Co-writing and OOC chat.

[darkangel76]

So, those of us here at BMR like to write. Or, well, I'm assuming most of us do in some capacity. This makes me wonder: do people enjoy OOC chatting with their co-writer? If so, how essential is it to your enjoyment of RP? Do you find it a necessity or not, what sorts of things do you like to discuss (ie, are you the sort who actually likes to get to know your co-writer on some level or do you keep it fluffy and strictly to the RP, etc etc?)?

I know, for myself, OOC chatting is pretty much essential for RP survival. If I don't receive it in some way, the RP will surely die. This is why I'm better off making friends with my co-writers first, establishing some sort of level of friendship and then delving into the whole business of RP. That isn't to say I can't do it the other way around. It just means that doing so will take a bit of extra effort. Why? Because I do need to connect to my co-writers. I need to establish some level of friendship. Not saying we have to be best friends. But, I need to feel comfortable talking to my co-writer and know that they feel comfortable back. I need to know we can discuss our RP at any time and, when we post, that we more or less will. This is why it tends to be easier being friends first, co-writers later. XD Doing it the other way means I need to establish the friendship simultaneously with the writing. This is harder because not everyone wants to put in the effort of actually becoming your friend. Again, not saying your best friend. But still a friend, nonetheless. By that, I mean comfortable and have an understanding of ME and me of THEM. We don't just talk fluff and nonsense and go....GUH, OUR RP IS SOOO CUTE!!! Because honestly, I can only say that so many times before I get bored. <.< lol. I'm also not a cyber friend. Nope. Not one of those. And, I do know that a lot of people want and/or expect/hope for it. And, sad to say, that can often times lead to the OOC chatting bit to be rather stale or non-existent because your co-writer doesn't want to talk to you unless you go.....*smiles shyly as I lower myself onto your throbbing cock* Sorry, I'm just NOT going to do that with you. I'm married, in a monogamous relationship and I have other cool shit I'd rather talk about. >.> I don't know. Maybe I'm weird that I actually want substance in my OOC chats with my co-writers. Maybe I'm weird that these actually help me write better stories with my co-writers. But, such is how I am and I wondered how others view it. No way is right or wrong either. But, this is just how I tick. XD

EDIT: Oh, and I should add, that though I find OOC chatting essential for RP survival...I don't need to have it EVERY day. I don't like pesterers or those who get overly demanding of my time and get in my face and space, if you will. It's a fine balance, you could say. It's really about comfort and knowing that your co-writer actually cares not just about the story, but you to a degree even if it's a shallow degree.

 

[ColorWheel]

I prefer discussion if there's to be an actual story. By and large just winging it doesn't seem to go very far for actual story material. Sure there's plenty of freedom but the problem is it doesn't get utilized well or drops dead because no one is sure where to go. I'd prefer to have at least a rough outline, with opening and introduction of characters, a set conflict, and an idea of resolution in mind. Not everything has to be planned out though. Half the fun of RP is moving with a sort of freedom of writing on how characters would actually go about doing things.

I don't need to be friends with writers, but I do prefer them to respond frequently. I don't just want one or two posts/PMs per day. It doesn't have to be a direct story piece, but some amount of chatter on the subject matter at least to know the person is still around and interested.

 

[Rauk]

OOC chat for me, whether I like it or not, is essential to keep my interest alive. If I can talk to the co-writer as a friend, then it adds a lot to it in my opinion. I like making friends more than I do writing, so there is that. Personally, if the only communication I get from the person on the other side of the screen is an in character post every once in a while, it just feels dull, almost robotic. I realize, and respect that plenty others require that there be no OOC, or minimal OOC in order to discuss plot, but I need to connect with who I am writing with to really enjoy the stories.

 

[Dane Stalling]

I like OOC to get to know my partner because my partner is my audience. As far as plot goes, I like to wing it with occasional OOC adjustments. Beyond that, if you get to know someone and to actually enjoy their (virtual) company, it’s more fun to please them, to try to think of ways of making them laugh or draw them into the story more. You can try to tease that out of the story itself, but there’s no substitute for OOC for that.

 

[darkangel76]

THIS! All of this!! That's the thing. Story flows so easily when you get to know your co-writer and put in that time. It's so worth it, in my opinion. And when I don't get it, my interest fizzles and fades. Likewise, if a co-writer tends to push for cyber talk or only chooses to talk fluffy nonsense, my interest will also fade. And in the cases where cyber seems to be the hang up, I'll actually start to feel uncomfortable and shut down on some levels.

 

[AlphaWolfQuin]

I am 100% for getting to know my partners OOC as long as like DA mentioned, they don't get all weird and make advances towards me OOC. Now I'm in a relationship, I'm also Polyamorous but that does NOT mean that I'm open for cyberfucking, sorry just not me and it does NOTHING for me except make me laugh and shut down on you. I'm really weird when it comes to people hitting on me in the first place and well when I'm just trying to be friendly and chat OOC while we're writing and you come at me with your tits out we're not gonna be Gucci I just can't. It makes me uncomfortable and although it may not be the intention of the person doing it, that kinda stuff makes me think you look at me as some kind of way to just get off and that you really don't care about detailed writing or a story and that's a huge turn away for me. I love a good conversation between my partners and I whether we're discussing the story were writing or just bullshitting about random things we like or how our week was. I think OOC chat that is proper and not rude or awkward is definitely something that helps with the progression of the story and the comfort level you build with your partner and like I said I'm 100% for it.

 

[Mr Quixotic]

OoC chat and casual banter is essential to me, for many of the same reasons DA said. It takes a lot of mental energy for me to write each post, and I'd rather expend that energy on people I get along with, where there's camaraderie, and I feel a certain level of comfort with my writing partner. If it's not there, my interest in the story itself quickly wanes, as does the effort I'll put into my posts, and if it is, it makes me want to give my best. I'd say how I get along/communicate with someone OoC is as important to me as the story itself, and the vibe I receive in regards as to how we'll mesh in that way is a major factor in determining my interest in taking up a story with someone.

However, although the conversation needs to have some depth, as with DA, that doesn't mean it has to stray into personal or 'cyber' territory (I like my privacy, and respect that of others), nor be every day, nor every week. With some it's regular and often, which is just a natural extension of enjoying each others conversation/banter, whilst with one or two I might only exchange a message with each post, but what all have in common is that the feeling of 'we're in this together, and having fun' is there, as well as the sense that both actually like the person they're collaborating with.

It just increases my enjoyment of logging onto BMR, and I've also found that, as well as adding depth to the story and making it much easier for the character interactions to flow more naturally, that developing that friendship and mutual respect has the additional benefits of increasing the chances of it lasting long-term, and better communication all round, therefore not being left in the lurch as to knowing when real-life/lack of muse, etc, might get in the way of posting, and lessening the possibility of random, uncommunicated drops.

 

[darkangel76]

Yep and yep!!

I get very turned off when someone attempts cyber. More so if they persist. And it's irritating when it's even brought up at all, especially in the beginning when I'm just getting to know my co-writer since it just comes off like all that's cared about is whether I'll provide you quick 'fix' in between posts. Honestly! I have disclaimers everywhere. I make my statements. It's not difficult to put it together, leave it alone and respect it. I understand that others do it and that's their deal. I'm not one to judge. But for the love of god, don't bring it my way or think you'll be 'that one' to change my mind. That's rude and annoying and a sure way to make me lose my muse and kind of wish I wasn't writing with you.

Same here, Quix. I certainly respect privacy. I don't need all the sordid details of one's personal life to gain connection. But you can tell when conversations are one sided or only entail the fluff. It's nice to get to 'know' your co-writer. That means understanding THEM. Not knowing the ins and outs of what they do, where they live, etc. XD Not sure if that makes any sense. >.<

 

[Fruit]

*sends DA a dickpic* :blush:

I'm somewhat in between.

I've spent my first three years here strictly RPing. While I've had some nice RPs, I'm very sure I hadn't made a single friend at the time (even the people whom I wrote multiple stories with were usernames and avatars to me).

Early 2015ish, I started opening up a bit to people. I've slowly started making friends, chatting via PMs even with those I'm not writing with. The community started becoming warmer and generally a place I'm comfortable in. So right now I'm much more approachable; anyone is free to message me to chat about the weather lol I kind of cheer up when I see a new PM notification - don't judge me. Just make sure you're not allergic to humor >,>

Writing: Its is much more fun writing with friends. All my stories written with friends have been more enjoyable than those written with strangers regardless of writing level and plots. BUT, it isn't a requirement. I don't need to establish a friendship with you to write with you but I would appreciate some kind of rapport. OOC banter is fun, but OOC discussion on the story, planning, updates on schedules, etc.. is what I deem a necessity. There are RPs where I and my partner always PM each other a notification when a post is up, a comment on how they liked the previous post, thoughts about the future scenes, and an expected time for their next post. I love that. If you can't do that without establishing a friendship beforehand, that's fine by me. I have talked with people on TV shows, videogames, graphics, books, etc.. and I've learned that this is a community where most people are like-minded. Except those who want to bang my avatar lol

(I like my privacy, and respect that of others)

I'm insecure about sharing identity information online on BMR, so this is a deterrent for me to 'socialize'. Sometimes I worry too much about sounding bitchy and saying 'no', so I just ignore the question >,<

 

[Mr Quixotic]

(I like my privacy, and respect that of others)

I'm insecure about sharing identity information online on BMR, so this is a deterrent for me to 'socialize'. Sometimes I worry too much about sounding bitchy and saying 'no', so I just ignore the question >,<

Personally, I've no interest in cyber, or delving into private details, and I've a couple of friends who I've been talking to for almost two years, where we have good conversations, but I know virtually nothing about in 'real-life, and others where I know more. I have my own boundaries as to what I'll share depending on comfort levels, and won't pry into others lives, but I'm also aware that's not always the case, so I can understand the hesitation.

This thread just did remind me of an amusing situation, where I was approached by someone who'd taken offence to my RT, but wanted to write with me anyway. I think her exact words, following a few insults, were, "I don't have to like the person I'm writing with," when then asking if I'd be interested in a collaboration, which I didn't exactly take as a great sign for a potential successful partnership, so I politely declined.

 

[Temptationist]

Yes. Absolutely. I agree with you, DA.
I think OOC is essential in the development and survival of the roleplay.

Open communication is key, like in any relationship, to keep the dynamic rolling. Not only between partners but between characters.
I take a LOT of risks when I write. I consider myself to be pretty edgy at times with the plot twists and ideas I present, but I'm also very open-minded and if my writing did not lead into a direction my partner had in mind, we usually just discuss our two ideas and find a way to make them mesh and work together. It always makes for extremely complex and dynamic pairings and plotlines that are AMAZING and so full of life and adventure. I love it!

My biggest pet peeve is a partner who does not actively communicate. And although I've been guilty of this in the past, in recent months I've really reformed my way of playing to make it more inclusive of my partner and OOC. It's a real game-changer. However, no one is perfect. Sometimes OOC and having a friendship with your roleplay partner can interfere. For example, I'm friends with a lot of my partners and BMR friends on Skype. I do find sometimes it can interfere with the motivation to reply, or if there is an argument that has arisen offline BMR, it can affect drive for the roleplay. As shitty as that is. I'm human.

But, you have to find the right balance, I suppose.