Food Thoughts (feel free to prod my brain)

[Cheech]

Preface: I went to culinary school for a few years and majored in breads and pastry. That is literally this thread.

Today I am making a lavender tea loaf. The kitchen smells amazing, and surprisingly lemony. Which is only because there is no lemon in it to start with really. It's surprisingly simple, it's easier than muffins, and it tastes. So. Good.

I just hate that the oven is off by 20+ degrees. I only figured that out after a year of careful experimentation. I rent so I'm not messing with it. I had to make notes on all my recipes for it though which sucks.

Meh. I'm just excited for this bread. Mmmmmm

 

[Cheech]

(The bread turned out AMAZING, for anyone who wanted to know XP)


Apple pie filling:
Note, this spice mix is also excellent in pumpkin pie when adjusted for it!

4 large granny smith apples or 6 small granny smith apples
10 oz sugar
2 tbsp cinnamon
2 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp allspice
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp flour

1. Combine all dry ingredients. If it doesn't feel 'soft' (like magic sand, kind of), add another teaspoon of flour. But just one! The flour is what helps turn the leftover apple juice/syrup into... well, a better syrup.
2. Cut apples into quarters, peel and core them, then slice them into 1/4 inch pieces. If you have an apple slicer, even better, let that do the work for you. Toss these into the bowl with the dry spice mix.
3. After all apples are sliced and in the bowl, toss thoroughly to coat and set aside. Note: These are DELICIOUS to snack on this way. Be warned.

Pie crust:
16 oz flour
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt
10 oz shortening (crisco or store brand, butter flavor is also fine)
4 oz milk
1 oz lemon juice or apple cider vinegar

Oven should be at 385F if using a standard convection oven. If gas oven, 375 is enough.

1. Combine milk and lemon juice in small bowl or measuring cup, set aside. If making vegetarian or vegan, substitute this with an equivalent amount (5 oz) of water and do use butter-flavor shortening.
2. Combine dry ingredients in large bowl. Add shortening and proceed to mix carefully until most lumps of shortening are about the size of a quarter, no smaller than the size of a penny.
3. Add the clabbered milk and mix until just blended. On floured counter, dump out dough and mix until smooth and streaks of shortening are visible in the dough.
4. Roll into a log and cover with plastic wrap, refrigerate for 30 minutes or overnight if making ahead of time.

Assemblage:

1. Cut the log into two large disks (one a bit larger than the other) and set the smaller half aside. Laying the larger of the two on the flat side you just cut, on a floured counter, take a well-floured rolling pin and begin rolling the dough out, turning occasionally. You want this to be thin but not super-thin. If you feel it's sticking, don't be afraid to add more flour. It's your friend here.
2. When it's ready (about 1/4 inch thick), carefully fold it in half, then in half one more time and pick up the folded dough without squishing it and set it into the pie dish/pan. Carefully unfold it and use a basting brush to fluff out most of the flour, then make sure the dough is touching all corners. If there are some cracks, that's fine, you can use some of the overhanging dough to patch that up.
3. You can either put the apple slices in nice and pretty and evenly, or you can dump them in. Either way works, since this is a closed top crust pie, but the nice and even version makes it bakes more evenly. Once those are in, if the juice left inside is reasonably thick (drag a finger through, does it leave a clear trail on the edge?), just pour that on in. If it isn't, pour it into a small pan and let it reduce/gently simmer for about five minutes. Allow it to cool, then pour it over the apples.
4. An optional step here is to take some butter, cubed, and tuck it in between some apple slices. This doesn't really do anything as far as I can tell but the original recipe has that in it.
5. Take the other half of the dough and roll it out as well, though when you're done rolling this one out, use the rolling pin to carefully drape the top crust over the pie. Crimping is something that is learned through practice so I really have no idea how to explain this, just use Youtube I guess. But use your hand or a pair of clean kitchen shears to trim off the excess first. Use a knife and lightly score the top of the crust in any way you see fit; this will allow the crust to vent, which prevents the top from becoming an empty dome.
6. Take an egg and a splash of water and beat vigorously, and use a basting brush to eggwash the top crust. Sprinkle sugar (brown sugar, regular sugar, sanding sugar - whatever floats your boat) across the top and pop this sucker in that oven!
7. As mentioned above, the oven should be at 385F if it's a convection or electric oven, and bake the pie for 45-50 minutes or until the crust is a rich golden color. If using a gas oven, 375 for 50 minutes is just fine, just check it periodically. My current gas oven is a temperamental bitch.

LET THE PIE COOL FOR AT LEAST TWENTY MINUTES BEFORE SERVING, THIS THING IS GOING TO BE LIQUID MAGMA ON THE INSIDE. Can be enjoyed as is, with vanilla ice cream, Cool Whip, or homemade whipped cream. I recommend drinking a tall cold glass of water because milk may be too much unless you eat a smaller slice.

 

[Cheech]

Want ramen that tastes better than the standard 99 cent pack but don't want to spend 20 dollars at the local ramen bar? Don't have the know-how or kitchen setup to make your own broth?

LET ME SHOW YA HOW TO DO IT, THE CHICHI WAY.

So far the only two flavors I've really experimented and perfected are based in chicken and beef flavors! BUT I shall share both of those here and update with other flavors in the future.

Chichi's Cheating Chicken Ramen: 1 pack of your favorite chicken ramen 2 soft boiled eggs (favorite how-to for soft boiled eggs) 1 tsp smoked paprika 1 tsp cayenne pepper 1 tsp salt (bear with me on this) 1 tsp chicken bouillon or chicken seasoning of some variety (Italian seasoning by itself also works) 3 cloves garlic, minced 4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced Juice from half a lemon Make your softboiled eggs first! Let them cool in an ice bath. Makes them easier to peel. In a pan, heat 2 tbsp of olive oil over medium heat and begin to fry the minced garlic. In small bowl, combine the flavor pack from the ramen, the paprika, pepper, salt, and chicken seasoning of your choice. As the garlic starts to become fragrant, add the spice mix to it. It will clump up; if it doesn't 'melt' back down, add another light drizzle of oil. Stir around until it darkens (about 1 1/2 - 2 minutes), then add lemon juice. As soon as you've mixed the juice in, take the bowl you're eating this out of and fill it roughly how high you want the broth to be - I recommend a large-ish bowl, as the extra weight of the noodles and eggs will raise the level of the broth in the bowl and it can be a mess. Pour this water into the pan carefully, stir to mix, and let it come to a low boil. Pour this into your bowl, add your dry noodles and let it sit while you wash the pan. To this pan, add 2 tbsp butter (or olive oil, I'm not your parent) and your garlic slices, cook them til just browning then turn off the heat, leave them in the pan for a few minutes. Peel your softboiled eggs and slice them in half with a very, very sharp knife, then arrange them prettily in your bowl. The yolk will inevitably leak out, that's normal. Take the garlic from the pan and use a spatula to get the slices and the now-garlic butter (or oil) into the bowl. Sprinkle some greenery on top (green onions, finely chopped dry rosemary, dill weed is also good) and enjoy!

Chichi's Beautiful Beef Ramen: 1 pack of your favorite beef ramen 2-3 soft boiled eggs (favorite how-to for soft boiled eggs) 2 tsp smoked paprika 1 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper 1 tsp salt (bear with me on this) 2 tsp beef bouillon or beef seasoning of some variety, I like Spice Cave Land Seasoning for this one 4 cloves garlic, minced 5 cloves garlic, thinly sliced 1 tsp liquid smoke If you have actual beef (ground, sliced, or cubed), cook that up too! For cubes, just sear the sides - by the time you're done searing, the inside should be cooked medium. Make sure they're bite size! Make your softboiled eggs first! Let them cool in an ice bath. Makes them easier to peel. In a pan, heat 2 tbsp of olive oil over medium heat and begin to fry the minced garlic. In small bowl, combine the flavor pack from the ramen, the paprika, pepper, salt, and beef seasoning of your choice. As the garlic starts to become fragrant, add the spice mix to it. It will clump up; if it doesn't 'melt' back down, add another light drizzle of oil. Stir around until it darkens (about 1 1/2 - 2 minutes). Take the bowl you're eating this out of and fill it roughly how high you want the broth to be - I recommend a large-ish bowl, as the extra weight of the noodles and eggs will raise the level of the broth in the bowl and it can be a mess. Pour this water into the pan carefully, stir to mix, and let it come to a low boil. Pour this into your bowl, add your dry noodles and let it sit while you wash the pan. To this pan, add 2 tbsp butter (or olive oil, I'm not your parent) and your garlic slices, cook them til just browning then turn off the heat, leave them in the pan for a few minutes. Peel your softboiled eggs and slice them in half with a very, very sharp knife, then arrange them prettily in your bowl. The yolk will inevitably leak out, that's normal. Take the garlic from the pan and use a spatula to get the slices and the now-garlic butter (or oil) into the bowl. Sprinkle some greenery on top (green onions, dill weed is also good) and enjoy!

I do not recommend adding cooked/cubed/ground/etc chicken to the chicken version, as I've yet to figure out how to make that taste good but I'm also averse to meats in soups unless it's pork or beef. Additionally, if it isn't salty enough, you can always add more. I am a salt fiend, so I add until I'm satisfied. You can also tweak these seasonings to your heart's content! If you find a new way to enjoy it, let me know what you did and I'll add it to this table.