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In the King's service (wolvenrogue and nightsorceress)

Robert tried to understand her bitterness, but it only brought him frustration. He knew to argue would only bring more pain, but he couldn't shake the feeling of rejection it brought him. They were to go home tomorrow, but his heart was no longer in it. He was despondent. "I need to rest," he said " and think". He got up and went out to sit by the lake hoping to find some peace in his heart but there was none to be had. She would make a sacrifice for him, but he desperately wanted acceptance, and that she couldn't give. He hung his head and wondered what he would do tomorrow. His heart was heavy in his chest.
 
Aurora knew she had upset him, she sighed and headed back to the cabin. She lite the fire place and some candles. And waited wondering if he was going to come back she thought about her options. She of coursed could have lied to him to make him think she was ok with his people, but then she did not want their marriage based on lies. She sighed as she laid down on the bed to wait for him to return.
 
Robert had no peace and no resolution, he didnt know what to do Aurora was hopelessly complicated. He had settled wars in negotiations, but could not resolve this dilemma. Finally he fell back to the only truth that had not been shaken. Love always wins. He got up and walked back to the cabin, opened the door and walked in. He closed the door and laid down beside her. He looked her in the eyes. "My dearest Aurora, I can only love you, nothing more. I am only a man, I can't fix the past, nor guarantee the future, but I want only you. I love you and will love you whatever you think of me or my home or my people. Whether you love me or not. There is no price on my love nor any limit to it. I will love you though it cost me my kingdom, my people or my family. I am here or you." Though speaking those last words was hard, it was not as hard to him as the thought of losing her.
 
Aurora looked at the door as she heard it open she was glad to see him come back. she looked him in the eyes as he spoke once he finished she placed a soft hand on his cheek. "Robert I love, i did not say those things to hurt you, in fact i just wanted to be truthful with you and not lie about my feelings, I figured you would be more hurt if i lied to you. I am still struggling with the fact with what i went through, i so badly want to forget" she paused leaning in to kiss his lips. "I don't want what I said to cost you anything, " she sighed a little.
 
"Aurora, I can not take back the hurt that my kingdom caused you, wish though I might that I could. I will not add to that burden even so much as the weight of a feather. I will stay here until you are able to forgive and forget the pain, and come to my kingdom with an open heart.
I cannot return with a queen that does not love her kingdom, and I cannot leave without you. I love you more than anything in this world."
 
Aurora closed her eyes in sadness, she knew she had hurt him and there was nothing she could do to change that, "Robert, how would that work, what if i can never forgive what they did, as much as i want to. So what your plan is to stay here forever, you and i both know you would never be truly happy" She had a tear in her eye "I am sorry, I am sorry" she wrapped her arms around him her face buried into his chest she cried softly so afraid she had hurt him.
 
" I would be less happy anywhere else. You said you wanted to be honest and you are right. It hurts but it is better than a lie. I too am being honest. I cannot return now, with or without you, and without your forgiveness my kingdom will be lost either way. I cant return married without a queen, nor can I return with a queen who does not love her kingdom. I have no heir. Better to let the chancellor appoint a new king than to doom my kingdom. I can wait for a time, Kings need not explain themselves, at least short term, but for the good of the kingdom, and to keep my honor, I must either return or abdecate eventually. Which I do depends entirely on you. I have tried to take away this dilemma, but that only leads to more strife between us. When it comes to choices, I have chosen you. You may refuse my love if you choose, but you shall never destroy it."
 
Aurora shook her head still pressed against his chest. "NO, NO I love you to much to ever refuse you. Your my heart Robert, first and foremost. And if you could tell me a way to find forgiveness in what they had done I would forgive them if only for the simple fact that is what you need and want me to do. I just don't know how, to say i forgive them makes me sick to my stomach, I don't want to have problems between that is why I told you the truth. I don't know what do to make these feelings go a way."
 
"Forgiveness is a funny thing my dear. Its not for their sake, its for yours. It doesn't mean you will ever accept what they did as right, it only says you release them from your hatred for it. In the process it releases you to love. You remember the wrongs they have done and it stirs you up inside. It makes you hurt even years later. It makes you hurt others, who weren't even involved. The people who hurt you, may not even realize they did so or have long ago forgotten. They probably don't even remember who you are. Forgiving them will release you."
 
Aurora sighed a little and looked up at him. She did not want his kingdom to love her, she just wanted to be with him, he was their king, she just wanted to be his wife. "It not that i don't to forgive them for your sake, but i just can't. the only good in your kingdom, is you." She bit her lip a moment and looked up at him.
 
Robert listened as she spoke, almost dispassionate. "Then You shall have that which you love, my dear, But I am no longer free to give you my kingdom nor am I a ble to keep it myself." She watched as he packed his royal clothing in a trunk. He took of his signet ring and royal armband and put them in a small leather case and added them to the trunk. He walked out of the cabin and summoned his driver. "Take this trunk to the Chancellor, guard it with your life. Deliver it with all speed. He handed a sealed letter to the driver. Be sure the chancellor gets this letter with the trunk. " The letter was in his own hand and read "I Robert Vth of Monrovia, herby abdicate my throne. You are directed to appoint a new king with all possible speed." Robert came back in the cabin and sat down beside her on the bed. "What you see here is what you love. I am yours. I shall ask your father for employment so that I may care for you properly.
 
"Robert, please wait, please don't do anything foolish, please, we both could not live with the fact you would not be king because you love it so." Her please for him to stop seem to fall on deaf ears. She tried to catch him but he left to quickly. She put on her shoes just as he came back into the room. "No just wait here a moment." She said as she dashes from the room. That was something she always had was great speed and she was able to catch the carriage before it got to far. "Just do no leave yet." The driver nodded and she went back to the cabin, by the time she got back she was very much out of breath.
 
Robert sat on the bed and waited for her, in his heart of hearts he was at peace with what he had done. When she came in out of breath he said "Where did you run to? and to what purpose? I am at peace with my decision. I have been true to both the fondest desire of my heart, to be with you, and my responsibility to my kingdom. That which I have sacrificed were only wealth and power. Things of very little value here, and things that might corrupt this special place.
 
Aurora tried to catch her breath as she moved over to him. She was still catching her breath. "I want you to look into my eyes and tell me this is what your heart truly wants to do. That you will not regret your choice, I never ever wanted to drive you to do this when i told you the truth, please know that was not some motive to make you stay here."
 
He pulled her into his lap facing him as they sat on the bed. Their eyes level with one another. He looked deep into them. " All I really want from life is in my arms at this moment. You told me you could never forgive my people and that means you will never love them. That grieved me greatly at first, but I thought about love and what I really wanted most, knowing I could not have everything. I love you just as you are. I love everything about you. Now you must love me the same way, not because of my wealth or power, or my great Army, I have none of these things now. I am just a man. I am at complete peace with that decision, I only hope you are." His eyes never left hers and his voice never faultered. there were no tears.
 
Aurora wrapped her arms around his neck just holding him as he spoke. She hoped that all his words were true. "I never loved you for your wealth and power, you should know me better than that. And I never said i could never forgive them I just was not sure." She bit her lip. "I just feel like I am ruining your life is all. As you said, you wanted everything and I am standing in the way of that"
 
How can you ruin my life? I have what I want, and I hope so do you. What you said about forgiving them was "I just can't". That doesn't offer any chance of you loving them, which is the only way you can be my queen. I cannot change my mind unless first you change yours, and that just doesn't seem possible. I have made my choice. I chose love. No man can go far wrong by doing so.
 
"well you did just want me to blindly care about them after what they did. I can't be your queen until i love them, and i can't love till i know there is good in them, so we are truly stuck." she sighed and shook her head. "just think about it a little longer before making a choice."
 
"I didn't ask that you love them now my sweet, I asked that you forgive them so that loving might be possible. Forgiveness isn't love. Its simply letting go. It's extremely freeing. I feel free right now because I have let go of the things that had a hold on my heart, They were stopping me from giving my whole heart to you. But now they can't and I can give you all that I am. Its the same with you. The wrong that was done to you has a hold on your heart. Give it up so your free to love. Be willing to say I will not hold it against them, no matter how fair. The the hurt will no longer hold you. You will be free to love and I will be free to make you my queen as well as my wife. Then, I can take you home. Is there any hope of that happening. I want you to look me in the eyes and say that there is hope of that happening, That you can forgive them." . He held her in his lap his eyes never leaving hers.
 
Aurora closed her eyes a moment and thought about all he said. She wanted the power to let go, to forgive them for his sake, but something was stopping her, no matter how hard she tried. "There is always hope, perhaps if in them i see something worth forgiving, perhaps it would easier than trying to do so when all know is pain"
 
"Every person is worth forgiving, no matter how bad, and its not for them that you forgive it is for you. To take away the power of the hurt they inflicted upon you. That is why you must forgive first. Seeing them will not solve the problem. Someone will disappoint you and harden your heart. Even I disappointed you time and again, but you forgave me and in the process taught me true love. "
 
Aurora moved off of him. "Then i forgive them." she said softly. she looked at him, and bit her lip. she didn't know if she believed her, but it was wroth a shot. she could not let him leave his throne, not matter how much she hated his people she was just have to suck it up and stand by her husband.
 
Robert looked at her, doubtful. You didn't look at me when you said that and you have moved away. You expected more than that of me. Saying what you think I want to hear is not enough. You haven't let go. There is no joy in you. A blind man could see it. I know those eyes. I've spent days looking into them. They tell me something different.
 
"Some times there is more to life than what either one of us want. Just please accept that and lets return home. You need to go home, as you say this place is fun but not like your kingdom, its more than fun here, there is a lot to this place an none of it is like what you are use to. Lets just return to the kingdom and move on with our lives"
 
Robert was torn for a moment, She would drive him mad. There was no getting on with life, his life was turned upside down and would never be the same. " No my dear he said softly, being as gentle as he could. That life is gone for me, it no longer exists. My life is here now, with you, that part of my life is a shadow of what was and will never be again. As long as I have you, I am happy. But don't ask me to do something that will make you forever unhappy. I cannot.
 
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