poety

[shadowmage9]

the vail of my heart
during the day my minde unvails its deep dark iner thoughts i see a set of eyes lumeing over a a yung girl in a red silky dress the eyes look closer and i notice that her strap was off one arm my minde wished and wanderd and now in side me ilook for here.

i pass a door and here a key drop hevily and i turn to look back and i see the key to the locked door should i be on my way or shall i go, going with impolse and intreeg i see my self runing for the key oppening the door then hereing it shut all to soon behinde me.

now i finde my self in a dark place a cold yet some times warmi think for a moment and am puzzled, but what did i do why did i oppen the door and step through to a place where i would never be able to think of her agen she dosnt even exisit i take from this nothing for no one cares i must take to air and dissapear in well for that i do not no

I should have been there for her!
i should have been on that buss instead of being in town,i was my in loss angels one of the city's of angles getting drunk at an under aged funk.i begged my mom to let me stay ens-ted of seen the dentist she caved like a pile of small rocks.

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE!, for here i was her protector she could call at any hour instead i was a sleep on the buss just now heading home nor hearing my phone when she had a chance to call.

thanke the wold that she's alive
and end me for i can not proteckt any one.

 

[Trygon]

You're goddamn awful, never try to write 'poety' again.

 

[☢☢Zombies Galore☢☢]

the veil of my heart
during the day my mind unveils its deep dark inner thoughts I see a set of eyes looming over a young girl in a red silky dress the eyes look closer and I notice that her strap was off one arm my mind wished and wandered and now in side me I look for her.

I pass a door and hear a key drop heavily and I turn to look back and I see the key to the locked door should I be on my way or shall I go, going with impulse and intrigue I see my self running for the key opening the door then hearing it shut all to soon behind me.

Now I find myself in a dark place, a cold yet sometimes warm think for a moment and am puzzled, but what did I do why did I open the door and step through to a place where I would never be able to think of her again she doesn't even exist I take from this nothing for no one cares I must take to air and disappear in well for that I do not know

I should have been there for her!
I should have been on that bus instead of being in town, I was my in loss angels one of the city's of angles getting drunk at an under aged funk. I begged my mom to let me stay instead of seeing the dentist she caved like a pile of small rocks.

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE! For here I was her protector she could call at any hour instead I was asleep on the bus just now heading home nor hearing my phone when she had a chance to call.

Thank the wold that she's alive
and end me for I cannot protect anyone.

Fixed.

The difference between poetry and prose is that poetry is the best words in their best order whereas prose is words in their best order. This was neither of those.

EDIT: There's links to poetry in my signature. They are good examples of poetry. Read them.