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Journal of the Ancient Gear (comments welcome)

Leon

π•Ώπ–π–Š 𝖒𝖆𝖓 𝖔𝖋 π–’π–ž π–”π–œπ–“ π•―π–—π–Šπ–†π–’π–˜
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
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Not getting much sleep and then seeing that you can make a journal means the name is whatever shoots into your head first, along with good ol fashion auto select. I am going to try and actuallu keep this going for once and maybe put some stuff down seeing as the people I wouldn't want seeing it couldn't come to find it so it's more of my own little safe space and I would like to see free back from outside sources as well as someone looking in might have either insightful info or simply enjoy the ramblings.
 
RE: Journal of the Ancient Gear

-Dawn of the First Day-
Song Listening to at Start: NEFFEX - Best of Me

So much stuff has happened in my life as of late. Friends I thought were friends are slowly turning out to be rather backstabby. Telling me one thing and then, late in the night, hearing them saying the same negative things to another. It's... annoying to say the least. Nothing I haven't dealt with before, it isn't really that big a deal as words are just that in the end. Just have to play my own cards right and stack the deck when I can, where I can.

The man that was my biological father passed a couple days ago from a motorcycle accident. This would be more heartbreaking if I actually had more interaction with the man but I have only really seen him two, three times in my entire life? He left my mother and when I was of age, I didn't really care as I had lived without him for this long, why try and build a bridge now? But, the way he died, he had no real will or anything set up. So they are looking to his living heirs which is three individuals. My older sister, me and a younger brother I have never met. It is supposed to go from the oldest to the youngest as to who has to settle any debts and take his things and deal with it but I hate my sister. She has always been that type of girl to be given chance after chance and always blow it, every single time. She has three kids and all of them have been taken away from her because she can't keep her shit together. I still don't care about the man but I still want to do right by the guy and see that everything is settled fairly and I want to do it right as well as get my own share for said work I am willing to put in, not let some crackheaded doped out woman try and swindle everyone else out of the mess and think that it'll just be okay. I feel that I don't have to care about the guy as a father or not but sometimes you just have to do things so that others can't benifit off of it and spite can be a really good motivator.

I really dislike pants sometimes. I'm a boxer briefs kinda guy and when I am home, the pants and shift come off and that is the man I am for the time being. Hell, even if I have to leave an hour later, I will still take the time to drop the jeans in order to get some comfort. It is how I sleep and it is a good middle ground. I can't really go full frontal when I sleep, just a bit too much touching and not enough confinement in the nether regions.

This was nice and hopefully it is something that can help me iron out some things but so far, I like it and would be nice to push it forward.
 
-Second Wind-
Song Listening to at Start: grandson - Blood / / Water

Got a good bit of information attained today and all in all was a fairly awesome day. Called up the Clerk of Courts and talked with a man that was more than helpful and was rather friendly which made the entire process enjoyable. Though I knew very little, he was willing to give me helpful tips and guesswork. The jist I was able to take home from the conversation is that, with all this going on, it is up to all of the deceased children to decide things in an equal manner, regardless of age. This poses a problem as since my older sister is nowhere to be found, she still gets a say-so if she appears. The good thing is that she does have a time table to abide by though the downside is that it is a full three months. I can continue the process after that timeframe is done and over with but damn, that is a lot of sitting on my hands. The second option is to find her and get her to give me her portion though that is dead in the water because as soon as she finds out she might be able to get something, she'll dig her claws in and refuse to let go.

Brighter side of things as well, I got to spend some time with my brother's kid whom is only a few months old. Had to take my mother to get some work done and while she was in the back, I was taking care of the baby and dear lord, all of the eyes and the 'oh look at da baby'. Not that I minded it, it was cute.
 
As someone that has gone through a (similar although not the same) process when it came to an inheritance, these things take time and as such can be draining. Pace yourself and don't let the paperwork flood your life, even if I can see that you don't need much advice as the babysitting moment was awfully cute.
 
-Troika-
Song Listening to at Start: Zombie - Bad Wolves

Today was a rather enjoyable day for the better part, nothing really bad going down. Woke up a bit hot but that isn't any different from any other day being this sexy *nudge nudge poke poke jab jab* It's funny because I was talking about the high temperature of the room but was able to translate it into a joke about my sexual appeal. Ah, I crack me up sometimes. Though, that aside, it was okay and got to put some small decals on my car that I got a few days ago and haven't been able to put on due to weather. Went shopping and met some cool strangers, just those kinda people that see a logo you're wearing and give that smile and nod and there is a moment of appreciation and acknowledgment that just makes the day a bit better overall.

The afternoon caught up to me faster than I would have liked because of the overcast and was blindsided by sleepiness but had to hassle through it because a Pathfinder group I play with once/twice a month lined up right so today was the day for that. Drove out there and while the sessions can be good just as much as bad, it was really fun. Had a solid battle, fun interactions with NPC's and overall, really great and got to play with some clay, it is a really fun way to pass the time and made everyone's characters whilst in my boredom.

When it was time to call it quits, headed back home and got on here after lingering on the phone for a bit prior. This site is starting to become a bit therapeutic which was not what I was expecting it to be when I first joined but am really happy about it.


Replies:
@Sigr- Solid advice and where I am currently, any little bits of encouragement is something I feel I might need on the road ahead and while I do not have kids myself, between family and friends, I can take care of them fairly well and enjoy them in moments that I have to admit is cute. Those melting moments are always blissful to see, like a baby asleep and then cracking a smile out of the blue. Tis nice and pleasant.
 
-Four for Four-
Song Listening to at Start: Hurricane - Luke Combs

So, these past couple of days I had been meaning to update this but just never really felt like I was in the mood. Well, with my current mindblock, just typing sounds pretty good.

Well, a few days ago I was able to take a day off to go the the local fair when it came back for the few weeks. I hadn't been able to go the last few years and it was actually kind saddening and it was really getting me down so when I got the actual chance to do it, I did and it was a mixed bag. It was hell finding my way there from where I live now as I had never had to go anywhere close to there from my new residence. Once I finally got there via GPS, I found that I was on the complete opposite side of the base(fair takes place on military grounds) and I couldn't go through. The old man at the security gate was really nice though, that kind of old guy that you just get a warm feeling about. He tried to direct me to where I needed to go and luckily, he was fairly right enough to get me back on track. Worked out though because since I was late, it was just in the time frame where the price of admission was half off. Rode a few rides but noticed that half of the rides I used to enjoy were just, gone. Like, I only ride seven, right rides and four of them were gone so that was a bummer. Though, as I was leaving, I saw a crowd and some guy talking over the speakers, thought at first it was some coverband but I hear some water splashing and it was a trainer and an Alligator. Now, I love, Love, LOVE reptiles and as I was catching the ass end of the show, he brought up that for ten bucks, people could get a picture with two of the smaller Alligators, one of which was a rare albino Alligator.

It. Was. Fucking. Awesome!

He could tell I was enjoying it far more than the other people who were getting the picture for the sake of a picture. We would chat for a bit before I had to surrender the sleepy baby gator. She was so cute and she fell asleep in my arms. The will to run was high, so very high.

--

So, while I roleplay and skim over the interweb, I usually have my headphones in, plugged up to my phone and just let the Spotify run. Now, I do not have any one genre. I span over a wide spectrum going from Rap to Country to Rock to Cover songs. If it sounds nice, I like it. Thus why the song above is that of the country variety, blame it on my roots, grew up in the country at my grandparents when I could visit them as a kid and that was all they would listen to and I didn't hate it. Main point, lately, my music has been influencing my mood and how/when I reply to people. Listening to a rock song when I'm trying to be sensual doesn't really work and vice versa when I'm trying to be heartless.

I am loving the roleplays I'm in, shout out to xElf, Felicia Florence, brokenwater and Cuty69. They have made roleplaying on this site really fun and I love reading the replies they come up with and it is the stuff that I would love to have an actual book of.
 
I'm glad that you are having a great time around and the story about a gentle old man and a couple cute baby gators saving the day was heartwarming. Thank you for sharing it.
 
-High Five-
Song Listening to at Start: Notorious - Adelitas Way

So, sleeping is a thing right? Yeah, didn't think so. Well, I have to say that the roleplays I am in/that I am going to be a part of are really making my day. Thanks to Sigr for really putting a smile on my face with a centaur pic that was just too cute and it made me feel all nice and warm on the inside in a completely non-sexual way too, win-win.

I have also been listening to the above song on repeat...over...and over...and over since I found it. I think that is a common thing people do. Once you get that new song, you play it just enough to ware it down to the point where it can be thrown in with other songs so you can listen to them normally BUT until that point.
Love. It. Till. I. Hate. It.

I do wonder if my roleplayer starter etiquette is on point. I keep seeing these people talking about in their Request threads not to message them with one worded replies and it really makes me wonder. Who the fuck does that? Like, really yo. Put some feeling into it. Ya got to make every person feel special! SPECIAL DAMMIT!



Replies:
@Sigr- I'm glad that you are glad that my day was as enjoyable as it was and I thank you for thanking me. Thanks abound!
 
-Six-Pack-
Song Listening to at Start: Tell Me Why - Three Days Grace

Change is coming and I'm not sure how to actually handle it now that its on the horizon. I applied for another job as I have been doing many times before but certain things have come up and those jobs would fall out of reach. Well, I went to an interview a few days back and it seemed to go smoothly though this usually happens regardless. I would get my foot in the door and then door would slam shut on it.

I was given the entire treatment of going through the drug tests and papers were sent in for the background check and then it was just a matter of time. I was told by my interviewer that I would hear back from him one way or another, that he wouldn't leave me in the dark and I appreciated that.

That brings us to day when I got a call saying that everything came back clear and that orientation would be Wednesday morning. He gave me things I needed to bring and sizes for gear I would be given. After I hung up, I was really happen but once that wore off, my stomach started to tie itself up in knots. This job is a manual labor one and while I don't mind that, I was told that the hours are long but the pay is good. Major downside is that it is a job that will take me away from home for most of the week, having the weekend off before having to head back out on Monday.

I've never had a job like and I'm not completely sure how much time I'll actually have to do, well, pretty much anything. Thus why I write it here, something kind of like a reminder for myself and those that read it as I will more than likely be linking it to my partners and hope that it'll be understood that I am not bailing on anything but I might not be able to be as...active as I have been in the short time I've been here. I really hope that I can at least be able to reply in the nights to come if the work doesn't kill me first. To those that I am roleplaying with, I can understand it fully if breaks and gapes kill the RolePlay we are in and if you want to put it on hold or cut it entirely, there is no Ill will from me.

Well, that being said. Here is to days that have yet to pass and hope that things work out for the better for all of us.
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Thanks for the heads up and I wish you the best of lucks with whatever that job entails, at first it will be maybe rough but people have a wondrous ability to adapt. I won't speak for your other partners, but rest assured that you won't have any troubles with me when it comes to our game. Be it daily, weekly, monthly or what have you, I have no issues adapting it to any pace, so don't worry about that with me.
 
-Seven Heavens-
Song Listening to at Start: Irresistible -Fallout Boy

So, it is official. I am now a worker at _____ ______ construction. It's bitter sweet. I am going to love the pay increase but I'm still worried about the time away. Never had a job like this, haven't had much in terms of jobs in the first place. The company seems really nice and they seem to look out for their own but it still doesn't help twisting my stomach. Went through in orientation process today and after we were able to drudge through that, papers have been signed and things have been finalized. It is going to be hard, I knew that but the mental portion is what I'm not sure about because I don't know what to expect. Regardless, I am in and I'm keeping my feet planted and going to try and stay committed as best I can. I have four days of complete freedom as Monday is my shipping off day.

Replies:
@Sigr- Thanks Sigr, it really does mean a great deal. Which really sucks because I really love our current RP so, SO much. Here is to our future endeavors and hopefully I will be able to do just enough after work to reply as I plan on taking my own laptop with me. I will make sure to keep ya updated here or via PM's if it comes down to it.
 
Look at him!
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Both that smiley gecko and I trust that you'll do fine, I'll do love our game as well and I'm sure that you'll do your best when you can. Please let the game be a source of relief and happiness for you, an amusing endeavor, not a source of more worries.
 
-Eight Ball-
Song Listening to at Start: Only - Jelly Roll

Today is my last day of freedom. Sounds horrible but not so horrible. My stomach is in knots and I keep trying to untie them. I keep having tiny moments where I think. 'Maybe I can back out' or 'maybe I can just hide under my covers until its over' but then I think of all the stuff that I've been getting from everyone, encouragement and tools for the job in the form of all kinds of things. I don't want to be a disappointment and I've decided that I don't want to be so, I'm not going to be. Easy right? To quote a part from the linked song. 'I don't wanna wake up. I'm living in a dream right now. Only place I ain't a fuck up. Only place for me to be right now' Feel like it is a nice little saying and while I don't want to wake up to this, we can't just sleep our lives away so I'm gonna have to set that alarm.

Replies:
@Sigr- You have very little idea on how much that turned my day around when I saw it. Really though, thank you Sigr, like, A LOT. Both the comments ya make and the encouragement on pretty much all fronts that are available to you. You are good people in my eyes. Once more, thank you.
 
Good writing, Leon. Wishing you all the best but it seems you have your head on right and feet firmly on the ground. No matter how the boat rocks, just remember your core values and you'll be fine. Take care and I look forward to your return to games! :)
 
-Nine Clouds-
Song Listening to at Start: It Has Begun

So, I woke up earlier than I wanted this morning and it was not a pleasant feeling having to leave before the sun even rose. I had packed everything I thought I might need but didn't want to overdo it. It didn't take too long to get to the location but I felt so alone and like I had already fucked up in someway. People were pulling in and I just kept thinking different things. Did I park in the right spot? Who am I supposed to talk too? What if they aren't here or someone points me in the wrong direction? What if I wasn't supposed to be at this spot? What if I didn't bring something I was going to need? Train wreck inside car crash topped off with a dove diving plane. The mind works how it wants to work, regardless of how I wanted it too.

So, I finally asked a guy where another guy that I was supposed to find was.....he says HE is that guy. Fuck. Well, he told me to sign in and then threw little tidbits of information out at me. The main one, and he wasn't the only one to say this but it seems a universal truth to not trust anyone here. Everyone keeps telling me this. Don't owe anyone anything and don't lend them anything. They are not your friends, they are here to get themselves ahead by whatever means they can and they will throw me under the bus if it will do that.

Well fuck me, right? Well, then it gets a little clearer. It isn't that you need to isolate yourself, it is just that everyone is just an acquaintance, not a friend. Know them but not their life. Keep your details to yourself but small talk is encouraged so everyone can at least get along. I met several people and I've learned a good bit for my first day. But hell, my legs burn and my feet are killing me and I'm starting to turn into a lobster from my wrists to my shoulders. They say that Monday is the worst because everyone is getting off from their weekend and things get changed constantly. I haven't heard if it was the hardest overall or just for that reason. Either way, I am alive and I have to work ten hour days so there is a lot of things to come my way but I'm keeping positive now as much as I can. Thank you to Sigr and Sprite and all of my current and future RP partners for making my time all the more enjoyable.

Replies:
@Sprite - Thank you, people wouldn't believe me when I say that hearing positive things from you guys really does brighten my day even though I haven't known or know most of you. It's the small things that I like to take to heart. So, thank you once more for the words of encouragement.
 
Leon, we all come to BMR for support, one way or another right? Keep your chin up and remember you've been through more challenging situations in life. You can do this, just take it one day at a time. (Your recent post had some good tidbits for a story!) Take care.
 
Hey there, Leon.

We haven't talked before, but I can't help but extend my little arms out into the interwebs and give you the biggest hug ever!
-Gives internet hugs-

You got this in the bag! You seem like a kind, caring, smart, and mature guy. Anyone would be grateful to have you apart of their team. I'm sorry that your anxiety is getting the best of you, and I know it's easier said than done to shake away those lingering thoughts and feelings. But know, that I'll be rooting for you even when you can't root for yourself!

If you ever need anything or just want to blow some steam, my inbox is always open. <3
 
You did it. Maybe it was hard, maybe it was weird, but you got over it and went through. You are awesome just for that, keep at it.
 
-Ten Rings-
Song Listening to at Start: Painless - Fozzy

So, going to start out with a thank you to everyone that, while it wasn't necessary, the well wishes and positive encouragement that I woke up to this morning. It helped me into a far more positive mood at the start of the day which, all things considered, would have been awful. My body ached, I was a little late for my ride. But the simple messages really did help me push forward with myself.

The rest of the day. Well, I knew that today was going to be different but holy hell, it was so bad. The sore body from monday did not pair well with the day's work. And it did not. Every minute passed by so slow and I did so much and kept pushing myself and it was so bad. So much lifting and the heat did not help anything and FUCK, GNATS! HOW I HATE THEE! So many of them, never going away. Though, the were a few people that helped me out when I needed it and it was fairly impressive my current work ethic. BUT, I seemed to have overdone it as I was told that I didn't need to do as much as I was doing and another lady was supposed to be helping.

It was...aggravating and come to find out that sun stroke is a very real issue as I found out. Was caught before things got too bad but I explained how my legs were feeling and that I was starting to feel really drained really fast. This was pointed out that the water I was drinking only did so much in terms of actually keeping my body up. I already know that I can't drink too much or else it'll only make things worse. But, I made it through another day. Another painful day. And I have another day of pain tomorrow. But, I will survive.

Replies:
@Sprite - Support is great and I thank you for it. As for challenging situations, while I may have this is definitely high on the list. The pain is literally the worst part but I hope that I will at least be able to get used to some of the things in time. I do like that I've given ideas so that is always a plus.

@Ironic - Internet hugs are some of the best hugs and the fact that someone whom has never had a conversation is willing to give me a hug, it touches me in a positive way.
-received internet hugs-
I shall keep this always. And thank you for the your kindness and even more so, the much needed shoulder if ever I would need it. I was never one for anxiety as I try and most of the time, succeed in being able to fend them off. There are just those times where the situation outgrows my positivity and I kinda get crushed under the weight till it starts to fade from time. Once more, thank you.

@Sigr - Hhhheeee, dunno why that made me grin so much with glee. I really hope my sincerest thanks for everything, the small bits of well wishes and simply throwing out comments here and there, it really has helped in more ways than you could know.
 
Hi Leon, you made it! Remember one day at a time, marathons aren't completed by focusing on the finish line ~ but by each mile you complete. Can you take anything to help with the discomfort? Hang in there buddy! We're here to cheer you on! Can you schedule a massage maybe?
 
-Eleven Oceans-
Song Listening to at Start: Don't You (Forget About Me) - SKIY

So, I have found that for my first solid week of construction work....it hurts. On different levels of pain. Starting off on some days, it hurt to walk but after pushing through the pain, it kinda fades. Some days were harder than others and there didn't seem to be a very constant in terms of 'Oh, first day is okay and every consecutive day will get progressively worse.' No. This was not the case. The second day seemed to be the worst of them all. Though, today seemed to bring its own pains. I know that a lot of you think that that word is repetitive but it just usually hurts physically.

So about halfway through the workday, I was moving along as per usual till my left leg started to hurt a bit. Meh I thought It'll just go away like usual or I will just move through it but as the day progressed, I found that I my leg started hurting to a point where I had subconsciously just stopped bending it altogether. Started walking around with a weird walk and when I started to try and bend it, it did not feel pleasant. At. All. Well, I figured, okay, maybe, JUST maybe it will work itself out. It did not, it did not at all.

Well, I was going through the majority of the day in said limp walk when my higher up bud noticed and asked if I was okay. Told him that it hurt but so long as I don't bend the knee, can still keep trucking on. He kinda gives me a look and we continue. He notices my slight winces when my knee does bend. Asks again if I'm going to be okay. Tell him the same thing. We finish up a row and he notices that because I have been basically carrying my leg along as well as trying to keep pace, I seem a bit winded. He offers some Advil from the truck but we would have to walk to a guy so that he knows what we are doing, why we are doing it and not fucking around AND THEN we have to walk to the truck. We do this. I take the drugs. We start back and he asks if it has kicked in yet. I stare. Dude...it hasn't even been two minutes. What did you think you gave me? I tell him no after testing and bending knee. Fuck my life. Start back to work, kinda bending knee every now and again to see if pain is lessened. Finally bend knee and only minor pain. There is a god. Keep working till shift ends, get a call. End of the shift so I can use my phone. It is my deceased father's pastor. Says he is at his home boxing my dad's things with the landlord. Son-of-a-hooker. Talk with landlord about what is going down and he says that he was boxing things and needed to know what to do with it all. I tell him that I don't have the legal right to do anything yet but when I do, I will to the best of my ability. He says that I can take whatever I wanted, I just couldn't sell anything and that we should set up a date in order to go through the house and find out what to do with this stuff. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I tell him that I had just gotten a new job and that there is no way I could get there anytime that isn't the weekend. He tells me to call him Friday to set something up. Get to the motel and decide to take a shower, notice my arms are red, no big deal, they have been like that since I started. Get into the shower. Instant regret when water touches my arms. It burns like forty hells. Almost bust my ass in the shower from the sudden shock. Curse several words that I assume to be foul in nature. Force myself through the torment to get clean. Lay down on nice and cool bed. Get on computer. Reply to a few things, watch a bit of TV. Here we are.

So now I have to put that shitshow on my only time off and I have little in the idea or way of doing so. I don't know what to do with this stuff or what this stuff even entails but I feel like I am going to have to walk through another endeavor for this small thing that will more than likely NOT be a small thing on the already small amount of time I have to actually do things with new job which is still painful in its own right.

But I mean, that aside, I made it through the week and Friday I get to go home around Noon so it is only a half day. Positives. Positives. There are a lot of nice people that I work with and hope to work with them next week. The assholes not so much. Today is not Tuesday and the pain isn't all that bad. I get paid soon though I don't know when soon is but hopefully it is soon-soon. I would also like to think all of you that have been supportive in these times. No one asked you too(hopefully) and you didn't have to do anything. A 'hope things get better' would have sufficed and it would have made me happy. But the pure delight I have been in whilst speaking with Sprite, Sigir, Ironic, nightsorceress have been helpful beyond measure. And I wouldn't forget all the people I am RPing with that have been waiting and those that are starting ones with me or even just talking for the sake of it. You have my deepest thanks.

Replies:
@Sprite - I will be getting drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. I've never really liked the idea of massages, dunno why, like literally no idea. But I have been trying to pace myself to the best of my ability and so far, I think that after another week or two, I will adjust nicely to everything.
 
Beautiful reflection, Leon. You are an awesome person who has completed a huge challenge! Be sure to celebrate and pamper yourself, yes, guys can do this too. You're almost to the weekend! (fist bump and big smile). Remember, cross one bridge at a time.
 
Sounds very rough, and to top it off things piled up one over another. And yet, you persevered and went through it, admirable. You are amazing, keep at it!
 
!Quick Announcement!
Unforseen issues have arisen during the weekend and I can't reply/post to much, if at all. Sorry for the inconvenience and it may go till monday. In a rush and can't do proper journal entry posts or forum games. I will make sure to post reason when I can.
 
-Twelve Monkeys-
Song Listening to at Start: Airplanes - B.o.B feat. Hayley Williams

So, the weekend was nowhere near as peaceful as I had hoped it would be BUT it was also not a shit show....so yay? First and foremost, Friday was not as happy a day as I had wished it to be on the sole fact that we were told that when lunch rolls around (12 o'clock), we could leave to start heading home. Little did NO ONE KNOW that when we got on site, we were told that we'd be staying another three hours more. The fact that everyone was deadset on going home after eating or simply going home to eat was the primary objective really took a solid shot to moral, my own included. So, the day went as usual for the most part till the final stretch and that last hour took soooooo lllloooonnnggggggg.

But, when it finally hit three thirty, everyone loaded up and we were off and the ride was nice. Got to sit in the back, put my head phones in and just listened to music when the music on the radio wasn't to my liking. When I got to my car, I felt liberated. I was driving passed my mothers house so I figured I would swing by there and she was rather happy to hear about my time, laughing at my pain but it was all in good fun as we all laughed. She gave me some pain medication and some sun screen for the next week. I gave her my farewells and headed home where I took my stuff in, changed my shirt and went out to eat because I wanted too. Had a nice meal at a japanese restaurant and then came the call to the landlord on Saturday,

So, I was in the middle of doing errands and when he picked up......he told me that he was driving and that he would call me back in 20 minutes.....he never did.

Also, for the Quick Announcement issue that was thrown out there, that was due to the fact that I had a little.......disagreement with my roommate. He caught me on my way back to my room and brought up my paycheck and how much I make so he could start trying to figure out what bills I could do. It kinda set me off because I don't want my only days off to be filled with bills and nagging. I plan on paying for what I think I need to pay for. I'm gone five of the seven days so that adds up to very little. So he and I got into a rather heated debate and it ended with me just shutting my mouth and just walking away which pissed him off royally and I just couldn't get into any sort of mind set to do anything on site so I just didn't do any computer things at all for the weekend in order to really just.....relax and unwind.


Now to today. I didn't want to wake up T-T
I was so tired last night and I laid down really early too. But it didn't.....I......didn't...... I laid there, without phone or anything but darkness. And still, nothing for hours. I finally figured that I was at a point of no return and broke down. Took a swig of my Nyquil and laid back down and finally after a few minutes, I was gone. And then suddenly I woke up to my alarm going off. I Hated My Life. The sleep was bliss, it was that nice dead sleep that I love but when I woke up, it was broken. And because I took the Nyquil, I was still drowsy and just wanted to go back to sleep. So badly. I was able to get out of bed, get dressed and out the door in normal time. All the usual without the worry this time so that is a plus. Drove back to the worksite and it was the same one. Worked till lunch but when we got back, it started to thunder and because of that, we couldn't work. After about an hour of waiting, they sent us to the hotel early. Which left us with nothing to do and down some hours which, and this is the worst case scenario, we'd have to work this Saturday. And if it lightning's any more and we miss more days, it will become more and more likely that it is going to have negative repercussions on the crew because either that means they will be taking a day of the weekend to make up for lost time OR we will have to start getting up earlier and getting off later. BOTH of which no one is going to like in the slightest.

Added to all this. Because it rained, we now have to work in the muck that will surely be waiting for us tomorrow and while I have zero problem with that at all. I do have a problem with the high humidity of the air that makes it feel like your fucking drowning BUT even that pale in comparison to....the bugs,,,,there are out there, waiting, plotting. Aiming to annoy and devour all those that they lay their eyes on. I will be brave. I will persevere. I will survive.
 
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