Someone pooped in subway last night.

[ZOMBiiE]

So I was working the late shift last night with 2 girls, we were out back preparing food/cleaning when I heard the bell so I walked out front to greet the customer. I could immediately tell that he was quite drunk, he was staggering around a little and it took him a few seconds to make his way towards the counter. I said hello, then continued to ask him what I could make for him. He asked if he would be able to get a sub for under $2 (a lot of homeless people and crack heads around the store, so we get asked this a lot actually. :l) and I said replied with a simple no. So he started to walk out of the store, and so I started walking towards the back room, when out of the corner of my eye I noticed him squatting down in the middle of the floor. He pulled down his pants, and took a dump right in the middle of subway. Luckily it was late (around 10:50ish) and there were no other customers in the store. I just kind of stared at him for a second or two before yelling out "Kelsey, there's someone taking a dump on the floor." or something along that line, she thought I was joking because apparently someone took a dump on the floor in another subway a few days ago. But she walked out in time to see the man leaving, and a small pile of shit on the floor.

I made her clean it.
Seriously, is there a serial pooper on the loose?

What's the weirdest thing to ever happen to you on the job? D:

 

[Nocturnal Pulse]

Well can't say anything really weird has happened to me on the job, had some stupid stuff happen though. I could give a few examples of that, but nothing that I Would call weird like some one taking a dump in the middle of the place.

 

[Shovel]

A special needs group came through my line at Kmart. While I was ringing them up, one of them wet themselves massively, leaving a puddle of piss on the floor in front of my register. One of the other special needs people looked at his friend who had soiled themselves, gasped, and made a face like this :-o I laughed at first, until I realized who had to clean it up.

 

[Rudolph Quin]

Worked at Hollywood Video and had an old lady(looked like a grandmother, and had the sweetest little old lady face and voice ever) come in late one night and ask for hardcore porn titles. =/ It was the most awkward thing I've done in my life, directing her to the section we did have of those kinds of movies and she completely brushed me off when I suggested anything anime. -_-;

 

[Nocturnal Pulse]

Old people need to get off to....as a matter of fact they need more help getting off. And for the anime thing they have the mind set that it's all just stupid cartoons

 

[Shovel]

Haha...thats awesome. Should have told her how to get to a Burlesque show.

I can't wait until I'm that old. Looking all innocent like, then going to the porn store and making them youngins feel awkward.

 

[Rudolph Quin]

I think it would have been better if it had been an old man. It was just...disconcerting imagining her going home watching Cum Crazy Cock Suckers or Big Black Horny Mothers and then baking cookies or knitting in her rocking chair or something. =/

 

[ZOMBiiE]

I think it would have been better if it had been an old man. It was just...disconcerting imagining her going home watching Cum Crazy Cock Suckers or Big Black Horny Mothers and then baking cookies or knitting in her rocking chair or something. =/

Maybe she could knit some socks for her blow up doll?

 

[Rudolph Quin]

I think it would have been better if it had been an old man. It was just...disconcerting imagining her going home watching Cum Crazy Cock Suckers or Big Black Horny Mothers and then baking cookies or knitting in her rocking chair or something. =/

Maybe she could knit some socks for her blow up doll?

Oh, yes, most definitely. Let's bring sex toys visualization into this. Thank you. -_-; Old lady vag with dildo between her thighs for 400 please, Mr. Trebek.

 

[Nocturnal Pulse]

I think it would have been better if it had been an old man. It was just...disconcerting imagining her going home watching Cum Crazy Cock Suckers or Big Black Horny Mothers and then baking cookies or knitting in her rocking chair or something. =/

Maybe she could knit some socks for her blow up doll?

Oh, yes, most definitely. Let's bring sex toys visualization into this. Thank you. -_-; Old lady vag with dildo between her thighs for 400 please, Mr. Trebek.

I LMAO with that one

 

[ZOMBiiE]

I think it would have been better if it had been an old man. It was just...disconcerting imagining her going home watching Cum Crazy Cock Suckers or Big Black Horny Mothers and then baking cookies or knitting in her rocking chair or something. =/

Maybe she could knit some socks for her blow up doll?

Oh, yes, most definitely. Let's bring sex toys visualization into this. Thank you. -_-; Old lady vag with dildo between her thighs for 400 please, Mr. Trebek.

She probably also owns a fuck machine.
Just imagine those rolls jiggling all around as a 20 inch dildo charges in and out of her saggy old cunt at 100 times a minute.

 

[Rudolph Quin]

No, yeah, I asked for that, didn't I? -_-

 

[Shovel]

lol vag like wizards sleeve

 

[My_Apocalypse_Pony]

Maybe she could knit some socks for her blow up doll?

Oh, yes, most definitely. Let's bring sex toys visualization into this. Thank you. -_-; Old lady vag with dildo between her thighs for 400 please, Mr. Trebek.

She probably also owns a fuck machine.
Just imagine those rolls jiggling all around as a 20 inch dildo charges in and out of her saggy old cunt at 100 times a minute.

i am pretty sure i died a little inside after that one guys.....

 

[My_Apocalypse_Pony]

I work at Chili's, and one time these black people got really mad at me and called me racist because i sat another couple who came in after them. I didn't know they where next, i asked and they didn't say anything and the other people came forward. I felt really bad, but they made a really big scene and my manager had to ask them to leave. they came back in like five minutes later and had to wait at the back of the line.

 

[wendi darling]

If there are serial poopers out there, I want to be one.

 

[Misha Hiroki]

If there are serial poopers out there, I want to be one.

 

[dramamine213]

I used to work for a PC company that rhymes with Hell. I took tech support calls and most were really easy and the ones that weren't, I got to forward onto a special team of 'experts' (people with more time available to troubleshoot). That is, until they shut that queue down. Then we all became 'experts'. To explain my work story, I'll spell it out in naritive.

Me: Thank you for calling Hell technical support. Can I have your name and serial number, please?
Lady: *Gives information*
Me: Thank you, Ms. Lady. How can I help you today?
Lady: Well, my address bar is missing in my Explorer. It was there earlier today. *said in a nervous tone*
Me: Okay, I can help you with that. Do you have an Internet Explorer page open now?
Lady: I said the issues was with Explorer, not Internet Explorer. And yes, I do.
Me: I'm sorry. What's displayed in your Explorer now?
Lady: MSN Hotmail, but I still don't have an address bar.
Me: Well, Ma'am, that's Internet Explorer you're in. Can you open an Explorer page for me so I can assist you?
Lady: I have an Explorer page open already. Do you not speak English? *slightly annoyed tone*
Me: I'm sorry about that Ms. Lady. I misunderstood what you think Internet Explorer is. Okay, can you take your cursor and move it to the 'View' option at the top of the page?
Lady: I said I don't have an address bar. How am I suposed to do that? *starting to get cranky*
Me: Well, the address bar has nothing to do with the 'View' option. It would be above--
Lady: I can't do it. There's no address bar.
Me: *silence while rubbing eyebrows for ~1~ second*
Lady: HELLO?! You there? *being cranky*
Me: Yes, I'm sorry. I was looking up some information that would help with your problem. Do you use the touch pad on your laptop?
Lady: Uh duh. How else would I make the arrow move? *being a cunt now*
Me: Okay, can you move the arrow to the top of the Explorer page above where the address bar used to be an click on the word View?
Lady: How is that going to get my address bar back?
Me: There's an option under there that turns the address bar on and off. I'm going to see if the option has it turned off.
Lady: *silence for a moment* It ain't there.
Me: What isn't there?
Lady: What you want me to do. It ain't there.
Me: *getting annoyed* What's not there? The View option? The arrow? *trying to sound helpful*
Lady: It ain't there. Can I talk to someone else?
Me: Most of our staff is currently on calls and I'm quite capible of fixing your issue if you'd work with--
Lady: I want to speak to your supervisor. *sounding snooty*

Take in mind that this dialouge has taken nearly an hour for her to get this far. She proceedes to suddenly not know how to use her PC and declare to speak with someone else. So I proceede to get the closest thing to a supervisor I can, which so happens to be my hubby. When he comes over he asks what the issue is and I explain "This bitch seems to suddenly have forgotten how to use a mouse since the begining of the call. All I'm getting from her now is grunts and whines when I ask her to *insert the issue*" He looked at me if I had gone retarded because this is an easy call. They lady had paid $99 to talk to me and refused to work with me. So on the phone he goes.

Him: Hello Ms. Lady! I'm a supervisor here at Hell and I've been told that *insert issue*. Is this correct?
Him: Okay, can I have you click View on your Internet Explorer page and move the cursor over to Toolbars. Is Address Bar unchecked?
Him: Okay, go ahead and check it.
Him: I'm glad we could get that taken care of. Is there anything else I can assist with today?
Him: Thank you for calling Hell technical support. We're available 24/7. Have a great day.

I come to find out that as soon as he got on the phone, Ms. Lady told him "I don't like working with women. Those bitches don't know shit." My jaw was on the floor. I had some of the best numbers on the floor and here, this cunt assumes I don't know anything because she's functionally retarded. I'm so glad I don't work for that place anymore. That was the only call in a whole year that got under my skin.

 

[Nocturnal Pulse]

yikes..... well at least you didn't have to deal with the stupid people in person like I do.

 

[3ngag3]

An excerpt from a friend who worked at a Quiznos some time ago.

i work at quiznos, which is a pretty nice place to work. it has its perks. so yesterday was slow, not a lot of business. so we have this 9' inflatable drink cup outfit that you can wear, so me and the owner (which is korean and doesnt speak a lot of english) go out to the street and im wearing this joint. and its huge. i put my arm up to try and touch the top and i cant reach it. so he's on one side of the lane where you turn into the plaza and im o n the other side, and these little 9 or 10 year old black kids come up..and they're laughing, and then their laughing goes to BEEFING! like joke beefing, and they're punching me, but its just bouncing off, because well, im in an inflatable suit with a battery and a fan inside it and its taut, their punches just deflect right off. tso they're laughing and they just run away, into the drive thru lane of the wendys that they just came out of. so this happens again, and then they're laughing harder, and asking me stuff and they cant hear me because its a huge drink suit. evantually the 3rd time they come running back , they're punching me and kicking me, but its not malicious. they're just like cracking up and kind of running around me and i cant catch the. but then the yboth slam into me and dogpile on me, which pisses me off. i mean hell, im a huge soft drink, im wearing this costume, and im not going to get compleel jobbed out by two little kids. so i ROAR and throw the one off me, and i grab the other one, all the time mr ahn is on the other side of the street, i cant see if he's laughing or what because i can barely see anything out of this thing. so i grab the kid and give him a tombstone piledriver in the grass. i protected him well, but the kid got right up and nosold it and then fell down laughing hysterically. in hindsight, it was probably a bad move to give a kid a piledriver like that on the clock, but hell, i was the huge quiznos subs mascot, i wasnt about to get jobbed out by these little punks. afterwards i gave them some $2.00 off coupons and it was all copacetic. no harm no foul.

the kid's dad came out of the wendy's and he's all like 'you alright'?

why didnt anyone try and help me? this is my life.

 

[Ferid]

Sometimes you just gotta go!

I used to work in a huge movie theater. Once, we found a turd in the lobby, on a -busy- Friday night. We had no idea how someone managed to pinch a loaf there during the 7 o'clock rush without anyone noticing. Another time a kid got caught thinking he was funny taking a dump in a theater. Watching a police officer tell a kid's parents that he thought it was a good idea to poop in a theater was a priceless experience that I will forever treasure.