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Attractiveness: The Beauty Standard In Roleplaying

C

Chai

Guest
I was looking through past and present face claims that I've used for roleplays, and I realized just how similar they all are: the young, wide-eyed look, slim, pouty lips, long hair, and fair skin. I think this has just evolved into the 'norm' for attractiveness in roleplays, especially because anything that deviates from that is some sort of fetish. If you like playing as or against women other than white girls, people assume you like race play; if you don't want to play as or against perfectly slim woman, you have a thing for BBWs; if you don't like playing as or against young women, you're into MILFs; the list goes on.

I get that what we're writing is all fantasy, and that because it's fantasy, why not make all of your characters the epitome of attractiveness? Add to it that many people use erotic roleplaying as a sexual release, and I'm going to assume that people would rather get off to someone they find attractive than to someone they think is ugly (though that fetish exists out there, I know).

I know that when writing descriptions or choosing face claims, it's always easier to go with the standard of beauty in order to please a partner. I've had that weird moment when a partner says I can make my character look however I want, and then when I write a description/choose a face claim, they tell me to change her because they don't find her attractive. And so, for me at least, I've just subconsciously settled into looking for similar features over and over again.

But I also know that there is so much to beauty and attractiveness, both in real life and in roleplaying, but for some reason people don't voice it in request threads. And while I wrote this from the female perspective, I am well aware that men also have their vision of perfection in roleplays.

Here are some discussion points:

1) If you think there's a beauty standard in roleplaying, what do you think it is? For men and women? Where do you think it came from? Do you think it's a reflection of the beauty ideals we have in real life?

2) Why do you think other physical preferences are seen as fetishes? Do you think the fetish label is a deterrent for being vocal about those physical preferences (i.e., "I don't want to be seen as someone who's into that fetish")?

3) Beauty can be found everywhere; what are some physical traits that you find attractive, either in real life or in roleplaying, that deviate from the beauty standard? What are some uncommon things you find attractive that aren't normally talked about under attractiveness? (e.g., I find full, thick eyebrows on men very sexy. I also like playing a variety of races and ethnicity in roleplays, but a lot of people have responded with, "I don't like race play," as if it's a strange concept seeing other races and people of mixed heritage in 21st century United States :s).
 
i'mma answer this briefly and succintly, like poetry

1. I don't think there's an RP standard here that doesn't exist in real life. People are behind a computer and can be as picky as they want. Women might be a little more restrictive in what they want tbh, when I see male request threads they tend to be relatively open minded, women tend to want a handful of archetypes.

2. lmbo, you could just as easily ask this in real life. Norms are defined by the majority vOv

3. I have a thing for tall ladies... but I mostly like different looking. I've played against characters with eyepatches, crazy facial scarring, big old noses, tall, short, impossibly hot, uggos, - I just want a character that stands out from their surroundings and demands a reaction from people. That's exciting. RPing with a blonde CW girl is like ... what am I doing here? ZZzzz.
 
Well, beauty is subjective, it's very unlikely two people have the exact same desires in men / women (or both?). There is a general appearance that media and other public outlets tend to default to, similar to what you've presented, but I personally am not interested in those sort of things. In fact, of all the characters I've created for play, I think that those sort of features are typically what I avoid because I find them overdone, overplayed, and uninteresting. That doesn't mean you're not entitled to your opinion, as everyone has their own tastes, though! And I respect them. I just don't care for them. That said, my tastes vary wildly, and most of my "face claims" are actually based on the pictures themselves, rather than making a character, then finding a suitable face, I search for art for long periods of time, and when I become attached to them, I take the art, and build a character around it, often wildly spinning away from whatever the source is (such as Nimda vs the source of Blue Submarine 6; something I hadn't watched until recently, with one being a mutant mechanic, and the other a sub pilot). Occasionally, though, my ideas will often correlate fairly close to what the picture was depicting, more or less leaving me with a copy of a canon character.

Certain physical presences should be deemed as fetishes, others simply as "interests". For women, I believe things like breasts and butts are "interests", whereas things like feet, legs, armpits, etc, are fetishes. Things that aren't necessarily "in the norm", but are still prevalent enough that they're not so outlandish. Honestly, I wish there wasn't such a stigma on fetishes, especially when things like a foot fetish are typically portrayed less like a fetish and more like an obsession, to the point where they're considered "weird" for even having the fetish, when we all know there's not a single person who's strictly "penis goes into vagina" vanilla.

To your last point, I enjoy the idea of cybernetics. Not so much that they're amputees (I'm not at all turned on by the stump that is underneath the replacement), but that there's a sort of technological benefit to having them. I could care less how a person lost their limb (though I'm sure it's typically a point of conversation) but I perk up whenever I see someone with prosthetics. Note that I'm not really interested in the mannequin-doll style kind, nor the hook-hand type, but of the intricate, elaborate work that goes into the ones that we're getting closer to having. I felt my heart flutter when I saw this for the first time. Not just because she was a pretty girl, but because she was a pretty girl with a spinning, robotic hand.
 
I wouldn't think that someone has a fetish if s/he is opened to writing or playing with characters of another race, certainly not.

I do notice that not all guys have the same tastes in face claims, some like fair, some like brunette, some like slim, some like plump. None of this is a fetish either... If it gets extreme (extremely skinny or extremely obese, or ONLY green eyes) then yes. Definitely some like short hair, too.

I don't necessarily try to make my character the epitome of attractiveness, nor do I need my Partner to do so - but if the characters aren't attractive, then it's either non sexual (which I actually started with as a teen but yeah) or just annoying.

I do have a type of girl I like to play, but not all my girls are that way. As for men I find attractive, both IRL and on face claims, I don't have one precise type. You can be hot at 16 or 50. I don't like extremes in body type or age. I have some pics in my thread (down in my sig) for those who are curious LOL.

That said I'm often told that while I don't have ONE type I'm very picky about looks (irl).
 
November said:
RPing with a blonde CW girl is like ... what am I doing here? ZZzzz.
Click to expand...

This right here fucking killed me, lmao.
#DECEASED
 
I was expecting a thread like this from you after a few discussions that have been had in chat, and because of those discussions I've had a think about it myself so I'll give you my run down of how I view it, this is also coming from a man who's ideal woman is certainly not a Blonde, Blue eyed white girl which I assume is what we're perceiving as the norm?

1) If you think there's a beauty standard in roleplaying, what do you think it is?

There certainly is a beauty standard in roleplaying, I don't think there is a need to go over this as you've already said it yourself, roleplaying is, especially at the erotic level, a method to perform your fantasies, at least for most people. There are a bunch of people on BMR who like to write, and they do erotic roleplaying because they like the genre and they even sway to things and kinks they wouldn't even dream of doing in their real lives. However the people who roleplay for their on fantasies and enjoyment is a much higher percentage and even those who're here to write deep down like to play out their fantasies in a roleplay. My favourite roleplay that I've done so far on BMR has been a very much story based one, I didn't even think about the erotic scenes until my partner said 'How do you think erotic scenes would play into this.' However that doesn't mean I don't have a couple of fun fantasy based RP's that I love when it gets down to a smut scene.

1a) For men?

I'm going to answer this as the beauty standard of men looking at female characters, for which I think it is fairly simple and easy to explain. Google Blonde Models there is your page of made to order BMR approved face claims, easy as that right? The blonde hair blue eye look is one that is coveted even in real life, so many people find it attractive and I'm not surprised, I do too to a lesser extent, and when 95% of BMR are here to roleplay their fantasies, of course they're going to go for what they find attractive. Look at how many girls are dying their hair blonde, the blonde hair dark roots look as become so common that it's insane.

However I'm going to throw in what I'm going to name the "Sugo complication ball" in the fact that my personal preference on face claims for my partner vary vastly to what I would consider the 'norm' of BMR.

As not much of a surprise to anyone that knows me pick a Raven haired pale Korean girl and you have by far what I would consider the peak of beauty, that's just me and I'm not alone on a view like this. I feel that Asian women are however a completely varied standard of beauty, and because of that they probably unfortunately fall under like Aria said a 'Kink' on a western site like BMR. I personally feel that other races (Not white) are definitely attractive and possible options for Face Claims, however what Aria says is definitely true, most will probably just consider it a kink. Asian women in particular are something that I would happily play against, the same goes for black and mixed-race characters and I would have no issue with picking those as a face claim if my partner offered them and the setting was right.

I feel that the idea of a character being super slim isn't something that I subscribe to entirely. However it's completely understandable why people don't want to play against larger characters, especially when you start getting into the range of heavily overweight or obese characters. I'm sorry but there is no other way to put it, it's not attractive and it's not healthy. There is nothing attractive about being fat, this is coming from someone who is overweight by a fair margin (hopefully not for long.) When it comes down to things like 'BBW' that is a kink, at least in my eyes, and I'm afraid there is no other way to put it. Being Obese and overweight is not a nice thing, sorry to be blunt about it but I'm not exactly some hyper muscular guy saying "Ew you're fat what the fuck" I'm in the same boat, it's not attractive, I personally don't feel it's right to subscribe to the notion that 'All body sizes are beautiful' it's not, some are just downright unhealthy and saying they're beautiful is a bad thing that shouldn't be done. Should you bully someone for their weight? Hell no, but you shouldn't just call them as attractive as everyone else because they're not. I subscribe to a notion that any women I consider myself close to I'll try to call them gorgeous or beautiful at least once while I'm conversing with them, I don't know if it does but I feel and hope that saying something like that might make someones day. All women are beautiful, does that mean they're attractive? No, and then in a realm where 95% are here for their own fantastical reasons unsurprisingly you don't see a lot of fat characters.

Here is a body fat % index. I personally feel that a body type 35% or lower is completely fine and can be considered attractive, the term 'Thick' applies to stuff like that and I have no problem with it. I don't see that as a kink but anything above it into the realm of 'BBW' is a kink and I'm afraid I see no other way around it. However while I wouldn't really be against playing against a character with a 35% body fat % I am here to write out fantastical stories, and since I have full range of picking and choosing I'd likely pick a character who is skinny over thick - it is my preference.

1b) For women?

I'll stay away from this for the most part, as I'm not a woman and there is no way that I can put an input as indepth, however This I would say is what I'd consider the male face claim standard of beauty. Beautiful hair, little bit of stubble and a long face with a muscular build.

Another thing I'll chirp in on is black men. Black men are one of the biggest kinkified things on here, the idea of BBC is where it comes from. But that's just a side point.

1c) Where do you think it came from?

What people find attractive becomes the face claim majority, it's not too surprising. We are a western English site with mostly Europeans and American's, the blonde hair blue eyes status is considered one of the most beautiful and unsurprisingly that becomes what people want to play aganst.

1d) Do you think it's a reflection of the beauty ideals we have in real life?

Absolutely, *raises hand* guilty as charged. My three roleplays with Face Claims right now use; Emily Rudd Tiffany and Katie McGrath notice a trend? Pale skin dark hair, SLAY ME MORE PLEASE.

2a) Why do you think other physical preferences are seen as fetishes?

Anything that's not their norm they consider a fetish I guess. In my thread the only thing that hints towards the partners character is Petite (A fairly common and identified kink of size difference) and a list as a Story turn on Asian characters. I say; "Asian Characters
I like Asian Cultures and their people, Korea, Japan and China being the main three that I have an interest in, playing along side or playing Asian characters is interesting to me." This is just something that I felt I wanted to highlight in my thread, I don't go out of the way to describe my perfect woman as I find a wide variety of things attractive, much wider than most people I've noticed. I find the Blonde Hair blue eyes attractive, Ginger girls, thicker women, black haired girls, brunettes, Asian's, black women, mixed-race girls. I pretty much have no solid preference for character so i leave it mostly up to them. Whenever I talk to my partner about their character I will always say something along the lines of "As long as she's half a foot to a foot shorter than my character I'm probably fine with it" because for the most part it's true. Obviously if they then tried to offer me a 50% body fat woman with dwarfism I'm going to turn it down, as I would consider both of those things a kink. If she's not over 5 foot I don't really care xD

2b) Do you think the fetish label is a deterrent for being vocal about those physical preferences (i.e., "I don't want to be seen as someone who's into that fetish")?

I have nothing I think I can really add for this question to be honest.

3a) Beauty can be found everywhere; what are some physical traits that you find attractive, either in real life or in roleplaying, that deviate from the beauty standard?

You've asked me this one before, but I'll go over it again here. As stated somewhere above I find a lot of things about the opposite sex attractive. As long as they aren't obese or heavily overweight I will likely find something attractive in them. It is rare that I look at a woman and say "Jesus she's ugly."

If I had to point out what I find most attractive in a woman it's going to have to go with a nice pair of legs and beautiful hair. That's just what it boils down to me, but really in real life and roleplaying the thing I find most attractive about a woman is what I'll call a "Quix Woman" a woman who knows how much she has control over me, Jesus Christ woman you're gorgeous and I fucking love you, you have so much leverage over me you don't even know - use it. Timid women is one of the things I find least attractive in my real life and in roleplaying, playing against a timid woman has no interest to me at all in roleplaying.

3b) What are some uncommon things you find attractive that aren't normally talked about under attractiveness?

I don't really have anything abnormal to be honest, the only thing abnormal on my preferences of attractive is my over exaggeration on things people do already find attractive just I find way more attractive like a woman with a good pair of legs or nice hair, men will always find that attractive just I find it REALLY attractive.

Overall I think you answered your question in your opening statement, most people are here for fantastical roleplays, and unsurprisingly they want to play against what they would find attractive. The 'defining everything else as a kink' is a weird one, especially stuff like race and especially stuff like black men which is one I find really weird.
 
Sugo said:
...the thing I find most attractive about a woman is what I'll call a "Quix Woman"...
Click to expand...

I'm going to add some other noteworthy stuff in the near future, but for now, let me just... LOL, "Quix woman." What a very apt description. xD That Kiwi South African Aussie does have some rather good taste in women!

The ideal woman I'm talking about isn't necessarily blonde haired and blue-eyed. Just... it's hard to describe it. The "look". She's white, but it's more about the wide sultry eyes, pouty lips, upturned perky nose, the 36-24-36 measurements, etc. There's a very specific allure of these women.


And to clarify, when I say "uncommon" I don't really mean "weird," or that the people who like those things are abnormal or weird. Just toss out some love and appreciation for things you find beautiful, for things that are beautiful, but don't get a lot of mention because of the beauty standard.

I don't really have strong preferences for physical features, but I do hold the same fondness for bigger (read: fatter) men that I do for men who are muscular and whatever. The thing is, I don't see it as a fetish for me, though, because while I am attracted to those men, it's not something that I'm exclusively attracted to. There are specific reasons as to why I find that body type attractive, but it doesn't negate my interest in men of other body types. To that end, I think describing physical features as fetishes is a more than a little weird, no matter if it's based on body size, race, height, etc.
 
Ariamella said:
Sugo said:
...the thing I find most attractive about a woman is what I'll call a "Quix Woman"...
Click to expand...

I'm going to add some other noteworthy stuff in the near future, but for now, let me just... LOL, "Quix woman." What a very apt description. xD That Kiwi South African Aussie does have some rather good taste in women!
Click to expand...

Just as long as you don't call me an Englishman, we'll remain friends, Ari!

My taste in women? Do you mean the librarian in a pin-skirt and white, buttoned-up blouse, with long hair in a bun, wearing horn-rimmed glasses? Is that a fetish? xD

As most who know me are aware, I'm not a visual person, rarely use face-claims and 'who' she is, is vastly more important than 'what she looks like', which applies in real-life as much as it does to roleplay. If I do have a type, or epitome of attractiveness in roleplay, it's for the girl-next-door type, attractive, but not model good looking. Hair colour, length, eye-colour, and pretty much all physical features don't matter, unless they have a specific relevance to the story. As for my own characters, I'm happy to cater to my partners preferences if they have any, otherwise I tend to make them conventionally handsome by default.

In two roleplays that I'm writing now, one of the female characters is of Korean descent, and the second, I believe, of Latin descent, though I'm not even certain about that as, not being actual plot points, I haven't found the ethnicity of either relevant to clarify, discuss or elaborate on. One is physically damaged, and adorned in scars, due to trauma, which my character find adds to her beauty.

I don't have any particular standards of attractiveness, it depends on the story, and is about personality over looks, although if there was an emphasis on how 'ugly' a female character was, that'd be a turn-of. There are a number of attributes, physical and mental, that I can have a visceral negative reaction to, however, can't be easily expressed, as they're individualistic to each person, dependent on how they combine with other traits.

What I do find amusing is the amount of women who offer up their characters with beach-ball sized breasts, when that, or a woman being 'top-heavy' doesn't really do anything for me, and I prefer what I term 'proportionate to frame'. My biggest fetishes, if you can even call them that, are sarcasm, wit, intelligence and, of course, independence; they'll get me every time, regardless of appearance. It's been said the brain is the largest sexual organ, and, to me, it's also, by far, the most alluring!
 
Mr Quixotic said:
And, my taste in women, do you mean the librarian in a pin-skirt and white, buttoned-up blouse, with long hair in a bun, wearing horned-rimmed glasses? Is that a fetish? xD
Click to expand...

Quix we need to double up some time motherfucker, you're just me from down under.

Mr Quixotic said:
In two roleplays that I'm writing now, one of the female characters is of Korean descent..
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You got any of those... URLS?
 
Sugo said:
you're just me from down under.
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That is a scary, scary thought, Sugo!

Sugo said:
You got any of those... URLS?
Click to expand...

No, lol, sorry, no face-claims for that one, and it's never been directly expressed. Just, she does work as a Korean interpreter, has jade-green eyes, and a few other physical features that led me to that conclusion!
 
Let's not assume there all members here approach RPing with the same mentality/intentions. Some of us like to write stories with the possibility of erotic scenes being open, while others are here with the sole purpose of writing erotic scenes, or to simply cyber-fuck. For the latter, it makes sense that they'd be interested in more attractive-looking characters than mundane faces we see every day. Of those who appreciate a good story, you have some people with little imagination, others who have the 'why go for a 7 when you can go for a 10' mentality, and others who like to embody their characters, to build them as realistically as possible, and end up applying their own standards of attraction when choosing their partner's face claims. Those last ones may not necessarily gravitate towards that same 'look' that appeals to everyone, but they are still applying their own high standard of attraction.

In my older request thread, I had a sizable list of face claims I was willing to use and offered to let my partners choose the ones they liked the most. It had girls from every race I could think of, every body type and hair color. "Blonde and blue-eyes" may not be the dominant norm, but 'high beauty standards' are very common here. Its why I never had the chance to use Parminder Nagra or Cristin Milioti but always receive requests to use Natalie Dormer or Victoria Justice.

Its not that is matters to me, honestly. I tend to use face claims in the first post then completely forget about them. As for my partner's face claim, I rarely have any preferences. I don't really demand a face claim I find attractive, and my opinion on the matter is rarely ever asked of me. Out of all the stories I've had here, I think only one or two were opposite to attractive guys/girls.

1) If you think there's a beauty standard in roleplaying, what do you think it is? For men and women? Where do you think it came from? Do you think it's a reflection of the beauty ideals we have in real life?

Well, I'm positive that every culture has its own beauty standards. Some cultures, for an example, celebrates thin lips, black hair and black eyes. There are cultures that like small breasts, eras where 'thick' women were the epitome of sexiness, and places were legs are more appealing than butts. I'm sure there was a time in Japan when people used to blacken their teeth, and I read about several places that are more attracted to tanned than fair skin.

Globalization fucked that up. With movies and the internet programming people to find the same things attractive. This is why you have women dying their hair blonde all over the world, and why a lot of Asian women are wanting to look more 'American'. I think people still have their individual standards of attraction, but we're all being, and I use this for the lack a better term, 'programmed' to appreciate the same look that's being repetitively shown in movies and shows.

2) Why do you think other physical preferences are seen as fetishes? Do you think the fetish label is a deterrent for being vocal about those physical preferences (i.e., "I don't want to be seen as someone who's into that fetish")?

There is always a term when people deviate from the norm. I personally don't think its a fetish unless you're exclusively attracted to that certain feature, and it should apply to you if you're exclusively attracted to white skin and blue eyes. From a logical point, to me at least, being attracted to black dicks isn't a fetish, but only being able to orgasm by listening to a vacuum cleaner is a fetish.

3) Beauty can be found everywhere; what are some physical traits that you find attractive, either in real life or in roleplaying, that deviate from the beauty standard? What are some uncommon things you find attractive that aren't normally talked about under attractiveness? (e.g., I find full, thick eyebrows on men very sexy. I also like playing a variety of races and ethnicity in roleplays, but a lot of people have responded with, "I don't like race play," as if it's a strange concept seeing other races and people of mixed heritage in 21st century United States :s).

Race play is something else entirely, its not just writing opposite a black guy. Its just a racist, or at least non-PC, sexual scene. Often non-con.

Thick eye brows are indeed sexy. I appreciate tanned skin and small lips. Most gravitate towards extra tall guys; I don't mind guys that are my height. "Dad bods" are fine too. I like black hair and black eyes the most, but I don't mind other colors. Also, I don't like it when a face looks too perfect. I find small imperfections endearing. If they still manage to look hot with a crooked nose or a bald head, then they are really hot (;

Other things I find attractive are pretty much in line with the norm.
 
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