A Questionable Excuse

Dylan crossed his legs, something that was incredibly unpleasant. The pain only made him harder though. He looked at Julian intently as the head of the toy entered the smaller boy. A small box had come with it. And that boy was still in Dylan’s hand. He turned it around, recalling that they hadn’t used the vibrating feature before. What was the use if it wouldn’t fit?

Dylan bit his lower lip as the rod went deeper into Julian. The other’s moan made him groan with frustration. He wanted it to go in faster. He wanted to hear Julian cry out in pain. He wanted all 12 inches to force the other boy over the edge.

Walking up to Julian, Dylan fingered the base of the plastic. “I said all the way,” he said, not giving his boyfriend a chance to obey him. Instead he shoved the toy further into Julian, slowly at first, giving him a chance to protest. However, it didn’t matter if he did. Dylan wouldn’t have listened anyway. His hand gripped the end firmly and he rammed it into Julian, ignoring the natural protest that his body gave. No one could handle such a thing and he couldn’t help but be glad that Julian wouldn’t be able to walk right for days. He took the toy out slowly and slammed it into his boyfriend again, and again, and again, with force that had been known to make people bleed.

Julian had forgotten to look back at Dylan at some point, focusing so hard on trying to fit that toy into himself. The boy groaned as he pushed it in a little further. Maybe he had around 4 inches inside. It was difficult because the thing was rather thick, and the lack of lube really didn't help.

But then he heard Dylan step over to him. A lump welled at the bottom of his throat. He knew something bad would happen now, this wouldn't be a pleasant experience. He should have just been a good boy and listened to Dylan the first time. A soft groan came from Julian's lips when Dylan began pushing the toy in. He tried to loosen up to let more of the thing in, but it wouldn't work out that way. Dylan seemed insistant though. "Nnh... Dylan..!" Julian squirmed when he felt more and more push into him, shoved even. When the thing was fully hilted in he was squirming and whimpering, his hole clenching around the thing. His thin fingers went back to grab Dylan's wrist after the next few thrusts into him. It hurt terribly now, he couldn't pretend that it felt good. "Dylan please! Please stop..." It was close to a scream, a plead even. He had little pools of tears in his eyes, but was not yet crying. "Please..."

Power hungry wasn’t the right word to describe how this made Dylan feel. He wasn’t just hungry for the power that he now had over Julian; he needed it. He was no longer a scared little boy. He was past begging for the pain to stop. He was past crying. He was past listening to anyone. And Julian, even if he was just a whiny kid right now, was still someone. Dylan would never listen to him. His opinion wasn’t worth it. Sure, he loved the other boy, but respect and love were two different things. And Julian should have known by this point that the former just wouldn’t happen. This time around, Dylan was the strong one. And he could do whatever he wanted.

He ignored his boyfriend’s pleas for him to stop, only working at him harder. If anything, his cries made Dylan harder. “You wanted this,” he said, holding Julian’s hands away; immobilizing him. “You said you would do anything. The Jules I know isn’t a liar.” The nickname wasn’t sacred anymore. He had thrown away that one piece of tenderness. He continued pumping the long piece of plastic into Julian, only now harder, if that were even possible. After a few more times he turned the vibrator onto high, wondering how Julian would react to the new sensation.

Julian didn't see this as a power game. This was just the way that things were. And he was ready to accept that. But something about this was out of the ordinary. It might have been the drugs, or it might have been the extensive pain that Dylan had caused him, but Julian was not afraid to plead and ask his boyfriend to stop. He really needed it to stop... The drug was still active, but it didn't mean that he didn't feel the pain.

"I didn't want... Nhh..." It came out in a breathy groan. "I wanted you..." He moaned out as the other continued to pump the plastic into him. He was still hard, probably from the speed. But he had been taken to another place with this pain. "Dylan..." A loud moan left his lips as Dylan shoved it in, turning on the vibrator. That vibration struck a chord in him, pressed right up against his prostate. He bucked his hips forward and moaned eagerly. "Y-Yes..."

All it was to Dylan was a power game. Sex was never about pleasure, except for when he was high or drunk. It was about proving that he wasn’t a submissive little wimp. He didn’t know why Julian was acting so strangely before, for he would have never guessed that the other boy would ever do drugs without him. But he was happy that he had broken him out of it; made him cry really. Despite the implications of it, he really did enjoy the sound of Julian crying.

He turned the vibration off, yet kept the rod inside of Julian. “You wanted me?” he asked with a sneer. “And now you want this? How badly do you want this?” He turned back on the vibrator for a few more seconds. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, he turned it off again. “Beg.” The demand was short and unclear, as he was willing to leave the choice of what he was going to do up to Julian.

Sex with Dylan had always been confusing for Julian. Here he was a virgin, thinking that it should be more like love-making than what Dylan had introduced him to. Dylan who had quickly overtaken him and convinced him that his body was something to be used and that Julian should not be affectionate towards him unless he asked for it. The boy bit back a sob, a tear breaking from the pool in his eyes. It ran down his cheek onto the sheets.

His breathing became erratic as the other turned off the vibrator. That had been the one redeeming thing about it being inside of him. "Please... Please." It was a broken sound, like he was no longer aware of what he wanted or what he was begging for. Really he wanted this to be over and could think of nothing more creative to beg for. "Dylan..." He looked up to his boyfriend, more than a few tears had spilled from his eyes at that point.

“You call that begging?” Dylan smirked and kept the vibrator inside of him, not turning on the vibrations. “You’re pathetic.” At this point, he wasn’t trying to make Julian happy. That wasn’t even in his mind for the near or distant future. The sound of the smaller boy’s crying had his hardened member throbbing. He let out a soft moan as another sob left Julian. He kept his grip on the other’s hands and forced him down onto his back. The mattress kept the toy where he had shoved it and when Dylan moved to sit on top of Julian, the pressure pushed it further into him.

“If you do a good enough job with your mouth, I’ll take it out,” he coaxed, stroking his and Julian’s cock in unison. The other boy was still hard. The pleas were just lies. Julian deserved what he got, and even if he didn’t, Dylan couldn’t care less.

Julian didn't want to beg for it anymore. He'd deal with what he could, but this was really starting to get to him. If there was any point that he was close to breaking, it would be now. If only he knew just what this was doing for Dylan... The boy certainly didn't think his boyfriend thought this felt good to him. So then why did Julian think Dylan was doing this? Well... That was a complicated question. It seemed Dylan was teaching him a lesson. Why?

"I-I will..." He murmured, pressing his hips forward and mewling at the attention to his cock. It was almost too sensitive now, to the point that if it was touched it would hurt. "Please!" He wanted the chance to fix this.

He wasn’t even thinking of the fact that he was hurting a living person, let alone his own boyfriend. He loved this position; controlling everything that Julian did, how much pain he was in, how much he cried. The amount of power was driving him into cruelty, and he loved it.

Dylan let go of the other boys cock and pressed Julian’s hips into the bed, causing the vibrator to lodge itself even further into his boyfriend. He could only imagine the pain that it caused, and doing so aroused him more, to the point of being painfully hard. “Are you fucking deaf?” he yelled, yanking Julian’s head up by his hair, “I told you to use your mouth. Why don’t you ever listen to me?”

Julian was beyond the point of overanalyzing this. His head was so strung out with delusions and pain, and that drug had been far too active on his empty stomach. He couldn't think of the last time he'd eaten an actual meal, and it definitely wouldn't settle well on a slice of apple. Dylan was disciplining him. He needed this in his life. It was good that Dylan was here to balance him out.

The boy didn't hesitate after that, leaning forward to suck the tip of Dylan's cock softly before he took more into his mouth. He hoped this would be good enough. But when Dylan made him slam the toy back into him, he let out a loud sob, and it racked his entire body. It also sent a lovely vibration up Dylan's cock.

Dylan groaned loudly at the vibrations, closing his eyes and bucking his hips forwards. “More,” he managed to groan, placing his hand on the back of Julian’s head. He pushed Julian’s mouth further along his cock as soft, some would have said sweet, moans left his lips. The other hand reached behind Julian and gripped the hilt of the vibration, pulling it out before pushing it back in, again and again to the same rate of the smaller boy’s sucking.

If Julian went faster, so did Dylan, And if he went slower, Dylan would has well. If he stopped though, Dylan would bury the toy as deeply into Julian as possible. The pressure built up inside of Dylan until he couldn’t handle it anymore. He came with a loud groan and rolled off of Julian, not bothering to fufill his promise, simply laying there, completely exhausted.

Julian did not correlate the thrusting of the toy with the way he worked over Dylan's cock. Instead he just closed his eyes and did the best he could, remembering all of the experience he had with this. Dylan liked getting blow jobs. Which made sense, because he liked having power and control over Julian. But again, Julian didn't make the connection here, instead he just leaned forward and sucked Dylan off as he knew how to do best.

When he ended up stopping for a moment to catch his breath he felt those frantic rough thrusts inside him, burying that toy as deep as Dylan could. So he tried to maintain breath through his nose and swallowed when Dylan came, licking the last bit off of his lips. When his boyfriend finally pulled off, Julian closed his eyes and arched his back a little, slowly pulling out the toy in increments. An inch at a time. And he had to take a few moments in between to try to keep his composure. It hurt.

Dylan lay on the bed, sprawled out and breathing heavily. It took a few moments to compose himself and function normally again, and once he was capable of forming a full thought, he actually looked at Julian with something that wasn’t animalistic lust. The younger boy looked a mess; tearstained cheeks, bruises everywhere, eyes closed as if he was in a great deal of pain. Perhaps Dylan should have felt bad, but he didn’t. He had done nothing wrong; simply punished the boy who was his anyway. He’d actually done something right by preventing the same mistakes in the future.

But a small part of his brain held the fact that Julian had asked him to stop. Wasn’t fucking someone who said that considered rape? No, this was his boyfriend, not some girl who he didn’t know. You couldn’t do that to someone who belonged to you. Yes, according to the world of sex-ed classes and Public Service Announcements it was possible, but the world wasn’t shaped by what authority said you could and couldn’t do. And so Dylan continued to look at Julian as he helped himself out of his position, no guilt in those blackened eyes of his. Except for maybe a little…

Julian pulled the whole thing out slowly and kept his eyes shut the entire time. When it was finally out he opened them, bright green eyes tear stained and still filled with tears that threatened to overflow. He panted a few times, letting out little whimpers as he curled into himself. Now he was really coming down from the drug. That, and having Dylan fuck him so violently... It wasn't anything that Julian desired.

But yet he still put up with it. He put up with it because he was of the same mindset that yes, he did deserve it. Yes, he did belong to Dylan and his boyfriend could do what he liked with him. Julian genuinely believed that. So he slowly curled up, but couldn't bare facing Dylan after Julian had been so horrible to him. Slowly the boy turned over, his back facing Dylan. Dylan could seem more bruises then, and the way that Julian's ribs stuck out on his back, along with his scapula bones. It wasn't a completely starved look, but it was verging on the fringe of it. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

Dylan gazed at Julian for a few moments, his eyes traveling down the other boy’s body. The bruises, the bones, the way that he curled up into himself. It made Dylan’s heart pound faster and his eyes come to life. Sometimes, he didn’t even know why he was nice to Julian. It was obvious he would stay with Dylan… no matter what.

That was probably what cause the mistreatment of his boyfriend over the next few days. Well, it may have been that, or it may have been the fact that for the first time in years, Dylan was sober for more than two days. He did it for Julian, despite his harsh words and quick fists. He also did it for himself. He needed to prove that he could stay sober… that he wasn’t like most of the adults in his childhood.

Perhaps this was a bad idea. For four days straight, Julian was on the receiving end of Dylan’s anger. He called the smaller boy terrible things; insulted his weight, his personality, his family. And he dealt more blows then he would have liked, though nothing was quite as bad as THAT night. Not a drop of alcohol touched his lips though… until the fourth night when he got the phone call.

Of course, Julian was in the bedroom when it happened, as it was fairly late, and so he couldn’t have possibly seen the young college student slam the phone down. He also couldn’t have seen his tears, or the way that he wiped them away angrily. However, when Dylan stormed into the bedroom wordlessly, his mouth set in a hard line and his eyes red, Julian probably did see him. He quickly opened the closet door and pulled out a half-empty bottle of Vodka. He opened it quickly and took a generous sip, wincing as the colorless liquid burned his throat.

Julian lived the next few days as best he could. He was recovering from the bruises, and the likelihood of a few bruised ribs. He was also recovering from the battering of his arm, which was healing, even if very slowly. His parents didn't pay much attention to the fact that he was gone, he called them and told them he had a last minute retreat from a friend. A Christian friend. To them, it was someone who could save his sinning homosexual soul. So of course they didn't think twice about accepting.

He'd called into school as well, having Dylan say he was his father. It all worked out well. And despite the occassional fist or angry words thrown at him, he tried to keep strong. For Dylan. Dylan who was doing a wonderful job at avoiding the drink. Dylan, who loved him enough to actually quit. Julian hardly felt like he was worth that decision on his boyfriend's part.

But after almost a week of going without it, when Julian saw it in Dylan's hand he couldn't help but say something. Well, maybe not 'say.' The boy jumped up from the bed with all the strength he had. "Dylan!" He practically screamed, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. He didn't attempt to take the bottle. He knew better than that. "Dylan stop!" He tried to pull Dylan's arms down at least, so his boyfriend couldn't take another sip.

Dylan shoved Julian off of him halfheartedly, not enough to hurt the other boy, but enough to get him away. It was just a drink. Julian was overreacting. He was 19; old enough to make his own decisions. Vodka wasn’t going to kill him… though he wouldn’t have minded. He took another swig, coughing once it traveled down his throat.

“Fuck off,” he murmured, his voice hardly a whisper. He sank to the floor and rested his back against the wall, taking a rather large gulp before screwing the lid on and pushing the bottle away. “See, I can control myself.” He still spoke in the same pained whisper, only now it was barely audible through the sleeve of his thin sweater. It was a lie, and a poorly told one at that. If he’d been alone, he would have drank ‘till he passed out. God he was a sissy; getting upset over something this trivial. However, he couldn’t bring himself to think that way and an inaudible sob wracked his body.

Julian stepped back when Dylan pushed him away, but when his boyfriend slipped to the floor Julian leaned downward, pulling the bottle away. He shoved it far across the floor, then leaned down onto the floor himself. He paused there, not quite sure how close he should get to Dylan at this moment. He bit back his hesitation and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around the other boy's shoulder. He buried his face in Dylan's neck.

"What is it...?" He knew something was wrong. There couldn't be no reason for this, unless Dylan had simply broken. He couldn't handle the pressure. "Tell me..." He sat there, with his thin arms wrapped around Dylan. The other boy could shove him away if he wanted, but Julian actually had an iron grip. Of course he would when his boyfriend was this upset...

Julian may have not been very warm, but Dylan welcomed the warmth that he did provide with little, if any, hesitation. What was wrong? Everything was wrong. His whole damn life was wrong. Dylan wanted nothing but for people to care about him; stay with him and be there for him. So what if he had no choice but to make people stay. It was only a small flaw. But now it was as if nothing was ever going to be okay again.

He hugged himself tighter, not wanting to be alone. Now he had no choice. ”I’m invited to a wedding,” he announced, a fake smile reaching his lips. He didn’t bother to maintain it though and only a brief moment later, he fell apart. “My mom’s getting married to him. Isn’t that just fucking great?” He laughed bitterly. Dylan had never told Julian much about his family. However, he was just a little bit drink.

Julian kept his arms wrapped tightly around Dylan, not wanting to leave his side, even though he knew there was probably some anger welling there underneath. "Dylan..." He murmured, pulling himself closer. He wasn't trying to be affectionate, instead he was trying to be there for his boyfriend. His boyfriend who had helped him through so much. His terrible parents. Dylan had heard it all. But now that Julian thought about it, he couldn't think of when he'd heard much of Dylan's parents. He knew that they weren't together. His mother was with another man. But nothing more than that.

"Shh. I'm here..." He murmured against the other's ear, his lips pressing against it. He paused and nodded his head, listening intently. Julian was a listener at heart. He genuinely cared for other people. Far more than he did himself. "To who...?" He murmured, knowing that in Dylan's mind the other was elaborating.

“Her boyfriend,” Dylan answered as if it were the most obvious answer in the world, “After I told her that he was a-“ He caught himself almost saying too much. His anger was starting to show now, though it wasn’t directed towards Julian as it usualy was. It was just… everything. The anger went away as quickly as it had come. “I told her that he was a bad person. She never listens” And why would she? He was just the kid that she’d never wanted in the first place.

Dylan let Julian hold him, though it was out of character, he didn’t mind. At least someone was there for him. When he had told his mother that he wasn’t going, she had told him very clearly; if he didn’t go, she didn’t want to see him again. He wasn’t going to ruin the best night of her life. In other words; if he didn’t go, he had no one. He had Julian sure, but he was going to leave eventually… Dylan just knew it. With the realization that this was the last person left in his life, something had changed. Not something huge, just the knowledge that no matter what; he couldn’t let Julian go. He looked up from his arms, cold resignation in his eyes. “She never wants to see me again,” he confessed, his expression falling apart.

While Julian might have had to deal with parents that hated his existence, he didn't know what Dylan had to put up with. And after hearing what he had to say, the boy frowned and pulled himself closer to his boyfriend. His parents might have been angry at him, but they had never told him they didn't want to see him again. "I-" He leaned forward and pressed a little trying kiss to Dylan's cheek. "I'm so sorry..." He grabbed his boyfriend's hand, intent on holding it as tightly as was physically possible.

Julian didn't even know what to say. He'd never dealt with a situation like this before. "I'm here for you..." He squeezed that hand that he'd held. "I love you..." It was a promise. A promise that Julian would always be here and never leave.

Dylan simply sat there for a few minutes; not saying those three words that he knew he should say. What was love anyway? His father had ‘loved him’ yet he’d still left, his mother claimed to love him and had let him get hurt, day after day. He’d told her too. He’d told her that it hurt to walk and when she’d asked why, he’d shown her the blood on his boxers. Yet she had still decided that a fifty year old stranger was more trustworthy then a little boy who was her son. He’d gotten a beating while the man who he was supposed to call daddy had gotten fourteen more years and now a wedding.

“Let me have another drink,” he said hopefully. “I went four days without anything. That’s proof that I’m not some, raging alcoholic like you thought before.” He squeezed Julian’s hand and looked up at him with pleading eyes. The level of drunkeness he was at now was hardly; a bit more of a person then the Dylan that everyone knew. “Now you know I’m better than that.”

((Again with the quote but no reply... On your phone? ))