Right foot in the roses, Left foot on a landmine ( F seeking M )

[Ryan]

"Have you been waiting long... for me?"
— Sleep Token, Even in Arcadia


In the Mood for Something Beautifully Broken?

Hi there.
You can call me Ryan or Ry. Welcome to my little corner of chaos, longing, and storytelling. I'm in my 30s, female, and I'm here looking for stories that hurt — but also heal. I've been writing and roleplaying for over 15 years, and I'm always searching for the kind of partner who wants to dive deep — into characters, into shadows, into sparks that could burn or save us. I log in most days. Sometimes briefly, sometimes with full intensity. Life outside the screen keeps me busy — but I'll always be honest about time and expectations. I ask for the same in return.

If you're looking for something more than the ordinary, something raw and real, you're in the right place. Let's write something that burns through the pages.

"So let's make trouble in the dream world."
— The Apparition


My Preferences

Third-person, past tense only.
All writing happens through PMs, not threads.
I LOVE to chat OOC on Discord if we vibe.
I only write female x male pairings, with me writing the female role. I prefer male writing partners — but I'm always happy to chat with anyone.
I'm drawn to dominant, emotionally layered male characters. Strong, haunted, blunt. Maybe scarred, maybe tattooed. He's a fighter, but he feels deeply — especially when he shouldn't.
I post a few times a week, sometimes more. I'd love the same, but life comes first.

Writing Style:

I write 4+ paragraphs, sometimes much more, especially in emotional or intense scenes.
I crave details — not just what happens, but how it feels. The clothes they wear, the tremble in a voice, the way a storm smells before it hits.
Please no one-liners. At least three well-written paragraphs is my baseline.
Typos happen, I get it. All I ask is that you try your best, and I'll do the same.

On the Table

Romantic/Emotional:

Enemies to lovers
Star-crossed or damaged lovers
Gritty love, hard-earned affection
Tragedy, loss, emotional rawness
Height differences, protector vibes
D/s dynamics that are emotionally grounded, never cartoonish
Marks, scars, tattoos as symbols of love or protection
First-time vulnerability, slow burn, or pure passion — it all has its place
Stories where sex means something, even when it's messy, angry, or broken

Sexual Themes:

Consensual, intense, emotionally raw scenes
Rough, desperate, "press-you-against-the-wall" moments
Slow, tender first times
Jealousy, possessiveness, need
"Mine" energy

Hard No's

I Do Not Write:

Fantasy creatures (though I'm open to fantasy, like fae or court-based drama)
Non-con outside of villain interactions
Bathroom play, furries, anthro, incest, voyeurism/exhibitionism
Underage characters (all characters must be 21+)
Interracial themes (a personal preference — not open for debate)



Story Ideas

A Deal in Blood and Shadows

"Who encrypted your dark gospel in body language."
— Acensionism​

Nyxaria, a fiery and defiant human slave in the oppressive Day Court, faces brutal punishment for attempting to escape—a daring act that left a guard wounded when she stole his sword. Her broken, bloodied form is displayed before the court as a warning to others, but among the witnesses is the Night Court's deadliest warrior. Visiting with his king for political negotiations, the fae warrior is struck by Nyxaria's resilience, even as her pride is shattered before the crowd. Against his instincts, he convinces the Night King to strike a deal with the Day King: Nyxaria's life in exchange for their silence and cooperation.

Though she's freed from the Day Court, Nyxaria's journey to the Night Court is grueling. Injured and mistrustful, she struggles with the pain of her punishment and the fear of exchanging one prison for another. The warrior, stoic and shrouded in the mysterious power of the Night Court, is tasked with escorting her, but their every interaction brims with tension. As they travel across treacherous terrain, Nyxaria's physical vulnerability forces her to rely on him, even as she fights to maintain her independence. For his part, long accustomed to bloodshed and duty, finds himself drawn to her defiance and haunted by a desire to protect her.

What begins as a simple deal evolves into a journey of mutual survival and reluctant trust. Bound by shared scars—his hidden and hers freshly inflicted—they navigate not only the dangers of their path but also the fragile hope of redemption in a world that thrives on cruelty.

I have not written fantasy before but would love a chance to try it out. I am open to changes and making it our own.

Until the End

"When we were made, it was no accident."
— Chokehold​

I recently read a trilogy and it really got me thinking of a new story idea. It was the Violent Kingdom series by Lili st Germain if you want to look it up. It's about two warring families, though a son and daughter from each were once meant to marry before the families become enemies. Years later, the girl and boy wake up in a cell after being kidnapped. While in there, Rome is forced to watch Avery get hurt. They eventually get free, but it's a whole other fight to be together on the outside. I was hoping to do something similar but instead of the rich, warring families I want to do the FMC and MMC were once in the system together and basically inseparable. They both went through some real terrible shit, but one failed foster home after the other they always found their way back to each other. But then he ages out and the one person she had is gone. After years of searching for her and failing, despite knowing she has aged out by now, they reunite when they're kidnapped together. When two rival motorcycle clubs are on the verge of war, the MMC is kidnapped, along with the ghost from his past. Locked in a basement cell together, she will pay for his resistance.

Will he stay loyal to his club, or will he break for the girl he loved and lost for so long?

Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Right Man?

"And you were more than just somebody I was destined to meet."
— Granite​

Her life had been screwed up for a long time. He found his life in a motorcycle club. They both end up at a convenience store at the worst possible time. Members of a rival MC show up and a gun fight breaks out. The clerk and another customer end up dead. She is hit, not fatal, but she needs a doctor. For her own reasons she doesn’t want to go to the hospital or deal with the police. With her history she knows something will get blamed on her. He is in the same boat, injured, unintentionally in the territory of the rival MC. They need to go on the run from the cops and the people trying to kill them. Can romance bloom between two desperate people running and fighting for their lives?

Looking for someone to play the biker on the run, tell me who he is in your mind.

In The Middle Of No Place

"My, my, those eyes like fire."
— Take Me Back to Eden​

He is at some shady, dirty looking clinic in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere. People around here are poor, truly dirt poor, he may be from the area or just passing through. She comes in as he is being treated for some injury, minor, and/or bringing a buddy of his in. She looks beat up and beat down, but beneath it all she is beautiful, you just have to look past a lot. Maybe it’s those haunted grey eyes of hers or maybe he sees how much she needs someone to rescue her from whoever did this to her, and the godforsaken place that life has left her. He can be her knight in somewhat dented, not quite so shiny armor. Maybe he has a past too, not many people end up here unless something or someone is haunting their steps.

Looking for a partner to play him, background and personality negotiable.

*****Looking for new story lines!*****

Let's Talk!
If you're intrigued by what I've shared, don't hesitate to PM me. Let's craft a story that feels real, raw, and maybe even a little dangerous. I'm here for those of you who don't mind diving into the gritty side of love, where redemption, loyalty, and pain often go hand in hand.

"Show me those pretty white jaws, show me where the delicate stops."
— Jaws
​

 

[Ryan]

New story added. Until the End.

 

[Ryan]

New plot added. A Deal in Blood and Shadows.

 

[Ryan]

Bump.

 

[Ryan]

Bump.

 

[Ryan]

Bump.

 

[Ryan]

Bump.

 

[Ryan]

Bump.