Playing With Toys--the twisted children's story

[Rudolph Quin]

A series of short stories I wrote with a friend and she did a few illustrations for. Just something silly because we were bored. Thought I'd share.

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Playing With Toys 1

The Teddy Bear told the Doll With The Porcelain Face that he thought her blue dress with white flowers was pretty and matched her turquoise glass eyes. She said "Thank you. Your stitches are so fine and your fur is well-groomed." They continued to compliment each other until it was clear there was nothing left to say. They were friends and that was good enough.

The End

Playing With Toys 2

The Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face both got cell phones and they talked together a lot about clothes and boys and junk.

The End

Playing With Toys 3

The Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face came to a bridge and wanted to cross it. But there was a mean Troll underneath and he was upset by people who walked on his bridge. So, out of courtesy of his feelings, the Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face took the ferry across the river instead, and a good time was had by all.

The End


Playing With Toys 4

After the ferry, the Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face went to a cafe and they got lattes. They were having a lovely time until the Troll, who was a gruff and uncouth sort, joined them. All he wanted to talk about was Adam Sandler movies and the secondary uses of sex toys as home decor and he got on the toys' nerves. They were able to give him the slip by excusing themselves away for an appointment to get Teddy Bear tested for HIV at a clinic. When alone, they plotted the Troll's death together and laughed merrily at the numerous possibilities.

The End


Playing With Toys 5

There was much plotting between the two friends and they finally decided upon poisoned chocolate as an end befitting a troll. What they didn't realize was that chocolate kills trolls anyways, but whatever. Apparently, the Troll didn't know this either and he, while garbling around the chocolate he stuffed in his face, made plans with them to go see You Don't Mess With the Zohan and to buy some new anal beads he could string around his apartment(like garland or something). But all such plans for more fun with his new "friends" was lost when he fell to the gravel dead and stinky.

At first, Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face rejoiced at having gotten rid of such an annoyance. But then they felt bad and decided to bring him back using mystical arts and voodoo rituals. What they got was no longer the Troll but just his re-animated body, but they both felt it was a plus because 1. their guilt was gone and 2. although practically a zombie, he didn't try to eat anybody.

The End

Playing With Toys 6

The Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face with the Re-Animated Troll went to get ice creams together. The Re-Animated Troll licked his so hard that the ice cream scoop fell off his cone. He knelt and began to lick it up from the sidewalk because he was dead inside and didn't know any better. Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face laughed and laughed.

The End


Playing With Toys 7

After ice creams, the Teddy Bear, the Doll With The Porcelain Face and the Re-Animated Troll went to the park to play baseball. Neither of the toys was very good at hitting the ball or catching it so the game soon became fetch for the Re-Animated Troll who would run after the ball when it was thrown a distance. But even that soon bored he toys and they began to beat the Re-Animated Troll with baseball bats until he was bloody and they were breathing hard. Then, feeling flush with anger and loathing for their obligation to the dead Troll they tied a chain around his feet and connecting a large stone, they threw the Re-Animated Troll into the river where he sunk to the bottom. They did not feel sorry this time.

The End

Playing With Toys 8

The Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face went home for a sit on the shelf. During their time out and getting all sweaty and stuff(killing Trolls, bringing them back to life and then killing them again is hard business) had made them both kind of dirty. Teddy Bear's fur had ice cream in it and clumps of dirt and he reeked of teddy bear B.O. and the Doll With The Porcelain Face's dress was wrinkled and dirty too. The Big Lady put the Teddy Bear in the washing machine along with the Doll's dress to clean them.

After an hour he came out of the laundry room and was set on the shelf next to the re-dressed Doll with The Porcelain Face. It was tea time and the Tall Girl was serving cupcakes with the tea. But the Teddy Bear didn't have anything. He felt sick from being tossed around in the washer and dryer.

The End

 

[Rudolph Quin]

Playing With Toys 9

It grew dark outside and the Tall Girl got ready for bed. She pulled the Teddy Bear down from his shelf as he and the Doll With The Porcelain Face whispered goodnight to each other. Then she layed down in her gigantic bed with Teddy Bear snuggled under one arm. When the light went out all was still and soon the Tall Girl made the soft noises of slumber.

But the Teddy Bear did not sleep. He never did. Wide awake, he listened and watched as the shadows in the room started to breath and take shape. They drifted close to the bed but they did not touch the Tall Girl. Not when Teddy Bear was there. Sometimes she would forget to bring him down from the shelf before turning out the light and when the dark things touched her she tossed and turned in nightmares.

But not tonight. Teddy Bear had the power to kick all of their asses if they laid a hand on her, so although close to the bed they did not touch her. And Teddy Bear lay there making threatening gestures at them and whispering menacing promises of pain if they dared try anything.

The End


Playing With Toys 10

The Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face went shopping with the Clucking Hen. At a clothing store they all tried on different things and showed off in front of the mirrors. The Doll With The Porcelain Face tried on a new green dress that everyone gave weak smiles at. The Teddy Bear tried on some new pink pumps because they made his legs feel pretty. And the Clucking Hen tried on some bright blue spandex shorts that both Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face agreed she should NOT be wearing.

The End

Playing With Toys 11

There was much affinity between the Clucking Hen and the two toys and they played together and hung out often. But Clucking Hen was getting fat and the Great Father came and chopped off Clucking Hen's head and served her body for dinner(it was yummy, BTW. So tender). Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face managed to salvage her head and put it in a jar of formaldehyde. She could no longer eat or try on outfits with them anymore but she was still their friend and they toted her around in a little wagon with them everywhere they went.

The End

Playing With Toys 12

Teddy Bear, the Doll With The Porcelain Face and Clucking Hen's Head went to the zoo together. It was much fun seeing the animals and they each had their favorites. Teddy Bear liked the tigers for their cool stripes and ferocious nature. The Doll With The Porcelain Face liked the giraffes for their quirky spots and elegant bodies. Clucking Hen's Head liked the birds in the bird house for obvious reasons. Nobody liked the monkeys who smelled bad, screeched loudly and picked their own buttholes for entertainment. That's just nasty, they all agreed.

The End

Playing With Toys 13

While in the park, Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face climbed a tree while Clucking Hen's Head waited in her little jar and wagon below. It was a race to the top, to see the view from the highest branch. Teddy Bear gained a steady lead but slipped and fell. He hit many branches on his way down and flopped onto the grassy ground. When the Doll With The Porcelain Face climbed out of the tree she hurried to Teddy Bear's side, worry creasing her smooth, painted face.

Teddy Bear sat up...but his arm stayed on the ground. Snowy white stuffing sprouted from his shoulder.

The End

 

[Rudolph Quin]

Playing With Toys 14

The Big Lady sat down with Teddy Bear, his arm and stitch in hand as the Tall Girl and the Doll With The Porcelain Face watched on worriedly. There was many tears from Teddy Bear but it was soon over and his arm was back on, good as new. Wiping the tears off his face he threatened the Doll With The Porcelain Face to never tell anyone how he'd cried so much(he was a macho sort of bear at times). Jokingly she said, "I recorded it all on my cell phone and sent it to all our friends." And then she comforted Teddy Bear lovingly.

The End

Playing With Toys 15

That night, lying in the Tall Girl's arms, Teddy Bear watched as the shadows gained forms and drew near to the bed. They knew of Teddy Bear's hurt arm and suspected he might not be up to form to protect the Tall Girl tonight. But they were sorely mistaken and learned so when one of them came close and laid a clawed hand on the Tall Girl's leg under her blankets.

Immediately, Teddy Bear jumped up with a snarl and with his arm mended good as new, he punched the shadow's lights out! He pummeled three of the creatures silly, doling out two nosebleeds, 3 broken limbs, a skull fracture and hundreds of bruises between them. Standing on the edge of the mattress he gave them all the finger and smiling triumphantly, watched them all slink back into the corners, before he snuggled up next to the Tall Girl again.

The End

Playing With Toys 16

On a Saturday, the Tall Girl was home during the day and took the toys to a tea party at a friend's house who lived down the street. The two Tall Girls sat around the small table in the back yard with Teddy Bear, the Doll With The Porcelain Face, the Expensive Collector's Doll, and a Stuffed Toy Dog With A Bow sitting with them. They happily sipped from their little tea cups until the two Tall Girls got in an argument. The Tall Girl's friend pulled her hair and Tall Girl left with her two toys, crying and sad.

Later, while the Tall Girl watched movies with the other Big People, Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face snuck out and set fire to the mean Tall Girl's house. It seemed a fitting punishment for pulling the hair of the one they loved and for the tears she shed. Little did they know or realize the fickle nature of childhood friendships...

The End

Playing With Toys 17

On Sunday evenings, the Tall Girl always read to the toys in front of the fireplace, while the Great Father smoked his pipe and listened to music and the Big Lady knitted in her rockng chair.

The End

Playing With Toys 18

Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face went to the shooting gallery and practiced up on using automatic rifles. By the time they left, Teddy Bear had perfected his aim.

The End

Playing With Toys 19

Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face went to an old abandoned apartment building. There, they waited, over looking the street with their rifles on stands and scopes on the tops. As a limosine drove by, Teddy Bear peered into the scope and pulled the trigger. The assassination was a success. The Rich Girl's now headless Collector's Edition Barbie Doll would not talk of the illegal candy ring. Because toys whose heads have been shot to pieces by a bullet have trouble speaking.

The End

 

[Rudolph Quin]

Playing With Toys 20

Teddy Bear, the Doll With The Porcelain Face and Clucking Hen's Head went frollicking in the meadow. Clucking Hen's Head couldn't frollick with them but she did the best she could from her jar as the toys pulled her wagon along with them as they played. Butterflies danced around them and there were beautiful wildflowers everywhere.

Teddy Bear spied a beehive in a nearby tree and licking his lips hungrily, he climbed up to it. When he stuck his fuzzy paw into it and got some honey some bees became angry and stung him. Angered by this, he pulled out his 9 mm and shot the hive which exploded into pieces. But most of the bees were too small to be harmed by the bullets and they were angry that their home had been destroyed so they swarmed over Teddy Bear. Both toys ran away, pulling the wagon with them but when they got home they were all covered in stings. Naughty Teddy.

The End

Playing With Toys 21

The Tall Girl took Teddy Bear to Show-and-Tell at her school. Everything all the other kids had sucked ass. Teddy Bear rocked because he was cool and awesome-sauce. And anyone who dared say otherwise was set straight by Teddy Bear on the playground.

The End

Playing With Toys 22

The Tall Girl tried on some of the Big Lady's makeup with the Doll With The Porcelain Face. The doll thought she looked very pretty and grown-up and she told her so. After they were finished, the Doll With The Porcelain Face knew there was no hiding what they had done, with the mess they'd made of the Big Lady's stuff. So, she suggested they put some makeup on the dog as well and when Big Lady questioned them they blamed the mess on Long-Haired Collie who looked like a painted up whore. But Big Lady saw through the lie and Tall Girl was punished.

The End

Playing With Toys 23

One afternoon the Tall Girl went out with the Big Lady and the Great Father and the toys were left home alone. The first hour the family was gone, they spent watching porn on Pay-Per-View(which they called in using the Great Father's credit card number) enjoying gang-bangers and shemales. Then, the second hour they spent raiding the Great Father's liquor cabinet in the den, getting sufficiently smashed. Then they spent the next few hours passed out together.

They roused to the sound of the family coming home and the Tall Girl came to her bedroom excited and happy. Apparently, while out, Big Lady and the Great Father had gotten her a new stuffed animal, a bunny rabbit she'd lovingly named Long Ears.

The End



Playing With Toys 24

For the first couple of days after bringing home the new stuffed animal, Tall Girl played with nothing else. At first, it was fine; Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face still played together during the day. But soon it started to get on their nerves being excluded. Tall Girl never seemed to take them down from the shelf anymore and at night when she slept with Long Ears, the damn bunny didn't keep the monsters away! The jerk just let them roam around the room and touch the Tall Girl and give her nightmares. And he just lay there in her arms, while she tossed and turned, not doing jack shit.

This made both of the toys very angry, but it especially pissed Teddy Bear off.

The End



Playing With Toys 25

After a week, the Tall Girl started acting strangely. When she got up for school, she was sluggish and grumpy, bags under her eyes and a slump to her posture. One morning, when the Big Lady came and felt Tall Girl's forehead, she recoiled from her touch and yelled at the woman because she didn't want to be touched. This shocked the toys, for the Tall Girl was never disrespectful to the Big People before. Big Lady seemed concerned but she punished Tall Girl anyway. And things only got worse.

The toys heard Big Lady talking to the school on the phone: Tall Girl was getting into fights! Her grades were dropping drastically and she was sleeping in class. And when she came home, they heard arguing between the Big People and Tall Girl and Tall Girl was yelling louder than the other two! So much anger rested in her heart. And each night, she went to sleep with Long Ears who did nothing when the shadows came.

Teddy Bear decided it was time to have a little "chat" with Long Ears.

The End

 

[Rudolph Quin]

Playing With Toys 26

Talking with Long Ears wasn't difficult at first and Teddy Bear even started to think he might like the fellow eventually. But when he mentioned the shadows and the nightmares, Long Ears brushed him off and arrogantly stated that it was "under control." He could handle protecting the Tall Girl all on his own; he didn't need any help from stuffed scum, like Teddy Bear.

Teddy Bear was furious and almost jumped up and knifed the guy, if it hadn't been for the Doll With The Porcelain Face who came between the two. Somehow, Teddy Bear would make this mook pay! Somehow!

The End



Playing With Toys 27

Several more nights went by and the toys on the shelf busily planned what they were going to do. The problem reached an apex though when on the third night since talking with Long Ears, the Tall Girl woke from her nightmares and sat up in bed crying fitfully. She didn't notice the monsters at all and seemed to still be somewhat half asleep. She cried frustratedly and sorrowfully, as if she just couldn't take it anymore; she just wanted a good nights sleep. She sought comfort from Long Ears and eventually lay back down to sleep.

Several more times in the night she woke with more tears, always not quite awake, but getting more plaintive in her cries. When morning came, she was devoid of emotion and practically a zombie. There was no fighting with the Big Lady this day. It was this change of events that decided the toys. They had to do something NOW, or else they might lose the Tall Girl to the cloud of darkness forever.

The End

Playing With Toys 28

Teddy Bear was not a religious bear but he knew he got his strength to fight the monsters and keep the nightmares away from somewhere/someone. A lot of times he thought that it was the strength of the Tall Girl's love for him and her belief in him that gave him power, but he also sometimes got the feeling that someone was watching over her and had chosen him as her Guardian.

That night when the Tall Girl blank faced and unfeeling crawled into bed, she didn't even hold Long Ears as she snuggled under the covers. She was too exhausted and Long Ears fell onto the floor when she rolled over.

Teddy Bear watched as the shadows started to form together and start their nightly torture. There were more of them now and bigger ones too, with claws and tentacles and red eyes and spiky bodies. All had come to feed on the bad feelings they inspired in the Tall Girl. For a moment Teddy Bear felt hopeless; there were too many of them. Surely he could not defeat them all with any of the weapons in his arsenal. Not his bazooka or his uzi, or his grenades or his chainsaw or even his twin samurai swords.

The End

Playing With Toys 29

Kneeling down on his shelf, Teddy Bear prayed. He prayed to whatever higher power had given him the gift of strength to battle the small monsters and keep the nightmares away; he prayed to whoever had made him the Tall Girl's Guardian.

The Doll With The Porcelain Face watched worriedly, with little tears in her eyes as the first monsters laid their hands on the Tall Girl. Then her attention was drawn to Teddy Bear. A small light had started in his breast, his fuzzy tummy glowing white. And the light grew and grew spreading to his teddy bear arms and legs and filling his teddy bear head and ears. When he opened his eyes they were filled with glorious light and determination. His fur had turned white and light shined in a large circle all around him.

With purpose and newfound strength, Teddy Bear stood on the shelf.

The End

Playing With Toys 30

When Teddy Bear jumped down from his shelf, he walked with a wolf-like grace towards the enemy. Many of the smaller, tinier monsters he'd fought before fled just from the ring of light around him, unable to stand the brightness. He stopped right in front of the largest monster of all, the beast-like creature squinting angrily at him while resting a clawed hand on the Tall Girl.

"Take your filthy hand off of her," Teddy Bear said. His voice was quiet but seemed to fill the whole room, and there was a slight echo of menace. "If you do not, then I will BREAK the frigging thing off and shove it up your scum-hole." There was deadly promise in his eyes as he said the last words.

The beast laughed and shifted his hand without removing it. The Tall Girl screamed in her slumber and tossed and turned her head, obviously running from something horrible in the dream. Teddy Bear frowned and quivering with rage, shook his head ruefully. Then, before they could blink, Teddy Bear attacked.

The End

Playing With Toys 31

POW! SLAM! CRUNCH! CRACK! Teddy Bear barrelled into the shadow creatures with his bare teddy bear paws, riping them to shreds and spilling their inky blood that faded into shadow wherever it landed. Shadow flesh flew left and right as it was rended and torn from limb and body. The beasts hissed and howled in terror and pain as the bright white light hit them and they were brutally, mercilessly slaughered before his hands.

And the last, the biggest one of all, no longer smirking arrogantly, huddled on the other side of the Tall Girl's bed, snarling fearfully. Teddy Bear spit off to the side and flexed his muscles and charged at the being. All of the others he'd torn to shreds effortlessly, like tissue paper. But the boss, he laid into him with everything he had, all his strength and power used to the fullest. But it was not enough. He beat it to a swollen bloody pulp, but he could not kill it. So he sent it home with as many broken bones and as demoralized as he could(and he kept his promise, breaking off one of the shadow's clawed arms and shoving it up his rear). Defeated, the shadow faded away back to it's realm of darkness never to show it's face in that room EVER again.

The End

Playing With Toys 32

Standing over the fitfully sleeping Tall Girl, the bright white Teddy Bear leaned down and kissed her forehead. The light that filled him spread from his lips into the girl leaving his body and filling her. When the bright light completely faded, the Tall Girl uttered a small sigh and her breathing eased.

From his vantage point on the floor, Tall Ears had watched everything and stared in awe at Teddy Bear as he stood up straight and climbed down from the bed.

The End

Playing With Toys 33

On the ground Teddy Bear faced Long Ears. "That was amazing!" he said excitedly. "I thought I could handle it on my own....but I was wrong. I'm sorry. I didn't have a clue what I was doing." Silently, Teddy Bear bitch slapped him so hard that he fell down and said to Long Ears as he sat on the floor stunned, "Now, you are my bitch!" And it was so.

The End

Official End.