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And He Pressed On

TicTacGuy123

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Jan 14, 2014
Hello! I began writing this story rough a year ago, and it pulled me away from everything (including this site and the RPs I had begun). So I felt that I should post what my end result was, and to see if anybody wanted to provide feedback. Please note this is only the first "chapter" (calling them chapters is a bit of a stretch. They are rather short) as I want to see some...I don't know, demand? for the rest (I'm self conscious about my personal writings). So with no further banter, enjoy!


CHAPTER I
What was this place, and why was he here? This was all Zed was thinking as he wandered through the fog. He could not remember the events leading up to his being here. What had happened much earlier, waking up, eating breakfast (although at the time it would have been considered a late lunch), and walking down the trail behind his home leading into the fields that spanned miles, all seemed quite clear and sharp in his memory. But how had he ended up here? He certainly did not recall this place in his many trips through the meadows. The memory simply did not exist. He pressed on.
The fog was thick, unnaturally so. The further Zed walked, the damper his clothing seemed to become. His vision was cut down to a yard ahead of him at most, with only silhouettes being visible even at that distance. How long had he been wondering on? He didn’t feel tired. He didn’t seem to feel anything really. No worry, no fear, no hunger or pains, nothing. He pressed on.

A sign had materialized out of the deep fog. When he was able to read the words painted onto the worn sign, he stopped. The City of Brokin, the sign read. Brokin? Zed thought. I have never heard of a city by that name, certainly not one so near my home. Zed stood in front of the sign paralyzed. This was a choice that was difficult to make. On one hand, thought Zed, I have never heard of Brokin. I’m sure I could just turn around and walk back until I found the trail. On the other hand, I may not find the trail in this damn fog, and a city would be the best place to find my way back home. Zed stood motionless. The fog slowly seemed to swirl around him as his mind ran through every possible option available to him. After several moments of silence, he pressed on.


If any more is requested (or if I feel like I should just nut up and get feedback on as much as anyone is willing to read) then it will be posted later on. Thanks, and have a wonderful day lovelies!
 
Interesting! He sounds dead or at least, how I would imagine one might feel as he wanders through the fog toward whatever passes for the River Styx in his mythology. But then we have the City of Brokin and that puts me in another curious frame of mind. I don't know enough, haven't got enough to know whether I would want to read the entire story, but I am definitely intrigued and would keep reading to learn more if this was a novel I had purchased or an eBook I had downloaded.
 
Jolie said:
Interesting! He sounds dead or at least, how I would imagine one might feel as he wanders through the fog toward whatever passes for the River Styx in his mythology. But then we have the City of Brokin and that puts me in another curious frame of mind. I don't know enough, haven't got enough to know whether I would want to read the entire story, but I am definitely intrigued and would keep reading to learn more if this was a novel I had purchased or an eBook I had downloaded.

I'll be honest you are the first person to get the dead vibe immediately! I obviously don't want to post anything that throws everything I've worked hard to build up in my story away, but I will say you aren't way off (closer than the guy who said he thought it was about the spirit of adventure >.>)
 
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