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Apologies for unintentional misconducts

rahatingt

Star
Joined
May 27, 2009
I just had a falling out with one prospective partner. The mistake as I looked back seems mine even if unintentional. I have had problems such as these before though very rarely and in most cases I have been able to explain myself.

I have never intentionally gone against my partner's wishes here or in Elliquiy. But I do have my blindside that make my action seem so sometime if I'm not too careful. I most often write as if I'm talking to someone, spilling out things as they come and not thinking of consequences or the fact that I cannot explain away what I'm thinking when someone's reading something of me.

To explain what I meant is that, I had a game in the process of setting up with a new partner. Our interests and plot themes matched real well and despite my dog tiredness due to a very hectic schedule I was very much looking forward to the game. So in all brilliantness I quickly replied with some prospective outline for the game, some possible character model for her character and mine etc.

It was quite an innocent PM actually if you have played with me before. When I say things like that they are all my thoughts, an explanation of what the fantasy of the game as it come to me. My partners who know me already would counter with what they like or hate about it, or that they want everything to be a surprise. What the PM would come to for a new partner would be an attempt of god modding, forcing my wishes on her even if that wasn't the case at all.

A few similar incidents has happened before when I didn't put the details of my thought in writing and caused for misunderstanding which I have been mostly been able to honestly apologize for and explain away. But this failing of mine is real and I do try to remember that but its hard.

My biggest attraction in a game is knowing that my partner is loving the premise and the writing. Against my surprise, I have found partners that have loved and enjoyed my writing and that has been a privilege. I personally believe that I write the best when a partner really clicks with my thoughts and give me posts that simply inspires me beyond my own apparent capacity and I have always been grateful for those posts, even though often enough I have forgotten to acknowledge that.

So this post is an apology to the specific person and to others who have ever felt slighted by me but also to appreciate those who have inspired me time and again to go beyond myself.
 
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