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Nymphetamine Girl..

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Nymphetamine

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Finally, I've decided I need an outlet.
Perhaps one of these days I'll write out my story.
My life...
My hell.
Most people who've met me can tell my life hasn't been easy, but by no means was it super difficult..
In short; I had no childhood. When I was young, I had to be mature and take care of myself. No one else would.. they had no time for me. There had always been something much more important than Emily going on.
Though now; looking back I smile at these facts.
These terrible mistakes of my parents made me.. well, me. Sure, like most young adults I wish I was 'better', prettier, smarter, etc. Wished I didn't make the dumb-ass'd mistakes that I did. But I'm pretty content with how it's going, I have to be.
I'm independent, strong willed, clever, adaptable, laid-back and such.. though at the same time, I'm very guarded of my feelings, I'm angry, violent, twisted and have multiple mental/ Health disorders..


Never the less, that's just a tid-bit of me.

September 19th
Today if my first day back to work. I work from 5 till 11 tonight.
I'm excited; Friends, Money, Getting out of the house..
I'm scared; Bad Habits, Sickness, Light-Headed and such.. I hope to GOD I survive tonight. I don't know how my body will react being pushed back into that situation..

Three days ago was mine and Dan's one month mark.
It was a little bit awkward when I brought it up.
He was thinking about it, but didn't know how to say it.
I'm a bit better with words than he is.
 
October 3rd 2009
People are dumb.
I hate people.
Mostly dumb people.

I swear to fucking god, if my boss tries to get me to work back end on Thursday, Saturday and Sunday, I will prove my point by purposely vomiting on him.
To the curious ones reading; I have gull bladder disease. In the next two months my gull bladder will be being removed via lyproscopic surgery.. or something like that. Anywho, the smell and taste of grease makes me gag and sometimes it physically hurts me to the point where I fall over and can't move until I take extremely strong prescription medication. So, seeing as I work at McDonalds and I still need a source of income (and I'm a very good employee) they should try and help me with these pains in the ass. Perhaps by making my work indirectly with the food. I.e., handing it to people out a fucking window (which is what I will do, not matter what anyone says).

To add onto that, I will be getting braces on November 12th... after getting oral surgery done. They'll be pulling the bottom two of my four baby teeth (yes, I know) from my jaw, and then "forcefully extract" the adult teeth growing in on fucked up angles into place with a pulley system almost.

Ow.

Both of these will be happening in November, most likely. So, I'm expecting a bought of depression, anxiety and complete lack of emotion for a few weeks.
Oh well.
 
My god...
People piss me off.
How hard is it to sit for an hour, watch a band play, and listen to a speech or two?
FOR AN HOUR!
And then you try to tell me it's a waste of time?

My mother is over there, risking her life for you, and you can't even do that for her? For ME? Your friend? The person who has been there for you for the two or three years I've known you? The person who you tell your problems too? The person you laugh with?

Why?
Why do I put up with your bullshit!
You are a waste of air and space, you sit on your fat ass and drink your fucking slurrpes, do it. I dare you.
Play your video-games.
I hope you get sent over seas and YOU get blown up.
Because when the Remembrance Day comes up after that.
No. I will NOT remember you.
 
Surgery tomorrow and working tonight.
Surgery is an over night so I wont be released until Thursday Afternoon...
And if the drugs have worn off by then, I will take more. And be bedridden until Friday afternoon.
Most likely is I wont be mobile until Monday.
I really hope I have cool scars afterward...
 
Well..
This sucks so much ass.

So, he left me.
Gave me hope.
Took me back.
Left me again.

Now he's trying to be my friend, he is trying to joke with me... but at the same time he's chilling with this other girl.
How is that SUPPOSED to make me feel?
He knows I'm a jealous person.
He knows I'm upset.
And he's making it worse.

If he actually cared (like he claims to) wouldn't he stick around and try to make it work?
He's the ONLY ONE who says it wouldn't work out.
No one else can even understand.

Does this mean it has to be my fault? What did I do wrong? Is it my eccentric personality (which he claimed to attract him in the first place)? Is it my Manic Depression (which he helped with Soooo much...)? Or is it the fact that I'm just a person who will never be able to be happy?

Fuck. My. Life.

How do you go from everything to someone, to nothing?
Mostly when it pains you so much to think of them unhappy.
I'd jump in front of a BUS for this fucker...
and he doesn't care.

The moral of this story is: Trust no-one. No matter how much they promise to never hurt you. They're all liars.
 
*hugs nymph*

I know your pain, Nymphy. And i know that moral well enough.

I'm here for you :)
 
Think about the percentage of all relationships, worldwide, throughout time, that have worked out.

.1%? Nah, too high. .001%? Probably still too high, but we'll go with it.

You're playing long odds.

Another will come, that you'll love even more. I'm aware you don't believe that now, but it's true.
 
Trygon said:
Think about the percentage of all relationships, worldwide, throughout time, that have worked out.

.1%? Nah, too high. .001%? Probably still too high, but we'll go with it.

You're playing long odds.

Another will come, that you'll love even more. I'm aware you don't believe that now, but it's true.
Click to expand...
0.1% too high? Eh, probably when dealing with the number of male assholes.

But, thanks to arraigned marriages and a sheer bit of luck, it is about .1% of relationships.
 
Raziel99 said:
Trygon said:
Think about the percentage of all relationships, worldwide, throughout time, that have worked out.

.1%? Nah, too high. .001%? Probably still too high, but we'll go with it.

You're playing long odds.

Another will come, that you'll love even more. I'm aware you don't believe that now, but it's true.
Click to expand...
0.1% too high? Eh, probably when dealing with the number of male assholes.

But, thanks to arraigned marriages and a sheer bit of luck, it is about .1% of relationships.
Click to expand...
...There are seven billion people alive in the world today. The grand majority go through a crushing quantity of relationships, large and small, and many people never have a single successful relationship in their life. I don't consider 'dying married' to be a measure of success.
 
Point taken. I was trying to factor in those that had met as their first dates and worked. Kinda hard to get good percentages on imaginary figures, though.
 
Raziel99 said:
Point taken. I was trying to factor in those that had met as their first dates and worked. Kinda hard to get good percentages on imaginary figures, though.
Click to expand...
Do you know anyone, ever, who has had a perfect relationship with the first person they ever fell for?

Hell no. Doesn't happen. You need to learn to love to be any good at it. Puppy love is unquestionably strong, but as stupid as the titular dog tends to be. I can only remember ever hearing about one person marrying their 'first crush', and it was reported in the National Enquirer. And even they had a failed marriage before they returned to their 'Destined mate'.
 
Trygon said:
Raziel99 said:
Point taken. I was trying to factor in those that had met as their first dates and worked. Kinda hard to get good percentages on imaginary figures, though.
Click to expand...
Do you know anyone, ever, who has had a perfect relationship with the first person they ever fell for?

Hell no. Doesn't happen. You need to learn to love to be any good at it. Puppy love is unquestionably strong, but as stupid as the titular dog tends to be. I can only remember ever hearing about one person marrying their 'first crush', and it was reported in the National Enquirer. And even they had a failed marriage before they returned to their 'Destined mate'.
Click to expand...
My parents. And I haven't been that open to listening to other stories for a while.

Anyway, we should stop arguing and return Nymph her thread before he hijack it further.
 
Oh my.
Well..
He wasn't the first person I'd 'fallen for'.
But I've decided I know what kind of man I need in my life.
I know what I want. I'm decisive like that.

But whatever.
Sooner or later he'll realize what he lost.
I hope.
 
Meh.
I'm just mad at the word.
And I've decided to join the Reserves...
 
Well, I wish you luck with whatever you choose. And You will find someone for you, sooner or later.

Just remember that you have friends here.
 
Friends are good. Yeah.
But it's not the same as what you feel when you go to bed every night knowing someone loves you and wants to spend their life with you.

But thank you never the less.
 
I know it's not the same. I went through a breakup recently, too.

And maybe there is... but you just dont know it.
 
I want to be a combat photographer.
And that's why.

Honestly.
I've stopped caring.
Just in general.

That and my entire family is military.
 
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