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Medieval Fun Time Land (Anyone can join)

The sounds of ViVi's passionate retort caught the attention of the wood elf noble, who was not more than s few steps away. Douchemitri was bisexual himself, but wood elf noble upbringing was just a hair shy of fundamentalism, and in order to retain a 'good' image it was what the man stuck with.

"She's using like, tongue and everything! These lady-gays need prayer!" Wood Elf faith centered around a mythical tree called The Oracle of Definite Divinity, or TODD, for short. TODD-centric religious doctrine is very much anti-hosexual, specifically towards women. After all, women discovering that they can get each other off without men meant fewer wood elf babies. There was much more to sexuality than that, but wood elves are not the most educated people by a fucking long shot.

The nobleman approached the two tongue tied women and raised his hands. He began to pray the TODD prayer of sensual purity, a traditional prayer that was meant to cure the "sexually defiant" of their desires.

"Let TODD reign its mercy down on the defiant,
Who have hot sex in ways that they shouldn't,
And orgasm in sin,
For to love and know TODD is not repression,
But everlasting Paradise forevermore!"
 
"Oh shit, that was, like, tongue and everything!" Lena gasped, and then whispered, "you taste like skittles <3" even pronouncing the little heart emoji before diving back in with even more tongue than before. This was awesome! There wasn't even any rape involved at all for the first time in, like, forever. Like that Frozen song, but with rape. Dmitrei's impromptu sermon was getting under her skin, though.

"Help!" she shouted, breaking their kiss. "I am seized by the wickedness of my lady-gay! TODD have mercy upon me, I cannot control my she-loins!" She began to frantically hump her crotch against Vivi's, bumping their uglies together through the layers of mutual armor which, to be fair, she had totally expected to explode before now. "Help me, TODD! My vulva is unnaturally inclined towards damnation!" Actually, something about the random, useless humping was kind of hot in a weird sort of way. Whatever, she was enjoying it.
 
Red was wandering through the forest, well into her precious, precious holy vessel of blessed spirits when suddenly, her priestly instincts called out to her! Of course they've done that before and it only turned out to be nothing at all or what other silly people called hearing things due to extremem drunkenness, but they didn't know her god like she did! Hell she didn't know him at all! Which was why right now she was going to follow the voices calling for salvation.

She raced the distance, avoiding the treachery of upturned roots and lack of proper coordination, stumbling into quite the scandalous scene! What she was seeing - no it couldn't be put into words!

"Such blatant sins cannot be allowed to pass!" She so hated this part, but the potentially damned needed salvation when they called out for it so much. Red splashed at small amount (enough to drench any normal sized person) of her holy spirits at the blasphemous elf, already into a sermon.

"An orgasm can never be sin! Let love flow free like - like happy hour, flow like happy hour! You never interrupt girl on girl! Drink of the holy vessel and abandon your sins!" Now if only she could work out which of the two noble dressed elves was the solid one....
 
Dmitrei was greatly distressed at Lena's rebuttal (not really, but a nobleman such as he can't openly like Yuri action,) and he began to shout the prayer over and over while becoming all the more frantic. He didn't even notice the young orc priestess approaching until he felt... Wet. Again. Goddmit.

Trying to save tgrcwomen from the gay was immediately put on hold as he snapped in the direction of the young priestess. "WHAT THE FUCK?! DO YOU PEOPLE NOT WANT ME TO HAVE CLOTHES?!" Upon further inspection he realized that she was one of 'them'... An orc.

The backwoods breeding of the beautiful man really showed itself as he began to rant at Red in anger. "You... You people, you ruin everything! Of course a damn orc shows up to create more chaos, just like you ruin forests with your savagery and take all of the jobs!" His face was red as the woman herself, as he breathed heavily to catch his breath.

But damn, even though she was a dirty orc, she was thick as hell. Tig ol' bitties and a phat ass, most likely..
 
The loudness of the elf in need of salvation was so very loud, loud enough to make for focus for a bit...nope there it went again. Clearly she needed more of her spirits. A good chug and everything was properly wavy and she could find the elf again. Of course in all of this she missed the second part of his rant but the first part was way too loud to forget.

"You don't want clothes? Why didn't you say so! I can grant that miracle easy!" Given how red he was, poor guy was probably overheating or something in all those robes. "I call upon the powers of the god of awesome! Stripping Hand!"

Sure her spell was more like her reaching out to just tear all his clothes off but hey, results were results.
 
Lena ceased humping Vivi's stomach for a moment as the whole situation turned suddenly orky. "I like where this is going," she said, unable to help drooling a little bit at the sight of Dmitrei's naked body. Vivi might not have been into cock, but seeing a nice noble example of elven breeding equipment certainly revved Lena's motor up even more. Still, she didn't want to insult the girl she was humping, and she turned her full attention back to planting a deep, squishy kiss on Vivi's warm mouth. "I think they can handle it from here," she whispered. "Want to slip away and fuck in the bushes while they're occupied?"
 
Míchon was a little overwhelmed by what had just happened. "Um... I..." came out of his mouth a few times, but never actually flourished into a full sentence.

That all changed when the orc priestess ripped off Dmitrei's clothes with a spell. He started laughing, lest he start crying or screaming (or both, maybe even all three at once).

He calmed down after a few moments, stepping over to Dmitrei's side. "Hey, I saw that you were stoned and needed some help getting free." He chuckled again at his little joke. "I gotta say though, that was a weird noise you were making."
 
This was turning out to be a very strange morning for Lugae. The fifteen year old mage had been walking down the forest path when he spied the strangest group he had ever seen. Four elves and a female half orc. The two female elves were entangled in sexual passion, and the half orc seemed to have been trying to molest one of the guys. The sight of the beautiful women did cause some natural tension in the young mage's loins, but all he could do was stand in the middle of the road and watch, his oversized hat flopping over his face.
 
Vivi started to lose a bit of her confidence now that her ire had dialed back a bit and she realized the ice was smashed to tiny bits.

"Umm," she flushed like card sharp on a toilet. "I... er... I dunno... I've, uh, never, um, done this before."




---------------------

MEANWHILE.

Some distance away in the woods, the half-dragon paladin METALLICA CRIMSONFABLE was snapped out of her meditation.

She sniffed and twitched her ears. "Hmmm," she mused. "My fun sense is tingling."

Standing up, stretching, and giving out a grisly growl, she did a few quick warm up exercise and flexed her dragon muscles before hefting her weapon, twirling it expertly as she marched off.

It was time to cockblock some fools.
 
"Oh wow," Lena said, suddenly finding the ground very interesting to look at. "I guess I'm not exactly 'the one' you've been saving it for." Who was she kidding? She was a slutty potion junkie, not exactly princess material.
 
Vivi hastily said, "Well I mean it's not like I'm saving myself, it's just... growing up I spent so much time on alchemy and murder I guess there was no time to, um. You know. Engage in... sexploration. And now that it seems to be orgy time I... am a tad nervous hahah."
 
Despite the strange group before them, Lugae found himself drawn towards them. Particularly tge orc's large breasts. He wasn't sure where this breast fetish came from. Maybe it was due to his mother breast feeding him until he was five. Regardless, those massive mammaries made his mouth water. Blushing darkly, he approached them. "Um, e-excuse me," he spoke up in a small voice.
 
Dmitrei gasped as he heard his clothes rip. He suddenly felt much cooler. Those stuffy robes could get really warm.

How does one react to being stripped bare? Shock and embarassment would be good places to start. However, Dmitrei had been bombarded with such shameful situations in the last 14 or so hours that the 'shame' part of his brain had shut down.

"What a funny one you are", he quipped to Michon. At least with his clothes gone, the stains and being drenched were a non-issue. "I WAS SCREAMING due to having my limbs being forcibly held into place. But it is so nice to have a comedian on our hands." He was doing with sarcasm.

"And as for you," he pointed at the orc-woman. "You-" before he could finish his thought, a tiny voice rang in his ears. He turned to Lugae and grunted "What do you want, boy?"
 
Red didn't quite understand the stone commentary, having missed that part of the rp, but she did understand getting high. She prefferred drunkenness sure but hey, she was judging.

"Stoned? Don't got none of tha stuff on me less you get high off the magic of awesome! Ooh, or that healing tingle, that's nice. If you wanna hang on the drunk side though, got a blessed vessel here!" She waved her gourd around, more alcohol splashing about. "Never been empty. Ever. So damn cool."

Oh wait, there was a new one there! Did she miss someone again? No matter. "Hey hatty kid, what's up?"
 
Lugae had heard of the aloofness of elves, but his gruff response to him still made him a little uneasy. The big breasted orc was much nicer. "I-I couldn't help but notice your group." he said, slowly making his waz closer to those massive orc boobs. "I-I am Lugae, mage in training."
 
"Group? Not sure if it's my group, just met them.....I think. Probably the bikini elf's group, she looks most feisty."

"As for me? I am Red Woodbane, priest of the god or goddess or awesomeness and all the alcohol. All of it."
 
God or Goddess of awesomeness? Lugad had never heard of such a diety, but it would be a good idea to travel with a priestess of him or her. "M-May I join you then? I may be young, but I'm a fast learner." Anything to keep him near those milk mounds. The two female elves had a nice set as well.
 
"Whoah," Lena said when she heard herself referred to as the assumed group leader. "Not my bag. We're following home-slice over there." She gestured to Michon, who seemed to still be freaking out about the naked noble. "Speaking of, uh, we're gonna have a strategy meeting. Over there. In private. Give us about twenty minutes." She took Vivi's hand and ran off with her into the brush until they came to a nearby clearing out of sight. "I hope this is a little less intimidating," she said, moving in to kiss down the assassin's neck. The years of constant murdering had really toned the girl's shoulders and neck, and Lena desperately wanted to see what the rest of her fit body looked like.

It was always a bit awkward to strip out of armor on the quick, even if it was just bikini plate. Without the enhancements of her gear, Lena's body was flat, skinny and unimpressive, a pale and vulnerable thing that most people tended to just pillage like unguarded farm land. "Jeez," she said, embarrassed at seeing that Vivi was still clothed. "Don't leave me hanging here."
 
"Wait people ask to join groups? Thought everyone just randomly decides to stick together until people get bored." This asking for things concept was quite new; orcs didn't exactly ask for stuff after all.

"Eh, that sounds like a yes to me hatty hat kid." At least she was taking it that way.
 
Lugae grinned brightly. "Thank you Miss Woodbane!" He dove into a hug, his head almost sinking between her breasts. He had to resist the urge to suck on the tender flesh.
 
"Ooh, you're a forward one!" Red had no problem holding up the small one, mainly because if she didn't, he'd probably fall off and she only had so many of the healing magic. This kept his face firmly stuck between her breasts, but then people always became so much nicer after that.

"No one manages to resist the draw of the ironboobs!"
 
[[A squirrel dives out of the trees and perches on Dmitrei's head, followed by several other woodland critters who flock to the nobleman and cling to his body, likely on account o him invoking the Wood Elf deity so many times. It's mating season for most of these critters, so this could get weird]]
 
Ardreth tumbled through the woods in a daze, a near empty bottle in one hand with a sweet smelling purple liquid at its bottom. He was completely out of it, intoxicated beyond reckoning on a self-made potion. His senses were more profound than usual and there seemed to be the sweet sounds of females in the direction he was heading among other ruckus. "Whither away, fair maiden, do you go?" He mumbled as if in a dream, chasing after some distant figure. He finally stumbled into the small clearing where Lena and Vivi were, eyes agape as he beheld the two elf women, one of them naked. He took a double-take at his potion, not knowing whether this was real or merely an effect of over drinking. "Who cares!" He suddenly declared, taking back another swig and tossing the glass bottle over his shoulder with a smile. He must be in heaven.
 
(Man, I miss out on a whole bunch of stuff when I'm not active for most of the day... lol)

Míchon coughed when Lena pointed to him as the leader of the group. "Uh. Yeah. I'm the leader here," he said, not sounding very confident. "I'm the leader," he repeated, saying it like it was some badge of honor. He approached Red and Lugae. He really hoped that the orc lady couldn't see what was going on down in his pants. Gods, she's heavenly... "If you two would like to join our group, you're welcome to." The dark elf proceeded to tell them of his quest, all about the village by the river under attack from Medusa raiders/bandits - skipping, as Lena had earlier when telling Vivi, the night at the tavern. "It's up to you," he said, even redirecting his attention to Dmitrei. "Hey, sorry about the corny joke. It probably was way too soon for something like that."
 
"Oh? Beating up bandits huh? I'm game!" Reaching out with her other hand, she pulled Michon into a marshmallow hell hug as well. "We'll be the best of buddies then!"
 
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