The thoughts and wonderings of a nerdy, shy, quiet guy

I don't usually do online journals. Nothing wrong with them, just as the thread title indicates I'm not usually one to display myself and my thoughts to others. Being a little guarded and shy can kinda give you a strange slant on life that would, and does, for the most part make it a little difficult for me to talk about even nominal thoughts with others I'm not familiar with. However, since I've done so much on BM that I haven't done before, and been able to rp with some interesting, and awesome people here I guess I feel comfortable enough in detailing the musings of a homebody, who by his own admission thinks WAY to much about nothing and everything.

I can't say that this thread is going to make any logical sense,nor will thay be very interesting to most lol. But will probably rather just be a spot to get a few of my stranger thoughts out in the open. Maybe for once in a long time not feel like a crazy person lol.

So I guess to kick off I have a few immediate thoughts that have kind of struck me lately for absolutely no reason at all....

For some strange reason I always feel a little uncomfortable when people who don't listen to any form of metal music lift up the horns. Don't get me wrong...I don't see any good reason why they shouldn't be allowed to. Simply put its a hand gesture. However at the same time the horns in a weird way are a symbol. A symbol of a group that much like many other deviant identities is usually shunned by the general populace. In that sense I being a person who considers himself as...While not deviant in the tradition sense, an outcast from some (though certainly not all...Not even close) mainstream identities and concepts. So to me the horns represent a...Badge of honor and pride in that I have something that I can turn to and know that that is in some way is a part of me. A feeling that I think everyone wants to have. And when someone who doesn't listen to metal throws up the horns...It just kind of feels like a cheap and non existent understanding of what they symbolize. At least to me. However on the flip side of the coin...Who am I to tell people what they should or should not be allowed to do? I would want them to experience the notion of doing the gesture and I guess if they enjoy it...What harm is it really doing?

Keeping in line with the above I must be the whimmpiest Metal head ever. I'm a little adverse to confrontation, in fact I'm a little more than just adverse but that's beside the point of the matter. The whole notion of a mosh pit just...I don't know it just worries me more than a bit. Also maybe its my love of other types of music but I find that I don't fit any of the stereotypes that would categorize a metal head, at least within the community. I can't really say from the outside seeing as I'm already on the inside and although I understand the general concept of the outsiders idea of a metal head...I don't particularly fit in that one either...The thought alone is rather head scratching to me.

This might sound like a needless piece for some but I have to at this moment give a gratuitous shout out to all my roleplaying partners. All of you guys know who you are.

You are all awesome and I cannot thank you all enough for bringing me out of my shell a little and really making this already great RP forum that much greater. Seriously you are all amazing roleplayers and the fact that you want to RP with me just warms my heart.

Well since its been MONTHS since I last posted something, I suppose I might have to... Perhaps, find something to post about I suppose...

Hmm, that's kind of a difficult one...Mainly because, well, I can be rather boring. And I mean boring!

hehe, now that I have had a laugh at my own expense I suppose I can find something to talk about.

Perhaps this will turn into a ...Stream of consciousness, thoughts on meanings and symbols about film thing...

With that I should probably mention that I am a student of film. Not to attempt to set up some kind of set of credentials (Considering that I really don't have any yet ) but rather so my mind can ease itself into some form of understanding...

As such let me explain that I have not seen every movie, that might actually be literally impossible, and this question always seems to be the one that my friends seem to ask: "How have you not seen X...You love film, and your studying it." To this I have to answer...That I am a human being. Pure simple, and to my knowledge logical. It would be impossible for me to declare that I have seen every film, even those that are technically part of the popular culture and identity.

Anyway.... Enough of that, I suppose that it would be best to start with films that I have recently seen.:

The most recent film that I saw was "The Birds". An Alfred Hitchcock classic. Really for my money one of two films that really for the most part is what people think of when they think of Hitchcock as a film director (even though he has a looooooooong list of prior films and even well known, highly regarded films.)

The birds was an interesting experience, and really (in my opinion) an interesting look at whats known as the Armegedon genre of horror film.... I of course won't spoil anything for those that have wanted to watch it and all I can say is that well, you need to watch it! Sure the effects are cheesy but were very, very, very advanced for their time. And the film didn't start the way that I expected it too, and as a result it actually intensified the rest of the film... So well, Redking says you should see it lol.

Well so much for a review of a film and its themes, but really its a film that you can look at and apply a lot, and I mean a lot of different meanings based upon your own thoughts.


Well, that was long...Oh well. Any of you that have made it this far deserve and electronic cookie!

I get a cookie!!! Holy Canoli Batman!! I got a cookie!! Oh my.... let me clear out some of the cobwebs in here. It's been what? Two months? Since you've posted in this thing? I'm bored and at work and snooping around on Blue Moon and came across this.... again, lol. You are SO sweet RedKing. My favorite role play partner, duh. No other hopeless romantic out there compares to you. If you're ever bored, I can multi task. Like, juggle another role play. Or something... oh! Is this a Peanut Butter Cookie? Yum. Nom. Nom. Good Luck with the job hunting mister!! Just don't wear yourself thin. TAG! You're it! lol