Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave (Feel free to comment, post, PM, etc.)

November 28, 2012

Dear Blue Moon Diary,

I suppose an introduction, slight or otherwise, is the best way to begin yes? Just call me Yuna for now; while yes it is a nickname I doubt anyone would expect me to give my real life name away even if only the first one. At any rate I am 26 years old, as my profile says and have been roleplaying since I met my master and spouse, whom was my 'teacher' and introduced me to it.

It began with DnD and then it expanded onto similar types of RPs that Blue Moon has, only on a more teenager-friendly site. I was 17 back then. Ah, how time flies.

I used to role play on sites, namely Gaia Online, but when too many others became boring and illiterate, I left. I found this site on Google search engine and ... at first was honestly astonished at how bold people could be with typing such descriptive scenes into forums. Normally, that's not allowed. Hell, you usually get banned.

After checking several role plays out and convincing myself I could join here and not get in trouble for finally being able to express myself, I signed up. I don't think I've been happier to have joined a forum since then. Even though I've been here a bit less than 4 weeks, it's been very fun for the most part.

Despite having been with my spouse for nearly 10 years together and wed only 2, he's never been fond of being more ... like a Master with me, for lack of better wording. But yesterday, he finally hinted he was ready to embrace that side of him. I won't say it didn't scare me .. but somehow, it pleased me in a way to know he was ready to be true to himself.

Hehe, sorry in advanced if this seems a bit unorganized. I'm merely writing what comes to my mind first.

Anyways, a specific item that at least was on the news that I have been paying heed to are the states that desire to secede. I don't think it's been ended now [the discussion] but if it has, my bad. Still, I feel this a good place to rant on things that get my curiosity. This was definitely one, for a variety of reasons.

For one, why did it take for Obama to get re-elected? One would have thought this would have happened when he first ran, yes? Or is it just me? Regardless, the timing seems ... ironic to me.

But what is definitely the most intriguing part on this situation .... is one would think after a nation like America had such a massive Civil War, that the people would have learned one thing. Seceding will bring no good should people be so adamant about it. Though it isn't emphasized heavily on, that was the true reason that the Civil War began, not overly slavery. And how did it turn out?

We became united --- or I suppose remained is the better word. That is another thing I've wondered too; we founded the saying, "United we stand, divided we fall" back during the Revolutionary War, when we were in the midst of fighting for our freedom. Have so many people truly forgotten that saying? It's a bit of a shame really ... at least I think.

With any luck, Obama will take up Clinton's advice. Our economy was damn good when he [Clinton] was President. I don't think the middle class has been strong at all since then, in fact. But a lot of people forget that pro side of him, often recalling his affair against Hillary. True, this was a big deal, but it certainly wasn't all that he was remembered for.

Funny how you grow older and realize all that you didn't understand hm? I definitely didn't comprehend just how well off we were with Clinton and now that I'm 17 years older, I see what I missed. Ironic huh?

And for now, those are the main things that have been going through my mind. For those who read up, enjoy.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave

Dear Blue Moon Diary,
So it has been since the 29th and I've been stuck in the hospital. What me and my master feared to be a dislocated shoulder turned out to be pneumonia instead. It's worse and better at the same time somehow. I've been given so many antibiotics through IVs and my right arm is filled with multiple bruises from all the times they drew blood. It looks more like Master beat me ... but I know he didn't. We've both been getting annoyed; the doctor didn't come in until about an hour ago when he was supposed to swing by during the afternoon. So for me, 2013 is going to begin with me stuck ... here.

I hope everyone has a better 2013 than what I am going to start off with.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
Like a phoenix from the ashes, I am back. Cliche? Maybe but it's a damn good analogy as far as I'm concerned. However, I have returned .... with concerns, for lack of better wording.

I need to speak with my lover and Master regarding .... well us in general. I feel like we're getting distant. But the worst part ... is a lot of it is my selfish desires.

But I can't help it. It's who I am ... and I don't want to give them up. Alter maybe ... but just forget they exist? Never.

For those whom read my last posts in here, I finally got out of the ER on the 3rd of January. Gods was that a relief for me, needless to say and thankfully I haven't been majorly ill since that ... episode. Glad that's over.

With any luck, a few major but direly needed changes will come to me. Now more than ever, they're needed ... more than I wish to admit.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
Work has been keeping me and Veinexes rather occupied but thankfully, I have a chance to write and log on more frequently.

I've been .... better though everything could always be worse, no doubt.

Needless to say, I feel like I've been shoved on one hell of a rollercoaster ride that while normally I'd enjoy, I can't say I do with this one. For instance, my parents are in the midst of moving to Oregon as my dad's found a better job. I have no qualms with the plan; however they got this done so fast and abruptly that I may very well have to miss seeing my daughter for her 7th birthday as they intend to do the move in June, the same month as her birthday.

I just feel like sometimes I never get a say in anything they do. Yes, my daughter is with them. I suppose I should backtrack just a tad, hm?

Me and Veinexes currently live in a homeless shelter; this I won't go into details as to how. Not exact ones anyways; too long and even more depressing. Long story short though, a bunch of moves of our own went horribly wrong and my parents have never liked Veinexes. Well, my mom hasn't; but when my dad sides too often with her, that's all it takes.

After a stupid-ass assumption the shelter made and threatening me and Vein with getting CPS on our ass, I had to make one of the most difficult and selfless decisions of my life. I told my mom what was in the midst of going on and she was as angered at the idea as me. Ergo, her and dad agreed to take care of my beloved girl until we get settled, especially financially.

SSI has been helping to some degrees with this goal ... but given the shelter made me spend such a huge amount recently, it just feels like we'll never get the hell out of here.

Excuse my Tayuya/Hidan-like cursing fit but to say I've been frustrated lately is quite the understatement. the annoying sleeping schedule, if one can begin to call it that, probably isn't aiding me out much either.

Anyways .... I've been having a few contemplations, some involving my real life and others not as directly linked to my family, namely things like:

1. Whether to take up Vein's suggestion and see about a cheap flight to visit them. I still hate the fact he's trying to give up his chance to see his daughter ... though I do understand he'd be mainly remaining back to try to earn more money from his own job. From what I've been seeing though, too many are pushing $1000 dollars and if I'm to end up moving, I can't use up too much in my account. I'd heavily prefer to move out before this year ends .... but if need be, I can wait another damn year.

2. Whether to start writing erotic stories/fanfics. Now here's the main issue with this one; I kid you all not when I say my mother has the damndest ability with research. I'll give a quick example to hint what I mean. Not long after I first moved up and in with Veinexes, we lived with his best friend's mother. My own mom was able to find out not only her full name but number in the span of a couple weeks ... and neither of us even mentioned where we'd gone to. Creepy huh?

So ... if she could do that, I'm dreading if I wrote a book, got it published and then she found that out. It's pretty sad and stupid to be so afraid of one's own parent I can imagine ... but I truly fear if she discovered my writings, whether from here or otherwise, that she'd adopt my daughter and I'd never get to see her again.

I realize this is drastic ... but when I told her and my father I was possibly bicurious, she refused to accept even the possibility and said I had to be heterosexual. And that was way before I even had my daughter.

I just .... really am scared as hell of what she may or may not do. The simplest things upset her, somehow, regardless of whom they're from. A lot of people have asked me before if she and my dad had to be the ones whom took my girl to keep her safe and while I would have gladly tried to get a hold of Vein's parents, they were living out of state. At the time, my parents resided in the same city as me and Vein. If we hadn't taken actions soon, we definitely would have lost her; no questions asked. So .... unfortunately yes, I did have to choose them over any other possibility.

I almost wish that hadn't been the case though.

A saying her and my dad have always told me throughout the years is, "We just want you to be happy."

And yet .... gods the times she's gone against those words. A mix of that plus fear have been keeping me from typing up anything on a laptop, from seeing if I could actually be a decent writer -- enough to get published for it. And it's so damn stupid, I realize, that I allow myself to be this afraid, this scared.

But I feel as if too much is at stake .... and it's just .... making me restrain myself.

But the writing muse of me is pissed off, wanting to do something, anything. But it's hard to when you feel like you're in an endless loop ...

I just feel stuck ... hopeless ....

Hell, she doesn't even know I'm not only Vein's spouse but that we go as far as a Master/slave-type of relationship. There's so much her and dad don't know because if they ever found out .... so many bad things would happen. And with all I've been enduring even before having met Vein, I don't want to repeat similar concepts again; not if it can be helped.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,

Ugh ... been having the most screwed up sleep schedules as of lately. It's rather annoying. I'm sleeping from like 5 PM to 11 PM and then remaining conscious until ... 5 AM, some crazy crap like that. Vein's been falling into the same pattern as well. This place ... shelter ... is probably making us depressed as hell, I'd guess. Then again, I can't imagine any sane person would overly enjoy a place like here. It may as well be a prison even though it isn't with how similar it is. Same schedule, have to abide by so many stupid policies .... yeah we definitely need to get the hell outta here.

I wound up missing my kid's birthday ... only to find out they ended up moving like a week after said day. I'm kinda pissed honestly. I could have been able to be there for her rather than missing another year. I feel so pathetic .... and with how long I've been out of her life, I almost fear all I'm working for will go to waste. I'm scared that even if I do end up moving to Oregon or somewhere close by, she'll never want to live with us again because she's too used to being with her grandparents.

I .... don't know what I'm going to do if she even says that. I ..... *sigh*

To make things more irritating, I've still been giving into my anxieties and not attempting to write any fanfics or short stories.

Some days and nights, I don't understand why Vein loves me at all. I feel so useless .... unable to do much of anything.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,

Still the same annoying ass sleep schedule going on. Heh, go figure. Ah well.

And still haven't been able to get to writing anything ... so annoying! I want to so bad .... but I just can't seem to muster up the ability/courage/something. I know what I want to do it of too but ... I just can't seem to. It's frustrating.

Now ... if anyone who reads this likes incest RPs could you answer me something? Honestly?

Maybe if I get it from another person's point of view who likes it ... it'll make more sense to me.

But ... I don't honestly see the fascination with the idea of falling for a family member. The most of an incest RP I can do is if it involves Drow ... because it's more typical, part of their daily lifestyle in fact.

But when it comes to a more real life/modern setting ... nope. Almost never can go through with it.

So .... if you wanna answer me seriously, send me a PM on why it appeals so much to you and how you can make it work in an RP.

It's just one of those topics for me, at least, that my character would never voluntarily get themselves into situations like that. Why? Because it's considered too wrong.

I don't know, it may very well just involve the fact I was raised strictly to not look at anyone in my family as more than that .... and admittedly, I don't intend on encouraging any children [future and current] to look at me or Vein as more than mere parents.

If others feel that way about one another ... and both want it consensual, fine. But myself? I don't know. I just can't find inspiration to do incest RPs ... not modern ones.

I'm sorry if that sounds overly picky, especially seeing as how many here seem to like the subject .... but unless I get an abrupt change of heart and inspiration, I doubt I'll ever be able to do it.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,

Finally back now. We had originally looked at one car only to end up having to do so to another. But we weren't more officially informed until earlier today-- the mechanic had tried to screw me, Vein and the dealer over. So we said the hell with him and looked for another car that wouldn't need anything added [the transmission was supposed to have been switched for a new one but the chore continued to get 'delayed'].

Because we expected things to get done sooner though, we didn't bother considering taking our laptops nor expecting to end up staying at a hotel. Lesson learned I'd say =P

In the end though, it was all very worth it. The car we did get was 10 years younger and is a 2005 Kia ... Sorenta I believe. Mini-van at any rate. It runs beautifully and everything that needs to work does so I'm content.

I'm simultaneously tired and hungry --- though about to work on the latter.

I'll get to posts ASAP though; apologies on the seemingly abrupt departure.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
You know ... I've always been told love from one's family is supposed to be unconditional, always existing. But especially after yesterday, I can't help but question that. It didn't help I had to painfully dig into my past and seriously contemplate on quite a few things to make me think on it.

Yesterday was my brother's birthday ... so I called him up. What do I get? Immediate voicemail and no reply back. Not even a simple 'Thank you'.

No one has been supportive of me and Vein's relationship as spouses or even before then. And to this day, I still don't get why. He has been so much more loyal than my ex was, who'd cheated on me from day one. I won't say by any means Vein's been perfect because that's definitely not true. But I will say he's been a hell of a lot better than any other person to me.

My parents used to always say the main thing they wanted in this world was for me to be happy.

So why when I found a source of this did they fight so hard?

I suppose to some degree I can understand. I met him online maybe 3-4 months after my grandmother passed, her husband had done so 3 months before her even. So yeah, our family was still greatly mourning. And I definitely felt like no one really gave a damn about me --- no one at my school especially. So I quit to move up with him for a few weeks ... before they dragged me back down to Houston.

Now before anyone goes on and says I was rash, yeah I know. But at the time I was seventeen and if anyone does any research, Texas law does say at seventeen, you're not considered a minor anymore. You're thought of as an adult so, for example, you're judged as one if you get on trial there. So wouldn't that count as kidnapping to begin with?

I apologized - and have tried to - for my end because I did realize the actions were incredibly abrupt and whatnot.

But fuck sakes, it's been nearly 10 years now. And when I know my mom is going to leave this world still disliking my in-laws and likely Vein .... that hurts.

And to top it off, my dad's been pussy whipped by my mom to take her side 9/10 times. I know ... I've seen it more than enough times in the past. The brother I used to be close to .... has now practically ignored me as far as I'm concerned.

It doesn't exactly help that knowing in the past years, he's had a girlfriend. Granted, he wound up breaking up with her because apparently she wasn't right in the head --- to the point a restraining order was used against her. But I can say that my parents didn't make him endure anything close to all I've had to do just to remain by Vein's side.

And it hurts .... so bad.

Thus why I question if the love from my family is truly there at all. It feels like the only people who do are my child and my grandparents. The latter, though, were the same who passed all those years ago. So I can't talk to them anymore ... can't ask for advice or anything.

And right now ..... I'd give anything to be able to speak with them again. Especially on days like now.

I miss them ... need them .... someone ....

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
After what feels like forever, I've finally mustered up the courage to begin writing a fanfic. While it wasn't the first/original one I had in mind, I'm very content with how it's been turning out all the same. I've been posting it up on fanfiction.net under the same user name since I know not everyone's a Naruto fan here. I'm so ecstatic. I've gotten positive feedback and followers on this. It's a mere bonus but the fact each chapter's been over one thousand words minimum has only boosted my confidence. I never thought it'd turn out half as decently as it has thus far ... I'm glad to be wrong for once.

Tomorrow ... is going to mark ten years since Granddaddy left this world. Even now typing on it, I'm ... torn. There's the selfless part of me that's glad he isn't suffering anymore from the cancer. And then there's the selfish part of me that still wants to give him one last hug or say goodbye one last time since I never got to. I should be happy, I know, to have been able to move on at all. It's been anything but easy, but the pain lessens more and more each year.

All the same, it never fully goes away either. In fact, I could probably still be mourning a bit - only really to the point of just missing him and Nana - even 10 or 20 years later. I was that close to them both and the fact I was their eldest grandchild did not help me out. Sometimes they were more like a second set of parents than just grandparents. And I could go to them a lot, especially after having fights with my actual parents and seek out another voice or two for comfort, advice, both even.

And I've missed not having that anymore. It didn't help neither lived to see me at least graduate. They never got to know of Vein or their great-granddaughter ... and at least with the latter, I wish they had.

I know they probably know of her from above in the Heavens .. but sometimes these sort of things are more special to be able to see corporally. Even my dad's dad got to know her a bit before he passed a few years ago himself. Whether he remembered her well or not ... I doubt, due to his dementia. But still .... does it make any sense at all?

Even now, I'm trying to plan ahead on ways to be able to cope and handle tomorrow. A good crying fit honestly just seems like the easiest way to go. Me and Vein are going to see about spending the weekend over in Charlotte since we have to make a payment on the car today, probably in a few hours. But this time, I'm taking my laptop with me to be able to keep up with posts and such.

I'd like to believe that they're watching me ... proud of what I have been able to accomplish - in life and writing. But sometimes, I wish I had a more definite answer, a more definite way to know.

Goddamn, I miss them .....

Gone, but certainly not forgotten .... neither of them will be.

But perhaps the best quote was the one I found from a magazine. I can't remember the article it was originally written about, but the words matched Granddaddy so well .... so I cut it out and placed it upon a collage we made for his funeral in between some of his pictures.

"Love or hate him, everyone knew him."

Gods was that so true. He wasn't just my grandfather. He was a Korean War Veteran ... but perhaps most importantly, my hero, my source of strength. It's where I got my work ethics from ..... along with so many other things ....

*sobs*

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
I've been feeling like I'm merely existing, waking up every day to merely breathe and live. It honestly depresses and terrifies me. I don't feel like much of anything ... a woman, a wife, certainly not a mother. The last I haven't since I had to give my angel to my parents for power of attorney. Day after day, year after year has passed and I've been out of her life for so long, me and Vein both. I don't know what I'm going to do if I make the effort to move and she doesn't want to live with us again. She's been with her grandparents so long .... the thought of change and her outright rejecting it is making my heart ache and want to break.

If that ends up happening, all I've worked so hard to accomplish, to be able to be closer to her .... it'll have been a waste. And I'd give my soul just to ensure that doesn't happen. But I'm so fucking scared it'll happen anyways ....

Why is it the good people who have the worst shit happen to them? I've never understood that. I don't regret getting my child to a safer environment and in one where I can eventually see her again. But why the fuck me?! The house tried to accuse me and Vein of neglect - which, for the record - was actually amusing a 2 1/2 year old with video games, music, and TV to keep her from running around and breaking shit - but yet I see true abuse and neglect on a daily basis.

Two other mothers live nearby us, one with two children, one with only one. And neither even begin to act like a parent should. In fact, their behavior infuriated me so much that I wrote to CPS to report them. But apparently verbal abuse - including calling your own child 'fucking stupid' - isn't something they'll act upon. How not?! Why?!

And yet they were ready to take my child away ... without any proof?! What warped sense of justice is that?!

I want to be with my child again. I'm sick of missing her birthdays and holidays .....

Being away from her ... is like a good portion of my heart being gone. And damnit, I want it back ....

*continues sobbing*

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
IDay after day, all I hear from beside and across me are more and more screams. I still can't comprehend why two fiends can have the ability to keep their kids but not me? All they do is give so much verbal abuse. True, there have definitely been times the kids have acted out. But I have little to no doubt a good portion of that is caused by the way they go about raising them. I also admit that I wasn't always the perfect mom. Yeah, I lost my cool sometimes and got irritated with my child.

But never did I resort to low tactics like calling her "fucking stupid". I don't care what age your child is --- you shouldn't be able to say such things and avoid being arrested. But these two ... have been doing that ever since we moved to this new location 3 years ago in mid March. But more than I hate them or the justice system in this city and state, I purely loathe this shelter.

I can't forgive or forget how ready they were to take my own away ... and all without any goddamn proof of anything, let alone the supposed 'neglect' we'd been shoving. Tch, please. Get your fucking facts straight before going and making such wild ass accusations.

With my birthday coming up soon, I've tried to think on what I might even want. One ... I doubt will ever happen. But I really do miss Vein here. Don't get me wrong, I've thoroughly enjoyed meeting people here and all. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit there were sometimes I wish he'd just ... but I don't know. We already had that talk a while ago and it's part of the reason he doesn't log.

And if he genuinely doesn't want to, I don't wanna try to make him get onto a place he's not even beginning to have fun. It'd be unfair to him. But it still won't make my selfish side go away either; not fully. Somewhat, yeah. But not 100%.

The screaming and crying [from outside, anyways] has finally stopped .. but dear gods I've never wanted to go out and punch people as badly as I do these two bitches, one admittedly a bit more than the other. I hate how they treat their kids, hate that I have to fucking hear them every damn day ... I wish I could nod my head and leave.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
Thank gods! Finally one of my favorite times has re-arrived. For the past three years, I've been going to here and doing classes. Yes, I know it's Harry Potter based. Some of the plot and characters I was rather iffy on. But the overall concept of learning magical-related subjects... I definitely became fond of easily. So I registered after a friend recommended it .. and am incredibly glad I did.

I have 13 classes this year due to pulling a Hermione and taking all the classes that I can. It's easy enough with the two weeks they give in between lessons, thankfully. The first classes are always introductions .. but certain ones I've especially been looking forward to and am incredibly excited about it all. I'm also glad they put Necromancy back [even if worded differently .. ]. I was rather annoyed they took it away last year but let me have it in the 1st Year.

Hopefully between this and my fanfic, I can have more things to occupy myself with --- for the better.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
Earlier today, I had a lovely dream. I was holding my angel in my arms again ... snuggling with her and making up for lost time. Now I realize it was only a dream ... and dear gods, I'd give anything for that to be real. I miss her so much, it all but physically kills me. I hate being able to do practically nothing but count down the days until the visions can become reality once again ... but I know I need to resort to that for now. My beloved ... my miracle child.

*sob*

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
I officially gave caffeine completely upon the 5th of September. Amazingly, I seem to have taken to the changes insanely well. I thought it'd be more of a chore and struggle. I'm sleeping easier, albeit not always at the right times. But it's still no doubt a good change in pace all the same. I've been slightly exhausted despite all the sleep I've been getting and intend to see if it's merely depression or something else. It's easy to fall into such states with this ... shelter. But with almost nowhere to go, it feels like a slightly redundant point to ever attempt to get out. The fact me and Vein are still paying off the new car and using money for essentials -- food and gas, namely -- make it all the more difficult to try to leave, even if only for a bit.

Aside from feeling weary, I've otherwise been well and trying out new MMOs with Vein. The most recent one we have begun is Star Wars: The Old Republic. I have one Rebel aligned person and one Sith, with both more or less going into the assassin (-esque) prestige classes. Our Siths have found and joined an RP guild there and it's actually more organized than any others we've been on together.

Granted, we haven't overly tried to RP on many other MMOs so there are likely others that are also good.

I'm also trying to change what I eat, though that's much more difficult than having given up caffeine for several reasons. For one, we don't have even a stove in our room, making it impossible to make a lot of foods. But the other - and main, I'd have to think - is my food palette. It's always been incredibly sensitive. I did used to try to eat vegetables in the past. But if it felt or tasted too ... strong in my mouth, I flat out refused to eat any of them. It's been part of the reason I've considered liposuction .. and yet know all the same I'd have to stick to a more strict diet if I did.

Sigh

Overall, I've been mostly well save from a few other annoying ... issues.

To those I'm doing 1x1s with, if I don't reply sooner than usual it isn't because I've forgotten. But whatever has been making me tired is slowing my pace, to say the least. I do promise to get back to you all ASAP though.

I still hope and wish Vein would resume posting here once again. I really do miss him, silly as that may sound given we live together and all.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
I'm glad to have returned especially from my rather abrupt hiatus. My monthly snuck up on me so I've been slightly more tired than usual. Aside from that, I can't otherwise complain much. Vein is doing his seasonal job as he did last year. I'm proud for him and all ... but I'm genuinely terrified that when this ends, he won't be able to find something more permanent. That's one of the most key things we need to even be able to consider moving in half a year.

I've been in the midst of improving my RPing skills as a male with Minako2012. It seems to be going rather well on my end though I do hope the feelings are mutual.

I still wish Veinexes would come back here. Obviously, he has work and I won't try to make his obligations change. But he does have days off ... or even for when the job ends. Still, I feel so inadequate doing offline and more verbal-based RPs with him. It's harder to be descriptive with words ... though that may be tied into my Asperger's. I don't know .... I just know I miss him being here.

I'm still off caffeine, yes. In fact, it's been three official months as of today it seems.

Proud smile

I don't have much more to type on my end, I suppose.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
I started taking up blogging/making Top Best/Worst Lists lately. It's actually been really amusing, fun even. However, that wasn't what the main focus on this entry was going to be.

I'm going to take a lazy day - if not weekend - so will be back Sunday night or Monday, somewhere around there. I need to give my mind a slight break but I haven't by any means forgotten any of the RPs I'm in.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
With the holidays soon approaching, I'm going to take the time - as most here probably will also - to have an on and off break. But more than anything, I intend to spoil Vein, especially since his temporary job is coming to an end soon and we're unsure if he will be able to get a full-time occupation anytime soon. So while he has more free time and I have the chances - both during and before Christmas - I'm going to give him more of my attention than here. So posting will be slow but still done.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
With the appearance of the new year arriving, I'm hoping to make some changes. All - at least hopefully - will be for the better. And while most apply to my life behind the screen, I do have a few for here though not nearly as many.

I've been off caffeine for nearly four months now. I'm going to expand that to all sodas. And after some thought ... I'll put that into effect on my dad's birthday as an odd present for him. He gave up chewing tobacco years ago when I begged him to ... this is a way to sorta return the favor. I say 'sorta' just because he didn't ask me to do this; I'm doing it for myself. Still, I haven't forgotten that day despite me having been in 4th grade when he quit.

.... I likely sound old. Ah well, I'm pushing 30. Sue me.

For here, I suppose I'm going to better work on my wording, especially on my request thread. I have had a few people admit it seems .. intimidating. And to many degrees and aspects, I definitely understand.

In fact, I almost wonder if there's a point to making yet another main search thread ... to try to balance out things and avoid coming off as too demanding.

With any luck, we'll [me and Vein] finally be able to leave this damn shelter and get to our child. It's been far too long and frankly, I'm sick of having been out of her life for so long.

I'm definitely grabbing a bottle [if not two] of sake when we do leave and celebrating like there's no tomorrow. I don't usually drink ... but when that day comes, I will very likely break that rule, just to indulge on the long-ass journey I've had to endure.

Granted, I realize that even when I do leave here, I still have more to my life. And that's more than fine with me; I'm just so very eager and ready to get rid of what has no doubt been the worst years of my life.

Just like how 2014 is a new beginning, I'm so ready to start anew myself.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
With the new term on HEX officially beginning now, it's going to be busier than usual. I got accepted on Christmas Eve to teach History of Magic, years 5-7 as my signature hints. So I'm logging on there as both a student and teacher. And with the latter, I need to grade 3 separate years worth of homework assignments. At worst, I'll be slowed slightly but not so much I can't get back to people.

However, I probably will be wanting breaks more often than usual. It's a hell of a tiring task when all is said and done. Hopefully, it'll go smoother with each lesson. I'll be done .. sometime in March.

But the point is, please bear with me for those I am still RPing with. Thanks.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
Irked sigh

So I had a two hour nap or something of the like. And now ... I'm wide ass awake. Ugh. And I just got my sleeping schedule to a more normal one a few days ago.

Groans at self, shaking head from side to side.

Ah well. With any luck, I can get that figured out again .. somehow xD

The teaching on HEX has been incredibly fun. A tad stressful but that's mainly because I'm teaching three classes as my signature hints. I only write up two lessons thankfully since 5 & 7 are done at the same time. But I do have to write out three sets of homework questions because the same ones can't be used. The lessons have actually kinda been helping me better my writing skills out. Essentially, it's like doing an RP but just for yourself so aside from learning again about what happened in the Harry Potter books, who people are, and such I'm also improving myself. I'd have to say the worst part on these lessons is I've been writing them all in HTML as it is actually required. So I've had to re-teach myself bits of that; but it's added a challenge factor which in turn does the same for a fun one.

Yeah so I'm weird. >.<

As of yesterday, I'm giving up all sodas regardless of whether caffeine is included or not. So no Sprites or Fantas or anything of the like. This is a hell of a big step but I'm confident it'll work out for the best. I have been without caffeine for over four months now; so I'm hoping my body will adjust to the lack of soda as easily.

I'm in the midst of getting paperwork done and approved for being able to get a kitten soon. I'm really excited though a bit nervous. I grew up in an all-dog home. My parents never believed cats and dogs could coexist. I don't believe that's completely true .. but that was then. This is now and I can't wait. I would have gladly gone for a puppy .. but I also remember how annoying it was trying to house train them. And given me and Vein are constantly needing to keep our rooms clean .. yeah. It wouldn't be good. Plus they bark and two single moms, each with kids, live nearby. So it wouldn't be good to get bitched at for a puppy being slightly noisy during the night, especially with one being an infant still.

But aside from that, I'm so happy and excited!

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
Irked sigh

Fuck sakes. I really look forward to the days I can sleep more normally again. This is... frustrating, albeit a huge understatement of one. I'd give anything to close my eyes and just fall asleep with/beside Veinexes. How he does it is beside me. But goddamn do I envy him for being able to fall asleep with almost no troubles.

Bleh, my mind's drawing a blank. I have tons of things I want to say and yet find myself at a loss when I try to type them.

I think I'll try again. Try, of course, being the major keyword but still ...

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
As of late, I've included some new things to do offline during my week. Tuesdays I do musical therapy for example, Wednesdays I do a campaign via Skype. So replies will be slightly slower than usual. And I do have a week before needing to post up the next lessons for HEX so I'm in the midst of working on those also. I have years 5 & 7 done, working on 6 at the moment. Thanks all for bearing with me.

On a side note, we're getting our kitten Monday! I'm so excited! We've gotten everything ready and I'll likely post pics up once we get .... well the one I'm looking at is a boy. But it depends if someone has already adopted him or not.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
Happy dance

We got him! Yay!

I posted him up in the "Post Your Pets" thread but here he is again .... our beloved kitten Ares~




Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
I've thought long and hard on things, mainly my ability [or lack of as of late] to log here. And honestly ... I don't know. I am half-quitting and half-not. I include the latter because I'll allow for anyone who so desires to reach me either via AIM/Skype. But as of late, I haven't really had it in me to log on and resume with any thread/forum-related RPs. I truly am sorry, especially because I know that's a rather selfish request given some people just don't like/use messengers. But for now, it feels like the right thing to do.

I may return at a later day when I have more ... inspiration? Something that's been lacking. But for now, I need to do what feels like the best answer for myself. And for a reason even I can't fully pinpoint, this is it. For the time being, I'll probably just log on to bump my search thread but that's about it.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2

RE: Memoirs of a Real Life Lover, Wife and Slave


Dear Blue Moon Diary,
So ... a bit over a week eh? Figures I couldn't stay away for that long.

Small smile

I really, really am so sorry to everyone. I probably seem like the most fickle person here, taking one hiatus so abruptly, returning, rinsing and repeating this cycle of sorts. Gods I feel so moody and to some degrees, I am from my PCOS. I won't blame anyone if they never want to see me here or RP with me again. But do know you have my most sincere apologies I can give or offer.

That being said, I will lay the same options out on the table as I did last time with my previous partners.

A. We can resume whatever RP we were doing
B. We can start up a whole new one
C. We can just stay in touch as OOC friends
D. None of the above
E. All of the above

As I said in my request thread though, please do get a hold of me - even if to say 'Fuck off' - through some method, be it PM or a messenger on what you wish to do.

Until next time,
LadyYunaFFX2