Why do people care what gender you are

[Sleepingskill]

Lol sometimes it dumbfounds me like how people accuse others of (" well what if your a guy or girl") type of thing I use kik and pm only as a way to get respond faster and so that I don't forget about the rp like what happens with me if I rp via threads lol I'm a forgetful person but I was laughing to myself earlier a person messaged me on kik and asked me for a picture I said no cause my other half doesn't like me sending or receiving pics and I respect the trust that we have built in our relationship then the person a cussed me of being a guy and later asked for a picture of my bra lol I'm like that is even worse it really dumbfounded me because I treat kik like blue moon I will not ask for pics nor will I give any out lol has anyone else had issues similar to this wether it's on kik or blue moon also why do you think some people are like this

 

[Rudolph Quin]

I haven't had people solicit pics of me but I have experienced this gender bias first hand. Like, I started out on Literotica and that place is basically a meat market where people look for others to hook up with. One thing I noticed is that the personal ad section and the amateur pic feedback(where members post sexual photos of themselves) are really popular. People are looking for connection is the only thing I can figure. It's really convenient to hook up and cyber with someone online rather than risk disease and rejection in the real world. At the very least, on a site like Fetlife or whatever, you're in a sexual environment and asking for sexual content isn't necessarily out of the blue, you know? Changing the way we hook up doesn't change a lot of the core things about us, like sexuality. Hetero men will look to hook up online with women and if they find out that the pics and cyber was faked by a man, it's kind of a turn off.

I think that extends to the rp world. Not everybody is here for the story. They're looking to fulfill sexual fantasies in order to get off. Well, just like with finding out the pics of a lady you were just with are fake, the same with finding out that the person you were writing with was actually a man. If you're not into that, then it can feel a little weird. I don't begrudge people their preferences but it does sound skeevy when someone asks for pics of you.

I mean, you already told them no, so just block them. If they continue to bother you, especially here, just go ahead and report them because I don't think BMR allows people to solicit that sort of thing on site? I know we have specific rules about treating the site like a meat market.

 

[Sleepingskill]

I haven't had people solicit pics of me but I have experienced this gender bias first hand. Like, I started out on Literotica and that place is basically a meat market where people look for others to hook up with. One thing I noticed is that the personal ad section and the amateur pic feedback(where members post sexual photos of themselves) are really popular. People are looking for connection is the only thing I can figure. It's really convenient to hook up and cyber with someone online rather than risk disease and rejection in the real world. At the very least, on a site like Fetlife or whatever, you're in a sexual environment and asking for sexual content isn't necessarily out of the blue, you know? Changing the way we hook up doesn't change a lot of the core things about us, like sexuality. Hetero men will look to hook up online with women and if they find out that the pics and cyber was faked by a man, it's kind of a turn off.

I think that extends to the rp world. Not everybody is here for the story. They're looking to fulfill sexual fantasies in order to get off. Well, just like with finding out the pics of a lady you were just with are fake, the same with finding out that the person you were writing with was actually a man. If you're not into that, then it can feel a little weird. I don't begrudge people their preferences but it does sound skeevy when someone asks for pics of you.

I mean, you already told them no, so just block them. If they continue to bother you, especially here, just go ahead and report them because I don't think BMR allows people to solicit that sort of thing on site? I know we have specific rules about treating the site like a meat market.

Where would I go for in the future if this happens to me on blue moon to report people this incident happened on kik but if it were to happen on blue moon where should I go to report it

 

[Rudolph Quin]

Where would I go for in the future if this happens to me on blue moon to report people this incident happened on kik but if it were to happen on blue moon where should I go to report it

Any messages you get, go ahead and forward them to any of these people darkangel76, Razgriz, or Broomhandle(he's not on and I can't find a link to his account). Anybody with a red or green name, just tell them what is happening, show them the messages and they'll be sure to help you as soon as they can. Like, just copy the messages and make sure they know who is doing it.

 

[Sleepingskill]

Where would I go for in the future if this happens to me on blue moon to report people this incident happened on kik but if it were to happen on blue moon where should I go to report it

Any messages you get, go ahead and forward them to any of these people darkangel76, Razgriz, or Broomhandle(he's not on and I can't find a link to his account). Anybody with a red or green name, just tell them what is happening, show them the messages and they'll be sure to help you as soon as they can. Like, just copy the messages and make sure they know who is doing it.

Ty

 

[Star Pupil]

It's why I stopped giving out my Skype handle.

 

[Sleepingskill]

It's why I stopped giving out my Skype handle.

I might have to do that with kik if it keeps up it only happened once so no need to just yet

 

[RedRose]

I've rarely had someone doubt I was a girl. The few times it happened? I wasn't going to bother "proving" anything. They could take it or leave it.

 

[Dark Desires]

[size=-2]There are many factors as to why people care what gender others are, let's look at this from an online role-playing perspective, shall we? First and foremost, comfort zone, in one on one role-plays, there are those who seek to rp with the opposite gender, for comfort sake, they feel at ease knowing that the person on the other side is the opposite gender, especially the role-play goes the romantic or sexual route. Some people have also had bad or weird experiences role-playing with the same or opposite sex, due to that factor they switch to only rping with the same or opposite sex. Preference, some males prefer to rp with females, because their character is male and want to rp with a female who plays female characters, they feel or believe that they can portray the gender more realistically than a male, rping as a female ever could and vice versa. Some people can pull of role-playing as a gender that they are not with ease, while other struggle or fail at it completely. In the end, females know females better than males do and males know males better than females do. There are also those who seek to improve their portrayal of a certain gender and make things more realistic and one of the ways is to rp with someone who is and rps as the gender, you are trying to portray and can do it justice, due to the fact they are the gender they write as and thus have a much better understanding of the gender. [/size]

 

[RedRose]

While I don't care about male or female writer as long as the character is believable, I definitely understand that some do...
If it's more than RP to some, then I understand even better why they only want (wo)men.

 

[Melevolence]

As a guy (though I am one who is more than comfortable with himself and my sexuality), I can only assume that they would feel that roleplaying with a male might be awkward to them. Even if the male is playing a female role. In a round about way it could be seen as being 'gay'.

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I find it absurd people would want you to send pictures to validate your gender when it comes to an escape such as roleplaying. Don't let them get under your skin.

 

[bad girl]

Most time when an organization or a company ask about my gender -- I understand it is just data information to understand who they serve. Have to say, if they really do not know my gender: most women will think of me as a male. And it is the same with males as well. It could be just a natural default comment. Then again, I do work in a organization structure that more men work in the field then women. So it could be a natural bias. But, I do not mind if someone calls me sir.

 

[Xanaphia]

I was dropped once after being accused of being a guy. Because of how I wrote some male side characters in the rp. Funny thing is, I didn't think I was all that good at writing male characters at the time. Oh well.

 

[Feral-Scarab]

Personally it does not matter to me what the gender of the person on the other side of the computer is regardless of whether or not the rp involves sexual exploits. For me, rp is an escape from reality a realm of fantasy. I am portraying and playing as a character which may or may not endear attributes of myself personally. To me, rp is acting...after all it's called 'role playing' for a reason. You assume the mantle of something to which can be any variance of yourself or opposite yourself in real life.

For those who are seeking a far more realistic session, fostering an actual relationship with the other person verses having fun with a set of characters I can certainly understand the individual's insistence on knowing their partner's gender. This is my own personal interpretation of the term but to me 'cybering' is different than character sex. Cybering can involve anything from sending explicit pictures of one's self through email or text [sexting] to an individual; to using a persona of one's self in a written sex scene.

Now again this might very well just be me, but Persona's/Sonas are different than Character Muses. I actually do not use nor solicit my Personas for rp. Instead I strictly reserve them for interaction with individuals I have grown to know over a lengthy period of time, have become good friends with and know or at least possess a large sum of confidence I will not be harassed and or judged based upon my Personas since they are much more personal let alone intimate expressions of MYSELF verses a Character Muse I adopt to run around and do whatever with. Normally I will only play A.U. Character designs these days and I normally will only play males. Reason being I've had more than enough of the over sexualization and 'meat market style' aspects being directed or even demanded of my female characters on other sites. I'm tired of having my females degraded or pushed aside because they are not the nymphomaniacs most individuals seems to seek in rp these days. They are very tailored and possess vibrant and bold personalities, strong wills, are readily capable of handling themselves in most mental and physical situations, and often very rough and tumble let alone being jacks of different trades depending.

They are rather intimidating women to say the least and unlike most female characters I've encountered they do not readily search for sex. With my females I am FAR more story driven than my males. Using a male character I tend to stick to 70/30 or 60/40 ratio of story to smut. Where my females are 80/20 at the lowest of story to smut. Most of the time they are 90/10 story to smut ratio or no smut at all. This is due to the fact they hold a subconscious base of myself. I can certainly be a flirt but I'm not about to get myself involved sexually with someone IRL until I've known them for a long time and feel comfortable enough to take this next step. As such it's reflected in my female characters.

My males are a little more brazen as I tend to subconsciously dump a larger amount of my won sexual frustrations into them. My personality is very tom-boy and until you spend time to get to know me I'm easily mistaken for a guy online should one base their assumptions off my writing style, characters, let alone my blunt mannerism of speaking when OOC. I've never adhered myself to stereotypes and never found myself attracted or conditioned while growing up to like or behaving in the 'stereotypical' girly fashion. I was always encouraged to follow my own path and do what felt right for myself. I remember my father's mother making some rather nasty comments when I was a kid to my parents that I was going to turn out to be a butch lesbian because they were not teaching me to be a 'proper girl.' XP Even as a kid I found this comment rather horrible. This lady had some serious homophobic issues to say the least, just putting that out there right now. But she's dead and gone so it doesn't matter any more. As a quick note on the topic same gender lovers is totally fine by me. So long as you are in love and care for one another what does a few body parts matter seriously?

Anyways back on topic. I can certainly understand the aspect of one feeling tricked or betrayed if they play in a sexual situation with someone of the same gender despite the partner using an opposite sex character. It can be a bit mind boggling as the individual would sit there and wonder if they were attracted merely to the character or the person controlling the character thus leading into a whole spiral of questioning one's sexuality as it can become very confusing at this point. Some people harbor a serious fear of this, thus they will avoid the issue all together by requesting to rp with opposite sex or even same sex depending, for rps with sexual situations.

Again, for me personally, I view the sexual aspect of an rp [[not a cyber relationship]] no differently than if I find myself hot and bothered by a steamy scene written in a book or seen in a movie. After all someone has to come up with the stories and the author of the book or screen writer can easily be male or female. For me its the content itself which I am attracted to, not the individual who is writing it or did write it.

 

[Asphodel Terrarium]

Lol sometimes it dumbfounds me like how people accuse others of (" well what if your a guy or girl") type of thing I use kik and pm only as a way to get respond faster and so that I don't forget about the rp like what happens with me if I rp via threads lol I'm a forgetful person but I was laughing to myself earlier a person messaged me on kik and asked me for a picture I said no cause my other half doesn't like me sending or receiving pics and I respect the trust that we have built in our relationship then the person a cussed me of being a guy and later asked for a picture of my bra lol I'm like that is even worse it really dumbfounded me because I treat kik like blue moon I will not ask for pics nor will I give any out lol has anyone else had issues similar to this wether it's on kik or blue moon also why do you think some people are like this

Oh! :O I thought this thread was about something else (i.e. Gender particular in jobs) but found it to be thus, which is about RPing.

Well, firstly, for RPing, I never am particular with gender, as long as the people is honest on what gender they are, and what gender the character they want to RP as. If they want their personal gender to remain undosclosed, then we respect that choice.

Secondly, I only suspect that others may be particular because they want to feel the RP as is; there is something in make beliefs that want you to imagine that you are really there. If for example, a male wants to RP as male with a female character, it helps that if the partner is also female in real life and not just male playing with a female character.

And lastly, I won't give much comment about gender partiality in job seeking, as that is another story. I will only say that I find that it irks me to find a job I want but only that the employer wants female (N.B. I'm male in real life).