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Not getting responses when reaching out

breakingcounsel

breakingcounsel

Super-Earth
Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Location
USA
Pardon me for the rant, but here goes.

I have reached out to a number of people here (who shall remain anonymous) after looking through their request threads via PM. I felt that I was fairly detailed in what I said, even commenting on some of their ideas and things from the thread. However, for one reason or another, I get stiffed sometimes. No response, not even a “thanks but no thanks” message.

What gets me, though, is this; these people read my messages to them. And they deigned to reply.

Maybe I’m just a little sensitive, but to me, that’s just rude. Even if someone doesn’t appeal to me, I try to respond to them in a polite manner. Granted, I understand that real life takes priority, but... come on, it doesn’t take that much effort to put together a reply, whether a “thanks but no thanks” or responding to the interest shown and taking it further.
 
I've been on this site for a little over four years now. It happens to all, having your detailed and well thought out roleplay request being completely ignored. It's the internet where people have a degree of anonymity and they don't have to ante up when it comes to such social interactions. They can just step back and avoid the whole deal. How they chose to conduct themselves is up to them and is entirely on them as well, not you. Just don't let it drag you down. Shrug it off and keep trying, I would advise. There are still hundreds of untapped writers out there I'm sure you haven't approached and still have a shot with. You'll find them!
 
Soran_Jaymes said:
Pardon me for the rant, but here goes.

I have reached out to a number of people here (who shall remain anonymous) after looking through their request threads via PM. I felt that I was fairly detailed in what I said, even commenting on some of their ideas and things from the thread. However, for one reason or another, I get stiffed sometimes. No response, not even a “thanks but no thanks” message.

What gets me, though, is this; these people read my messages to them. And they deigned to reply.

Maybe I’m just a little sensitive, but to me, that’s just rude. Even if someone doesn’t appeal to me, I try to respond to them in a polite manner. Granted, I understand that real life takes priority, but... come on, it doesn’t take that much effort to put together a reply, whether a “thanks but no thanks” or responding to the interest shown and taking it further.
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Get this. I was in a deep and very creative RP. I made sure that my partner was happy with the way tings were going etc. After bothering from her I tried to send PM only to find all trace of her had disappeared from the site. I agree if you're no longer/not interested just say.
 
I wouldn't bother reading the same specific intent into every silence or it can be maddening, when it happens I just move on. It may be plain rudeness, someone reading the message and forgetting to answer, other may just think that the message or the sender deserve that, others get caught by real life... I mean, we are a varied bunch and rejection happens. As Benny said, shrug it off and keep trying.
 
I'm just going to echo what everyone else has said. This is nothing personal agaisnt you - it happens to literally everyone. It's what happens in the role-play world and it is extremely frustrating but also, very common.

Some people don't know how to reject someone politely or fear backlash from rejecting. Some just don't care. Don't stress yourself about it too much. Keep your chin up, sweet heart.
 
Thanks, Bear. And the rest of you, too.

I know it happens to literally everyone, but I was just feeling particularly irritated about it when I wrote the original post. Perhaps it wasn’t the best state of mind to be writing things in, but what’s done is done.

That being said, I do appreciate all the support. I really do.
 
We are always here to support you. ♡ You've got this!!!
 
There are so many different possible reasons. Personally, I've received a zillion short requests that have very little going on (which I specifically warn I don't care for), and quite a few more substantial starts that still managed to crash right into one of my major no's. Apart from all that, the message search system is pretty clumsy (sometimes it just doesn't work), and people may get too much going on in their Inbox and forget or miss one sometimes.

There can also be all sorts of picky situations that people don't like to discuss very much... I hate it when I like a proposal - if only it were maybe from someone else!- but something about the avatar or the flavor or style of a person's posts just scream noooo, not going to work for me. Sometimes you can just have a sort of okay, obviously we aren't going to get along ideologically or philosophically or for the "type" of people one seeks - to put it mildly.

I don't think it's as annoying to get no reply to an inquiry, as to be dropped in the middle of an ongoing story with no discussion at all. But I do understand that inquiries take effort too and it can be frustrating. Even so, I tend to ask for a lot of sharing early on because I'd rather check things out then and not have some of those questions trip up a story later. At least, it works for the things I know are important. You can't easily filter everything, but that's another way to understand the bumpy starts.
 
I find this irks me to. Even when you get a reply from people and you set up something to work on together; politely, open communication, you both agree and start. Then boom, without warning, gone. They read your message...you give them a day or two because hell, everyone's busy. But then you send a polite inquiry. They read that too, but still don't reply. I know the internet gives you the ability to be anonymous and we can all be guilty of ghosting, but you'd think if someone gives an honest, polite, sincere effort, you'd at LEAST say "thanks but no thanks."

So frustrating, but yeah, I get it. Best to move on and not waste time with such people.
 
I always try to reply, unless it's an empty message titled "hiya" or "waves". The worst. I never know what to say to that.
That said, I know some girls who don't reply to say "no", because some guys won't let them be.
 
I try my best these days to politely decline if I'm not interested, but I understand why some people don't. I've had situations where I've declined a request and had them go off on me, when ever that's happened I would turtle up and simply not respond to requests.

I don't get many requests these days and I don't have a request thread any more because ive been so busy, so I make a habit of politely declining if I do get a request, but again I understand where some may simply not respond. yes it can be disheartening, but the best way to go about it is leave it be and move on. Ive also had those that pester me during times when ive gone in turtle mode and that's just as bad.

Yes it can suck when it happens, but there's more out there.
 
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