The Sharp, The Quick, and The Dead ((Me and ReaperDouble0))))

Thomas Alexander Bartholomou Tiberious Alexander Nathrindel Hellsing The Third, First class Sniper, God eye of the Imperial Army, High Badass in the first degree, wielder of the 199 symphony of death cannon, and many many MANY more titles earned in over a decade of magical combat with hi homes army was amused. Only those who truly knew him, knew how truly rare that was.

Thomas had recently retired from military service, at the ripe old age of 21. How a twenty one year old man, could have over 8 decades of service metals involved a war, two alternate universes, and the goddess of tie herself. But the simple truth was Thomas's story was multiple books, before he "Retired" and joined the guild known as Fairy Tail for an easy nap or three. Money for retired soldiers wasn't' great in the great kingdom, so the Merc with a mouth had joined Fairy Tail to enjoy the large breasts, and good stories while doing minimum work jobs. Unfortunately after a drunken three way with Kanna, Erza, and Lucy he'd been given a two week ban from the main guild hall. The gun singer and master of "Pervert Magic" was annoyed, but figured it was more for his own safety then any serious guild issues. He personally blamed the pictures of it ending up in both the paper and on the guild message board on Natsu and Happy, but he wasn't' sure how to prove it, yet.

So the perverted gun mage, and the only other mage not currently hunting for his blood or returning from a mission or wounded from a mission had been shoved together and given an S rank mission. Apparently a fire elemental was harassing a town n the outskirts of the kingdom, and him and his partner were finally set to arrive and in fact had done so a few hours ago.

Thomas looked like a mix of a western hero, and a modern day movie badass. He wore a fedora style hat, over white blond spikey hair A thick elaborately braided french braid of hair went to how lower back. The coat he wore seemed to both look ridiculous and awesome. Somehow it was layered to allow his arms under it, similar to a pancho a bit longer then his belt. While the sides and back continued down to his ankles. Black sunglasses with crimson frames hid his eyes the right dark blue, the left ice blue with three scars down it. Any time the pancho moved just right a trio of belts caught a skilled lookers eye nine massive storage gems, and three belts of them The number was ridiculous, but in a world where a gesture could send a beam of ice, storage gems were by far the least impressive magical artifact people wore. Thomas of the many long titles wore simple but comfortable looking jeans, and cowboy boots made out of the same leather fabric as his pancho duster. The only weapons found if one ordered him to remove the pancho duster were a single revolver under his left armpit, and three knives, one in each boot, and on on his right hip.

The reason for his amusement became obvious to him again, as he turned the sexual toys inn his partner to ma. Smiling as the village leader explained where he thought the beast was living. Thomas was less then slightly worried. The only reason this was an S rank mission was the Fire Elemental was a high level beast and an old one. Plus the village was rich and so could afford to pay the S rank price.

Trying to not get distracted by her urge to stand up and punch Tomas' face so hard he would fly all the way back to the guild, Lynette Vance, more commonly known as Lyn, staring at the village leader, major, chief or any other title you might wish to give to a person with money and power. Her thumbnails was slowly burrowing themselves in her middle fingers as to distract her from the annoyance that Tomas made her wear after she lost the previous bet. It was humiliating and she knew that he was definitely having fun just by looking. It annoyed her endlessly that she lost to him earlier, but there was nothing to do about it now. She just had to endure through it.

The village chief spoke slow. And when I say slow, I mean really slow. He made it seem like he was going to live till he was over a million years old and wanted to pull out the conversation for as long as possible so that he could kill some time as well as to be able to memorize exactly how Lyn's breasts looked so he could fap to it later.

Lyn herself was 19, two months from 20 years old. The young female stood about 5'6 foot tall, had a slim, curvy and very pretty body, like most of the female members of Fairy Tail. Her D-breasts held in place by a sky-blue bikini-top with some white stripes. Besides the bikini top, she would normally wear a pair of denim shorts reaching just past her knee's, held in place with a leather belt with a silver buckle. Her hair had an orange tone to it, but in light, it looked more blonde. Her hair wasn't frequently cut and reached her hips, hanging loosely as she never tied it up or something in those lines. Her tattoo was located on her left arm, just under her shoulder.

As the village chief finished almost an hour later, Lyn felt like throwing up. She felt so sick from constantly denying her own pleasure for such a long time. Also, the position she was sitting in made it all a whole lot worse. She was sitting in a traditional Japanese way, her heels constantly pushing towards her butt and the not-so-gentle gift from Tomas. When looking down at her hands, she could see that her fingernails had made several marks, even small cuts, on her fingers. None of them were really bleeding, but it was a tad painful to hold around things, or so she guessed at least. Right now, she was hating Tomas so much that if it wasn't for her high competition instincts, she would probably cut him apart on first glance. However, she was going to play fair and swallow her failure for then. It was so annoying that he barely beat her with one takedown. And that very takedown had been 1 inch from her blades as well, so if she had noticed that he was taking aim at the one guy, she would have taken out said guy before he had time to pull the trigger. But no, and there she had been sitting for over an hour with both her pussy and ass plugged as she had to suffer through the vibration while cancelling her own pleasure by distracting herself, while on top of that trying to pay attention to what the chief was saying.

"Thank you for your help. We'll return back here when the job is done" Lyn managed to say, trying to keep as much of her dignity in place. She barely managed to speak without letting out a weak moan, but, she managed to pull it off. She waved the chief goodbye and glared at Tomas to make him come with her as she left the room, heading for the outskirts of the village. At one point, she grabbed around the collar of his shirt and pulled him with her just to move faster. Her hands were trembling and she couldn't stand the people looking at them as they left.

Once they were a good 1 000 feet out of the village, Lyn fell down to her knee's on the grassy plain by the side of the road, moaning lightly. "I- Fucking hate you- so bad right now..." She murmured through her moans. The hour sitting there with the chief was going to remain on her mind forever. The humiliation. Right now, she felt it like she was one level under Tomas, something she definitely didn't like.

Thomas smiled, leaning down next to the woman, he let his hand rest between her ass cheeks. His middle finger finding the one in her slut while his thumb played with the toy in her ass through her shorts. Smirking he said "Why is that gorgeous?" Smirking he said, his breath hot in her ears "It's not like I said "By the blessing of Aphrodite let your pleasure flow be tripled", or anything." The thing bauble attached to a chain around hiss right wrist would glow pink before suddenly the pleasure flowing though her body was tripled. He rubbed the heavy leather chastity bet that resembled boxers as he said, "And I gave you this chastity belt, to keep your nasty juices from running down your legs.". His middle finger hit a rune causing the chastity belt to shrink and tighten, until it resembled a butt floss thong three sizes too small. He smirked as he said, turning the toys to maximum vibrating speed, "And I even gave you a rune of Aphrodite, so you wouldn't cum and ruin your pants until I removed the rune, seems awfully nice to me."

The sniper slowly undid the front of his jeans allowing his hard fat cock freedom. He slid it between her legs. Letting her watch as large fat drops of pre dripped onto her shorts and legs as he said lustfully in her ear "Yup the vibrations feel pretty good to me."

"Makes no fucking difference-" Lyn let out quickly before placing one hand on the ground, supporting herself. Biting her lip lightly as Tomas started to play around with the toy in her ass, Lyn started to breathe heavier. Her toes was curling up so her toenails started to grind towards the bottom of the sandals. She wasn't going to lose to him. Not like that. She could lose bets and she would take on the penalty, but that didn't mean she would let the other part win entirely. Like now. She had no intentions to lose to him.

As the intensity of the to- No, her own body's pleasure, increased, Lyn moaned loudly. "You're such- A fucking ass- I swear, when I win- Next time- I'll make you wish you were never born..." Lyn finished just murmuring the last bit. Fuck this, I won't lose to him... Lyn thought to herself, lifting her left hand up to head-height, biting the side of her thumb hard to distract herself. She could still feel the pleasure, and how her body loved it, but she felt it a lot less with something else to focus on. Her eyes were pressed together and her one free arm was like a claw towards the ground, yet another thing to distract herself from the pleasure.

As she felt the chastity belt shrink and change shape, it felt even worse than it already did. Or better, it's up to you. "I thought a perv like you- Were able to see what size of clothes people wore- But apparently not" Lyn finished, almost smiling for a second as she slowly got up on her knees, letting go of the ground, and her teeth moving away from her thumb which was now slightly bleeding. "You know what, fuck it. You're not winning this round. After she said that, Lyn stood up. Her body was still trembling and she was still biting her lips as she grabbed around Thomas' hand and moved it away. "Let's get going..." She murmured.

Thomas smirked cumming along the bottom of er pants and legs. He said "Ok beautiful".

Thomas walked easily the the fellow guild mage. Sooner rather then later they are at the Quarry the Fire Elemental had taken over. Most people would say a slow easy going solution was best. Thomas however was bored and wanted to get to his and the fellow mage's hotel room. So instead he pulled out a string of noise makers and tossed them into the gorge The resulting echoing explosion most certainly woke up the Creature and unfortunately a few dozen of his friends. A few dozen Fire Wraiths. Six Fire Gargoyles and finally fucking Fire drake.

Thomas swore violently. Alteast the fire drake was a lizard that had been modified wire fire based alchemy, rather then an actual baby dragoon. However their odds were still more "oh shit" then "Easy mission". Thomas growled "We are So charging the dude in charge a dozen times what we said, I'm guessing the Fire Elemental was all he saw stupid magic fire gem quarry."

Thomas smirked suddenly as he took a cigarillo from his mouth saying, "Guess it's time to get to work, GUN GUN, CINDY!"

In a massive blast of crimson energy "Cindy" appeared. The gun was a dark almost black blue, as Thomas said, "hell beasts of fire, meet Cindy, the Ice Bitch!"

Thomas held down both triggers, and as if someone had flipped a switch hundreds upon hundreds of ice based energy blasts few from the end of Cindy's multiple barres A single round was laughable to any of the given species of fire beast, but hundreds in a matter of seconds their regeneration could barely keep up as they were made into Swiss cheese. In a minute only the Drake, Elemental, and the Gargoyles remained, the gargoyles frozen in thick blocks of ice because of their duel nature. The drake's hick wings protecting it, and the Elemental's rocky arms and insane heat keeping the rounds from their full effect.

"You'll have to suffer without any cheesy catch-phrase from my side, it just seems too dumb to me to yell out every single attack before you do them" Lyn had, smiling. The thought of getting to unleash some hell on something made her calm down a lot. She looked at Thomas as he went berserk with his little toy. It was funny to look at. Mister ultimate pervert actually knew how to do anything but making trouble and fuck every chick around the corners. Despite how much she hated him, she had to give him credit for not being ALL talk. Just ALMOST all talk.

Holding up her left hand, a sky-blue magic-circle appeared just under her hand. Out of it, she pulled a katana, seven foot long and razor sharp. The circle disappeared as the whole blade was pulled out, which at that point, she had started running. The ground was warm from all the fire-based creatures and it helped a lot with keeping her speed up. The thin sandals would probably turn to dust if she remained standing at one point for too long, so she managed to push herself to continue running. She ignored the small fry as she ran through the immense heat and approached one of the six gargoyles. It was several feet taller than her, but that didn't matter. It's left wing was frozen to a bit of an awkward position, an invitation for her to slice the whole wing straight off. In the standard form of the gargoyle, she would have had to use another technique, but since it was already frozen by Thomas, it was just to slice straight through. Lyn took one small step back before grabbing the hilt of the blade with both of her hands and swinging the long blade from left to right, slicing straight through the solid ice, crushing it. At the moment she cut through the ice, Lyn changed the way she stood and sliced from left to right through the next block of ice, for then to once again shatter it to pieces. She could see the ice on one of the other gargoyles starting to melt slowly, so that one ended up being her next target. While running, Lyn pulled out another blade, that one being a six-foot claymore. The blade was stupidly heavy and she couldn't hold it properly with one hand, but after dropping the katana, she took the blade with both of her hands and started running again, slicing the ice apart in one long cut before letting go of the claymore that then disappeared into blue sparks. The katana came flying through the air and back to her hand as she leaped towards the fourth one of the beasts and sliced that one apart too. It took two solid slices though and even then, it was just barely that she managed to defeat it. Before she reached the two remaining ones, their ice had already melted. Lyn had to swallow her annoyance and had to return back to Thomas. "That fucking 'gift' of yours is nothing but a fucking burden, deactivate that shit!" She yelled at him. It was true, having to hold back at the same time as concentrating on her surroundings had slowed her down a lot. Without it, she would have easily sliced each and every single one of the gargoyles apart before they even started melting.

Thomas smirked, turning the toys even higher he said, "What was that beautiful turn it up higher?"

He jacked the toys up even higher as he released the Gatling gun, touching one of the stones, with his right hand and the other with his left, he seemed to ignore one of the Gargoyle's leaping at his distracted partner, pulling the bolt of the Massive Rifle back. However just as the creatures reached swinging distance he pulled the trigger, the subsonic high caliber round didn't hit them, it hit her blade using it's edge to sever the bullet perfectly in half. The two halves then both went into the gargoyle's eye sockets and out the back of their skulls, in a spray of glorious electric orange gore.

Then switching the fire mode on the rifle from single shot, to full auto, he emptied the entire clip. The sound from his previous round firing finally filled the quarry. Like the finger of god "Alexa" blows chunks of flesh from the Elemental arms, the Drake's wings, and a second round in what remains of the two Gargoyle's head. Letting the empty rifle drop he jumped down the side of the quarry. Moving past you with surprising speed he called "You can get your Dragon Slayer on."

The Fire Elemental is crippled it's elbows mostly destroyed. Thomas dodged the retaliatory breath of molten magma easily. Jumping on the damaged stone of it's arms. He raised two weapons quickly firing their rounds just as quickly, most of the into the creature's eye socket the rest it's face. It stumbled angry and went to strike at him. Thomas jumped and ran along the arm summoning Bertha, firing her, then cocking her and firing again. Her entire 16 shell tube is emptied into the fucker's face. Each of the rounds begins to melt as he back flipped and slid through the gravel. Then the slugs detonate. Around a hundred gallons of water from each shell is suddenly forced out causing the elementals head to literally explode. Even as the steam rises Thomas moved quickly. Using a pair of magic tongs to remove the magical core of the beast. It will make him a new gun. Turning to look and see how his partner doing with the drake he said "Need any help sweetie?"