The gates are locked (ladydarkness5 und Caspian)

Zepar had fallen, fallen hard it seemed. In the desire to spread God's word of love, he had learned pride in his own work. Spreading love everywhere he went, he began to think himself the source of love and desire. His own pride in what he thought was his own gift to bestow on man and womankind began to go awry. Love was his gift, but he gave it according to his own plan and not that of his Creator. Love became something infectious and it passed uncontrollably from Zepar to the mortals. Men would become enamoured of other men's wives. Men and women would betray one-another because of the conflict of love within themselves. Since he never really understood gender, he would even pass love off with men unto men and women unto women. While this did not seem to affect himself any, he learned that this was not his place. He was not supposed to determine who fell in love with whom. He had taken a role upon himself that was above his station. As a result he was cast out from heaven. He could go anywhere he wanted, but the realm of heaven was locked to him.

Zepar had always identified himself as a male, even though Angels had no sex. He would take on a man's appearance and attire when he was corporeal. He had never taken to pairing with a man or a woman, he simply spread the gift the Lord had given him to spread.

Zepar had been cast out with many of the other fallen Angels. It was then that Zepar had learned of his own pride and was responsible for his own fate. Zepar felt spited and held to a fate he did not deserve. If God's message was love, and Zepar was to spread love - was he not doing God's work? Zepar did not want to acknowledge that he put his own works ahead of the Lord's, that his desire to bring love between two people interfered with God's wishes.

Zephyra has always been an angel of light ,and hope. She was the one who fought for peace and harmony to people. She always obeyed God's law, and punished those who didn't. Yes she was the angel of jugdment, she judged those who did wrong, to be placed in hell. To those who did good, to come to heaven, where their soul can rest. there are those who are at war with the angels,a nd those are the fallen ones. Angels who had thier wings clipped, for refusing to follow the rules. She was the judge of that also.

Since Zephyra was neither man nor woman, she didn't care for such things as love. she did however toke the form of a woman,a pure virtious woman. who knows no wrong, no hate. She knows purity ,and rightoueness, thats who she is none can change that. until she met Zepar.

Zepar had been banished from the heavens and he found himself wanting. He was hurt, thinking he did not belong among those whom god had cast out. Zepar, in his desire to share the love he was to bring, did not follow the call of the other angels who were cast out to do battle, really. He just wanted to be with others and to share the love that flowed from him. He would share his gift with any who would receive it. For God was love, and if he were to share love with his fellows and with the humans, he would still be doing God's work.

Zepar never lifted a spear or a sword against his eternal brothers. Instead he would spend much of his time in Purgatory, speaking with other angels. Some of the angels were still blessed with the holy divinity of god. Others were in search of forgiveness. Since Purgatory was where the souls were purified before going to heaven, many angels thought they could undergo the same purification process. None had been forgive and let back into the provinces of heaven, but that did not prevent them from continually trying to gain God's good graces again.

Zepar recalled Zephyra from his days before the garden of Eden. While they had never been close as friends, all Angels delighted in the presence of one another before the war. Love and Light were kindred souls, though Love had more pride and was therefore more easily wounded of the two. When God cast out those who had gone against his will, Zepar had thought that all of the Angels that were of kindred souls would have been cast out together. The fact that they weren't just made the pain of God's anger all the more hurtful.

Zephyra knew Zepar before the garden of Eden, before Lilith became the lustful demon she was now, before adam and Eve underwent the greaest sins of lust and passion. they were not close friends, but they had conversed before he was banished. She knew no sadness, for she was the angel of Jugdment, when God was ready to give the angels in purgatory another chance. it was she who must enter the realem.

To judge which angel would be forgiven, and sent back into heaven, or not be forgiven and sent back to the realem. To await another Judgement. The time has come for her to pass jugdement again. She bathed herself in the waters, of the holy river. To keep her body purified, while the other angels prayed for her safe journey, and to remain pure. Since most angels,espeacially those who toke the form of men, would do anything for get her to plead them forgiven.

Her thin angelic frame rose from the water,droplets coming down her naked body,as she dryed off, and clothed in her bright white garments. After doing a prayer of her own, she opened her bright white wings,and descended down to purgatory, where angels awaited for her judgemen. Where in this place you are in neither heaven nor hell, but in between.

Zepar sat at the bottom of the mountain of Purgatory. He looked up at the long climb and the tall mountain. He had never deemed himself ready to climb the mountain. He knew in his heart that he was only doing as God had commanded him, and yet he knew that what he did displeased his Creator.

Instead he sat at the bottom of the mountain talking to the lost souls of men and women as they approached the mountain for the climb to Heaven. Some he knew from his own touch. Men and women who were not sinners by nature, but whose love was sanctified in God's eyes. The unmarried, men who loved men and women who loved women. Those too young to understand love and yet who professed they were possessed by it. By talking with these souls, Zepar had at least a sense of what he had done wrong. He knew his crime, he was simply unable to ask for forgiveness as it was his nature to allow everyone the chance to love.

The only beings that could not feel love were the Angels themselves. They could feel lust and desire, but they knew not what love truly was. Only Zepar, of all the angels, could feel what God meant by love - or so he thought. God was love, and all those that followed him in heaven knew Love. Zepar was one of only a handful of outcasts who knew God's love and what it meant to love another.

Purgatory was a home for many who had love in their hearts, but had not know God. Socrates, Plato and many other philosophers had called Purgatory their home at one point. Those with unrequited love were also plentiful among those in Purgatory. They all climbed the mountain eventually, to be judged. To be allowed in or to be sent back to the bottom to be purified again - until they were ready to receive Heaven and vice-versa. At the top was Zephyra, she matched the purity of others against her own. Few could shine as brightly as Zephyra, and no one could outshine her radiance steeped in the light of Heaven.

zephyra appeared at the top of the moutain of pugatory. watching the lost souls of men and women,climbing the tall maoutain hoping for forgvness. Most of these souls had sinned, greatly some have not. Thats was for her to decide. angels know no love, only lust and desire. she had not felt those, for any man. zepar was the only one who knew love.

He tried to share it against God's will, causing men to cheat,and lie to their wives, men to love men. Women to love women. To her love was a foolish thing to die over. She has seen wives kill their husbands, to be with another. She has seen men , stab their wives repeadtly in a jealous rage. Her time of passing judgement was now.

Zepar wondered why it was that God had never given the gift of love to angels or to his servants. While Zepar never actually felt love, he felt like he understood it. It was the greatest gift that God had imagined and it had caused a great rift between men and the angels. Had Adam not loved Eve, he never would have eaten the apple from the tree of knowledge. Had Abraham not loved God, he never would have offered to sacrifice his son. Love could overcome fear, anger and any other emotion if it was nurtured. Zepar knew that it was powerful, but he never knew how powerful it was until he saw the worst atrocities committed in it's name.

He never understood the pain of adultery or longing and he could not understand how one person was only meant to love one other as a partner, as a husband and wife. He spread so much love that strange illnesses came upon those who followed love into lust. They spread disease among each other, some dying from loving too many. Zepar wanted to feel love. He wanted to appeal to god, so he began the climb up mount purgatory. He would appeal to Zephyra, though it may not have been her place to forgive him on God's behalf.

zephyra kneeled on top of the montain. Waiting for the souls to come up,and be judged. Her pure white wings, closed behind her. She was a true vision of beauty. her skin smooth, and healthy. Her body thin, showing some womanly curves. Her long blond hair, put up in an up do. Not a hair out of place, except for two single strands. To frame her face.

as the souls came up, each kneeled before her, she would touch their head,and look into what had caused them to come here. One man murdered his whole family,when he found out his wife cheated on him, and the kids were ot his. She shook her head, and jugded him unforgiven, and to be sent to hell. The other was a woman, who had a job as a prostitute, in order to have money to feed her child, but she died from a killer. zephyra saw this as an act of kindness, since sh ewas only trying to give her child what she wanted. She was forgiven,and sent to heaven.

after about 20 or so souls, about 15 were sent to heaven. She thought she was done. until she saw Zepar climb to the top, she looked at him confused. Why would he still ask for forgivness. "may i ask, what you are doing.' She asked the former angel.

Zepar stood underneath Zephyra, unrepentant. "I am here because I would like to speak with our Creator. I feel as though I have been wronged and he will not speak to me on this earth, so I wish to speak to him in Heaven. I only do his work for him, and I serve him tirelessly. Why did he forsake me? Why did he send me to spread his love, only to hold back from giving it to me."

Zepar looked at Zephyra and pondered, wondering if she could know love. Love was both things, it was giving and coveting. In many ways it was its own balance and its own source of misery. Love was something that should have been shared among the Angels, but it was for the mortals only. A select few Angels knew love, only Zepar and a handful understood it.

Zephyra looked at the former angel, kneeling before asking her for forgivness. "because Zepar, your spread to love, has caused murder,and painful acts of lust and desire. Men killed wives out of jeasoulsy. Women killed their husbands, to be with another. Kids as young as 13 getting birth to children. men loving men, women loving women. its unforgivable.'She said.

Her stare showed pity for the man.'Us angels, we do not know love, we can never understand what love truly feels. we are not supposed to experience love,or give into desire or lust, we are to remain pure,and virtous.'she said, standing up, to ascend to the heaens. 'Now if there isn't anything else, I shall take my leave.'she said.

Zepar was wrathful and wanted nothing more than to go into a terrible rage, crushing everything in sight. He wanted to hurt, mostly in retribution of his own hurt. He wanted to ask God why. He wanted an explanation, but knew he would never get one.

He knew Zephyra was uncapable of Zepar could not give an angel love, he knew already. He could only give the small gestures that alluded to love instead. So as he turned away he reached up and simply stroked the side of her face with the tips of his fingers, then turned and descended down the mountain of purgatory.

He devised that he would not give up, he felt owed an explanation. He wanted to understand the unknowable mind of God. Being eternal, Zepar had an eternity to find out anyways.

zephyra watched the former angel,go through a battle asginst rage,she knew he waa hurt,and deep down. She wished to heal his pain,to gove him comfort,and to ease him.it was forbidden for her to get into a relationship,with another angel.She is supposed to stay pure. That changed when she felt his finger,go across her smooth skin.

she turned to face him,while he descended.'what was that?'she questioned herself,the feeling she felt.When he touched her skin,made her want more.She always wanted him to touch him,and she was going to break every rule in the book to do so.She sighed,and descended down after."zepar,what was that?'she asked.'when you touched me,i felt like i want more of you,like I always wanted you.'she said.

Zepar paused for a moment, explaining love to other angels was like explaining the changing colours of the fall to the blind.

"That was a touch,an embrace. But it was something else, in that case, Zephyra. That was something personal and for only you. Not everyone understands love like I do, but there are things about love that beg to be shared. There is a reason love is worth fighting and even killing for. I believe love to be both the greatest gift and the greatest source of sin amongst mankind. I wish you could experience it. It is a wonderful gift to be given."

Zepar, again, embraced her face. It was warm and soft, he could feel the holy light within her soul through her skin. A feeling he had lost and mourned.

zephyra didnt understand,How can someone kill for love, How can someone be so cruel to end a life,cause they loved them.She wanted to understand now.'Zepar,i want to understand love,can you show me.'she asked,in an inncocent tone.Watching the former angel approach her.

she felt him caress her face again,making her shiver.Wait a shiver,is when someone is pleasured by something.What was she feeling/

Zepar smiled as he could see Zephyra visibly react to the sensation of his touch. The tips of his fingers traced over her jawline and down to the tip of her chin. He could feel that inner warmth, hungry for it, but knowing it was not his to give or take. It was a piece of himself that he missed.

"Love is something that cannot be taught or explained with words. It can come from anywhere. It can strike without warning, or it can start with a small smoulder and burn into a raging inferno. It can engulf a person, or it can quench a person's soul. There are no limits to love. It cannot be contained and it is everlasting."

Zepar smiled.

"Perhaps one day you may learn of it. Your biggest concern should be lust, since the two can easily be mistaken. Love is giving, lust is coveting. Love is satisfied with only love, lust is ever-thirsting for more."

Zepar wished there was more that he could do to explain. Love could come from anywhere, but the eternal ones seldom felt it's gentle grasp.

"Love is the greatest gift that God has ever given. That is why I wish to speak to him. That is why I seek the answers to my questions."

zephyra let out a shaken breath from his touch.She felt her body heating up,just by being so close to him.Maybe this was lust,or deep down She really did love Zepar. What ther angels didnt know,was that.When Zepar was banished,zephyra cried for days in her quaters.

"zepar I have a confession to make.I do not lust for you,I find myself attracted towards you,when you were banished.i locked myself away,and cried for days.wishing you were there to comfrot me,to hold me and tell me everything is alright,but i knew it could never happen."She said.Taking his hand,and placing it where her heart is.Hoping he could feel how fast it was beating.

Zepar could feel the thumping of Zephyra's heart beneath her chest. A physical manifestation of her reaction to his touch and to his closeness to her. He could smell her breath, sweet and clean. She was filled with light and bathed in purity. He looked into her eye.

"Be careful Zephyra. You're inviting a dangerous influence into your life. Love and lust are not something to be toyed with. We were never meant to love. It could destroy us. It's our greatest tragedy."

Zepar reached up to caress her face again, he leaned in closely and whispered into her ear. "Love is something you cannot undo. It is irrevocable, permanent and there is no cure. God cannot even cure you of love, all that can be done is to forget it."

Zephyra listened to what he said,he thoguh she was lusting for him,when it was the complete opposite,she loved him.it hurt to see him tell her these things,that tears formed down her face,when he carssed her face.she couldnt take it any longer.she wanted to understand.

when he whispered in her ear,she grabbed his clothing ,and pulled herself against him.Her voice shaken through the tears.'please Zepar ,make me understand,please show me what love truely is.i want to know,andi want you to show me,i dont care if you dont feel the same for me.'she said.

Zepar pulled Zephyra towards him, his hands gripping her around her back just below where her wings met her shoulder blades. He could sense the excitement emanating from underneath her simply white gown. As he pulled her towards himself, he inhaled deeply at the skin beneath her ear. He had longed to smell the sweet scent of her skin and wanted to share the feel of his own touch.

He paused for a brief moment before placing a single, soft kiss on the side of her neck. He planted his lips only for a moment, and pulled back, looking at Zephyra. She didn't know love, but she would.

"I fear, my dear, that once you know love you may feel it for me. That might be your doom. I would hate to be the cause of your being kept from Heaven. It's painful and though I long to love you and to feel love in return, I would rather all the torments of hell and earth before dragging you down to a permanent home here in Purgatory."

zephyra cried in his should when he pulled her close.She thought she cried ,her last set of tears,for him.She doesnt understand love,but she wanted to .She wanted to feel love from him,and noone else.She wrapped her arms around him,not letting him go.

She toke a deep breath,when she felt his lips on her neck.Leaving a gentle kiss,his lips lingering on her skin,as he pulled back.

"zepar I dont care,just as long ,as i'm with you.I'm one of god's most trusted angels.if he can see the love i have for you.He will let you back,just please help me.'he said,tears still falling from her eyes.

Zepar did not want to poison the life of Zephyra. That was not his place. He wanted the answers and he wanted to share his knowledge with Zephyra, but he knew that if he brought her down from her place that there would be no-one else to blame. He could not bear the thought.

"Zephyra. I cannot be responsible for you losing your grace. It would be the death of me and while I may never gain the grace of my Lord again, I cannot betray him any further. Please... "

Zepar could not bear to let Zephyra know that love was something that he bore for everyone. It was never his will to bring ruin to people's lives. He wept a single tear for the loss of Zephyra, knowing that while he did not taint her soul - she was safe.

Zephyra leaned her body against his,just wanting to feel his touch,wanting to feel his body against her's.She could lose her purity for this,if she went through with it.her heart ached for Zepar,almost bleeding for him.

"fine i'll go,but you know you can only see me when i come here,our lord will never forgive you,but i do.i dont care if he hates me for it,i'm the judge,and i say goes,and I forgive you,and allow you back into heaven.'she said.

She would have hell to pay for betryaing their lord,but she is doing this cause ,she loved Zepar,from her deepest pit in her heart she loved him.

Zepar sat there as Zephyra ascended back into the heavens. She was gone out of his sight and Zepar sat both disappointed and relieved. Relieved that she was no longer there, disappointed because she was gone. He wanted her, desperately. Zepar debated with himself further. He could not hold back his feelings forever, but he could delay unveiling them.

He could wait, but eventually love would come creeping into his life as well. God was Love, and like God - you could never hide from Love if it wished to find you. Zepar would return each day, asking for forgiveness. He didn't know if the reason was because he wanted forgiveness from his Lord, or if he simply wanted Zephyra's love.

zephyra sat in her bed chamber.it has been a month ,since her visit to the purgatory.Her beautiful white wings,wrapped around her body,like a blanket.She missed zepar,she missed him greatly.one of the angels informed her,it was time for another judgement.zephyra sighed,and got up.Doing her process all over again.

The purification,the pryaing,and then descending down to the depths,of purgatory.Where she landed on the mountian top,awating for more souls to be jugded.in her heart she hoped to see zepar,climb up this mountain to see her.

Zepar came back up the mountain. He spent time among those who had difficulty climbing the way up purgatory, telling them of love and what love was capable of. Many had loved ones in heaven, and Zepar did his best to encourage those who were struggling to see their loved ones. He never spoke of vice or virtue, since neither were his place.

When he reached the top he allowed those who had made it to the top of the mountain go ahead of him. It was not his place to slow those who had climbed such a high hill from getting into heaven.

He followed at the back of the flock. He desperately wanted to see Zephyra, but he dreaded that he might become closer and closer to temptation. Temptation to draw her down into the world of those who had lost God's grace.