Relationship advice? :c

[-Embla]

Cut an absence from here hopefully. I lost my home, and a bunch of other terrible end of 2016 things (really, fuck you 2016), and I'm slowly working my way back up in 2017, though it hasn't been too great. So I do apologise (again).

Anyhow! I've had some tricky situations in the past and I've come to my fellow Bluemooner's for advice and have had more help that I could ever ask for. This one is definitely different, but hopefully someone can help me rack my brain here.

I've been with my partner now for 8 months, we'd been dating for a couple months beforehand. Never met someone I've been so compatible with, and vise versa. It was quick for both of us to step into the 'love' territory, and it's been great, we're just like best friends with all the relationship benefits. At least that's what I thought.
I lost my home a while ago, and my job, it was all a bit of an awful time for me. He wanted to save money for holidays and just enjoying youth (He's 24, I'm 22), so he moved back in with his parents (who are amazing, and thankfully absolutely adore me). I started staying over at his fairly frequently as he was always asking me to stay over quite a lot before I lost my home, always wanted me around and his parents were always telling me to stay more. Of course, when I lost my home I moved in here by his and his parents request, even now we see eachother everyday, he texts me all day when he's in work or even if he's just out with his friends, never can tire of talking to one another. We do space out sometimes, I'll stay in my friends or he'll go out with his friends for nights etc. Even then we give eachother space in the house, playing games or doing our own things and so on, we respect that and even then can happily sit in silence with one another while we do our own thing and give eachother a little look or nudge now and again.

So that's the gist of our relationship. Pretty good, pretty great. Our sex life WAS great, like any 'new' relationship. Couldn't keep our hands off eachother, and it didn't stop when we were away from one another with the dirty texts and eager messages when one of us were working. I'm still the same, I love him, his face and his body. I'm pretty much an extremely horny person anyway and could give it up anytime, I love sex and all the little affections before and after.
Now we haven't had sex in two weeks. He seems a little disinterested in me generally to be honest. Less talk, less affection all round and he gets cranky with me very easily. I can understand not being in the mood, but he still gets turned on/hard and whatever, and wants me to go down on him, which I also love doing so I'll happily do it as frequently as he likes, I just get nothing in return, at all. I'm so frustrated it's making me depressed, not that I don't already suffer with my depression. He still kisses and hugs me sometimes, mostly I have to approach him for that. He'll smack my ass and grab my boobs, playful of course. Cuddles me in bed and holds my boobs even then, strokes my body and generally seems interested then. But he won't touch me any other way, I seem to be the one doing all the giving. I feel like he's lost interest in me and I'm too scared to say anything incase he feels like I'm pressuring him and I wouldn't want to do that, but our relationship is still pretty new for the sex to just completely die down like that. I hate not feeling wanted. I don't really know how to approach it, or should I just leave it? Even before these two weeks the sex slowly started dying down, it'd be once a week maybe, and before that we had sex everyday, or we did at least something.

I don't know if I'm making a problem out of nothing, maybe I'm just being a little dramatic, but it really gets me down and I need the same relief that I provide him with. I become sleepless, restless and just down about myself and it really hurts. We've never had a big fight and if ever we argue it's about silly things we then 5 minutes later start laughing about and hug it out, or tease eachother. Have I overstepped into his personal space, maybe he's getting sick of me? I don't know.
Help :c

TL;DR - 8 month relationship, no sex in two weeks but I'm still providing for him (naa'm sayin'), we live together and generally have a good relationship. Seriously getting me down. What do? Am I just dramatic?

 

[Mitsu]

Talk to him about it. The best thing for you to do is have an adult, mature discussion. Don't place blame, or seek sympathy, but instead make it clear that you're just trying to understand. If he flips out and doesn't want to be with you, then the relationship was never going to work long-term. It's very possible that it's just a slump, so calm discussion could clear up any concerns.

If had to throw my two cents in, he probably finds sex tiring. He might see it as a chore, and something he rather just get over with quickly. He thinks that if he engages you, he'll have to make a whole ordeal out of it, instead of getting off as quickly as he wants.

You should also consider that many men, after the initial rush, will be less interested in sex than they were at the start. It's nothing against you, but the same rush and excitement isn't there. To be cruel, it's like eating the same decadent meal all of the time. So he'll instead opt for a quicker option.

He might also find that head feels better than vaginal. It is a thing that some men have less sensitive penises than others, so vaginal won't really do the trick like a sucking mouth and licking tongue. It can be kind of embarrassing for a man to say, "I can't really feel shit real good with my cock, but I still cum like normal." It's somehow emasculating.

REMEMBER: Communication is the key to a successful relationship.

 

[-Embla]

It's hard to do that because he gets defensive about things quite easily and then I'd feel like I was pressuring him which would essentially put him off even more. He doesn't like talking about his feelings too much but he tells me if something is wrong or bothering him.

His favourite thing to do is go down on me, he gets off on getting me off and I've never known or seen someone to be so turned on by just that alone. Sex is great as well and he has no problem getting off with sex over head, so that just confuses me. Even last month he'd come home from a 12 hour shift, knackered, and just dive ontop of me and we had amazing sex. I just don't know what happened.

I'll definitely try and voice how I'm feeling, it's just worrying. Thank you!

 

[Sugo]

Good advise from Mitsu here, it's let he said, communication is key. If you saying nothing and sit on it the relationship will just get sour. Talk to him, find out why he's like that st the moment, he's going to tell you because he loves you, and maybe it's something he's not even noticed. But if you raise it with him, he's probably more than willing to change his ways for a good relationship with someone he's so compatible with, I know I would be!

You don't want to leave him clutching at straws two weeks down the line if you don't communicate and it causes issues, how's he to know what he's done wrong if you never tell him?