TRIGGER

[Daddy's Princess]

I snuggled tighter under his arm, my eyes still closed, lost in the feel of his hand tracing through my hair. My arm lays haphazardly over his chest, the silver scars on my arm from the years I spent cutting shimmering in the softly lit room. He runs his fingers softly over each one, learning their placement as he had done with all the other parts of me. I sighed and he pulled me closer. “You should tell me about these Kitten” I shook my head “Sir, it was something I did a long time ago to make the darkness less scary and the pain hurt less. I'm not in that place anymore…” He paused as if contemplating his next words... “Is this why cutting and needle play are a hard limit for you?” I nodded slowly, turning my head so that I was looking directly at him “I don’t know why or how my brain rationalises it, but deliberate cutting takes me to a very dark place. It’s like I'm immediately back under the weight of my depression and I don’t know how to get out. It’s almost like a trigger” A small sob escaped my chest and he wrapped his free arm around me as he turned on his side and pulled me in close.
We didn’t speak; just lay in silence, individually taking in the information that was just shared. I felt more naked now with him than I ever had before. Part of my soul lay bare in front of me.
He let go slightly and looked at me “You know I love you Kitten” I nodded as my body warmed, his words wrapping me in a comfort I had only known a few times earlier “Well, I want to work with you. I want to turn this into a fun experience for you rather than a bad one. You have complete control and can stop it at any time but I really want you to commit to this and try.” I looked at him and I started trembling softly. He ran his fingers over my cheek and softly left a kiss on my forehead before resting his head back on the pillow. I nodded at him slowly. “Okay Sir…I trust you” His eyes sparkled at my response and he pulled me in tighter to his chest.
He pushes me back slightly and rolls me onto my back, kissing me with growing intensity as he reaches across me and pulls something from under the bed. I pull away and turn my head to look but he grabs my chin and pulls it back “Your eyes will stay on my eyes, understood” I nodded “Yes Sir” I whispered as his lips once more come down on mine. His tongue played with mine and I fell, moaning shamelessly and withering underneath him. When he pulls away I almost whine at the loss of him, opening my eyes and looking at him once more. He leans over the edge of the bed and fumbles through the array of toys which lay discarded on the floor. Finding what he wants he sits up beside me, eyes intently on mine. “Do you trust me Kitten?” He asks. I smile softly and nod “Of course I do Sir” He smiles at me and leans forward, kissing my forehead once again before he lays the blindfold over my eyes and flipping the strap over my head.
My body tenses slightly at the loss of my sight but his hand on my stomach calms me. Suddenly his lips are engulfing mine once more. His hands are moving purposefully across my body. Pinching here, slapping there, grabbing as well. I was on fire, my skin alight, desperate and needy. The kiss is deepened and his hand trails slowly down my stomach. I almost hold my breath in anticipation as his fingers brush my pelvis, trailing down lightly between my legs. I was trying desperately not to grind into him, knowing that unsolicited movements would earn me the caning of a lifetime. I groaned as he teased me, light enough to build me up but not heavy enough for any release. I was squirming when he pulled away, sitting up and moving around on the bed. I groaned at the loss of his warmth but was smart enough not to complain when I heard the flick of a lighter. My body started tingling as soon as the smooth aroma met my nose. Smiling slightly as he moved back towards me, I was panting in anticipation.