Is it a secret?

[Rook10]

So I was thinking the other day about how I happened to find BMR shortly after my most recent relationship and how I haven't been in a new one since. Now I don't believe the two correlate because it's not for lack of trying and I definitely do not look at BMR or any of my fellow writers as 'bae' (sorry everyone, it's not you, it's me) but I do find myself wondering how my activity will be affected once I do enter another relationship.

So my question is, to those of you with significant others, do you keep BMR a secret? Do you only log on when you are home alone or using your phone away from your partner? Do you do this because you think they won't understand your kinks? Maybe they would get jealous or consider it cheating to know what you wrote about with total strangers? If not then how involved are they? Do you discuss your RPs like you would the weather? Do they read what you and another person wrote? Do they perhaps contribute ideas as to what you write or how you should respond to a request?

Would love to see if and how BMR influences relationships and how they in turn influence BMR.

 

[Star Pupil]

My boyfriend knows about Bluemoon and my sexual roleplays and it doesn't bother him. He isn't interested in writing and he knows I like to so he doesn't stop me. It doesn't influence our relationship at all.

 

[Temptationist]

WOW I just started a thread about this and had NO IDEA that your thread was about significant others until I just opened it up. My bad!

The bottom line, I've had one partner who's known who hated that I did it, but he did it himself (he was a giant hypocrite) so we just continued with our lives, pretended that neither of us was doing it. It was so silly.

My last major relationship, I stopped roleplaying. Because it really bothered him and I liked him enough at the time to respect that it's crossing a certain line.

Now, however, I won't stop. Why should I? It's not cheating in my opinion. I don't have any emotional or sexual connection with another person.
It's all fictional. It's fictional literature. That's how I see it.

 

[Zeth]

I keep it on the down low until we been dating awhile then let them know. I have not been in a serious Relationship since joining BMR.

 

[Alvis Alendran]

Nope. Absolutely not hiding this place at all

 

[Temptationist]

Nope. Absolutely not hiding this place at all

Do you ever get negative reactions when you tell people about BlueMoon?

 

[HerrFuckface]

My girlfriend knows I role play.She even asked me to help her sign up for two of the sites I belong to,one of which being BMR.

 

[Chai]

Bluemoon is a secret from my offline friends and my family.

I didn't keep it a secret from the boyfriend I ha dwhile I was here on BMR, and I won't keep it a secret from future boyfriends. I think it's important that I tell them what I'm doing, especially since many consider it to be "cheating." I don't think it's cheating because, like Temp, I don't have any romantic emotional or intimate connection with them. Sure, I consider a lot of my partners my friends and a couple of them even as close friends, but I don't ever have a deeper relationship than that.

For me, it's important for me to let my significant other know that I don't roleplay for masturbation or to have sexual fantasies with other people. I roleplay here because I want to write about adult themes, which include but are not limited to sex. Gore, blood, violence, drug use, alcohol use, complex relationships/friendships-- those are all things I like to explore in my writing. And whatever sexual kinks I have in my stories... Well, just because I write them doesn't mean I would ever do them in real life.

As for my boyfriend who I was with when I signed up for BMR, he didn't mind after I explained to him why I was on the site. He'd read a couple of my posts, but other than that, he stayed out of my activity here. It was more of an activity that interested me and not him, and he respected that. I remember asking him about plot ideas I had and whether they made for good stories, but that was about it.

 

[Alvis Alendran]

Nope. Absolutely not hiding this place at all

Do you ever get negative reactions when you tell people about BlueMoon?

My situation is a little unique, as in this case, she'd have a hard time getting bent about me being on here, seeing as she was here first.

She doesn't really come around much anymore but...well, you get the idea

 

[Temptationist]

Nope. Absolutely not hiding this place at all

Do you ever get negative reactions when you tell people about BlueMoon?

My situation is a little unique, as in this case, she'd have a hard time getting bent about me being on here, seeing as she was here first.

She doesn't really come around much anymore but...well, you get the idea

Been in exactly your shoes.

 

[Temptationist]

Bluemoon is a secret from my offline friends and my family.

I didn't keep it a secret from the boyfriend I ha dwhile I was here on BMR, and I won't keep it a secret from future boyfriends. I think it's important that I tell them what I'm doing, especially since many consider it to be "cheating." I don't think it's cheating because, like Temp, I don't have any romantic emotional or intimate connection with them. Sure, I consider a lot of my partners my friends and a couple of them even as close friends, but I don't ever have a deeper relationship than that.

For me, it's important for me to let my significant other know that I don't roleplay for masturbation or to have sexual fantasies with other people. I roleplay here because I want to write about adult themes, which include but are not limited to sex. Gore, blood, violence, drug use, alcohol use, complex relationships/friendships-- those are all things I like to explore in my writing. And whatever sexual kinks I have in my stories... Well, just because I write them doesn't mean I would ever do them in real life.

As for my boyfriend who I was with when I signed up for BMR, he didn't mind after I explained to him why I was on the site. He'd read a couple of my posts, but other than that, he stayed out of my activity here. It was more of an activity that interested me and not him, and he respected that. I remember asking him about plot ideas I had and whether they made for good stories, but that was about it.

I really like this answer and respect it. I agree with what you've said.

I feel like once you communicate the idea and meaning behind why you write on a website/forum-based community like BlueMoon, it really doesn't sound as sexualized or perverted. However, I also don't roleplay stories which are solely based on sex. I also don't roleplay to be aroused. I get intellectually aroused by literature in general, but not so much sexually (even when the content is sexual). So, it might be different for other people.

Regardless... to me, it's comparable to reading erotic literature (book format). Just because I'm reading it, doesn't mean I'm trying to hide something, or trying to find arousal in this text because of something lacking IRL. It's just a hobby, like anything else. It shouldn't threaten the relationship.

 

[Squishypink]

I come here to play out really weird or destructive fantasies, so I basically don't talk about it with anyone in real life.

 

[Xanaphia]

My significant other knows about this, and we discuss my plots sometimes, and he even suggests ideas every now and then. And he benefits from my time spent on here so...

 

[HeyThereLittleBear]

My role-playing is by no means a secret. I have been role-playing for thirteen years and no one will be stopping me from doing it. My husband has no interest in reading my role-plays and before we ever dated I put things in place - role-playing is not just my hobby, it is a part of me. I am a role-player. If he can't handle that, then he isn't right for me. It came before him and would come after him if he put push to shove.

Frankly, he wishes I wouldn't talk about it. He doesn't care about anything I do online because he knows I'm about as fuckable as a cactus when out of character.

 

[Enigma_x]

I've loved reading the posts in here.

I think honesty is the best policy. You are who you are and you have a hobby of writing. My SO knows about BMR and knows writing is a big hobby of mine, regardless of platform. I explained that it's writing with other people including sexual content and he respects it. I make it clear to my partners that I have NO intimate interest in them personally, it's simply characters. I'm not looking to cyber or for a thrill, I have that at home. I'm just looking to write amazing stories and sexual content comes and goes, you know?

He games a lot, sometimes we game together or I write while he games. I think it's a positive thing to have different hobbies in a relationship so you have your own thing going.

As for other people, I keep it fairly open - ish. I felt it's important for my partner to know simply because it may have bothered him. For family, they know I write on sites. Mainly because they've asked what I'm up to so I told them. As for friends, it's pretty much the same. They know I write, but that's about it. I have to say, I like having my own little hobby I can disappear off into that doesn't involve my IRL so to speak. That's the point of an escape, right?! ;D

 

[My_Apocalypse_Pony]

My husband and I met on this site, even though I don't care about people know how we met, for most people they don't understand. It's not a secret for me but I usually just tell people we met online through a mutual friend l, which isn't technically a lie lol. I am not ashamed of who I am or what I do in my free time, it what makes me who I am and if you don't like that you can suck my left nut.

 

[Asphodel Terrarium]

It is a secret. I do not have a significant other- so the answer is no, they do not. It is exactly the reason why I am here. I am thinking that if I do get to have someone, met that soulmate or whatever crazy term you call them now, I might discontinue going to this site. There is somewhat a high chance of that.

 

[Shovel]

My ex was into roleplay just as I am, just not on this particular forum. We both knew about each others roleplay habits and we didn't poke our noses into each others business. So, it wasn't really a secret. We just respected each others privacy.