All's Not Gone [w/ Amaranthine]

[Styxx]

Emma didn't know where she had lost her way - was it back in second year, when a break up cost her two credits and her sanity? Was it when she first moved to that town, torn from everyone she ever knew only to be forced to make a new life for herself - or did it predate all of that, back to when she still lived in Mayberry and she slowly lost herself piece by piece to people who would never love her? She didn't know, not really. All she knew was that one overdose later she was back in Mayberry, back in that town she had spent her life trying to get away from and now all she had was a part time job and her antidepressants to keep her sane. Everyone was gone, everyone else had kept their sanity and left. She didn't quite know why she was back here - maybe because there was no place to go, maybe because she'd lost her ambition. Maybe what she needed most was to be back where her family were, and the few friends that she had kept in touch with over the years since she had finished high school.

The twenty-one year old let out a sigh as she pulled a stiff brush through her short, chin-length red hair. She had just moved in to a cheap one bedroom apartment not even a week ago. Things were still in boxes, furniture was still missing. Her mom had promised her a dining table and chairs that she wasn't using any more, but those weren't here yet. The squeaky old bed she'd slept on as a teenager and the old couch she'd spent years slouching and napping on were from her father, who was grateful to have a reason to replace them. None of it was good, but it was hers now and, well, at least she had something. After she finished her hair she walked out in to the living room and sat down on the far left of the couch, leaning forward to grab the wireless keyboard from the wooden coffee table a foot off from the furniture. A flick from the mouse she had on the arm was enough to bring her computer to life, lighting up the tv screen she had it attached to.

Idly, she scrolled through social media as she waited for something interesting to pop up.

 

[Amaranthine]

Jackson's nerves had been burning, making him desperate to flee from home as he stood outside with a cigarette in his mouth, listening to his girlfriend mouth off about this and that and how he never paid enough attention to her. How was it is fault that he was the only one that worked? It was bullshit and he was sick of it. He had spent three years now with Sam, and every day he wished he had left as soon as the thought had popped in his mind. He had been meaning to leave her when out of the blue he found out that she was pregnant. Now... Well, he stuck with it for the true love of his life, his two year old little girl Maya. That didn't make him hate being with Sam any less, though.

With Maya asleep, Jackson felt comfortable taking a break from everything. He grabbed his backpack from inside of the house and left after making sure he had his wallet and phone, ignoring Sam's calls asking where he was going. He didn't need to deal with that right now, and he just wanted to go for a walk - though that walk maay take him a haldhour's car ride to the next town to stay at his parents for a night or two. Maybe it was immature, walking away, but it was better to walk away than to yell in his mind.

From now... Where to go? He naturally wandered towards the liquor store, as he felt a bottle of whiskey would do him well. He scrolled through facebook as he walked, and he checked who was online a familiar name made him feel like making mistakes - Emma. God, he had loved her and in another life he wouldn't have fucked up so bad with her. He had been about to ask her to get back with him when he had found out that Sam was pregnant... His biggest regret was that he didn't do that anyways. Emma was supposed to be the one he had babies with, who he grew old with. She was the one he had been most excited with - there had never been a dull moment.

He doesnt message her until half an hour later, when he's sipping whiskey and coke out of a McDonalds cup. "You're back in town right? Want to meet up?"

 

[Styxx]

Emma had been idly scouring through youtube videos, clicking from one to the next with no real destination in mind when her phone vibrated on the coffee table. Putting the keyboard on her lap to the side, she leaned in and grabbed her phone off of the table. Jackson - wow, she hadn't been expecting to see that name light up her phone. Harmony maybe, perhaps even Naomi - not Jackson. She hadn't heard at him at all in the last few months, and she had hoped that meant that things were going well for him. They had years of history dating back to when she was barely even a freshman in high school, freshly fourteen and new to the concepts of boys and love. They had learned the ins and outs of the human body together - how to make someone squirm and moan, how to lick and suck and fuck and all of the good stuff.

God, it had been so long ago now. She'd given their on and off relationship the final off the summer before she turned seventeen, and at almost twenty-two that made five years. It would be a lie to say that she hadn't thought about it since, but after a point she grew too old for the childish on and off and if he couldn't commit to her then that was it. She had almost considered giving him one last shot, after she started school. Then... well, she found out he was having a kid. That changed things entirely, and ever since she had done nothing but support him and love his daughter.

Now? Well, she would be lying if she tried to say that she never thought about what life could have brought them... they were a world of could have beens and should have beens that they would never get to see.

"Yeah sure, what's up?" She texted back, and waited for a reply.

 

[Amaranthine]

When Emma replied back within minutes, Jackson smiled a goofy, half-cocked grin. He sipped at his drink through the straw of his cup and walked out of the McDonalds. Looking around, this area was incredibly familiar to him. Emma's hold family home was just around the corner, the one where they had snuck in and out of time and time again when they were young and reckless. The park he'd lost his virginity in was just two blocks down, across the river. It had long since lost its' equipment and the forest had been torn apart, removing the bench he'd sat on as he slipped himself inside of his favourite redhead time and time again. All of it was memories now - her family had moved, their park was gone. His parents had moved to another town, meaning the one other place that had been theirs was also just a piece of the past now.

All of those places had been great, though, and he wished he had never given them up.

"Not too much just wanna hanf," he texted back, a typo landing on the word 'hang'. He quickly corrected himself, and then shot off another text. "Where are you anyways? Still at your dad's?"

 

[Styxx]

"I'm actually over near Everest now" she texted back, referencing the high school they had once went to. She was in an apartment building not far from there, and it also wasn't very far from where she had lived as a teenager, either. In fact, she could get to the McDonalds he was at in fifteen minutes - Everest was just about five minutes away for her. She would have suggested meeting there but she didn't know he was so close, so she sent off another message asking him where he was, as his house was on the other side of town.

She knew it wasn't as simple as "he wanted to hang". It was never that simple, and she loved that as much as she hated it. She loved that she was who he ran to when he needed someone, that she was the one who could keep him sane and make him happy. She also felt guilty, though - she had no right to be that person in his life and she knew that full well. She knew Sam hated her, wanted her as far away from Jackson as possible. Hell - Emma had only met his two year old, Maya, twice in the last two years because of Sam. (Which hurt, frankly, as she had wanted from the start to be able to watch that little girl grow up).

 

[Amaranthine]

"Yoo I'll meet you there in ten ok?" Jackson's foolish lopsided grin grew on his face again as she told him that she was only a quick walk's distance away. He started walking before he even got a reply from her, figuring worst case she said to meet him somewhere else. It made sense, though - he knew the place. He really knew the place - he knew the way they had sat beside it for hours in the late nights after Sam had gotten pregnant, talking wondering where the world had gone wrong. He knew what it was like to have her hand wrapped firmly around his cock under the stairwell as they both hoped that no one would sneak by. He knew what it was like to steal her in to the locker rooms after he had finished football practice and she had finished her band practice on Tuesdays, what it was like to have his way with her in the shower after everyone had left and it was just them with no one to bother them. Okay, a lot of his thoughts were less than innocent. He couldn't help that they had a lot of good memories and a lot of them involved her clothes on the ground and his cock pushed deep inside of her, riding her until he couldn't help but finish so hard his cum leaked out of her as he continued to pulsate, coating her inside and outside alike.

Not all of their good times were dirty, though. He remembered the way he would hold on to her on his couch as they watched tv, the way she smiled every time they had a sushi date and he'd chopstick pieces in to her mouth. He remembered the way he had held her, stroked her tummy and whispered to the baby they had accidentally made (though was it really accidentally if they never used condoms?). Losing that baby... Well, it had been hell for both of them and, ultimately, it was what had ruined them. He hadn't been the greatest but when he found out he was going to be a father that first time Jackson became determined to be the best that he could be - the miscarriage broke him in ways he couldn't even describe. Even though they were young, she had barely been fifteen... Well, they had spent six weeks deciding that they wanted to go through with it. They should have had a life together.

It was his own fault he cheated after that, he would never blame anyone else. He'd ruined it himself, and he still wished that he could change that.

 

[Styxx]

Everest in ten - okay then. Jackson sure had been quick to decide that and it left little time for Emma to make herself presentable. She was out of her apartment in just a couple minutes, still in the jean shorts she had been wearing all day and a black tank top under a blue plaid button down. She slipped some short heeled black boots on, locked her door behind her and made her way down and out of her building. It was a five minute walk so she showed up on the early side, holding a text conversation with Jack the entire way there. Once she'd reached the high school she sat down on the fence railing by the front, supporting herself with one hand and texting Jackson with the other while she waited for him to appear. It wouldn't be long, just a couple minutes - thanks to having to get ready, she was able to cut herself pretty close to ten minutes before she arrived (which was a good thing... she hated being late and she hated people being late).

Not long after she sat down, a familiar silhouette appeared up the road, and she sent him a quick text saying "see ya" before hopping off the pole and walking over to him. They met on the sidewalk and she greeted him with a hug and a content smile.

"Hey!" She's genuinely pleased to be seeing him again.

 

[Amaranthine]

Jackson sips at his drink as he walks, holding the cup in one hand and texting with the other. It wasn't long before he reached the school and was greeted with open arms by the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He hugged her back, holding her tight for a moment before he finally released her. Seeing Emma was amazing, and he could feel all of the tension in his body already beginning to dissipate just by being around her.

"When did you get back in to town?" He asked as they walked over to the back of the school, as he wanted to sit down on the hill that lined the school's sports field.

 

[Styxx]

Emma took a spot beside Jackson, leaning back with her hands on the grass below her as she stared up at the illuminated sky. The moon was full and clouds were sparse, lighting the world around them in a way that immersed her. Maybe one day she could get out of here, be far away almost as if she'd found another star. (That was a pipe dream, of course.)

"Just a few weeks ago, got done school mid-April," she said to him as she tilted her head to the left. It was early May now and summer was coming, but this wasn't just a summer - it was the start of the rest of her school free life. That terrified her, frankly. At least with school she had a crutch, something to hold on to and make herself do. Now? The passion she had once felt early on in tech school was gone.

 

[Amaranthine]

So she was done now, right? For good? Jackson would be lying if he tried to say that he knew for sure, but he kept his eyes on her as he sipped at the drink in his hand. With a cocked eyebrow he offered her the large cup, and spoke. "Whiskey, your favourite. Think of it as a celebration drink. I'm proud of you, Em."

 

[Styxx]

Emma let out a little laugh as he handed the drink over to her, taking it and bringing the straw to her lips after a quick shake of the cup. Whiskey hit her lips and she swallowed the swig, leaving a smooth taste on her tongue.

"Thank you," she said before taking another sip and then handing the bottle back to him. She didn't quite see being back here as a celebration, but fuck it. She desperately needed a drink and if this was what got her it, she was okay with that. Hell, she would down the whole bottle if she was given the option to. "So you - how've things been? How's Maya?" She jumps to asking about his familt because if she didn't, if she tried to forget they existed, then she would find herself hopeful for something that she couldn't have once again.

 

[Amaranthine]

Maya - of course Emma would ask about her daughter. Maya, beautiful little light of his life Maya who was the only reason he was still even alive at this point, let alone still with that damned mother of hers. Maya was great, Maya was amazing. She was two years old and starting daycare soon and while she was a little behind with her words he wasn't worried at all that she wouldn't be okay - the worst thing that would ever happen to her was him. That was a major fear of Jackson's.

He sipped from the cup before answering with a shrug. "Same as usual, really. She misses you, keeps asking when Em's gonna come back around."

 

[Styxx]

Hearing Jackson tell her that Maya was always asking about her broke Emma's heart - as much as she wished she could see the sugar sweet toddler more often, it was dangerous to her health for her to get too intermingled with that family. Maya had those deep brown eyes that Emma had always pictured would stand out on her own child's face and every time she saw them memories always flooded back. It was bittersweet at best.

"Well I guess I'll have to come around some time." She hurts every time she sees that toddler but she does it anyways because supporting Jackson is more important than her own selfish needs. As she looks down to her feet again she holds her hand out, a request for Jackson to hand the drink back to her.

 

[Amaranthine]

"I definitely think you should." Jackson slurred over the word 'definitely' and he definitely accidentally repeated the fi syllable one too many times. He noticed, too, but instead of doing anything about it he just gave his shoulders an exagerated shrug. Who really cared, anyways? He was drunk and she was going to be drunk and booze was the only thing that made existing feel like fun right now. If he could he would have added a bong to the mix but Sam would throw a fit if he had weed back at home and he didn't think that Emma even touched the stuff or he would have asked if she had any back at her place. She'd said that was only a few minutes away, yeah?

He didn't know. He probably shouldn't have even been outside with how much whiskey tainted his body in that moment but that didn't stop him. He leaned back and brought his free arm up to rest his head on as he handed the cup back over to Emma. "Or I'll bring her to you, if Sam lets me."