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- Joined
- Apr 20, 2017
- Location
- In various dark corners of the world
Why is at the core
Why do we fall in love with someone we know won't love us back, who can't even see us? I used to think it was a folly particular to me but I am older now, wiser. I've sailed the seas , driven the roads, hoked the trails, ridden the rapids, climbed the mountains, and flown the world. I have found treasures of the flesh ripe for the taking in many quarters. I am blooded.
I have seen the hearts and souls of thousands of travelers and locals, they open themselves to me , why I cannot say, but that I talk to them, I tell my story and elicit theirs , they recall, they remark. Warriors, thieves, lawmen, outlaws , healers, and many many regular people who are nevertheless the heroes of their own stories.
It is a gift , it is a curse. To want to know, to be able to know, and to remember. Each leaving a trace of themselves on my soul, I come away somehow changed each time, no matter how small. Some even cry the things they tell me not thought of or spoken of in years. Sometimes it is too much for me to bear and I hide. I become my technical self, the analytical, clinical , distant me . Few words and fewer smiles. I do this because I need to keep the world out sometimes, to be just me.
But mostly I am always taking in, listening, talking. And it seems none are immune, no one type of person is so wise and so self controlled that they can control who we desire, who fills our waking thoughts and their dreams. At any given time perhaps, but not forever. There seems to always be one.
One is enough when it's unrequited, when it is hopeless, when it makes so much sense , when it would be the more perfect than you ever could have hoped. That is enough to bring you low, to rip out your guts on the way to your heart and your soul. When you would give nearly anything to hear their voice , to touch them again , to embrace... the softness in their eyes when they look at you. How it makes you long. How it makes you wish. How you bargain with no one in particular, you plan and plot, but these cannot bring it about when it was never meant to be.
Yes it can never be, and we know it going in, and we still fall for it. We still do it. Why? Because we live, we are human. Because we have hope. Because we have hearts. The heart's desire is bound by neither the laws of man nor physics .
So take a deep breath even if it hurts in the chest, and move on. I won't tell you to not think of them, it would do no good. Fill your life with other things, and perhaps one day you will find a love that can be. There are no promises but there is always hope.
Why do we fall in love with someone we know won't love us back, who can't even see us? I used to think it was a folly particular to me but I am older now, wiser. I've sailed the seas , driven the roads, hoked the trails, ridden the rapids, climbed the mountains, and flown the world. I have found treasures of the flesh ripe for the taking in many quarters. I am blooded.
I have seen the hearts and souls of thousands of travelers and locals, they open themselves to me , why I cannot say, but that I talk to them, I tell my story and elicit theirs , they recall, they remark. Warriors, thieves, lawmen, outlaws , healers, and many many regular people who are nevertheless the heroes of their own stories.
It is a gift , it is a curse. To want to know, to be able to know, and to remember. Each leaving a trace of themselves on my soul, I come away somehow changed each time, no matter how small. Some even cry the things they tell me not thought of or spoken of in years. Sometimes it is too much for me to bear and I hide. I become my technical self, the analytical, clinical , distant me . Few words and fewer smiles. I do this because I need to keep the world out sometimes, to be just me.
But mostly I am always taking in, listening, talking. And it seems none are immune, no one type of person is so wise and so self controlled that they can control who we desire, who fills our waking thoughts and their dreams. At any given time perhaps, but not forever. There seems to always be one.
One is enough when it's unrequited, when it is hopeless, when it makes so much sense , when it would be the more perfect than you ever could have hoped. That is enough to bring you low, to rip out your guts on the way to your heart and your soul. When you would give nearly anything to hear their voice , to touch them again , to embrace... the softness in their eyes when they look at you. How it makes you long. How it makes you wish. How you bargain with no one in particular, you plan and plot, but these cannot bring it about when it was never meant to be.
Yes it can never be, and we know it going in, and we still fall for it. We still do it. Why? Because we live, we are human. Because we have hope. Because we have hearts. The heart's desire is bound by neither the laws of man nor physics .
So take a deep breath even if it hurts in the chest, and move on. I won't tell you to not think of them, it would do no good. Fill your life with other things, and perhaps one day you will find a love that can be. There are no promises but there is always hope.