, but coming from Renier, it was a way for him to express how immature and inexperienced he thought she was. A part of her wanted to combat his assumptions with fighting words of her own, but she couldn't blame him. First off, almost everyone she had worked with had at one point made use of the nickname, and no one in the entertainment industry called her Katrina. How could she complain over something that everyone else did as well? Second, there was nothing she could say in retaliation to his comments about her mistakes. She couldn't deny or defend them, and the more she thought about them, the more irate she became. Opening the script and paging through it, she scanned over numerous notes written in the margins and read through both roles she was responsible for, ultimately ending up staring at the name 'Lily Hyde.' It stuck out like a sore thumb on the page, though that was mostly because the name was like an omen for her; a constant reminder of a glaring error in her acting ability. Pulling a pen from her bag, she began writing a list of everything that had gone wrong. After all, an actress was only as good as her poorest role, and she would accept nothing from herself that was short of perfection.

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

Had he made the wrong choice?

Michael Rodriguez asked himself that question as the scene at the piano played out. Not for the first time, however the difference between this time and the others, was that he now believed he answer to be yes.

Hyde and Seek was meant to be the breakout film for Katrina Ellis Binetti, or Kat Ellis, as she was to be first-billed on the opening credits, and was the name already prominently displayed on publicity posters; her transition from ex-child and teen star to full on adult idol, and darling of the critics. Sure, Kat thought she'd already made it with an Academy Award nomination, but to Michael, that meant little. The Oscars were nothing but a popularity contest, and nominations paid for by those film companies who had the largest marketing budgets. It didn't mean you could act.

In Michael's opinion, to be taken seriously, and regarded as great, you were required to display raw passion, and bare your soul for the audience; to allow them to see you naked, both figuratively and literally, and to make the viewers forget that what they were watching was not real. That's where the thirty-three year old director had made his reputation; as one who had an eye for talent, and who drew the best performances of their lives from his cast. Performances even they didn't know they were capable of.

He'd never regretted one single casting decision. Until now, and on his most important film to date. Michael had begged and pleaded for financing, and it had taken two years to convince one of the major studios to agree to fund Hyde and Seek, without him being required to sign away his creative soul. Finally, he had the budget to make the provocative, disturbing film he'd always want to shoot - one about raw sexual desire, and the fall of an innocent young woman into darkness and depravity - and complete discretion over the final cut. It was to be his Magnum Opus. And Katrina Ellis was fucking it up.

Although intended to be uninhibited in its portrayal of sexuality, Hyde and Seek was not to be a pornographic film, or one made purely for titillation and box office receipts, where the acting was secondary. It was a film to be driven by the performances, where the naturalness and believability of the characters on the screen was of the up-most importance. Only when the audience could empathise and identify with those they were watching - to forget that these people were not real, that their fears and desires were fiction -, would the movie be able to shock and disturb the audience in the manner Michael craved for it to do. He wanted Hyde and Seek to be burned into their memories forever, and in Katrina, thought he'd found the perfect actress to help him achieve that goal.

A young woman with the precise combination of beauty, innocence and sensuality Michael had envisaged when he'd first conceived of the story, she'd come with a great resume, and had charmed and wowed all at auditions. More importantly, though the explicitness of the sex scenes she'd be contractually obliged to participate in had been underplayed, Kat had shown no hesitation at the thought of baring all for the camera, or voiced any concerns about the provocative sexuality her characters would be required to display.

It was his fault. Michael should have filmed her being fucked on the casting couch, or at least demanded she strip and spread her legs for the crew before he'd offered the role, to ensure she wasn't some frigid virgin. Because as he was discovering, once under the glare of the lights, with camera's rolling, and eyes of cast and crew upon her, Katrina Ellis was capable of displaying about as much natural heat and passion as a Department Store mannequin, and her lines - when remembered at all - were delivered with the same authority. Why hadn't somebody warned him about this?

Michael Rodriguez removed his head from his hands, dragged his gaze away from the pathetic scene taking place at the piano - it was like watching a train wreck - and stood from his chair.

"CUT! Everyone take ten."

Although a man of only average stature - he stood six foot one, with shaggy, shoulder length, light-brown hair which fell almost to his shoulders, an aquiline nose, strong, determined jaw, and a body kept slim and taut by a regular morning exercise routine, and even more regular stress - the volume of his voice belied his size. Thanks to elocution lessons taken before he'd given up his own dreams of acting, and instead turned to directing, the man didn't require the assistance of a loud-hailer. The cast and crew froze, then turned their attention to the Director.

"OUT, OUT. OUT. NOW". Michael waved his arms, and shot daggers with his eyes, until after no more than a few seconds had elapsed, only three remained in the in the bar of the luxurious Beverly Wilshire hotel. Michael, Katrina, and her Co-lead Renier Bryant, the man Kat Ellis had just attempted to seduce with as much subtlety and finesse as a fifteen year old school-girl with a crush on her teacher. Michael sighed, and began to approach. A mirthless smile crossed his lips at Renier's words to Kitty-Kat; obviously he wasn't the only one who'd had enough.

"Where'd you get this girl, fucking amateur hour?" Renier turned his back on Kat and spoke to the Director, in a voice intended to be loud enough for her to hear, as he walked out, and Michael approached the actress. The Director came to a halt a foot in front of Kat, cocked an eyebrow, folded his arms across his chest, and locked his gaze on her face. It took almost a minute before he'd calmed enough to open his mouth. "Renier's right, do you know how much this location is costing us? Five thousand dollars a fucking day, and you're not even required to remove your clothes. Last time I asked for that.......".

Michael left the rest of the sentence unspoken. How could she not remember? He hadn't made a huge fuss over it at the time, but still, they'd had had to abandon the shoot, and move on to another scene, and his voice began to raise as he recalled the problems and extra expense that had created. His funding wasn't unlimited, and it hadn't even been a damn sex scene. "This isn't the first time, what else can I fucking do Kat? I change the script, I change locations, I change the filming order, I ask all non-essential cast and crew to leave to make you feel comfortable, and what do you give me? I pay $5,000 dollars a fucking day, so that we can shoot a scene that requires just a little passion, a little heat, a little acting ability, and what do you fucking give me?"

"YOU GIVE ME SHIT." The Director screamed in her face as his hand shot out to rip the script from Katrina's grasp, and he threw the papers to the floor. He stomped on them with his Doc Marten's, and didn't stop until the pages had torn apart, and were scattered across the floor. By the time he was done, Michael was panting with the exertion, and his pupils, narrowed with fury, bore into Katrina. He stomped once more, then lifted his hands, ripped at his hair with his fingers, and took a deep breath to compose himself.

"Leave." Michael's tone had softened to one of resignation. He took a step back, and motioned to the door the cast and crew had walked out of only moments ago. "Don't worry, we'll pay out your contract. It will be cheaper than leasing this bar for the next three months, which is how long it will take before we get a cut that's even worth editing out of the film. I mean it Kat, if you're only here for the pay-cheque, and to get your picture in the magazines, I don't want you. You're wasting my fucking time. I need someone with passion and fire. Someone who can be Lily".

The decision had been made. "Go. We'll find a real actress."

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

• 
  [*]Forgot line!!!
  [*]Body too stiff
  [*]No sexual energy (???)

Katrina's list was written neatly in the left margin of the piano scene, among several other lists and notes she had placed during the past few days of filming. It was a habit she had picked up during her time at acting workshops and even through her stage performing. To most people, these lists were tools to help them adjust their acting so they might perform better, but to Katrina, they were just words describing failure. In that regard they also motivated her to perform better, but her only real reason for keeping them was that she pined for the day when she wouldn't have to make a list at all; the day when she finally perfected the art of acting to where the director would find no fault in her performance.

But it wasn't today. In fact, it was very far from today.

At Renier's words, her fingers gripped the pen so tightly that the knuckles of her middle and forefinger turned white, and a pink flush crept over her cheeks in embarrassment or anger - or quite possibly both - as his words sunk in. What? Who was he to call her an amateur? Her most recent film was bigger than his entire career, and she speculated that the only reason he was even cast for "Hyde and Seek" was because production wanted a relatively unknown actor to portray the male lead. Maybe they wanted him so they wouldn't have to deal with another large price tag that came with a famous name. Maybe he was there not because he was talented, but because he was cheap... With those thoughts, Katrina nursed the wound that still seemed to sting her ego even after Renier was long gone from the room, and within moments the malicious thoughts fled her mind and were replaced with shame and regret.

Had her mother taught her nothing? Loss of control over the emotions, including anger, was the perfect way to display a lack of professionalism, and it was arguably detrimental to her career. Acting was about understanding emotions and portraying them accurately so as to manipulate the situation around you; losing oneself in the emotions was a silly notion that only young actors followed, and Katrina's mother had done well to make sure her daughter understood that control was to be exercised in all areas of life. The actress took a deep breath to compose herself and to erase any lingering ill thoughts about Renier, and with the irrational anger gone, she added another item to her list:

• 
  [*]Amateur acting

It was only then that she noticed the director standing before her, and a nervous laugh escaped her lips. She looked away to the floor, to the side, to a stray hair off his head... Anywhere but his eyes. For the first time, she tasted how uncomfortable it was to face a boss after a long string of failures. Should she say something? Should she apologize? There was only one reason to talk to her alone, and it was because of the poor performance she had been giving him lately. There was no escaping that talk, and once Michael opened his mouth, it was more than enough confirmation to see where their conversation was headed. Katrina kept her head up throughout the entire ordeal, listening attentively and nodding her head in agreement. No matter how deep the words cut her, it was important not to fight him. Arguing was likely going to cause her to lose her job, and more importantly, it was another display of unneeded emotion. She was about to answer his question when he snatched her script, startling her to the point that he was able to elicit a small squeak of surprise from the girl as he forcefully grabbed the stack of papers.

NO! she wanted to shout as Michael destroyed months' worth of notes under his boots. The girl could do nothing but stare as he went 0 to 100, his anger finally spiking up to an explosive climax that resulted in a storm of torn papers strewn about the bar. Her mind couldn't, and didn't, process the scene in front of her as just a script lying in shreds before her eyes. It was symbolic of her role in his project; it was a show of what he was likely to do to her if she didn't straighten up. Thankfully he had expressed patience in letting her get accustomed to the nature of such a dark film... but would he do so now? He had to, right? This was her first explicitly adult role, and she remembered how enthusiastic he was when she received the phone call about his casting decision. Yes, she reassured herself, there was no possible way he was going to —

"Leave."

Michael's voice brought her mind back to the present, and her eyes met his for the first time during the entire conversation, her brows furrowed together in slight confusion. What?

"Go. We'll find a real actress."

Oh, god. The room seemed to spin, and Katrina's panicked eyes searched the male pair for something that indicated he wasn't being serious. Oh, but he was, and he was all steely determination as he gestured for her to leave. If she thought Renier had been harsh, this feeling was a thousand times worse and caused a myriad of emotions to flit across her face, the most prominent being fear, defeat, and - surprisingly - outrage at his decision. She kept her reactions mostly to herself, letting on that she was upset and perhaps disappointed, but in truth she was hurt and fucking livid at his assumptions. It was an intense combination of emotions that she hadn't ever felt before and it easily overpowered her, slipping out little by little as she stood and prepared to speak.

"I understand completely," she started, "And I understand that I am at fault here, but it's not like I'm not trying for you. I want this film to be a success just as much as you do, I truly do. I appreciate everything you've done for me, how comfortable you've made this experience for me, how the crew so kindly supplies me with expensive bottles of Finnish water. It's great, it really is, and I'm grateful for all of that." Katrina absentmindedly ran her hands through her wavy chestnut locks as her chocolate eyes locked onto Michael's; the anger was fueling a bold nature she hadn't displayed before, a fierce and fiery side of her that was normally covered by obedience and timidity.

"I may have issues connecting with Lily's character, but if there's one thing I'm not, it's a fame-whore," she snapped at him. "If I really wanted my picture to be everywhere, I would have pursued modeling, not acting... But as an actress, it's my job to be honest with you. And honestly, the reason I have trouble grasping Lily's essence is because I've never portrayed a character so free in her sexuality - which you already know - but deeper than that, I'm not used to having to rely on so much impromptu reaction, especially when Renier changes what he does almost every fucking take. The loss of control over what's happening can be... disorienting for me, which I'm sure is obvious on camera." Although she kept the same hard tone to her voice, her eyes softened in such a way that it was obvious that particular issue wasn't just about her co-star, but a deeper problem that likely haunted her just as much as it frustrated her.

"But the point is, I'm willing to learn. I want to learn, and I hope you take that into consideration when making a decision like this. But I guess since I'm so damn dispassionate and emotionless, your mind has already been made up. I'd like to thank you for your time and this opportunity, and I wish you, Renier, and the production team all the best."

Katrina collected her belongings and strode past the director, her high heels and the recent use of muted sarcasm reserving whatever dignity she had left after being dismissed from the set. Outside the door, she was met with nervous glances and a few sympathetic smiles; it was clear most of the cast and crew knew what transpired within the bar, but she had no time to collect pity from them. What she wanted to do was go straight to her suite and collapse on the bed as the emotional outburst left her feeling strangely exhausted, but instead she stopped at one of the nearby seating areas to compose herself. Responding to Michael like that probably hadn't been the best idea, and now that the anger has subsided, she actually felt mortified at what she had done. If she was lucky, word about the flare of anger wouldn't reach TMZ or any other entertainment tabloid, and she didn't doubt for second that it would likely reach public ears within a few days. Sighing, she whipped out her phone and began searching through her contacts; she would have to notify her manager to search for new projects and her PR team for damage control. It was going to be a long night.

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

The Director, like many in the creative fields was a temperamental man, quick to anger, and to speak his mind without a filter. However, the fury directed at the young actress was not solely a result of losing his composure; the performance was also partly deliberate and pre-planned. Michael's Father, now retired, had gained relative fame as an investigative reporter, feared for his interview techniques, and his greatest teaching to Michael was that everyone was unique, and you needed to be able to discern which method of communication would be most effective with a particular individual.

Some required respect and deference to be shown, and to be allowed to believe they were in control, some needed to be cajoled and encouraged, others bullied and threatened, whilst yet others required a guiding hand, and a gentle but firm display of dominance. Michael had used that teaching to great effect in his directing career, and in a way, he was a chameleon; able to change his method of delivery according to the personality he dealt with, and what he desired to achieve. It was how he drew the performances of their lives from his stars. Michael didn't care if the cast or crew despised him, as long he obtained the desired result, and he rarely got it wrong. Kat Ellis was one of the exceptions.

Michael had assumed from the audition, and throughout the initial weeks of filming, that Kat's bright personality and natural sexuality would shine through on celluloid with no more than a little encouragement and praise. Consequently, that was what he'd requested from those involved in the filming - save for Renier, which was a separate matter entirely -, but he hadn't counted on the fact that Kat was also a chameleon, or at least seemed to be when placed in front of a camera. The strategy he'd entered with was the wrong one.

The previous night in the editing suite Michael had found barely a minute of footage that he deemed suitable to be considered for inclusion in the film. Kat's performance when projected upon the large, white screen came across as even more controlled, stiff and insipid, than it had even during the live shoot. It was after he'd ripped the spool of film from the machine, and thrown it to the cutting room floor, that Michael decided enough was enough. No longer would he continue to pander to the young actress by initiating location and scene changes to make her feel comfortable, or have the cast and crew declare how wonderful and talented she was - comments she'd she'd most likely heard her entire life, and believed to be true. Not any more. It was time to fire a rocket up the girls ass. Something unexpected, and possibly cruel, which would hopefully shatter Kat's composure long enough for him to be able to secure a glimpse of the woman underneath. If he could draw some true emotion from Kat, even if only off-screen, he'd then able to ascertain if she was capable of delivering the performance required to portray Lily, and worth persevering with.

The destruction of the script, with the sounds of the papers being ripped apart amplified by the heavy stomps of his boot on the floor, was part of the performance. It was designed to get her off balance, as well as to take away the comfort of her notes. The ones he'd sarcastically begun to refer to, out of Kat's earshot, as her security blanket. Did she really think writing it down was going to help? Acting wasn't a profession which could be learned by rote or repetition. It was a god-given talent possessed by few, and one which seemed to become more rare by the day. Acting was no longer an art, as it used to be, but a popularity contest, where the students graduated from drama school; all good-looks, gleaming white teeth, and cute dimples; as if they'd all fallen off the same assembly line. Everything was theory, control and uniformity, where the display of personality or individuality was frowned upon, and to ad-lib was heresy. Michael blamed not only the instructors but Hollywood itself. Fucking CGI, and pandering to teenagers. Where were the Brando's, the DeNiro's, the Streep's and Barrymore's, great actors one and all, who immersed themselves in their roles, and brought a presence to the screen. These days the kids were taught, supposedly, how to act, but they didn't have any fucking character, and that was what Michael required if Hyde and Seek was to be the success he dreamed of.

As he finished, his breathing heavy, and face red, he looked to Kat to gauge her reaction. The order for her to leave came out without thought. As the Director had torn apart the pages, his frustration with the young actress increased, as did the anger inside him, and he blurted it out. Immediately the words slipped from his mouth, he felt a pang of regret. And a sense of fear. Not for the decision itself, but for the trouble it could cause. Michael may have been granted the funding and creative control, but that didn't mean if he lost his major actress within the first month, the studio wouldn't be breathing down his neck, or attempting to exert subtle pressure in regards to the film. They had a lot of money at stake, and had banked on this film turning Kat Ellis into a worldwide phenomenon who could be milked for cash for the next decade. Rodriguez had heard many stories about what 'subtle' pressure meant for the Hollywood big-wigs, and he was but a small fish in a very large pond. He'd have no chance. He was about to retract the words, when Kat began to speak, and Michael resolved to worry about it later. Hopefully the threat would bring out a little passion, and give her something to think about.

The anger dissipating, Michael rubbed his eyes, red from lack of sleep, and folded his arms across his chest and waited for Kat's response. He almost lost it again, and had to refrain from screaming in frustration as she responded with nothing but calmness, and agreed with what he had said, before starting in with her excuses. Michael didn't give a shit about it being her first 'adult role'. So what, she was a fucking adult, wasn't she? And the fact that she hadn't been exposed in that manner in her previous roles was one of the very reasons she'd been chosen. Many people would attend the film solely because of her name, without any knowledge of the content, and having them watch the sweet, nice, young and seemingly innocent Oscar nominee strip naked, and willingly partake in an ever increasing smorgasbord of sexual depravity would only add to the shock factor, and word of mouth buzz. It could be their daughter.

He maintained eye contact with the young woman, and his lips curled into a mirthless smile at the comment about Renier. Little did she know that the actor had been following his directions; improvising during takes so that each would be slightly different from the last. Michael had hoped it would force Kat to do the same, and she'd forget about performing 'exactly' what was written in the script. Also, whilst the film required the co-leads to be lovers, it did not require them to be friends - far from it - and Michael desired to create a natural off-screen tension between them, which would flow into the portrayal of their characters.

The Director's annoyance grew, as did his agitation. His eyes burned into hers, and his foot impatiently tapped the floor. The last thing he was searching for was an apology, or for Kat to accept his criticisms, and her impromptu firing, without a fight. He wanted her scream and yell, and tell him that he was wrong. He wanted to see in her demeanour, and hear in her pleas, how much she desired the role, and what it meant to her. What acting meant to her. If he'd been placed next to a wall, he would have banged his head against it. Instead, he sighed, and began to lift his hand to motion for her to stop. However, before he could raise it, Kat's tone changed, and Michael stilled. Finally, there it was. The spark of life and passion he'd been searching for. Unfortunately, it disappeared as it quickly as it had come, and Michael stepped aside when she collected her belongings, and spoke only two words to her retreating back. "Goodbye Kat"

******************************

"Michael, what are you doing?"

The Director had closed his eyes, and was running Kat's last comments through his mind - was it enough, could he bring more of that out of her? - when the angry voice rang in his ears. His eyes flew open, and rolled at the sight of Hannah Davis; his diminutive, bespectacled gray-haired, fifty year old casting director; walking towards him. She had the look of an angry mother about to discipline her child for being a naughty boy.

Rodriguez held up a palm to stop her, and sighed. "She just needed some motivating. Don't worry, I'll work it out. Why the fuck did you cast Kat Ellis anyway"

As if a red rag had been waved in front of a bull, Hannah scurried forward, and stopped a foot in front of Michael. For a petite woman, she had a large voice, and the scowl on her face would have turned small animals to stone. She slapped his shoulder hard enough for it to hurt. "Don't you blame me, Michael. Both of us made the decision, and you know why. Because the girl has talent. I know it, you know it. I've done my job, now you do yours. Without Kat Ellis, you haven't got a film, so get that performance out of that she's capable of. Any way you can. Isn't that what you pride yourself on, Mr Big-Shot fucking Director?" This is why Michael loved her, she'd been his casting director on every one of his films, and was the only who'd dare speak to him in the manner she just had. Hannah was his sounding board, and a woman he greatly respected. "And you'd better speak to her quickly, because if news gets out that we're having trouble on set, the studio's going to be all over you like flies on shit. They'll be watching your every move, and questioning any decision you make."

Michael opened his mouth to respond, but by the time he'd thought of what to say, the woman had turned and stalked to the exit without a backward glance. The Director watched her disappear into the crowd milling in the corridor outside, cupped his head in hands, muttered a few swear words, then took a deep breath and followed her.

Once in the corridor, he waved at the crew. "Show's over for the day. Go home. We'll resume tomorrow at 7am." He almost burst a few eardrums as he then stood on tip-toes in an attempt to locate his young lead actress, and screamed at the top of his voice. "Kat, get back here." Michael continued to scream her name as he walked down the corridor, and hoped that she hadn't yet departed the building. He and Kat were going to have a heart to heart, and one way or another he'd discover just how much fire she had in the belly.

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

"What do you mean, he fired you and you just walked away?" Scooter Myles's voice came through the speaker, clearly agitated and annoyed at the phone call. Kat suspected she had interrupted her manager's personal time, which often consisted of an evening massage while he looked over the next day's schedule.

"What I mean is, I was dismissed from set and so I left," she explained for the fourth or fifth time. "Hence why I'm calling you about the need to find other projects. Wasn't there that one comedy-drama...? I could pick that up. And if anything, I've been getting pressure to venture into music because of Wicked. It'll be risk, but I don't think it'd be so bad." Ouch. Her options were limited, and she knew the other film wouldn't pay as much as Hyde and Seek. If she wanted to, she could have gone into music from the start of her career, but it never interested her as much as acting did. Her options were really limited.

"No, no, no, NO. I really don't care if you were dismissed or not. You should have been begging Michael Rodriguez to keep you. You're not the only one this decision affects. Some of us have to find a way to eat, you know."

Kat almost smiled. Scooter had the tendency to exaggerate, especially when he was upset, and seeing as his agent's income came from a percentage of hers, as well as couple other young actors and actresses, she was tempted to remind him that he easily made $500,000 off her alone within the past year. Movies, commercials, the occasional photo shoot here and there... He was good at his job, and he genuinely cared for her career despite being a little money hungry. "Scooter, we'll figure something out. I promise. It's just a minor setback, but we'll push through." It was a large setback, but optimism was often her drug of choice during the hard times.

"Kat, I negotiated an 8 million dollar contract for you. For this movie. If you quit, that says something about me, as an agent. You're not quitting. Convince him to keep you, any way possible. If he still doesn't want you, we'll go from there, but this is the end of our discussion."

A second later the line went dead, and Katrina set her iPhone in her lap, taking some time to massage her temples. Scooter's reaction had been more or less the same as her publicist and mother, all telling her to get her act together and finish out the contract. Dear mother had been especially harsh, berating her for letting anger get the best of her, and for causing the issue in the first place by not being able to act correctly. Or at least, to Michael's desires. The words still echoed in her ears, long after their conversation was over.

"Did I raise you to be stupid? What's wrong with you? Go and apologize to the director and ask him for your job back. If it hadn't been for your mistakes, you wouldn't be in this mess anyway. I wouldn't have made such a mistake. Had it been me, I would have showed him exactly why he cast me in the first place. You need this, Katrina. I don't want anymore disappointments, especially following last season's Academy Awards failure . . . Trying isn't good enough. You either do it or don't. If I had the discipline at your age to discern between the two, I'm sure you can find it somewhere in that head of yours... Don't you dare cry to me. You got yourself in this shit-hole, so now you get yourself out."

At the time, Katrina wanted to cry, but now, as she sat with her head in her hands, she knew that crying would only be another source of unneeded exhaustion. Right now, she would need to think of a plan to get back on Michael Rodriguez's good side, and she doubted she could butter him up with her bright smile and natural flattery that often worked with other directors. How did one even beg for a job back anyway? Was she supposed to waltz in and proclaim her stupidity, all the while getting down on her knees to praise his directing genius? Or maybe a simple apology would suffice, with teary eyes and a promise to put a hundred and ten percent into the film. She shook her head; it was an odd concept to be apologizing for a lack of ability... this would be her first, and hopefully last, time doing something like this. Well, there was no sense in dwelling on all the possible ways she could mess up an apology, so she stood and stretched her tired limbs, beginning the walk back to the set. If she was lucky, Michael would still be there.

"Kitty-Kat. Kat!" Renier's voice drifted over the light hum of conversation in the corridor, and she looked up to see him striding towards her. He wore the same half-smirk that he always did, and he jabbed a finger in her direction. "Are you deaf? Rodriguez has been calling for you, and I think you better get over there before he renders all our eardrums broken. The man can yell like a motherfu...." The expletive faded off his tongue and his voice lowered to a mutter as he wandered away, leaving her own eyes to drift through the dissipating crowd in search for the tall director. Finally she heard his booming scream before she spotted him, and relief flooded her chest.

"Yes?" Katrina shuffled over as fast as her heels would allow, almost cursing as she stumbled on her way over. "I would have been here sooner, but I was in a phone call with Myles -- you know how he can be. Anyway, you were calling for me? If this about my behavior earlier, I completely understand, and you have my most sincere apologies. I shouldn't have disrespected you like that, and if you'll have me, I'd like to continue working on Hyde and Seek. I know apologies don't really mean much coming from someone who's given you failure time after time, but I'd love to know if there was any way we could work this out..."

The girl was rambling at this point, everything just rushing out in a blur of sounds, but Michael wasn't responding. Why wasn't he responding? Awkward. "Is that alright or...?"

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

Michael shoved his way through the crowd, some of whom had stopped to question him. The conversation in the bar would have been overheard, and they were curious about what he intended to do next. Had Kat truly been fired? Surely not, the director was just making a point, wasn't he? Some had seen her exit the room with phone to ear, but as far as they could see, she didn't appear to look particularly upset, or to display the emotion of one who had just lost her extremely lucrative job. But then, that was Kat; they hadn't seen her express much emotion at any time during the shoot, either in character, or out. Unlike the Director, who pushed away hands, barged through those too slow to move out of the way, ordered them in no uncertain terms to leave, and continued to search for Katrina. Hannah Davis was on the same mission, and as he noted her diminutive frame ahead of him, she suddenly stopped, looked straight at him, and inclined her head to the left, Michael followed the motion and spotted....Renier.

A half smirk played across the man's lips - the guy was a bit of an asshole really - as he approached the director, and Michael called Kat's name. As his hands dropped from his lips, and Renier passed to allow an unobstructed view, there she was. The cast and crew had by now departed, except for the male co-lead who had paused to view the confrontation between actress and director, however he soon followed. A furious glare from Michael had him scurrying for the exit, and when the door slammed shut behind him, only three remained; the Director, Hannah - who'd pressed herself against a wall, and was barely visible-; and the young actress, who'd reached Michael, and was gibbering nonsense.

Michael raised an eyebrow. All he heard was 'blah, blah, blah, you were right, I was wrong', and a truckload of apologetic bullshit spewing from her mouth. The sentiments might have been correct, but to Michael's ears, the manner in which they were uttered could not have done more to increase his agitation and annoyance. He attempted to not roll his eyes, and glanced towards Hannah. They communicated without words; Michael was about to explode - or to at least appear to -, and he asked for her not to intervene. He waited for the woman to acknowledge him with a brief nod, then pulled his focus back to the still rambling young actress.

Michael deliberately remained silent until she eventually paused for breath. "You know what disrespects me, Kat?" He spoke slowly and emphasised each word as he moved closer, until their bodies almost touched, and he towered over her. "Your pathetic acting, and your even more pathetic apologies." One of Michael's hands reached out to grip Kat's elbow, and he roughly jerked her arm up, at the same time as his head dipped down, and he shoved his face right in hers. "I don't want to hear sorry one more fucking time. Instead, what I'd like is for you to do your damn job; the one you're being paid eight millions for. If you're haven't the ability or the professionalism to be able to do that, then admit it, and go find another career. If you have, then shut up, stop making excuses, and do it. It's that simple."

Michael's choice of words was deliberate, as were his actions. As he tightened his grip on her elbow, he waved his free hand in the general direction of the exit door. The one her male co-star had walked out of less than a minute previously. "That's if you even care. Do you Kat, because it doesn't appear to me as if you do. How would Renier have reacted if I'd attempted to fire him without notice? I can't envisage him apologising and grovelling like a subservient little schoolboy, can you sweetie?" It was a rhetorical question, and the epithet designed to mock her youth and perceived immaturity. "No, the man probably would have punched me in the face, and vowed to prove me wrong, and that, I'd be able to respect. However, what I can't respect is simpering bullshit."

Hannah had moved from the wall with a concerned expression as Michael's anger increased, and he began to jerk Kat's body back and forth with each word, however she didn't interfere. Her gaze flicked between Kat and the Director, and she relaxed a little when Michael suddenly released Kat's arm, and stepped away, thinking any threat of violence over. She couldn't have been more wrong. Although Michael's tone softened, he'd commenced to taunt the young woman more venomously. "Most actresses would give their right arms for the opportunity you've been given, but now I'm not even sure if you're capable. Are you Kat, or are your emotions buried so deep that you'll never be able to release them as I need you to. That you need to be able to, to bring justice to the character. For all your so-called talent and potential, are you really nothing but a B grade actress who doesn't even deserve third billing in a made-for-tv movie? Another failed child star who couldn't make the transition to adulthood?"

Michael ignored Hannah's gasp at the comment, and kept his eyes locked on the young woman in front of him. His tone was totally calm now, and his expression half amused. Mocking. "Do you find that insulting, Katrina? Would you like to prove me wrong, slap me, hurt me, possibly attempt to gouge my eyes out with your nails. Would that help provide solace, or satisfaction?" Michael smirked. "I know it would me, and I know it would Lily, but you, you're an enigma. Do you just have no feelings, no emotions, or are you're too frightened to display them? If it doesn't affect you Kat, then there's nothing I can do, nothing anyone can do, however if deep down inside you're seething, then allow us to see it." As he issued the last word, Michael raised his hand, and struck Katrina across the cheek with an open palm. The slap wasn't issued with enough force to leave a mark, or to create anything more than a brief sting, but it was enough to humiliate.

His voice rose as the crack of palm against cheek faded. "No more apologies, no more bullshit. Don't be scared. Prove that you can be Lily, and that acting means more to you than a fucking pay-cheque, and magazine covers. Show me some emotion, some passion, some fire. Show me Lily."

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

"Do you even like acting, Katrina?" Nicole Ellis shook a paper in front of her daughter's face, her hand crumpling up the page and half-covering up the highlighted set of words that read:


A chestnut-haired fifteen year-old looked blankly from the crumpled cast list of "The Crucible" to her mother, then shrugged her shoulders. "Um, I guess. I just don't understand why you're so upset with me. I thought I did okay at my callback, and I'm still in the production with one of the other principle roles. Sure, it's not Abigail, but it is what it is. Besides, Abigail is supposed to be 17, and Christina's 18."

"Your father and I are not paying for you to go to one of the top performing arts academies in the nation so you can 'guess' that you like acting. I'm not sure I should be paying at all, considering you're settling for a role less than the lead, all over age. Are you going to settle in the real world? Are you going to tell yourself that it's okay not to get a role simply because the other girl was skinnier, prettier, younger or older? The only thing that matters is the ability to perform. No one cares for actresses that settle. I sure as hell don't care."

Angrily, the young female snatched the paper from her mother's grasp, sarcasm coloring her tone of voice. "I already know you don't care about me, mom. I have a rehearsal to prepare for, so if you can just leave me alone now, that would be pretty freakin' cool."

As quick as Katrina had snatched the crumpled page, Nicole raised her hand and slapped her daughter hard across the face, leaving an angry pink mark at the hand-to-cheek contact. "Do you even care, Katrina? Do you? If you don't care enough to do something in this profession, then you'd better tell me because as of right now, you're a waste of my time and money."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As Katrina's mind faded out of the memory that had been recalled at the shock at the open-handed blow, she found herself still turned away from Michael, the unexpectedness of it all causing her neck to turn with the motion of his hand. Chestnut waves had fallen over her cheek, keeping her hot and flushed face hidden from view. It wasn't the force of the slap that had given her the color, but the anger and humiliation that followed the action. The same emotions she had felt at fifteen bubbled up to the surface, leaving her livid and teeming with aggression and fury, and as she moved her head to stare wordlessly at the director in front of her, she realized that Michael was right. She did want to hit him back, and she wanted to hit him hard. The words he'd thrown in her face were something she would take, but was he out of his mind?

When directors got upset, they had every right to yell, to scream, to order whatever it was they wanted from their actors. After all, they were the bosses on set, and their cast and crew, including the lead actors and actresses, were still only employees hired to bring their idea to life. But most had never risen their voices to her more than a gentle reprimand, and none had crossed the line of invading her personal space and then assaulting her. Back at fifteen she could do nothing but sulk and stalk off, but Michael Rodriguez wasn't her mother - he was a director, a professional, and he knew there was absolutely no reason to lay a finger on her in such a manner. Michael wanted to see Lily? Fine, she decided, she'd give him the crazy bitch he was looking for.

With strength that belied her petite form, Katrina shoved the director away as best she could, then took a step back. It wasn't exactly the easiest thing to do as he had an easy advantage over her, but she was sure it was enough to make him think twice about who he was speaking with. "Have you lost your goddamn mind? Or are you just a huge fucking idiot?" For the first time in a long time, she sounded more like the twenty-one year old that she was rather than the quiet, demure woman that everyone expected her to be. The language she used was juvenile, but somehow the display of independence and aggression made her seem older and less like an obedient child.

"Or maybe you knew what you were doing but just decided that it'd be a good idea. It doesn't really matter which situation we're working with here - I mean personally I think it's that you're lacking in the intelligence department, but hey, what do I know - the point is, I don't know who the fuck you think you are to even touch me. If i wanted to, I could walk out of here right now and end your movie like that. In fact, I could end your entire career in the blink of an eye. What are you, thirty-three? How sad; one failed acting career followed by a failed directing stint all while not even having reached your forties. One of the reasons I accepted this job was because everyone talks about how 'visionary' and 'fantastic' you are about bringing concepts to screen... I don't know about you, but I think it'd be pretty damn hard to be visionary when you're permanently out of a job."

The fire under her had been lit, and like a match to gasoline, Michael had caused her to explode. "And don't presume to throw insults at me when you have no idea what I went through to get where I am now. I know what you think, what everyone else thinks about me because of where I came from and who I came from. If you think for a second that I had everything handed to me because I'm related to Nicole Ellis, then you really are just plain stupid. Don't think, don't even pretend to think that you know me or know my acting ability. You know NOTHING." Katrina yelled the last word at the director while simultaneously lifting the hand that carried her iPhone, and she threw the device at him, missing his face by mere inches. The phone instead struck his shoulder, bouncing off with a soft 'thud' and falling to marble floor, the glass screen audibly shattering on the hard surface.

The young actress went quiet for a moment as the echo of her voice and broken phone faded away, and she watched Michael's face to search it for reaction. Kat wasn't stupid or oblivious, no. In fact, she was far from it and knew of the constant assumptions people made about her upbringing into the world of fame, as well as the comparisons the entertainment industry made between mother and daughter. Nicole Ellis, the beautiful and equally talented young actress who had won international fame in her early twenties, had been loved by fans and critics alike, praised for her natural and emotive acting on screen. Then in drunken mistake with one of the foreign production executives, Nicole's fame had disappeared with the conception of Katrina.

"Oh, you missed it," Kat muttered sarcastically, sneering at the tall man in front of her as she walked forward. "Was that enough emotion for you or did you need some more? Did you have a camera rolling, because that's all you're going to get for a while. Maybe you should slap me again. Or maybe you can hire Nicole instead of me - I hear she was pretty great at this acting thing before she got totally knocked up and became a huge bitch. But I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree because I can be a bitch too." With those words and the closing of the distance between them, Katrina stood on her tip-toes and hit Michael with the same open-handed strike he had given her. The only difference was that she dug her nails into the flesh of his cheek as she dragged her palm away, leaving four red scratches that extended from cheekbone to jawline.

"Huh, what do you know," she mused aloud, "You were right. It is satisfying to hear that palm-to-cheek contact. I mean, damn, that was solid. I would say sorry, but I actually really couldn't care." The girl shrugged her shoulders and then stooped low to pick up her broken phone, waving it around. "Try not to call tomorrow while I get this fixed, or you know, try not to call me... ever. It was great working with you, it really was, but you'll just have to excuse me when I say that I'm not interested in working with shitty directors." With that, Katrina turned on her heel, grabbed her bag off a nearby table, and started making her way to the exit.

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

The silence was deafening when Michael finished with the taunts which followed the slap, and glanced over at Hannah. The older woman's jaw had dropped open, and she stared at Michael with eyes widened in shock. When their gazes met, she shook her head, and took a step forward. However, before she take could another, Michael's pupil narrowed, and he mouthed "No." Hannah momentarily hesitated, then threw Michael a 'you'd better know what you're fucking doing look', and ceased her movement.

Did he? Michael had a reputation as a Director who ranted and raved, and screamed at his cast, but he'd never been known as a misogynist, or to become physically violent. Anyone who entered the acting profession usually possessed a large ego; it was virtually a prerequisite; and his methods generally consisted of identifying a weakness in an individuals psyche, and verbally challenging their pride. Enough so that they'd determine to prove him wrong. However, he'd decided the case of Katrina Ellis required something more, and the slap had been a calculated move; deliberately soft enough to not cause harm, but with enough sting to humiliate. Michael wanted Kat truly angered, so that he could gauge if the Lily he required for the film to be a success resided within her. If she were not to react with anger or fury at all, but with only her usual composure, he'd also have his answer.

Michael's focus returned to Katrina as he felt the shove, and the action caused him to stumble. His arms flailed in an attempt to regain his balance, and when he'd recovered it enough to focus on the young actress, her expression bought a smirk to his face. The girl looked pissed. Michael's mouth opened to speak, but it quickly clamped itself shut as he ducked. The phone slammed against his shoulder, then bounced off, and clattered to the floor. By the time he'd straightened, she'd began to rant, and Michael folded his arms across his chest and decided to not interrupt.

The smirk turned into a smile as she spoke without pausing for breath, and insulted him. He didn't react to her threat to end his career, although it caused a brief shiver, however he was confident that if she reported him, he'd be able to talk his way out of it. At the comment about his failed acting attempt, the Director shrugged; the girl was right. His eyes narrowed slightly at the mention of his Directing ability, but after the initial annoyance receded he had to hold back a laugh. Michael was certain Katrina didn't mean it; otherwise why would she have initially been so enthused to take on the role, and work under his guidance; and that her fury was speaking for her. A sign to the Director that this was not a performance, but a part of the real Kat, which to date she'd kept hidden. The entire time his eyes remained on her face, and he didn't notice the raised arm until it was too late.

Hannah looked on with an expression of concern, and her eyes darted between the duo. As she realised Katrina's intentions, she emitted a gasp of surprise, and screamed. "Kat. No", but could do nothing to stop the actress from returning the slap Michael had laid on her. Hannah winced at the deliberate rake of Kat's nails down Michael's cheek, but didn't move to intervene.

When Michael had finally seen Kat's raised arm, his eyes had widened, and he'd attempted to swat it away, but was too slow. He connected with her elbow just as her palm struck his face, and the sting of her nails as they created furrows in his skin caused him to cry out in pain. He instinctively pressed a hand to his cheek to feel for any blood, and lurched forward with his other arm extended in an attempt to grab her. "You fucking......" He yelled, about to call her a bitch, however as he missed her, the shock faded, and he allowed his arm to drop. A chuckle escaped his lips instead. "I guess I deserve that, didn't I?"

Michael rubbed his gouged cheek, and cocked an eyebrow, but Katrina had already collected her phone, and begun to walk off. He spoke to her back. "Now if you only brought that passion and fire to the screen. It's a pity that I had to resort to striking you, so that you'd demonstrate what you're capable of, and for that, I'm truly sorry. However, what I'll never apologise for is attempting to help my cast reach their potential. I saw Lily there for a moment, Katrina, and that's what I needed to see, but if you feel that you can no longer work with me, and wish to leave, I won't try to stop you."

He motioned for Hannah to go after her, and raised his voice as Kat moved further away. "But consider this. Did the slap hurt anything but your pride, Katrina? What do you think it's going to be like when you see the billboards, then watch Hyde and Seek on the big screen; because rest assured, filming will go ahead with or without you; and another actress has taken your role? When you analyse her performance, and know in your heart that could do have done so much more with it, but gave up because your ego was offended. Can you live with that, Katrina, or will you regret it for the rest of your career?" He paused as Hannah reached Kat, then fired one final departing shot. "You could be a once in a generation actress, but until you find the courage to stop holding yourself back in front of the lens, you'll never be better than mediocre. If you won't do it for me, do it for your Mother."

As he went silent, Hannah gently took hold of Kat's wrist, and squeezed. "Are you okay, honey?" She glanced at Michael, who had turned and was stalking to the exit, then returned her attention to the younger woman. "He shouldn't have done that, but the man's right about one thing. You have the talent to be great. Don't make a hasty decision because of one incident. I know Michael; he's not the person you may think he is. He cares about his cast, and wants to see them succeed. Sometimes he has a funny way of showing it." Hannah shot her a sympathetic smile, then released her grip on Kat's arm, and turned towards a bank of elevators. The cast and crew had accommodations on the top two floors for the duration of filming at the location.

Hannah pressed the call button, and looked back at Katrina. It wasn't the first occasion she and Michael had performed the 'good-cop', 'bad-cop' routine, and she could only hope that it would work once again. However, the Casting Director had her doubts; he may have just gone too far with the slap. "I don't about know you, but it's been a long day, and I need a drink. It might help us both calm down."

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

"I don't drink," came Katrina's automatic response, her voice and demeanor soft, almost completely different than it had been with Michael, and she shifted her eyes to focus on Hannah as they waited. "My palette has never really included alcohol, but I can understand the appeal. I guess wine isn't so bad. And those fruity cocktails." The elevator doors opened and the actress shrugged, stepping forward with the casting director. Like Renier, her room was at the fourteenth floor - accessible only through private key access - and after she had inserted the card in the appropriate slot, both women began the journey up.

Truthfully, Katrina enjoyed the sophistication that came with being a cultured drinker, and with her recent birthday into the 'big 2-1,' she anticipated being able to enjoy the occasional wine here and there, or maybe something even a little bit stronger. But it wasn't her decision to make, as her mother had gone running to Myles with a list of reasons her daughter would need to abstain from drinking. The biggest on the list was that she needed her reputation intact as a well-respected actress, and that alone had been enough to make Myles jump on board with the decision. It was part of her appeal, he said, that she was a 'good girl,' seemingly innocent; someone who put her personal image and dignity above all else. But she knew her mother had only wanted her to avoid the same mistake of indulging too much in alcohol and its aftereffects: hangovers, headaches, bad sex... kids. And so Nicole Ellis instilled into her daughter the harmful effects of drinking, and also encouraged her monthly birth control injection, just in case something went 'wrong'.

Without the safety of her phone to shield her from the awkwardness at being alone with the Hannah, Katrina sneaked a glance over, wondering if she was supposed to say something. Did the casting director expect her to express her fascination and appreciation for Michael's actions? Hannah was right; that director did have a funny way of showing how much he cared, and in the young actress's mind, the slap had only proved to her how little he cared for his female lead. And not just the actions, but the words he'd used were specifically designed to infuriate her. Looking back, she knew that, knew he was deliberately trying to make her upset, yet she'd fought back. Why? Too much liked Nicole, the voice inside her head reasoned, and she knew it to be true. Michael Rodriguez had just skimmed the surface of what lay beneath the facade of perfection, without even realizing what he had truly done.

Moments later, a ding sounded and the doors opened, revealing a wide, ornately decorated hallway that held none of the congested arrangement of rooms that the lower floors did, but a spacious floor plan that screamed luxury. Katrina led the way to the Ambassador Suite, the smallest of the specialty suites, and turned the corner to find Renier standing outside his own room with a tall blonde, one of the girls with a minor but repeated role throughout Hyde and Seek.

"Checking out tomorrow morning?" he teased, his smirk growing to a full grin when his co-star ignored him, walking past without so much of a second glance his way. His laugh faded away as the pair of women turned another corner and came to a stop in front of what looked to be the entrance to lavish living quarters. Katrina had, of course, paid for her own room. Her guilty conscience prompted her to do so as it was her own fault that their time at the Beverly Wilshire was extended by a few extra days, and while nothing could make up for the loss of time, effort, and money, she figured that maybe the $5,500-per-night fee that came with staying in the luxury room would be enough to help clear some of that guilt. Renier, on the other hand, had opted for the Penthouse Suite and paid the ridiculous $7,500 nightly price tag, all to have three bedrooms, and bathrooms made with Italian marble. "Maybe you can stay a night? It'll help you practice really getting into character, and maybe we'd actually accomplish something during filming," he'd taunted her the first night they were there.

"God, I wish he wasn't so much of a... a... him," Katrina muttered as she unlocked the heavy mahogany doors to her room and walked inside, kicking her heels off and relishing the instant comfort that came to her feet. Gesturing to the mini-bar located just off the dining area, she turned to Hannah and said, "Please, make yourself at home, or call up service if you want something a little more specialty."

The actress stepped out to the terrace to give the older woman some time to relax, but she mostly needed time to think. Michael's parting words kept running through her mind: "You could be a once in a generation actress, but until you find the courage to stop holding yourself back in front of the lens, you'll never be better than mediocre. If you won't do it for me, do it for your Mother." No, she decided, even though she had always wanted approval from Nicole, their rocky relationship had made it so she never actively sought to do things for her mother. If anything, Katrina always did things for herself, knowing that at the end of the day, nothing mattered except what she thought of her own actions. She was self-critical, a perfectionist, and that was the way she liked it. But Michael had shaken her confidence with the biting comment, and she suddenly wondered if it was true. Hadn't she already attained the ability to act well? Acting wasn't about letting go or holding back, she mentally repeated to herself, it was calculated to show just the right amount; control over every aspect of a certain role was how one could properly understand it, and bring it to life.

So why did Michael's words make her doubt that mantra?

Katrina walked back inside and laid her petite body onto one of the over-sized couches, rolled over onto her back and stared at the high ceilings above her. Why was Hyde and Seek so difficult? "What's wrong with me?" she asked aloud more to herself than Hannah, letting on that even she was vulnerable to the pressures of her job, then sighed at the fatigue she felt from the day. "... I know what I said back there, but I'm not actually quitting. Just thought you should know. I want to finish this - I really, truly do - and besides, if I don't, Myles is going to give me a lecture about losing out on eight big ones." She didn't even bother mentioning her mother, who would have most likely given her another useless lecture on 'settling.'

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

"Remain in this profession, and you'll start." Hannah noted from the change in Katrina's tone that the anger which had consumed the actress a short time previously had departed, and shot her a smile. "The sharks who run it seem to think they purchase your soul and rights to your body, along with your acting ability, when you sign the contract. Believe me, Michael is one of the good guys." The older woman defended the director, not in an attempt to persuade Kat, but because she truly believed it.

Regardless of the slap he'd issued to Katrina; an action which Hannah didn't condone, but one for which she could understand the reasoning behind; Michael Rodriguez was one of the most respectable men in the game. In the time she'd worked alongside the man, he'd not once used his position of authority and influence to bed his actresses, or take advantage of his cast. That wasn't to say Michael didn't have his own peccadilloes; a lot of rumours floated around, and some were sure to be true; but the glamour of being a name in the film industry ensured he had enough women throw themselves at him of their own accord, without needing to resort to coercion or force. Unlike many others; producers, actors, directors, studio moguls and their serfs; who'd fuck and abuse young, vulnerable starlets simply because they could, with impunity. Hollywood was a world of its own, and created its own laws.

When Kat swiped her card, Hannah nodded. As she'd wished, they were headed to the actresses suite, rather than hers. Not that any room at the Wiltshire were less than five star, but in comparison to the Penthouse's on the floor above, Hannah's would seem cramped, and Kat would feel more comfortable in her own space. She briefly wondered if it was true that Kat had offered to foot the bill for the extra expense when their stay at the Hotel was extended, and knew that if it were, the girl must have been aware it was her (lack of) performance, which had caused the delay, long before the day's confrontation with Michael.

When their eyes met, Hannah appraised Kat without speaking. The girl didn't drink, use drugs, or flirt and sleep around with other cast members, and apart from the one incident with Michael had never been seen to lose her cool and composure. The control she'd exhibited was close to supernatural, and to the experienced casting director, Kat's innocence, and naivety to the ways of the world - the world of power and fame - was almost a physical presence. A sudden chill made its way down her spine. Hannah had been in the game long enough to be aware that, unless you wished to be a pariah, forever out of work, and constantly mocked and derided, no matter how honourable your intentions, or high your standards, the temptations and depravations of Hollywood eventually became impossible to avoid. It was people like Kat, who when they fell, landed hardest. Just as Lily would in Hyde and Seek. Was that what they'd seen in her, and why she'd been selected for the role? The ding of the bell brought Hannah out of her reverie, and she pushed the thought aside. They had a film to make, and she could concern herself with the young actresses welfare once it was completed.

Hannah's head shot up at the sound of a familiar voice when exited they the elevator, and her gaze landed on Renier. She scowled at the male lead in reaction to the comment made to Kat, then wiped the smirk off his face as her attention moved to the blonde on his arm, and the scowl became a smile. "Make sure to use a condom, I know where he's been."

His response was rendered inaudible by the wall put between them as they reached Kat's suite, and the woman sighed. "Would you believe that asshole even propositioned me. I'm old enough to be his damn mother." Hannah shook her head in disbelief, and followed Kat into the room. After a quick appraisal of the suite - Hannah had been in a many five star penthouse over her career, and was no longer surprised by the luxury and grandeur they offered - she headed straight for the mini-bar pointed out by Kat, and discovered a bottle of fifty year old Glenfiddich. "This will do just fine." She held the bottle in the air, found two glasses, half filled them with ice from the machine provided, then pirouetted to locate the young actress.

Katrina flopped on the sofa just as Hannah reached the one opposite, with an oak coffee table between them, and poured each a drink. She raised an eyebrow at Kat's words, then pushed the liquor towards the other woman, "It'll help you sleep", kicked off her shoes, and fell back on the lounge, with glass in hand. Hannah lifted it to her lips, and sighed in contentment as the fiery liquor heated her mouth, and sent a warmth through her entire body. As she lowered the beverage, and ice clinked against glass, her eyes once again found Kat. "That's good to know. Michael and I agreed that you were the right actress for the role, and I still believe you have the potential to do Lily justice. I'm certain he does too, but I understand his doubts; the Katrina Ellis we saw at the auditions and in her previous films isn't the one we're seeing now. It's as if she's afraid to express her emotions on film. Is it the mature content and nudity, Katrina? Because if it's that simple, and you've agreed to something that you now believe you're not ready for, or capable of, it's best we part ways. The piano scene, as you're well aware, is only the beginning of Lily's downfall, and tame in comparison to what will be required later. Possibly we misjudged you, or you misjudged yourself, and you don't have the maturity and experience, either personally, or as an actress, to portray such a sexually complex character as Lily is, at this stage of your career."

Hannah paused, and leaned forward in her seat. They'd done their research on Katrina Ellis before offering the role. Then, the discovery of Nicole's stalled career, and the reasons behind it, had appeared insignificant. However, not now. Hannah had picked up on Kat's references to her mother through the confrontation with Michael, and intuition told her that Nicole Ellis was at the root of Kat's problems; she'd need to tread carefully with what was said next. When Hannah spoke again both her expression and tone had softened. "Or is it something else Katrina. To do with your Mother? You know you can't spend your life paying for another's mistakes, and allowing them to live their life vicariously through yours. Maybe it would help if you talked to a professional." The casting director held her breath, unsure how Katrina would react. "I know a man. He's worked with virtually every A-lister in town."

Not quite the truth, and the word psychiatrist wasn't mentioned.

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

A glass was pushed toward her, and Katrina's head turned to the inspect the goldish-brown liquor within. It took a while for her to recall what Glenfiddich even was, and when she did, she knew it wasn't something she'd want to have. It was a tempting offer, but seeing as she had no alcohol tolerance, she just didn't know how much it would take for her to start babbling nonsense or acting a fool. That wasn't something she'd like Hannah ━ or anyone for that matter ━ to see, and she flashed the casting director an apologetic smile when she didn't reach for the glass. Instead, the girl rolled to her side to watch the older woman speak, the sides of her lips turning up in a slight smile at the compliments about her audition for Hyde and Seek. Every actress loved having her ego stroked, and Kat was no exception even if she didn't show it all too often. But what made her face fall was the reminder of her glaring shortcomings, and she turned her head back to the ceiling.

The issues weren't even that she had trouble accepting the nudity and sex. She was young, sure, but it wasn't like she had something to be ashamed of when it came to her body. Unlike other young actresses who had adopted strict diets or had even gone so far as to go vegan, she ate what she wanted and then exercised later, resulting in a slim and toned body that still managed to have enticing assets in spite of her otherwise lithe, petite figure.

No, if it had been a matter of showing skin, she wouldn't have auditioned for the role in the first place. She wouldn't have tried so hard to impress both Michael and Hannah during her read-through of the script. So many experienced actresses had auditioned for the same role, almost all of them possessing the killer good looks it took to portray the model that Lily was. Yet Katrina had refused to settle for anything less than the lead role, no matter what whispers and rumors went around about everything that might have restricted her from being cast in Hyde and Seek. Too young? She had remarkable maturity for such a young actress. Too short to portray the model's figure needed for the film? Her acting had made up for whatever physical discrepancies between herself and the character. Her looks too innocent? It was arguable the innocence was needed more than straight up sexy.

She had wanted the film to mark her transition from child to adult, a turning point in her career that gave her presence in the entertainment industry. If she hadn't wanted it so badly, she wouldn't have fought for Myles to negotiate something reasonable for her salary. Oh, he'd been upset at their initial offer of 5 million, insisting that she was worth at least double because of how popular and 'in demand' she was. But Katrina persuaded him to allow her to do the role. It was life changing, she told him, a film that would grant her the respect she wanted as an actress capable of doing more than teen comedies and magazine photo shoots. And if she was lucky, maybe it would even get her Nicole's respect as well.

At the mention of her mother, the actress shot Hannah a strange look and her impassive face shifted to a frown, suddenly annoyed at the conversation subject. "What do you mean, 'talk to a professional'? Nicole and I are fine," Katrina said maybe a bit too pointedly with a touch of defensiveness, remembering that Hannah had been in the background when she'd yelled out words that she hadn't meant to. "She's my mother, and like all of them, she likes to butt into my life. Her mistakes are her own, and I know that she just wants to see me succeed. We're pretty close, so I don't think that's a huge deal." In the back of her mind, Kat wondered how many times she'd have to repeat that lie to finally start believing it.

She didn't need or want to talk about Nicole Ellis. What she needed was to figure out a way to fix her performances for Hyde and Seek, and talking about irrelevant bitches wasn't going contributing to that goal. With a sudden change of heart, Katrina stretched her arm out to snatch the Scotch off the table, lifted it to her lips and frowned even further when the liquid burned its way down her throat. It was disgusting, but not nearly as bothersome as the subject at hand, and she fell silent for a minute as she looked down into the drink. Then finally, with seemingly casual interest and in attempt to change the topic, she asked, "Who is he?"

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

The casting director fell back in her seat, with the edge of her glass held to her pursed lips, and her eyes locked on Katrina. The suggestion had been subtle, and she wondered if Kat would realise that she referred to a psychiatrist. The idea had come to her in the elevator. If things continued as they were, the confrontations with the Director would likely only worsen, which could end up damaging the girls psyche, and destroying her confidence. Possibly even enough for the young actress to lose her desire to remain in the film industry. Hannah had seen it occur before; to actresses with much less talent than Kat.

They also had a film to complete, one which was of great importance to her friend Michael Rodriguez and his future legacy, and neither she or the Director were trained in the ways of the human mind, although Michael sometimes acted as if he were. No, Hannah thought, it'd be best for Kat to receive help from someone with no vested interested in the success of the film, or ulterior motives. There was nothing wrong with speaking to a counselor; Hannah had done so herself for the past twenty years, and been assisted through two failed marriages, and a drug dependency brought about by depression. Although that was in the past, and alcohol was now Hannah's only vice, she continued her weekly visits. It was good for her mental health, and it'd good for Kat's.

The actresses expression changed at the mention of her Mother, as did her tone of voice, and Hannah considered Kat's demeanour at odds with denials she spouted. That was only accentuated by the manner in which she snatched the liquor off the table, and stared into the dark amber liquid after she'd taken a drink. Her eyes no longer met Hannah's. The casting director drained the remainder of her scotch, then crossed one leg over the other, leaned forward to close the distance between them, and placed the empty vessel on the table. "We all have issues with our parents, God knows I had enough of my own."

Hannah's lips curled into a tight smile as the memories flashed through her mind. Her parents had been white-collar professionals, who'd constantly derided her adolescent dream of entering the film industry as foolish, and insisted she attend college to obtain a 'respectable' degree. The young woman had left home at nineteen, and at twenty married an unknown, but incredibly handsome, B-Grade movie actor, who was to be the next Tom Cruise. The marriage had ended within three months, and the last Hannah heard of Dean Walters, he lived in BumFuck, Idaho, and sold used cars. Soon after the divorce, Hannah's career had taken off, and she'd long since reconciled with her parents.

Kat hadn't responded to Hannah's questions in regard to the film content, but did react immediately to the mention of Nicole. Even if Kat held concerns about the nudity and sex required, intuition told the casting director everything came back to the girls Mother, and she decided to not push the matter any further. It would only risk angering Kat, and having her reject Hannah's suggestion out of spite. "However, if Nicole is not your issue, something is holding you back. It could be Michael, it may even be me, or Renier, a subconscious fear of exposing yourself and the full range of your emotions to the camera? Who knows? But I think it best you figure that out with someone not involved in the film."

Hannah diverted her attention to the purse which lay beside her on the sofa, withdrew a pocket book, and thumbed through it as she continued to talk. "His name is Gerald, Gerald Miller, and he keeps office at his residence in the Hills. A great reputation, worked on many major films, and with a lot of well-known actors; helping them get into the mindset of their characters and such. As well as the usual stage-fright, and personal issues. We even considered engaging him full-time for Hyde and Seek, but the man charges like a wounded bull." And that was true, they had, however in the end, Michael had decided to waive the additional expense. "Ah, here he is."

With her index finger marking the page on which she'd found the man's number, and pocket book being waved in the air, Hannah's focus returned to Katrina. "He's a good friend of the counselor I see, so busy as he is, I'm sure I'll be able to wangle an appointment for you tomorrow. We have exterior scenes to re-shoot for Hyde and Seek, which we can bring forward, and your presence won't be required for those. Don't worry, I'll speak to Michael. The production will pay, and anything you discuss with Doctor Miller will, of course, remain confidential. Just between the two of you." Hannah raised a querying eyebrow. "Agreed?" She hadn't really left the young actress much option.

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

"Kat, you haven't driven that damn car once. You could do something stupid like, oh I don't know, crashing it just like you did with this?" Myles had appeared at her room early the next morning to give her the new phone, irritated with her for making him visit AT&T the previous night on such short notice. "Besides, you have to be at the film location in an hour, so come on. You know I hate being non-punctual."

"I told you, I'm not going to that. Hannah gave me the day off to see... An acting coach. Trying to get in touch with my sexuality and all that, you know?" She wasn't quite sure why she lied to her manager, but she wanted to keep Dr. Miller a secret for now. "And you know, I do have a license. I can go places without needing you to drag me around everywhere. I would even say I'm good at driving."

"Mhmm. Some might say you're 'good' at handling phones, too."

Katrina laughed; a clear, vibrant sound despite the early hour. "I'll take care of myself today. Go and do whatever it is you have to do, and be happy you don't have to play chauffeur. I'm sure my car and I will be fine."

The actress ushered him out as he grumbled a few choice words about her being so 'irresponsible' with her time and belongings. "Love you too!" she called out into the hallway before closing the door. Myles was easily on the list of her most favorite people. Unlike everyone else in the business, he didn't coddle her or treat her any differently as he would any other person just because of her perceived innocence and delicateness. He was almost like a father figure and good friend wrapped up in a single person; vastly different from her real dad who had been mostly absent from her life save for the usual large sum of birthday money, or obscenely expensive gift like her car, the sleek black Maybach Exelero. But then, maybe being a foreign exec for a production company gave him an excuse to be a total asshole when it came to his family. Who really knew?

It was her closeness to Myles that made her feel slightly bad about lying to him, but Katrina simply couldn't risk anyone finding out about what she'd resorted to for clarity on her acting issues. At least, not yet. She was supposed to be Kat Ellis, the seemingly perfect young woman of Hollywood, so unlike the rest of the starlets who got drunk as fuck at some exclusive club and then needed to talk to someone about all their alcohol dependency issues and boyfriend problems. She wasn't supposed to be that girl who needed to talk to a specialist just to ensure her head didn't get too inflated over fame. She wasn't the type to need a psychiatrist. It's not like she was under any illusions of what Gerald Miller really was -- the 'doctor' in front of his name had given it away -- and after a quick search into Google, it was plainly obvious that Hannah wanted her to see someone to help her sort out all the mental shit going on in her mind. A professional, indeed.

Katrina still wasn't sure why she'd agreed to see him, but after waking that morning, it had only taken 10 minutes for the young actress to pick up the hotel line and call. She'd meant to cancel it, but... Maybe a sliver of her mind actually believed that Nicole was to blame for her inability to act. Maybe it was sheer desperation wanting to know why she couldn't act, or maybe desire to know how she could expand her emotional range so that her performances for Hyde and Seek weren't as lifeless as watching paint dry. Whatever the case, she ended up leaving things as they were and ultimately decided to go. It was a wonder Hannah was even able to pull strings to get an appointment in, but there wasn't a doubt in Katrina's mind that she got it simply because of both their Hollywood statuses.

--------------------------------------

"Dr. Gerald Miller's office, my name is Trish, how can I help you?" a feminine voice had answered the phone, clearly tired and slightly irked at the early, 7:25 AM call.

"I'd like to cancel an appointment for today?" Katrina had responded, clearly aware that it was probably well before the normal office hours. Maybe caller ID came up as the Beverly Wilshire or something.

"May I take a name?"

"Katrina Binetti. Uhm, Katrina Ellis Binetti? Er, Kat Ellis."

"Kat Ellis?" Katrina had heard the recognition in the woman's voice, though there was no awe or surprise. This kind of thing must not have shocked her anymore, but then that was her job, and Hannah had said that the good doctor had worked with almost every A-lister in town. There had been a long pause, then she heard Trish say, "Dr. Miller is scheduled to see you at 1:00 PM, Katrina. Would you like to cancel it or reschedule?"

"Well... Actually, that's perfect. Thank you." And then she had hung up the phone, not knowing exactly why she'd had her change of heart.

--------------------------------------

For once in her life she found it a relief to get something handed to her on a silver platter just because her name meant something to the common household, and at thirty minutes past noon she was in her car and driving up N. Beverly to Sunset Boulevard. His address rang familiar in her mind; it was the suburbs of LA where millionaires resided, still within the exclusive and envied 90210 zip code of Beverly Hills. Of course, Katrina shared the same general residence area, but her penthouse condo at Oakhurst was a bit closer to the social scene and shopping centers of the Hills than the mansions and multi-acre land plots where Dr. Miller had his home built. The drive wasn't too bad, only a 20-minute journey from the hotel, and when she neared the address she was only a little bit shocked to find where he resided.

After being let in through the front gate, she turned the bass-heavy Beyoncé song down from blasting out her windows, getting the feeling that it was disturbing the peacefulness of his estate. Every aspect of the landscaping was immaculate; mowed grass just the perfect shade of green covered the ground, well-maintained trees and shrubbery lined the driveway, and, as the home itself came into view, flowered bushes surrounded paved pathways that led around and behind the house. In front, a circular driveway with an elaborate fountain was just a hint of its opulence, and it was a stunning first taste of the home itself. Built in contemporary Mediterranean design that many Californians seemed to favor, it sported off-white stucco walls and reddish-brown roof tiling; high, arched windows; and white door and window decor. Whoever had it made was obviously a person of great taste, and Katrina couldn't help but admire it for just a moment before turning left on the road to get to his office.

As per Trish's instructions, the young woman drove past the tennis courts, multi-car garage, and pool area to get the west wing of the mansion, where the design of the building took a more modern turn. It kept within theme of the home, but the windows were larger and seemed more businesslike than what she had previously encountered. Like any office, it had a small lot outside for parking, and the entire front wall of the west wing was made of floor-to-ceiling glass. Inside she could see a woman at a desk, but other than that it lacked any of the sterile professionalism one might find in the downtown high-rises of LA, where other psychiatrists kept their practices.

"Hello," Katrina greeted the young woman at the low desk, who was likely only 3 or 4 years older than she was. Looking at her, and the interior decorations that were just as lavish and tasteful as the outside, Kat felt a bit under-dressed. Normally she would have gone to the filming location with full hair and makeup done, already in the dress and heels she would need to wear, but as her day was planned a little differently, she opted in a more casual look. Eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss was all she had used, not bothering to deal with cover-up as her face was clear of most blemishes, and her hair (which would have normally been blow-dried and styled to perfection) lay tumbling over one shoulder in its natural soft curls. Grey sweatpants hung low at her hips and a white tank top covered her upper half; both garments brought attention to her bare midriff and the simple, diamond stud belly button ring -- the one adolescent act she indulged in when she'd turned 18.

She was painfully aware that it looked almost like she didn't belong in the ostentatious house, but the woman only looked up at her, smiled, and said, "Right through the doors, Ms. Binetti."

Switching her gaze to the pair of white French doors made with frosted glass, Katrina flashed a polite smile and murmured, "Thank you," before walking forward and stepping through.

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

Another self-entitled, fucking Hollywood Princess who thinks she can jump the damn queue because of her name. Dr Gerald Miller had just notated the last patient file, locked his office door, and was looking forward to a relaxing evening with his wife of three years; Amy Lattimer-Miller, a failed ex-fashion model with legs up to her ears, long golden hair, the most gorgeous green eyes, and a size eight body deemed too curvaceous to be a success; when the phone in the outer office rang, and he made the mistake of answering it himself.

The thirty-five year old psychiatrist's first instinct had been to ask whoever it was to phone back during business hours, however on the other end of the line was his colleague, and occasional golfing partner, Dr Barry Kirk, who called on behalf of a friend, Hannah Davis. Could Gerald force an opening in his schedule the following day for an appointment with Ms Kat Ellis, the academy award nominee, and 'star' of the latest Michael Rodriguez film? It had taken him a few moments to recall the woman; actresses were a dime-a-dozen in this town; and after a further brief hesitation, he agreed to see her. The Doctor's lunch-hour was free, and a favour given was a favour returned. The $2,000 he'd charge for a forty-five minute 'hour' was nothing to sneezed at either; not that Doctor Miller was short of a dollar already.

Los Angles born-and-bred, he'd been raised in the Hills by physician Father, Archibald, and dutiful and subservient Mother, Emily; a woman to be seen but not heard. Archibald Miller had gained notoriety and fame in VIP circles as the man to go to when a prescription was required - Valium, Morphine, Benzedrine, Lithium, GHB, Adderall, Ritalin, Uppers, Downers, he'd dispense it all for a price -, but had managed to keep his nose clean, and avoid legal troubles. At age sixty, with a fortune amassed, he'd retired to the Bahama's, and gifted the Hollywood mansion in which Gerald now resided to his only child, and his new wife.

Gerald had intended to follow in the footsteps of his Father, and train as a physician, however a burgeoning interest in the working of the human mind in his late teenage years, had instead led to him to psychiatry. Following six years of College, a thesis on 'The Psychology of Fame', and a further three years of working under an experienced mentor in a downtown LA Office, Gerald had opened his own practice. Archibald had used his influence, and wealth of contacts, to refer patients, and soon a host of Hollywood names streamed into his office. Unlike Archibald, Gerald had taken the Hippocratic Oath seriously, and done his best to help where he could. Until recently.

The first years had been enjoyable, but as time went on, Gerald had become bored with the constant bitching and whining of the self-entitled, stuck-up neurotic princes and princesses who entered his office, and their first-world problems. 'My nose is too big. My tits are too small. I was offered only nine million dollars, and I deserve ten. My girlfriend only loves me for my money. I'm ugly and fat. I should have been awarded the Oscar but they gave it to that undeserving bitch. And on and on it went. For fuck's sake, there were children starving in Africa, Human rights abuses in China, and war and genocide in the Middle East, and all these beautiful, rich people could think about was their precious egos, and fame.

It wasn't that Gerald actually cared about third-world issues - he didn't give a shit -, but the pretence that he did helped assuage any guilt he may have felt that professional boredom, combined with a growing cynicism and distaste for his clients, had recently led him to begin subtly reinforcing their fears, rather than helping to provide the relief from them that they came to receive. If people thought Hollywood was full of neurotics already, just wait until he finished fucking with their heads.

****************************

"Doctor Miller, your next patient has arrived."

"Thanks, Jodie, send her in." Gerald Miller released the intercom, and stepped up from his chair. The office layout was simple and uncluttered, but as with the rest of the house, decorated with expense and taste. The Doctor's hand-forged oak desk was the centrepiece of the room, and placed near the rear. In front, and behind, were two red-leather chairs, with a plush, matching two-seater sofa adjacent to the entrance, in direct line of sight. A pitcher of water and two crystal glasses, which matched the set on his desk, sat on a coffee table beside the couch. Ornate, ceiling-high bookshelves which contained his medical texts were built into the two side walls, and the rear wall was bare. Save for three strategically placed framed photographs of Gerald shaking hands with well-know Hollywood celebrities.

The Doctor himself stood a slim, six feet two inches tall, with short, dark-blonde hair, neatly combed and swept back from his forehead, the beginnings of a goatee, and bright-green eyes mostly hidden behind spectacles. As was his custom, he wore casual business attire; today a pair of Khaki's slacks, and a white, Van Heusen dress shirt, top button undone.

Disrespectful bitch. That was Gerald's first thought as Katrina stepped through the French doors, and his gaze was immediately drawn to the sweat pants, and tank-top. She dared enter his residence dressed as if she'd just fallen out of bed? Possibly a little unfair, but still, it was obvious the young woman had gone to no great effort to impress. The second thought, as he reached her, and pulled his gaze to her face, was that that Katrina Ellis was even more attractive in person than up on the screen. The recollection of her name had brought to mind her fresh good looks, and Gerald wondered about the reasons for her presence.

"Kat Ellis? It's so nice to meet you, I thought the performance you gave in your latest film was brilliant". The doctor shot her a smile, and offered her his hand; emotions and uncharitable thoughts kept well-hidden behind friendly demeanour. "I'm Doctor Miller, but you can call me Gerald. Take a seat wherever you like." Miller waved at the sofa, then to the chair in front of his desk as he made his way to the one behind it, and continued to talk over his shoulder. "No reason to be nervous, just make yourself comfortable." The Doctor dropped in to his seat, reached for the water jug and a glass, and lifted his gaze to locate Kat. "And we can commence with you telling me what's brought you to my office?"

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

The girl took Gerald's hand and shook it, nodding silently and giving a slight smile as she had done so many times before. The introductions were always the same; it was always so nice to meet her, and her performance in her last film was always brilliant. She didn't know why, but Gerald's greeting had fallen flat with her even though it sounded sincere. She hadn't expected it to sound so generic, as if he memorized the words off a cue card. But then, maybe he was just used to greeting his patients that way. After all, the rest of his clientele were the rich and famous, people who lived, breathed, and simply existed to hear praise and compliments no matter how fake or repetitive things sounded. But still, she was glad that he made an effort to put her at ease. The environment seemed to help as well; she would have taken the comfortable California mansion over the sterility and white walls of other doctors' offices any day.

Gerald walked back to his desk and she took small steps across the plush off-white carpets, and as she eyed the decor a smile tugged up the corners of her lips. "I have many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany." The Ron Burgundy quote entered her mind out of nowhere as she made her way to the red sofa, slipping off her pink Nike Frees before daintily taking a seat. The silly thought put her at ease more than Gerald had, and it caused her to stifle a laugh with a slight choking noise. She settled into the plush couch, crossing one leg over the other and pretending to flick a piece of lint away from her leg while she regained her composure. She had meant to take the seat in front of good doctor, but in her mind that came across as too much like an interrogation rather than a friendly chat about... whatever she was there for. She still wasn't exactly sure about what she was there for, but she knew that if she wanted to talk, it would be casual.

Katrina watched as a he poured himself a glass of water, fidgeting with the chain of her Chanel purse as she struggled to find words to say. Finally she smiled and talked about the first thing that came to mind; it was also the safest topic to start with. " 'Kat' is for industry and 'Katrina' is for everyone else, so feel free to call me by that. And thank you for the sentiments on my last project. It was a change of pace for me, but I enjoyed it." That particular film, Lush, was a comedy-drama in which she played a supporting role as the teenage daughter of an alcoholic. It was really one of her favorites, and it was the first small step in shedding her child-star image. The drinking scenes caused controversy among the parents who had grown to love her wholesome reputation, but her PR team had been quick to inform the press that the bottles and red cups had only been filled watered down iced tea or Coke. She hadn't pegged Dr. Miller to be the type of person who watched comedy-dramas but then, Lush was all about her character's emotional state caused by the father's abuse. Maybe Gerald was into that kind of thing due to him being a psychiatrist. Or maybe he just didn't care and was only saying it to be nice.

"If you liked that film, the one I'm working on now will probably intrigue you... It's called Hyde and Seek, if you've ever heard of it. It's a Michael Rodriguez film." She paused to pour herself a glass of water, taking a sip before continuing. A small frown appeared on her face as she opened her mouth to speak. "That's actually what I'm here for. We're having slight issues on set, most of them because of... me. Well, Rodriguez seems to think that I'm incapable of showing enough raw emotion for this film, and I know that if that continues, I'm going to lose my job." She seemed to stop there, but then more words tumbled out in a rush. "It's not about the money, but it's just that this film is important to me. So... I don't know if you can exactly help me with that or...?"

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

Miller had not seen the film Lush, nor any of Katrina's performances, however who she was, and the fact that she'd been nominated for an Academy award, had been hard to miss. His compliments had been issued with as much sincerity as he could muster, and her response, not unfriendly, but not filled with warmth either, confirmed the bias held in the Psychiatrist's mind. This woman was no different from any of the other attractive, young actresses he treated; all so similar in personality, with their inherent narcissism and need to be applauded, way too much free time on their hands, and so-called issues that white collar workers who slaved their guts out for minimum wage would trade for in a heart-beat, that blindfolded, it would be impossible to tell them apart. However, Doctor Miller did not allow his inner thoughts to bleed through the courteous façade. Regardless of how much he despised pampered bitches such as Katrina, they allowed him to continue his lavish lifestyle; it was to best to remain friendly until they became dependent on his services, and the advice he provided. The trust he built with his clientele also made it so much easier to eventually break them down.

"I'm sorry, Katrina it is." Miller responded as he lifted his water glass to the lips and watched Ms Ellis select the sofa. The choice didn't surprise him; most clients were uncomfortable on their first visit, and tended to place themselves as far away as they could, as if that would somehow allow them to avoid his questions, or make their revelations less intimate. When she began to speak, Gerald placed down his glass, collected a pen from his blotter and remained silent. He'd heard about Hyde and Seek, and read the reviews, some type of dual personality, young-adult drama, apparently intended to be 'shocking and explicit' in its depiction of sex, and the Doctor's attention perked up. Incapable of showing raw emotion. What the hell did that mean, wasn't that what actress were paid to do? As she finished, the Doctor's pose was one of contemplation.

The pen in his fingers tapped against the desk, and his eyes drifted to a point over Katrina's shoulder. He'd believe "It wasn't about the money", when hell froze over. After a few moments, the man pulled his gaze back to Katrina, and nodded. "I've heard of the film, and have met Michael Rodriguez, socially, on a few occasions. However, this is the first time he's had cause to refer a performer to make use of my professional services." Gerald's voice was low, though still with enough volume to ensure it would be caught by Katrina, and captured by the microphones placed in each corner of the room, along with the hidden cameras. Doctor Miller may have hated his clients, but that didn't stop him from fucking them when the opportunity arose, and filming it to fend off any claims of malpractice. Not from the authorities, of course, the vision would only provide evidence, however a surreptitious phone call to an agent, with a veiled threat about what harm a leaked sex-tape could do to their client's career, would ensure things never got that far. You had to love Hollywood.

"As to whether I can help, that depends on where the problem lies. From the way your statement was phrased, it appears you believe the issue is with Rodriguez, not yourself?" The question was rhetorical, and Gerald continued without allowing Katrina time to respond. "Tell me about Hyde and Seek, Ms Ellis, and give me your opinion, not that of others. I believe you played the daughter of an alcoholic in Lush, which I envisage would have required quite an emotional range. What makes this film any different from the last, or is it all in the Director's imagination? If that's the case, then I'm afraid I won't be able to assist at all. Maybe you should send Michael to me instead." The Doctor smiled to let her know that the last line was a joke, crossed one leg over another, and relaxed in his chair."Go on Katrina. Anything said here remains confidential."

RE: Hyde and Seek ::: {Ariamella & Mr Quixotic}

Katrina visibly relaxed, shoulders dropping slightly as she sank back into the red leather couch. She wasn't completely at ease, but the doctor's joke made a grin tug at the corners of her lips, and her eyes sparkled suggestively as if she were actually considering the possibility of throwing Michael Rodriguez in her place. In her own opinion, he needed some sort of therapy for his apparent anger management issues. "Funny," she simply murmured in response, the calm tone of her voice contrasting with her clearly expressive body language. But that's how it always was with Katrina — she kept herself in check as much as possible both on and off the screen; her efforts and reaction had become automatic and subconscious by this point, which was made obvious by the way she kept most of her thoughts and emotions hidden from Gerald. He may have been a doctor, and a psychiatrist at that, but he was no exception to the rest of the people who entered Katrina's life. Trust was not something she gave out easily, even if it was to a doctor, a person that she should have felt at ease with exposing her personal life to.

The hint of the smile faded from Katrina's face, though her chocolate eyes retained the amused expression. "Sending Michael here may actually turn out to be a great idea. He's an awesome director, don't get me wrong, but the guy is crazy... Absolutely insane." She laughed, an empty sound that held no joy, but the words themselves weren't filled with any malice. She had no plans on elaborating exactly what she meant, but it was clear to anyone that, whatever the meaning was behind the words, she sincerely believed them to be true. Michael had, after all, slapped her as if she were an impudent child, and Katrina still held an internal grudge over the act despite already having had her revenge. The rake of her nails across his cheek had only brought so much satisfaction, and it hadn't been enough for her to forgive him. But those particular thoughts were tightly wrapped up and almost locked away — if that bit of information were to ever get out, she understood that the consequences to her reputation would be too much for her to maintain the 'good girl' image that the industry ate up.

But even though she saw Michael Rodriguez that way, she wasn't oblivious to the fact that it was she who set him off because of her acting skills, or rather, the lack of them. She sighed, the large exhale leaving her as she looked to one of the bookshelves with a blank expression on her face. The actress had issues with admitting she was wrong or at fault, and it was a painful pill for the perfectionist in her to swallow. "I guess I'd be a liar if I said I'm not at fault. I am, and I know that, but I can't tell you how or why I'm having these problems even if I wanted to... I'm not a bad actress. At least, I don't think I am. Some critics might tell you different, but I take my job very seriously, and Hyde and Seek really shouldn't be any different. I don't..."

Katrina was mostly rambling to herself now, but she hesitated, locking eyes with Gerald and fidgeting in her seat from the discomfort of feeling so vulnerable. Sharing was not something she liked to do, and it wasn't like she had someone to confide in. Her mother was more of a nightmare that needed to be avoided, and as close as Scooter Myles was, he was not the kind of person that one would spill their personal shit to. But, she told herself, she would at least try to open up to Miller. Hannah did say he was extremely good, and if anything she could trust the casting director's decision. If Miller eventually did manage to help her... well, that would prove that sharing never actually hurt anyone, did it?

"To be totally honest," the girl continued suddenly, "I chose to audition for Hyde and Seek because I wanted to take a role that propelled me to whole new audience, a new demographic that I could appeal to. I'm not a kid anymore, and I want to establish myself as a life-long actress, not just some Disney star who got a lucky break because she was popular." Katrina had never actually been on the Disney Channel, but the meaning was the same: films for young adults didn't interest her anymore. She wanted more, and frankly, she knew she was capable of more. "The movie is a huge step for me. It's really dark, in this satisfyingly tragic way... There's some violence, drug use, and sex. Lots of that last one, actually."

The young girl leaned her head back and stretched, flashing a glimpse of the taut muscle and smooth skin of her midriff. Her eyes closed as she thought about the dual roles of the film, Nina and Lily Hyde. A moment of silence passed, then she spoke again. "A lot of people wonder I why I wanted the role. More people probably wonder why it was given to me. It's not the intimate scenes or sexuality I'm worried about — I told Michael I was willing to do them from the very beginning — and I like the script, I really do. But emotionally, the film is... difficult. I'm cast as twins, one of which is extremely uptight and a good girl, while the other is a bit wild. She's a stripper." Katrina chuckled, but disdain could still be heard in her voice at the last word.

"I'm sure you don't want to hear the entire film synopsis, but long story short, the good girl gets jealous of her twin, injures her in a near-fatal accident, and then proceeds to spiral down a slippery descent into becoming like her sister. But she suffers along the way, fighting herself and losing her mind, complete with hallucinations and becoming a sex addict." A soft smile touched her lips. "Intense, huh? ... I think the reason it's different from Lush is because in that film, the emotions were more contained. They had to be kept under lock and key because of the character's abusive father, and the emotions needed then were more familiar to me."

That much was true; the film centered around the character's conflicting anger and love for her alcoholic, abusive father, and while her own father wasn't anything close to that, she still identified with the feelings attached to a neglected father-daughter relationship. It was much easier to repeat lines from a script and inject them with genuine thoughts and emotions when they held pertinence to one's life. Hyde and Seek, on the other hand, was something she had no personal experience in. Not that experience was required to act any roles (those who appeared as killers certainly didn't know what it was like to kill someone), but many actors found methodical acting to be of use. Many employed that technique to place themselves in the mindset of their characters, and it was successful to some degree. Katrina briefly considered it, but... no. Acting as Lily beyond the world of film probably wasn't a good idea.

RE: Hyde and Seek [Ariamella & Mr Quixotic]

Appear serene and relaxed, stay silent and allow them to speak. Even when they hesitated, don't interrupt, or ask another question, but maintain the benign, friendly expression, and pretend interest. Nobody, not even Psychiatrists, enjoyed awkward pauses, however Gerald was a man accustomed to them, and it was always the patients who broke the silence first, and that's where the majority of revelations came from. They needed to fill the empty void with words, and in their desperation to provide themselves that comfort, often what slipped from their lips wasn't as filtered as it otherwise would have been.

The Doctor legs stayed crossed, and his posture relaxed, as he matched Kat's hint of a smile elicited by the joke about Michael Rodriguez, and inclined his head in what could be taken as a sign of agreement. Make them feel comfortable, as if they were being listened to, and not judged. Or at least, don't make judgements which could easily be identified as such if you wanted to maintain the trust. His gaze settled on hers as he sipped his water, and although his ears perked up when she began to outline the plot of Hyde and Seek, Kat's voice remained the only one heard.

He was aware of Hyde and Seek, and that the film was to be provocative, and Gerald had already made up his mind to focus on that aspect, even before Kat expressed that she wasn't worried about the sexual component of the film, which elicited an internal raise of his eyebrows. In his vast experience, when a patient explicitly placed stress, unasked, on that which they stated they weren't worried about, it was generally their main fear.

When she was done, he dropped the pen he'd been absently twisting between his fingers, and nodded. "Interesting. I've run into Michael a few times, and the man does have a temper, however artistic types tend to be that way inclined. It's what drives them." The girl wasn't going to last long if she couldn't handle aggression or criticism, and that combined with her flat emotional state and tone, provided Gerald an idea of what had driven Michael to anger in the first instance. "That passion for their art, and that's what I'm wondering about you Katrina?"

He paused for another sip of water and cleared his throat, before he continued. "You referred to Hyde and Seek as a job, not as a passion. I've seen a number of child stars enter this office who were unable to handle the transition between childhood and adulthood, and that's because they entered it for the wrong reasons; the money and adulation, but in the end, they couldn't deal with the spotlight, the expectations or reality of failure, and some turned to alcohol and drugs. Even to suicide."

His eyes remained locked on his patient's, "So that's the first question you need to ask yourself, Katrina. Do you have the passion and drive to make a success of yourself, or is it just a job and, like those others, you'll give up when it all becomes too hard? If you don't have that passion, you should walk away from acting now. Possibly that's what Michael recognised in you?" What Gerald had spoken was the truth, except for the first part of his statement. Each of the others had also had the passion, you didn't gain work in this industry if you didn't, however in the end, they just hadn't possessed the talent. He hoped that Katrina was no different, and the words would encourage her to want to prove herself, and possibly strike a blow to her ego, as he also intended for his next statement to do.

Gerald's gaze didn't waver as he appraised the attractive actress across in front of him, the good-girl she'd, likely unknowingly, admitted to being with her references to that dichotomy in the film. Oh, this young woman now appeared even more innocent in person than he'd ever imagined, even after seeing her in her earlier movies. So unlike the Disney channel sluts he'd counselled, who'd already spread their legs for the majority of the cast and crew by the time they'd turned Eighteen - if only the audiences could peer behind the scenes, and get to know the real person they held up to their children as a role-model - and who'd only required a gentle nudge to have their careers sent into an unrecoverable downward spiral. This one was going to be fun. "And the second question, Katrina, is Hyde and Seek the right film. Do you possess the maturity for it?"

His tone was soft, and not in the least threatening. Fatherly almost. Concerned. "The emotional and sexual maturity. It may have been unintentional, but your voice changed when you referred to Lily as a stripper, as if you considered that profession to be beneath your status, and you envision yourself as a good-girl who'd never stoop to that level. I'm not here to pry into your personal life, but the emotions required in your previous film were, as you say, more familiar to you, which makes me wonder if you possess the life-experience to do justice to this performance. That can't be done if you're scared to release those emotions which we are often told should be kept private, and afraid to reveal yourself as a sexual being, or are fearful of how others may perceive you, if you do. Possibly it comes down to a lack of sexual experience, or childhood hang-ups, but Katrina if there's any reason at all, maybe not even conscious ones, for you to believe that there's something inherently wrong with sexual liberation, or with those who freely choose to express themselves in any way they desire, then Hyde and Seek is not the film for you." Gerald smiled. "Maybe you should select something less adult for the time being."

RE: Hyde and Seek [Ariamella & Mr Quixotic]

Do you even care?
What's wrong with you?
Do you really think you're cut out for this?

Katrina had heard this entire speech before, courtesy of Nicole Ellis (and more recently Michael Rodriguez), and her mind automatically began to tune the doctor out. It was all too familiar, and she could almost hear the voice of her mother on the phone the night before. The warm chocolate of Katrina's eyes turned steely as Dr. Miller spoke, and she adjusted herself on the couch, picking her feet up and tucking them underneath to half-sit, half-lay on her side on the plush surface. "If I wasn't driven by my own passion, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. If I didn't care, I probably wouldn't even have come." Her voice was still the same neutral tone that feigned nonchalance, but a haughty overtone colored Katrina's words. The girl flicked her gaze to the side as she fought back the urge to roll her eyes; she was tired of repeating this spiel over and over, even though this was the first time she had ever said it to Gerald.

To some degree, it was true that Nicole tried to live vicariously through her daughter, but it was still a profession that Katrina has chosen all on her own. No one had forced her to step forward for those youth theatre plays when she was a child; no one had forced her to audition for those teeny-bopper roles in her early adolescence, and no one forced her to attend a performing arts academy to hone her skills into adulthood. Her life had been somewhat publicized since birth because of her mother's short-lived fame, but never once did she feel as if she had to follow in Nicole's footsteps. She chose acting because she was good at it, and more importantly, it was something that she found joy in. It was the one aspect of her life that gave her an identity of her own and let her exercise complete control. The drive had been there as young as 10 years-old, and it was still there at 21 years-old in spite of those who wanted to see some sort of physical confirmation that she had passion for her art.

"And why shouldn't I call it a job?" Katrina asked, half out of curiosity and half out of defensiveness. "It's my career just as much as it is a passion. Staying relevant is difficult in this industry, and my concern over my source of income and livelihood should be understandable. It's a passion, sure, but passion doesn't pay bills. Like everyone else, we have to be good at our chosen careers. At least, we should be. That's not always the case, is it?" Her mind drifted to the actors and actresses she had met throughout the course of her life, those that appeared because they were a pretty face with mediocre acting skills. And for many of them, they had disappeared as quickly as they had come; peaking in a bright light and fading off into nothing, much like a meteor that burned up in the atmosphere.

She shrugged her shoulders. "It's not any different from you, whose passion and career is psychiatry. Being a doctor is a calling—or so they say—and one would have to want it for more than the money in order to be any good. Likewise, being an actress is impossible if I wasn't concerned about it as my job and how well I perform. As I said, if it were about the money, I wouldn't be here. If I wanted adoration... I don't have to be an actress to get that. You know?"

Actually, he didn't know, seeing as he this was the first time they had ever met, but the statement was true enough. Modeling, music, or even just being a socialite princess for her fans to idolize were things that were easier to do to get attention. Admitting it was selfish and almost conceited, but she hardly cared. Wasn't he supposed to be helping her? Discouraging her from acting didn't count as 'help,' not in the slightest, and it almost sounded as if he expected her to have the same issues as the others he mentioned. For once in her life, Katrina wondered if Gerald knew who she was related to, and she wondered whether telling him about Nicole was a good idea. Perhaps it would give him insight to her predicament... but on the other hand, maybe she'd get stuck with a stage-5 clinger who would be more interested in helping himself to her family ties than actually helping her. She hoped for the former.

Katrina frowned, a light scowl etching onto the delicate features of her face before she sighed. "To answer your second question, I'm not a virgin. It's not like I haven't had sex before, which is why I told Michael that I was fine with whatever nudity his film required." A pink flush crept over her neck and cheeks at the talk about her sexual history, and she crossed her arms over her chest as if it would somehow shield her and close off a definitive personal bubble at such an openly personal topic. "I'm not saying that stripping or any kind of sex work is bad, but I'm an actress and I don't need to have experience being a stripper in order to act as one. Julia Roberts played one in Pretty Woman, and she was young then too."

She frowned deeper at his final statement. "Don't get me wrong, I want this role, and I'd like to be able to be sexually open enough to portray Lily convincingly on-screen. But I have morals, and I don't want to be associated as an actress of sexuality. I want to be known for my talent. And more importantly, if I ended up as society's newest sex symbol, I'd never hear the end of it from Nicole. She's going to drive me up the wall with lectures, then constantly ask me about who I've been sleeping with and other things she doesn't need to know." Katrina couldn't help the eye-roll that slipped out then. "If I'm adult enough the handle Nicole, I'm sure I'm adult enough for everything else. So. I can do this film, and I will do this film."

RE: Hyde and Seek [ Ariamella & Mr Quixotic ]

Gerald rested his elbows on the desk when he’d finished his appraisal, and maintained eye-contact with the actress, keen to appraise her reaction to his statements, deliberately constructed to appeal to Katrina’s ego and self awareness. His lips curled up slightly at the corners, in what could be taken either as a smile or an expression of curiosity, and he attempted to gauge as much from her expression as the words she spoke.

Of course, he’d expected her to respond as she did in regards to her profession being a passion, however the actress still she didn’t display any outward signs of great emotion, and to the Psychologist her demeanour appeared deliberately self-contained, and controlled. How was she in bed? The same? “Words are easy, however, please recall that it wasn’t your passion or an independent desire to hone your talent that led to you making an appointment to see me, but a perceived lack of both that caused you to be referred, and in the film Industry, perception is reality.” The Doctor replied after his eyes had shifted over his shoulder to glance at the framed medical degree hung on the wall.

Psychology had once been a passion for him, and had remained so for the first decade of practice, however his rich, privileged clients, who’d listen to his advice, pay him $500 an hour, then go and do the exact opposite of what he’d declared would be to their benefit had eventually led to cynicism, and a dislike of his own clients which bordered on hatred. If they wanted to ignore his advice, and continue to fuck themselves up on booze, drugs and affairs, why not help them along. It’s where they’d all end up anyway. “The difference between my occupation and yours, is that I am not paid to display myself to the world, and for a couple of hours, provide others the opportunity to escape their everyday lives, by believing what they see upon the screen is real. Or could be. You can either take on board what others view from the outside, or ignore their opinions and expertise, and continue to believe you exude what they think you do not."

The Doctor’s voice had transformed from a soft, Fatherly timbre to one more blunt, and he’d moved further forward on his chair to close the perceived distance between he and Katrina. “What I sense in you is a controlled and emotionless young woman whose non-virginal status is irrelevant. I’d be more surprised if you were one at your age, and, as to your statement that experience as a stripper isn’t required in order to be able to portray one, that also works in reverse. A pole-dancer may not be able to portray a believable one on screen, and having had sex in reality does not mean that you can portray sensuality on film. That is a mental aptitude, mostly driven by the subconscious. If an actress believes that her characters actions are unethical or immoral and allows her personal views to bleed into her performance, the audience will see straight through it.”

Gerald shrugged as if to apologise for his directness, however his head didn’t move, and his focus on Katrina remained unwavering. He wasn’t in the least apologetic for anything he might say to upset the woman, and like Michael before him – though unaware of the precedent – he attempted to elicit a reaction. “I’m well aware of who your Mother is, and the irony is that whilst you declare that being able to handle Nicole indicates that you’re an adult, simultaneously, what you words tell me is that it’s the fear of her, and her opinions of sexuality that are holding you back. Not what you may think, but what she, and by extension others who do not even know you, may think. And what is that?

Without allowing the actress time to contemplate the question, Gerald went on to answer it himself. The man was on a roll. "That Katrina Ellis possesses emotions and desires just as they do, that she’s an independent sexual being, that she’s human? However, your Mother couldn’t allow that, could she, Katrina? Sex is bad, the root of all evil, and an act to be ashamed of. Hidden in the darkness, as should be your body, and causal encounters are the work of the Devil in disguise, offering the temptation of pleasure, but filled only with bad intent. Here’s the proof, look what it did to my hopes, my dreams, my career.”

Sarcasm momentarily dripped from his tongue, before he managed to reign it back in. “At twenty-one you should possess the maturity to have taken control of your own destiny and choices. You may consider that to be the case, but as I see it, it's Nicole Ellis who remains in charge of your moral views and sexual independence, and until you release yourself from her clutches, your emotions, sensuality and the real Katrina Ellis will never see the light of day. Neither will the Lily who Michael Rodriguez requires for his film."

His throat parched from talking, Gerald paused to take a sip of water, but continued to maintain eye-contact with the actress. His dislike for her, increased by the egotistical remark in regards to being able to obtain adoration - narcissistic bitch - burned in his psyche, however his facial expressions remained neutral. “You might be correct about Julia Roberts never having stripped, but are you aware of the research she put into that role? The time she spent with exotic dancers and high-class prostitutes in an attempt to understand the lifestyle, and get into their heads, so that when audiences viewed the film, they could believe she was Vivian Ward? Does consorting with such people make her immoral, Katrina, and lessen your respect for the woman, or does it simply make her an actress with a passion for her profession, who wished for nothing more than to provide the most realistic performance possible?

Then came the kicker. "As confident as you are that you can and will do the film, the decision is not yours to make. It is the Director’s, and dependent on the faith he has in you to deliver the Lily he needs for the production to be a success. Can you deliver what he asks for, or will your career pan out the same as your Mothers, the woman you so rely upon to provide guidance and advice? We’re only granted one life, Katrina, and should not allow someone else to live it for us, vicariously or otherwise, so grasp your own desires, and relish your sexual and emotional freedom, and Lily will relish hers. That's what being an adult is about." Finally finished, Gerald fell back and his seat, and stared at the actress with a raised brow, wondering if his words would have any effect, either then, or when she returned to the set.