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Is rp sex cheating?

M

Masumoto

Planetoid
Joined
Dec 27, 2013
So for example on this site. If you just go with a random person and have rp sex while roleplaying as completely different people (or animals) is it cheating if they have no personal relationship?
 
Depends on the individual and their relationship with their partner, if they have one. Some partners are not okay with sexual roleplays, some are. If your partner feels like it is cheating, it's best to talk to him/her before starting. Some people are fine with it and don't consider it cheating. It can also depend on how personal the roleplay gets. If it's just smut, it's likely considered cheating. If it's a roleplay with mature themes, including violence and others, with a storyline that just happens to include writing through all the story including the mature parts, it might not be considered cheating.
 
What? I don't even....If writing about sex is cheating, then I guess watching porn or reading smut novels is cheating too.
 
Ok this is tricky... I'm kinda wavering between Vic and Trygon here...

Trygon has a good point, any act done with another person is considered cheating... You call a phone sex operator.... Or sleep with the neighbor... You cheated... So yeah... Cyber sex is cheating....

But... Vic mentioned smut novels... Well someone wrote those novels, and that's pretty much what RP is broken down into... So I suppose the question that should be asked in retort to this is....

Are we talking cyber sex... Or are we talking rp sex?

Difference being cyber sex is... "oh Try's cute let's take it to PM and get it on like raging monkies..." where RP sex has a story that sex just happens to fall into.... Not really the basis of the story but hey shit happens right?

Then of course after you break it down to which it is. You should really make sure how your significant other feels about it. I mean we can tell you it's not cheating til we're blue in the face, or we can tell you that it is... But in the end... Only one opinion matters... The person that you're worried about cheating on...

Course that said... If you're worried that it might be cheating... Maybe safer just not to do it?

I'm windy today... For that I do apologize. >^.^<
 
Trygon said:
I'd say any sexual act with another person is cheating, yes. Vic, your examples don't include another person.
Click to expand...
True they might not involve other people, but some women still consider it cheating. I think we need to broaden the definition of cheating. While physical cheating is the most common ala your girlfriend slipped and fell on my dick, there are different forms of cheating. While Newland Archer never physically consummated an affair with Countess Ellen Olenska, there was a lot emotions flying between the two. Archer's marriage with May was affected by this, due how disinterested he was with her and how he wanted to spend time with Ellena. Hell Archer even lies to May, about visiting Ellena. While yes my example comes from a fiction novel (The Age of Innocence), fiction can parallel with real life.

Snickerz - Why do you want to cyber with Try, but not me? Is my E-penis not good enough, for your e-vagina? Joking aside I think as long as someones fantasy, doesn't replace the significant other I don't think its a problem.
 
*giggles nervously biting bottom lip*
Um... Um... Well.. See um...
*blushes*
Can I plead the fifth on this? I've a feeling no matter what I say here I'm going to end up putting my foot in my mouth.

----

Basically yeah that's what it comes down to, but I have known relationships that have been ruined because of cyber sex/rp sex so asking your significant is like super duper important, because if they're not ok with it, if it makes them uncomfortable... You may lose them for an internet fling.
 
Don't hate on Snick, Vic. It's my fault, after all.

The author in your example wasn't directly interacting with the reader. RP sex, whether cybering or writing a story, involves someone besides your partner sexually stimulating YOU. The author writes the story for whoever wants it - Your RP partner is working with you, on you.

Cheating is - Any act for sexual stimulation with another person without direct consent of your partner.

In my eyes, at least.
 
I can't help but notice you said 'some women consider it cheating' lol, my only experience with this so far actually involved a man from here asking if I was married before discussing any rps. When I told him I was married, he immediately told me he could not RP with me because I was cheating on my husband and that made me an adulterer. It didn't matter that my partner knows full well what I write here and his absolutely no issues with it. It made me laugh a little. XD
 
*giggles*
It... It wasn't.... I really don't know how to.... Ok I got this... It was and is nothing against your e-penis Vic, I'm sure it's positively delicious... Trygon was just the example I used because... Well he was... See I can't do this without making my grave a lot deeper.

Oh there are men who are the same way too Kuro, that's a good point, shouldn't put it all on women. It's really a matter of perspective. I've role played with TONS of guys that were in relationships... Even tots non sexual and their wives accused me of sleeping with them (in rl from several states or even continents away)... I've only recently began rping with females, so I don't know if it goes the other direction is where my example came from, but you're quite right.... A man can consider it cheating just as easily as a woman can.

I rped with a guy once and I asked him how his wife would feel about it (when I learned he had one which was actually rather near to the beginning of our rp) he told me she didn't know about the stuff he did along those lines, and hasn't rped with anyone sense then.... Didn't want to tell her because he felt it would make her feel insufficient...

People are all different the world over I guess.
 
Trygon said:
Don't hate on Snick, Vic. It's my fault, after all.

The author in your example wasn't directly interacting with the reader. RP sex, whether cybering or writing a story, involves someone besides your partner sexually stimulating YOU. The author writes the story for whoever wants it - Your RP partner is working with you, on you.

Cheating is - Any act for sexual stimulation with another person without direct consent of your partner.

In my eyes, at least.
Click to expand...
I was referring to the relationship between Newland and Ellen, not the author and the reader. While Newland and Ellen never had sex with each other, Newland still cheated on his wife May. Like I said earlier, I think cheating can be more than just sexual stimulation.

Snickerz - He was what? I'd hate to see you being interrogated.
 
That's actually a good point ... Cheating can go beyond the sex.... Still say it comes down to the basics though.... Ask the girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/fiancée.... If they say no then it's no.... Varies with couples.

Mmmm... Should probably tell you I'm a tough shell.... Might have to get a little rough. ;)
 
We should continue this in PM, we've derailed the thread and I doubt others want to read this.
 
honestly I say it's not.

It's just a fantasy, nothing more. you're just indulging in a bit of harmless play. If you start developing a personal relationship with the other person beyond just being friends who roleplay together, THEN you're in the realm of cheating.
 
It's totally subjective and varies per person or couple. If there is no attachment to the partner, and the theme stays within the roleplay with fictional characters, then I see no problem. Once it becomes personal and moves into the partners relationship you are going into potentially dangerous ground.

And that's when its about what the people within the relationship consider their boundaries. Personally for me, cheating can be anything romantic, affectionate, or intimate that I feel should/would only be expressed in an exclusive monogamous relationship.

So if my boyfriend were to start writing smut with a friend and the characters happen to be him and his friend in the writing, then yes, I would have a problem with it. Also, if the adult themes of their writing (fictional characters or not) start to leak into the partnership, then I would have a problem with it.
 
I don't consider it as cheating.
UNLESS you have an actual relationship with your RP partner.
When I RP, I think of it as writing practice, to get a better imagination.
Nothing more.
If someone else thinks of it as something more, that's on them, not me.​
 
It all depends on the parameters of your relationship. Some people even find porn to be cheating, others don't care about other flesh-to-flesh sexual partners so long as the SO is put first.

If you're having issues with them, communicate. If it bothers you, tell them you feel insecure about it, whether or not they thinks it constitutes as cheating. Do NOT argue about the official definition of infidelity - you'll only hurt the relationship. Just say you're personally distressed. Don't blame them for what's already done, but mention you want them to stop. It's that simple.

If they have issues with you, it's the same thing. Don't argue definitions. That never goes well.
 
If you think your partner is betraying you by writing it sounds like you don't have a partner. Insecurity. Major.
 
I've got to side with Bucket on this one. On one hand, I can understand where the other side is coming from. Sharing a sexual fantasy with someone is something special. You're inviting someone else into the most primal recesses of your mind and I can see how that could be perceived as a threat.

Regardless of this, however, if you're specifying an issue with this site then your partner has serious trust and insecurity issues. Online role play is a beast all in its own. It's anonymous. I will never meet any of my partners here on Blue Moon. They will never know my real name or where I live (not an address, anyway). My writing partners here will never be anything more than (potentially) platonic friends with a common sexual interest.

I could understand the concern if you were participating in erotic role play with someone whom you know IRL, but that's rarely the case.​
 
My boyfriend knows well what I do on here.
I even give him the privilege to snoop around my inbox and threads.
He is happy that I am enjoying myself, since he does not fancy writing himself.
But, then again, that is my relationship.​
 
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