the collection || bear & malicious lullaby

[HeyThereLittleBear]

Transfixed, she watched as her own fingers were tremlbing inside the handles of scissors, the blades jiggling just at the line of her eyebrows. Her throat worked as she swalllowed her own thick saliva and closed her eyes. The resistance of hair as she cut felt like cutting away the dead weight of the past, the sudden light feeling in the front of her face causing a slow sigh. When she opened her eyes again, she was staring at someone in half-transformed into something else. Her hand moved the scissors further and this time her fingers didn't tremble as it made a slow hiss across her hairline.

Her nervous eyes met those of her reflection as the scissors clattered to the bathroom counter. Her lips twitched upward before an awkward laugh tumbled out of her mouth, taking in the sight of her own pale-white face. She looked as if she'd seen a ghost but she felt as light as one. She let her hand come up to touch her newly-formed bangs and another laugh fell from her lips, less nervous as she let her hansdn cup her own face.

Such a small change but it was such a big difference, revealing the face that she'd hidden for years behind her dark hair. She looked at herself - truly looked at herself - and saw someone that she recognized. She saw May.

Despite the rough years that she'd been through lately with Travis, May had managed to keep the one thing that had kept his lies and kept the truth of her dirtiest secret. The bruises had all healed but no one had seen them anyways. With clothes on, she had always been picture perfect, with green almond-shaped eyes and hair that framed her high cheeks.Her nose was upturned just enough to make her cute and the distant memories of freckles still lingered across the bridge of it. That had always been his favorite part of her.

The distant ghost of his fingers still lingered on her face and her hands pulled away from herself, brushing again on the new straight line of her bangs. Enough. Today was a new day, a new May.

Today she broke her own cycle.

And it started with new hair, and now a new routine.

The coffee shop had been forbidden to her. It was always too expensive, he'd said, and coffee was bad for your teeth. Well fuck him and his thoughts. He'd bloodied and beaten everything else from her, had destroyed her spirit. And this was how she would fill the cup again. The coffee felt like a victory of its own, its warmth making her hands more secure and her eyes close as she brought the rim to her nose and inhaled deeply. Oh, sweet heaven. Oh --

Oh shit.

She let out a yelp as her body made connection with someone else in what could only have been described as the worst scene from the cheesiest move she'd ever seen, the rim of the cup busting enough to splatter coffee around her like a crime scene.

"I... Oh my god, I am so, so sorry!"

 

[Malicious Lullaby]

With precise and detailed movement, his strong hand very delicately urged the paintbrush with the thinnest brush tip coated in black paint to the porcelain face, outlining a beautiful face. Dark brown bangs arched over one side of his forehead that was licked with beads of sweat, his brows furrowed and the dark depths of his eyes focused intently on his latest masterpiece at hand.

Until her screams echoed in his ears once again, causing him to draw a jagged and crooked line on the beautiful doll’s delicate face. Anger bubbled in him. This would be the third doll he ruined, all because she wouldn’t just shut the fuck up.

Placing the brush down beside him deceptively calmly, he grabbed the doll by it’s neck and then threw it at the wall, hearing the heartbreaking smash of porcelain into bits and pieces scatter on the ground, its clothes now just an insignificant lump of material on the ground. No longer calm, he rolled his neck and straightened his spine, a satisfying crack playing to his ears before he barged right to her cell and threw it open. The moment he did, she launched herself at him but he caught her by her slender and fragile throat. “I told you to shut up!” Launching her, face first into the wall, her screams and thrashing went silent. All he heard were her moans and whimpers of pain as he let her body go.

Kneeling down beside her with all the gentleness in the world to afford, he lifted her chin with his fingers and gazed down at her bleeding face. He tutted his tongue three times and let out a harsh sigh. “Look at what you made me do.” He crooned, cupped her cheeks with both hands. As she began to cry, he leaned down and pressed his forehead to her bleeding one. “Why did you make me do it?” He whispered hoarsely, tortured and pained. She tried to apologize but her pleas fell on deaf ears.

“Look at your face.” He whispered, tracing his finger over her bleeding nose and lips, swiping up her blood. He brought his finger to his lips and tasted; somehow her blood tasted acrid now and he shook his head. “No good.” He shook his head again and stood, dropping her on the ground like a rag doll that weighed nothing. She pleaded again, sobbing uncontrollably. He did nothing. But when she curled up next to his leg, clutching it like she suddenly wanted to be his again, he lost it.

Grabbing her by her hair, he launched her into the wall face first again and she screamed. “Ruined Dolly.” He mumbled, eyes wide and stark as he once again slammed her face first into the wall, hearing a crack--whether it was the wall or her face he didn’t know or care. He kept doing it again until he heard mush and her blood coated the wall. Dropping her lifeless body, he looked down at her with dark and clouded eyes shadowed and framed by his bangs and sighed heavily. “Dead Dolly.”

Once he disposed of her body, cleaned up the wall with bleach so there was no evidence of her blood and completely restored her cell, he sat down at his desk and started working on his latest masterpiece. His mind ran rampant of what he would do next when the scouting began. And thanks to his latest dolly, he knew there was another out there, ripe for the taking.

Which was how, a week later, he found himself at the local coffee shop that served some of the best coffee he ever tasted, standing outside while his gaze was locked on the barista making coffee. That was her. The very one. He watched her even before he took her friend and though she hadn’t been his first choice, she would suffice. And perhaps she would be perfect the way her friend wasn’t. While he usually liked it when they screamed, he had to be doing something to them to make them scream. Otherwise, it was dreadfully annoying. And his last dolly had become just that--dreadfully annoying. So really, it was her own fault she was now six feet under in some vacant spot on his family’s old property.

Sliding his hand into his pocket to retrieve his phone as he opened the door and slipped inside. He looked down while his finger swiped the lock key, looking up occasionally to make sure he didn’t bump into anyone when the time he didn’t look up, he felt a bump followed by boiling hot liquid touching his arm, cascading down.

He felt it for a second before it stopped, his soft caramel brown eyes glossed as they stuck on the girl before him. She wasn’t the barista. She wasn’t anyone he had been tailing. She was a nobody and yet he could pick her face out in millions and never forget the detail of it. She looked exactly like her, not a single detail out of place from the last time he saw her in his youth. Maya…

A smile spread slowly and he shook his head. “No, please don’t worry about it. The fault was all mine.” He said softly, strikingly calm despite his usual demeanor. “It was my fault anyways. I’m the big oaf looking at his phone when I should be looking more clearly…” He couldn’t look away from her at this very moment. “I mean, looking where I am going that is.” He cleared his throat.

Stepping back a little, he offered his free hand to hers. “I’m Paxton.” He said softly. “May I buy you another coffee?”

 

[HeyThereLittleBear]

Shame and embarrassment tugged the lifting feeling in her chest back down to the level of dirt, her eyes looking over the man's coffee-splattered clothes then finally down to her own. She had been wearing an off-white blouse that was secured at her waist with a band of light brown leather, but now it was stained not so tastefully with splattered mocha and looked simply awful. Her jeans had missed the most of it but she could see that her thighs and calves were dripping still and running down into her sneakers.

"Oh, no, it was totally all my fault." She said, finally looking up to meet his eyes. They looked a few shades lighter than the coffee and were simply beautiful, her breath catching for a moment as she felt the shame tug just a bit more on her heart strings.

Paxton. Wow.

"I, um," She was struggling with English now, not only because of the fact she had just given this man a refreshing shower of bean water, but because this was the first time she'd encountered someone asking her out in any manner of speaking, "I'm May." She offered, looking away from his eyes and down at her half empty cup of coffee. Her little victory seemed so pathetic now that it was mostly on the floor and she felt like it was all a bad idea.

No. That's Travis' way of thinking. She let the voice in her head lend her confidence, her teeth biting her lower lip softly for a second. "You know what? I would love it. I'll let you buy me coffee if you let me buy us croissants. It's the least I can do for making your shirt into a Jackson Pollock." The words felt strange coming from her lips but she didn't stumble over them and it felt... Good. It felt good to flirt again.

"Deal?"

 

[Malicious Lullaby]

Whether it was the look of mortification on her face or just the striking resemblance, all Paxton knew was that he had to have her. And when she met his gaze, it felt like his heart stopped beating for a moment. Oh, so that’s what they called skipping a beat. Turning the charm on, he smiled slowly. His gaze looked like he was already doting on her, finding all her imperfections so perfect it made him feel things he hadn’t before.

I’m May. And if that wasn’t fate, he didn’t know what was! “Pleasure May.” His voice was like luscious caramel, matching the hue in his eyes, his gaze unable to look anywhere else. It was like being sucker punched in the gut but in the best way possible. She should bring back up the worst memories of his life but she did everything but that. She brought back a fullness he hadn’t felt in ten years. And that was just from one look.

His smile turned into a grin at her acquiescence and he found himself nodding his head. “Fair enough. I can’t turn down a free croissant.” Steering her back toward the line, he was completely oblivious to the hideous stain in his crisp white shirt. It was taking all he had not to just outright stare at her, or even poke her to further confirm she was indeed real. “You make it sound like it’s a bad thing, wearing a Jackson Pollock.” He smirked. “His work is so sought after, so I hear at least. Not really an art connoisseur myself.” He shrugged. “But it seems like you’ve done the same to you so we can be fetching together.”

Once at the front, he let her order what she wanted and then ordered a coffee for himself, as well as two croissants and before any objections could be made, he handed over cash and glanced at May. “I insist.” He grinned, receiving his change and the two croissants in their own sleeves before moving her along. “I normally am very good about deals, but this one was my first deal breaker. Perhaps I can make it up to you? Say...later tonight?” Smooth.

 

[HeyThereLittleBear]

His eyes reminded her of warm candy and she knew now why Travis had always been so strict about her going places. There were people like this that wandered the streets as moving pieces of art and were ready to sweep her off her feet. And, well, he was doing quite exceptionally at it. She could feel the warmth spreading in her cheeks as she blushed just a bit at his attention, her eyes catching his studying her face as if she were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Even as they turned and got into line she could feel him catching on her as if she were the sun and he couldn't help be dazzled by her.

It made her feel warm in a way she hadn't in a long time, and for a moment she was so sure of herself that this was the best choice she'd made in a long time. He was a handsome,, friendly, and seemingly sweet guy... And he was interested in her. Infatuated with her, it seemed. But still, Travis' voice was ricocheting about her in her head, his whispered insults and harshly growled slurs that he would hurl at her to drag her back down. The smile on her face faltered, then fell, her eyes moving to the cup even as he explained how Jackson Pollock paintings were well sought after.

"I... You know, you're right actually." She was finding her way back to the confidence she'd been able to achieve, letting a smile find its way back onto her lips as she looked down at their mutually ruined clothing. It wasn't any work of art by any means, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. And Paxton admittedly looked good splattered in coffee, though the crisp white had been undoubtedly gorgeous on him.

May was too caught up in her own thoughts to have made a move to stop him when he paid for both their drinks and the croissants, her smile gaining strength as she let him get away with his devious plan. His charm was laid on thick but she was enjoying it, her cup hiding her smirk as she brought it to her lips to take an appreciate sip to buy time. "Tonight... I think I can fit you in my schedule." She said, turning to lead him away from the registers and towards one of the comfortable leather chairs that were in the lounge area. "What do you have in mind for tonight?"

 

[Malicious Lullaby]

It had almost broken him to see her falter. He knew she wasn’t Maya. But it was like seeing Maya’s long-lost twin sister or just her doppelganger and he wanted to do anything he could to make sure her smile never faltered from her face again. Something happened to this May. Something or someone happened to her and there was a brief surge of anger and rage. Who would dare hurt his sweet Maya?

Paxton found them in the line but he kept looking at her, trying to see if she would falter again but it seemed she recuperated. Good. Now if he could just keep that going. He’d make sure she never frowned again. She’d give her everything. He banished the thoughts from his mind. He had to stay on task and scaring her away because he was being a creeper would not serve in his best interests. Or hers.

He ordered their drinks and croissants and paid for them all, even though that hadn’t been the deal. What could he say? He needed an excuse and he thought he found a pretty damn good one. Especially since she was interested. Drinks in hand, he took the two bags with their croissants and stepped out of the way, following her to one of the leather chairs. He sat down across from her and handed her one of the bags and set his on his lap. Taking a sip from his coffee, Paxton sat there like he didn’t have a coffee stained shirt.

Offering her a charming smile, he leisurely crossed a leg over the other, ankle to knee, and cleared his throat. “Well...it’s this called a ‘date.’” He couldn’t help the bit of sarcasm, even though he smiled. “See, old fashioned customs say the guy picks the girl up at her place, maybe brings her flowers or something and takes her out to dinner and is on his best behavior in the hopes of scoring a second date or first base.” He grinned. “But...the times have changed. I could be wrong. I was born in the late eighties.”

 

[HeyThereLittleBear]

The moment her rump hit the seat she could hear his voice in her head, a shadow of her past that demanded she cross her legs - at the ankles, not the knees. She could feel the ghost of his hand as he'd adjusted her ages ago into the position he'd wanted, his fingers dancing slow down her calves and back up to her knees as he'd forced her to sit like the lady he wanted her to be. Her eyes set and for a moment she warred with the person she had been trained to be and she made the conscious decision to go against what had been literally beaten into her. Her lips formed a hard line and she uncrossed her ankles, letting her legs sit delicately side-by-side with a soft sigh.

It was the small victories that counted.

May put all of her focus instead into the charming man that sat before her with smoldering eyes and coffee-splattered clothing. Her face found the smile she'd been wanting to keep and she let herself fall more naturally into the conversation of sarcasm and the planning of a date. "Oh, really?" She shot back with her smile moving towards a smirk, "Do tell me more about your customs. They sound so strange from my own." She teased back, taking his sarcasm as a way to start up a way to play.

"See, where I'm from, a 'date' could consist of anything from drinks to movies," She leaned in then, as if she were about to divulge something absolutely scandalous, "But we could truly break custom and perhaps watch a movie at your house." She offered with a wink, hiding her playful smile by taking a sip of her fresh coffee.

 

[Malicious Lullaby]

He was absolutely captivated by her. His eyes on her, she looked like she was in war with herself. He noticed by the way she seemed to sit rigidly and then relaxed, even uncrossing her ankles. Raising a brow, he wanted to know what that was about. In fact, he wanted to demand it from her and ask why she would even think to cross her legs in such a matronly way. But it wasn’t his business. He would make it his business.

Paxton’s lips twitched in a smile that slowly bloomed into a grin. This girl had moxy. He could agree that she wasn’t Maya, not exactly, but the resemblance was truly uncanny. And her name...it was even perfect. Her name was May. He would turn her into his new Maya. And this time nothing would take her away from him. Not even all the natural or unnatural forces of evil in this world, Paxton being exempted from it. He wasn’t evil. He served a very distinct purpose. It was not his fault that all those dead were ruined. They asked for it. Just like it was not his fault they didn’t please him. They didn’t have to upset him. They could have just kept their mousy little mouths shut.

“Well if that’s what your custom is…” he chuckled. “Looks like mine is not that different. I do like the idea of a movie at my place.” He grinned. He didn’t even want to ask her why she was so willing to come to his home. He would just scare her away by planting that seed of doubt. “What do you say to...seven? My place. I’ll even throw in dinner to go with our movie.”

 

[HeyThereLittleBear]

The way he looked at her at times made her feel like he was staring at the most beautiful thing in the world and for a moment... It was a moment, but she did have a doubt. There was no way she was beautiful enough to attract this much attention from someone like him, and no way that fate would align so beautifully to let her meet someone who could erase all the scars Travis had left on her. But the doubt was gone with his charming grin, his eyes looking as if someone had planted the stars in them.

That smile could have convinced her to murder someone.

And suddenly the doubts seemed so insignificant because if he looked at her like that, what else could he be thinking? He must think she was something very special indeed to light her world up with that ray of sunlight. She was a helpless fly now in the web of a spider, and she was so very ignorant to just how devilishly true that metaphor was.

"Oh, dinner? You're too kind. Going all out for just me?" She blushed just a bit and acted meek, though it perhaps wasn't all an act. Travis had a cycle in which he would dote on her immediately after beating her to remind her that he wasn't all about the pain. He would treat her like a goddess... And this was kind of like that, but without the dull throb of her own heartbeat behind a fresh bruise. She was in a new world trying to play by the rules of the old one.

"You're way too charming."

 

[Malicious Lullaby]

Sitting back in his seat, he propped his elbow on the arm rest and traced his finger over his lips as he looked her over. The way she blushed did things to him. She was so modest and he had a feeling it wasn’t just an act. She was the epitome of grace because of her modesty and humility. None of the women in his past since Maya ever came close. He could mold women into being something he wanted but he didn’t even have to mold May. He wouldn’t have to. Either she was just like this or...someone did his work for him. At the very thought, a swell of anger bubbled up in him but he didn’t let it show.

“Just for you, May. I don’t do this for just anyone. But I must admit, you’ve already captivated me. From the moment you made a Jackson Pollock out of my shirt and coffee.” He grinned, dropping his hand onto the arm rest from his lips and leaned a little forward to her, but not invasively. “So dinner and a movie. What is your favorite dish? I’ll cook it for you.” He was a man of many talents, and cooking happened to be one of them.

“Too charming? Is there such a thing?” He chuckled. “Does this mean you agree for tonight? And...I can have your phone number so I can text you my address?” He asked with an innocent smile.

 

[HeyThereLittleBear]

May could do nothing less than smile at him over her cup of coffee as she drank more than she intended to, but it was all she could do to stop herself from watching his every move. He moved his fingers around his lips, tracing them in a way that made her wish she was doing the same. She was a tender soul, a romantic at heart and she had always pictured soft moments in which she would trace a man's lips before placing a kiss. He was handsome, it wouldn't be hard at all for her to imagine being wrapped up in his arms and tugged against his chest. Even covered in coffee, he was the most handsome man that had ever had interest in her

"Oh," She felt shy beneath his attention, but she couldn't deny she enjoyed it more than she let on, though her pink cheeks spoke volumes that her mouth didn't dare to say. "I think it's a deal that we're on for tonight." She said, reaching into her purse to provide a pen.

"Let me write my number down for you," She said, motioning toward his hand. "Can't wait for tonight." She added after a moment, flashing him a smile that felt like the real May. This wasn't Travis' May. This was... Her

 

[Malicious Lullaby]

He had to keep himself composed and not just pounce on her. Her shyness was...infectious. It was one of the major things he loved about Maya. She was shy, humble and very aware of how she portrayed herself so that she always put the best version of herself out there for people to know of. He wanted her. He needed her. He wanted to peel off their coffee-stained clothes and feel her naked beneath him or on top of him. He wanted to memorize every inch of her body. She was everything that he needed in his life, like a balm, a cure, and she didn’t even know it.

She would. One day. When he was sure it wouldn’t mean having to get rid of her the way he had been forced to get rid of Maya.

“Thank you.” He held his hand out to her and watched her intently as she wrote it down. He couldn’t help himself. Paxton reached his hand out and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear that got loose. His hand traced down the side of her cheek and lightly cupped her chin with his two fingers. “I can’t wait either.” Once she finished writing her number down on his hand, he stood and brought her up with him. “Unfortunately, I must be off. But...I will see you tonight at my place. It’s been an absolute pleasure to meet you May. I am…” He couldn’t help his smile, though he hoped he didn’t come off as too eager or excited looking. “I am very excited.”

Taking her hand, he lifted it up and kissed the back of it before leaving her side. It felt like he could breathe, even as he left the coffee shop and headed back to his car. Not because of the fresh air but because of May.

 

[HeyThereLittleBear]

There was a certain charm to writing her number on his hand, almost like she was a child again and writing notes on a friend. The nostalgia of simpler times was enough to distract her from the view of his other hand coming up to tuck her hair, her first reaction being to flinch from his touch. As it slid soft down her cheek she eased into it, her face hot as his fingers lingered beneath her chin. She could lavish in his touch for days and enjoy him like a fine wine. Travis had only touched her like this after he'd left her bruised and beaten, and never did it quite feel as good. She felt like her skin was tingling and for a moment she wanted to giggle like a schoolgirl.

The moment passed and she stayed silent, becuase nothing would have made it past her lips if she'd tried. She was breathless.

He was like a whirlwind that came into her life so suddenly, wrecking everything that she knew and leaving behind... What? She was left speechless and staring at his back as he left the coffeeshop, her coffee still in hand as she awkwardly waved at his receding figure. She could feel herself lingering there, not quite sure what to do with herself because she hadn't been to a coffee shop by herself in years. Her momentary stall turned into an awkward exit, suddenly feeling very out of place among the quiet small talk and the gentle tap of keys as people worked on their laptops at small tables

The walk home left her with more questions than answers to what had happened, her hand pulling her phone out of her pocket and staring at it. How long would it be before he texted her? God, what should she wear? She hadn't even been on a date before. Panic tore fresh through her as she realized not only was she in completely uncharted territory...She had no business being here.

Oh God...What have I done?