I will f***in' entertain y'all sumb**ches.

[Jazz]

So it's just like the title says, right? I'm the motha-f***in' godd*mn writer and I intend to deliver SH** THAT WILL BLOW YO' MIND.

SHAKA-POW!

Y'hear dat? That's the sound of yo' mind gettin' blown RIGHT THE F*** AWAY. Impressed yet? Nah, probably not, but you f***in' WILL be, I f***in' GUARANTEE IT.

So, like, f***, man... where to BEGIN...

So, like, I'm Jazz, right? Holla. That means I'm a f***in' GENIUS. "Brilliance" is my f***in' middle-name, y'feelin' me? Einstein ain't got SH** on this man right here.

Oh, wait, pardon my f***in' grammar. I meant "Einstein don't got sh**". A'ight? We cool? Yeah, we cool. We ICE, baby. ICE.

So what the f*** was I talkin' about? Oh yeah. F***in' story, right.

Alla y'all motha-f***ers jus' gather 'round the f***in' fireplace, and I'll f***in' tell y'all a f***in' story, a'ight? In fact, I'm gonna tell y'all the greatest f***in' story ever done told. That's right. I'm gonna tell you how the MOTHA-F***IN' UNIVERSE WAS BORN.

So it all started with da BIG BANG. And by "big bang" I mean dis big-ass d**k o' mine here was bangin' one hell of a fine-ass b*tch, 'coz that's what I do, bang chicks.

My name is Jazz, and I f*** b*tches. Y'all betta' reckanize. (Ladies, call me.)

What the f*** was I doin'? Oh yeah, dat b*tch.

So, like, I was bangin' the eva-lovin' SH*T outta that fine-ass ho' (and YOU KNOW she was beggin' me "Aw, Jazz! Yeah, Jazz! F*** Jazz!", and sh** 'coz I rock like dat.), and y'know that b*tch right there, she had herself a motha-f***in' orgasm so godd*mn HUGE it f***in' sprayed all ova the godd*mn place. And I woulda been all, "F***, b*tch! You sprayed all ova my sh**!", but it was kinky as HELL, so I let it go 'coz I'm f***in' cool li' dat. Y'know I just gonna tap dat fine ass again, sh**...

So, A-NY-WAY... alla dat hot, sticky mess done coagulated into the godd*mn motha-f***in' universe. And you KNOW I f***in' milked that ho, and them fine-ass titties done sprayed us up the f***in' galaxies 'n sh**. It was kinky as hell, man. But, like, at the same time, y'know... y'just kinda starin' at the MAJESTY of it all, 'cause outer-space is f***in' tight, man. It's all dark 'n sh** with stars and sh**... But watch out fo' dem black holes, man. Dey ain't for pokin' yo' junk in, a'ight?

So dat's the motha-f***in' story of how the f***in' whole godd*mn universe 'n sh** was made, b*tches. I hope you sincerely f***in' enjoyed dat.

Peace.

 

[ZOMBiiE]

Why do you sensor your swearing?

 

[Jazz]

Why do you sensor your swearing?

It's funnier that way. That's why.

Psychologically, censoring a word indicates that it is still unacceptable in society, so when you hear a guy curse in a movie and they bleep it out, it's all the more hilarious because it's obvious he shouldn't be saying it.

If you leave the words uncensored, though, you give the impression that they are acceptable and commonplace, and therefore they have less impact.

 

[Tats lucy]

Nyaah, i'm not entirely sure what made me cheer louder - how amusing the initial post was, or how friggin' awesome that reply was Kudos anyway ^^