Your support makes Blue Moon possible (Patreon)
Do Guys have a harder time finding females to rp with?
- Thread starter Yamada
- Start date
DrStrangeLove
Super-Earth
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2015
I think it depends what exactly you're looking for. I haven't had any trouble, but I think that supply and demand are on my side, at least in my particular niche.
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2009
- Location
- here
Agreed. Really does depend on what you're looking for and what sort of genre you're in. Rape and BDSM are particularly popular, so, framing myself as alpha male, dominant, or assholish male characters, I never really have a problem finding people interested. I used to think an interesting or dynamic plot mattered but it doesn't really. There's always someone new to the scene looking for that kind of play.
What sort of things are you interested in, Yamada? Maybe if you tell a bit more about how you're framing things, we could be more helpful in offering solutions and suggestions for why you might not be getting bites and how you could get more. A request thread tune up is always a good thing! ^w^
Then again, this is a really odd time to be concerned about this particular thing. Like, if you've been having a difficult time finding partners in the last few months, I really wouldn't be too worried. It is the center of two major holidays in the USA right now(I assume a lot of BMRites are American) and not a lot of people might be on and looking for rps. Just talking from a statistical standpoint, you'd think most people would be offline around this particular time, whether for work or family related events.
What sort of things are you interested in, Yamada? Maybe if you tell a bit more about how you're framing things, we could be more helpful in offering solutions and suggestions for why you might not be getting bites and how you could get more. A request thread tune up is always a good thing! ^w^
Then again, this is a really odd time to be concerned about this particular thing. Like, if you've been having a difficult time finding partners in the last few months, I really wouldn't be too worried. It is the center of two major holidays in the USA right now(I assume a lot of BMRites are American) and not a lot of people might be on and looking for rps. Just talking from a statistical standpoint, you'd think most people would be offline around this particular time, whether for work or family related events.
Squishypink
Supernova
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2013
I have a hard time finding female partners sometimes, but mostly it's an issue of specific kinks getting in the way. All the replies I get about my FxF watersports request were guys, for example. But in general I think guys have the harder time finding partners because women's inboxes are always full of new requests and so they don't have to look very far. Seriously for girls the interwebs are an all you can eat buffet of dicks and poor grammar.
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2009
- Location
- here
Squishypink said:
I disagree. Because for every message a guy sends out he's typically sent out several others at the same time. Just based on numbers it is more likely for you to find what you want when you send a message directly asking for it rather than sifting through messages you have gotten which may or may not be specific to your needs. I think it seems easier but it's honestly just different approaches with different types of rejection. Being able to say "no" to a lot of people is not better or worse than being told "no" by a lot of people as far as results and probability of finding what you want.
If you have obscure fandoms or characters you don't see women requesting, AND you insist on playing a submissive guy against a dominant female, you need to adjust what you want or expect to spend a lot of time waiting around. Your writing is basically your "face" online. So if your writing is ugly AND you're really picky about what you want, yeah expect not to get called on that often. vOv
If you're a girl looking for an RP partner, you're probably thinking:
#1 - Is this a weird dude that's gonna be super clingy and/or psycho and fuck my day up?
#2 - Am I going to enjoy writing with this person?
Be observant. Look around at what other people actually want in terms of kinks, fandoms, etc.
Then you need to write a good advertisement. Is the subject line interesting, do I come off as intriguing and fun to write with and not a psycho, can people see what I'm like from this thread? It's not like you're selling a playstation on Craigslist here. The goal is to make people want you. If you're not getting that you need to work on the stuff you can control.
If you're a girl looking for an RP partner, you're probably thinking:
#1 - Is this a weird dude that's gonna be super clingy and/or psycho and fuck my day up?
#2 - Am I going to enjoy writing with this person?
Be observant. Look around at what other people actually want in terms of kinks, fandoms, etc.
Then you need to write a good advertisement. Is the subject line interesting, do I come off as intriguing and fun to write with and not a psycho, can people see what I'm like from this thread? It's not like you're selling a playstation on Craigslist here. The goal is to make people want you. If you're not getting that you need to work on the stuff you can control.
MellowYellow
Pulsar
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2013
It seems that female members just get attention easier.
Like, say, a guy and a girl set up a request thread in their respective subforum at roundabout the same time. The former would maybe have 10-20 views in the span of a few hours, while the latter would have... shit I'd say a hundred or so, maybe a little less, in as much time. So in that regard it's generally harder for guys to even get a notice.
Like, say, a guy and a girl set up a request thread in their respective subforum at roundabout the same time. The former would maybe have 10-20 views in the span of a few hours, while the latter would have... shit I'd say a hundred or so, maybe a little less, in as much time. So in that regard it's generally harder for guys to even get a notice.
Christian_Day
Patron Saint of Rape
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2009
Yamada said:
It depends, when I'm not looking I usually trip over new partners.
If I'm looking, I feel like I can't get laid in a whorehouse.
Also, I often wonder "is that person a girl or a G.I.R.L.?" I've probably unknowingly played with more guys than girls over the years.
501st
Super-Earth
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2015
Probably. Then again, if you couldn't tell the difference, I suppose it doesn't matter much!
I don't identify myself -- I could be male or female. So long as my male personas play with convincing men and vice versa... works for me! But I don't get near as many hits on my male persona.
I don't identify myself -- I could be male or female. So long as my male personas play with convincing men and vice versa... works for me! But I don't get near as many hits on my male persona.
Christian_Day
Patron Saint of Rape
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2009
501st said:
That's my take on things "don't ask, don't offer"
Though, I would say with such a heavy star wars influence on your name/profile my first thought is 'dude'.
Mitsu
Supernova
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2009
While this might be a bit wide of the point of this thread, these are my thoughts on the the overall issue of gender, role-playing, and search threads.
It's a common stigma that only men are super fans of things that are traditionally considered "nerdy". So, when we see someone with Star Wars, Star Trek, DnD, or some hardcore game in their avatar and signature; we are more or less conditioned by society to believe that they are male. Despite what statistics show us, most people will not encounter many women who are fans of traditionally male fandom. I rarely encounter a woman that has ANY interest in the original Mobile Suit Gundam. In fact, I can't recall ever running into one. Despite my personal experience, I know that there ARE women out there that enjoy it. Most people are unable to separate their personal experiences from the larger picture: just because we experience something, it doesn't mean it's truth. We rely on our intuition to tell us what occurs most often, and then act on it.
Our intuition will tell us that it is absolutely safe to go outside in most conditions. We have no reason to doubt this, because we can go outside, numerous times, every day, all year long, and nothing bad will happen to us. In this case our intuition is entirely correct, and is guiding us to do something relatively healthy and often necessary for survival. However, at the same time, if all we know are male Star Wars fans, our intuition will tell us that most Star Wars fans are male. Our experiences shape a picture in our mind that our brain will then peek at without us even knowing it. We rely on our intuition so much that we will sometimes blindly follow, and completely ignore the fact that we cannot possibly draw an accurate conclusion.
A person's complete trust in their own mind and intuition will lead them to believe that a ghost has done something in their house, despite having no good reason to think so. They trust that, because they cannot rationally think of any other cause, that the supernatural must be the answer. Their intuition, programmed by popular media and the tall-tales of others, tells us that it was a Ghost. Without even thinking some people will immediately attribute any odd occurrence to some supernatural means. So, is it so hard to think that people will assume that 501st is a man? Maybe 501st is, but that's nothing but a lucky guess founded on nothing but perceived (likely incorrectly) probability.
That being said, my threads tend to get very very few hits. I mostly role-play fandoms, and often the ones that aren't as commonly listed in the Female Requests. If I were to put my threads in the Female Requests, I suspect I would have more luck. What we have to realize is that the Internet is largely anonymous. We don't have any sure way of knowing if the people behind any one of these accounts is actually male or female. I can put any gender I please in my profile, or none at all. That female request made by the self-proclaimed lesbian, seeking hot pussy and no boys, might just be a man. That guy looking for a well-written, lengthy, role-play might just be a woman. The "guy" with the storm trooper avatar and signature could be a woman. The woman looking for an abusive man to teach her the ropes might be a man.
Bluemoon is a website that asks very little of it's users: you follow the rules, and don't be an asshat. This is the place where you have the freedom to write almost anything you want and completely embrace the anonymity that the Internet affords you. There is no interview process, no gate to climb, and no asses to kiss. You join, you post, and you be a good boy or girl or whatever. We have to understand that that freedom will be exploited. There is no way to accurately determine, to gather statistics, on preferences of role-play via gender. The ten guys you just role-played with may have been a mix of both male and female and whatever else. The very topic of this thread is entirely flawed, because you don't know who you are actually role-playing with. It would be more accurate to ask: Which category of request thread gets you the most hits?
The categories are entirely arbitrary, from a standpoint of gender, and matter very little on BMR. As the descriptions read, it's more about whatever persona the person wishes to write as.
It's a common stigma that only men are super fans of things that are traditionally considered "nerdy". So, when we see someone with Star Wars, Star Trek, DnD, or some hardcore game in their avatar and signature; we are more or less conditioned by society to believe that they are male. Despite what statistics show us, most people will not encounter many women who are fans of traditionally male fandom. I rarely encounter a woman that has ANY interest in the original Mobile Suit Gundam. In fact, I can't recall ever running into one. Despite my personal experience, I know that there ARE women out there that enjoy it. Most people are unable to separate their personal experiences from the larger picture: just because we experience something, it doesn't mean it's truth. We rely on our intuition to tell us what occurs most often, and then act on it.
Our intuition will tell us that it is absolutely safe to go outside in most conditions. We have no reason to doubt this, because we can go outside, numerous times, every day, all year long, and nothing bad will happen to us. In this case our intuition is entirely correct, and is guiding us to do something relatively healthy and often necessary for survival. However, at the same time, if all we know are male Star Wars fans, our intuition will tell us that most Star Wars fans are male. Our experiences shape a picture in our mind that our brain will then peek at without us even knowing it. We rely on our intuition so much that we will sometimes blindly follow, and completely ignore the fact that we cannot possibly draw an accurate conclusion.
A person's complete trust in their own mind and intuition will lead them to believe that a ghost has done something in their house, despite having no good reason to think so. They trust that, because they cannot rationally think of any other cause, that the supernatural must be the answer. Their intuition, programmed by popular media and the tall-tales of others, tells us that it was a Ghost. Without even thinking some people will immediately attribute any odd occurrence to some supernatural means. So, is it so hard to think that people will assume that 501st is a man? Maybe 501st is, but that's nothing but a lucky guess founded on nothing but perceived (likely incorrectly) probability.
That being said, my threads tend to get very very few hits. I mostly role-play fandoms, and often the ones that aren't as commonly listed in the Female Requests. If I were to put my threads in the Female Requests, I suspect I would have more luck. What we have to realize is that the Internet is largely anonymous. We don't have any sure way of knowing if the people behind any one of these accounts is actually male or female. I can put any gender I please in my profile, or none at all. That female request made by the self-proclaimed lesbian, seeking hot pussy and no boys, might just be a man. That guy looking for a well-written, lengthy, role-play might just be a woman. The "guy" with the storm trooper avatar and signature could be a woman. The woman looking for an abusive man to teach her the ropes might be a man.
Bluemoon is a website that asks very little of it's users: you follow the rules, and don't be an asshat. This is the place where you have the freedom to write almost anything you want and completely embrace the anonymity that the Internet affords you. There is no interview process, no gate to climb, and no asses to kiss. You join, you post, and you be a good boy or girl or whatever. We have to understand that that freedom will be exploited. There is no way to accurately determine, to gather statistics, on preferences of role-play via gender. The ten guys you just role-played with may have been a mix of both male and female and whatever else. The very topic of this thread is entirely flawed, because you don't know who you are actually role-playing with. It would be more accurate to ask: Which category of request thread gets you the most hits?
The categories are entirely arbitrary, from a standpoint of gender, and matter very little on BMR. As the descriptions read, it's more about whatever persona the person wishes to write as.
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2012
Personally, from experience here and else where, I think the biggest issue is numbers. Tons of guys, many of which are eager to scoop up any plain jane or twisted idea that man a lady has come up with, not all, I know there are still some ladies who can't find their roles either. When you have so many who throw themselves at you to play your roles, I don't really see why they would opt to come looking to play your ideas. Again, this is merely supply and demand as stated earlier. Not to mention, might just be some ladies would be happy to do the kind of role you want, if they weren't doing something similar for 5 other people. Lol. I try not to take offense or worry that much. When a good partner comes along, do what you can to keep them, enjoy it while it lasts. It can be a long wait before another.
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2012
Oh yeah, and don't be afraid to go out and ask. I know sometimes I sit and wait, hoping someone will come to me looking to play my role. Sometimes, you just have to go and search through the female threads. Find someone, message them. Worst thing that can happen is that they don't surprise, frustrating and feels a little rude, but then you move on. Just keep trying and don't wait for them to come to you.
Christian_Day
Patron Saint of Rape
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2009
Daltin said:
One more thing to add....don't be afraid to cast a wide net. There are other places to play, so look at them all.
Why get rejected once, when you can get rejected multiple times????
My request thread for female roles is buried on page 50 or something. It has a bright red "STATUS: OFF" at the top indicating that I am occupied with RPs at the moment. It has been buried for over a year now, yet I still get requests every so often.
My request thread for male roles doesn't say I'm busy. Granted, it is also less pretty compared to my female roles one because that one has graphics and cool shit. I might get a request when it is in the front page, but nothing when it gets buried. Nothing. Keeping in mind that I bump that one much, much more. In fact, I have had my request thread for female roles for years but I've only bumped it a handful of times.
Of course there are other lurking variables. Most of my female RPs are in threads while my male RPs are via private messages (completely by chance). I've learned that having public RPs is a good way to advertise yourself so that could be one thing. Though generally, from my experience, I can attest that females have an easier job finding an RP than males.
My request thread for male roles doesn't say I'm busy. Granted, it is also less pretty compared to my female roles one because that one has graphics and cool shit. I might get a request when it is in the front page, but nothing when it gets buried. Nothing. Keeping in mind that I bump that one much, much more. In fact, I have had my request thread for female roles for years but I've only bumped it a handful of times.
Of course there are other lurking variables. Most of my female RPs are in threads while my male RPs are via private messages (completely by chance). I've learned that having public RPs is a good way to advertise yourself so that could be one thing. Though generally, from my experience, I can attest that females have an easier job finding an RP than males.
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2012
- Location
- Australia
As a generalisation, I believe males are more likely to make the first approach (including un-welcomed and unsolicited ones), so the law of averages means female request threads would receive a lot more attention, but that doesn't necessarily lead to it being easier to find quality roleplays or partners.
I struggle, and put that down to what I ask for, the way I ask for it, and the fact that I very rarely approach others. The reason for the latter is that I won't message anyone else unless I'm certain that their preferences, particularly in regards to the types of characters they portray, meet mine (which is rare), and personally believe it disrespectful to approach someone firstly with what I want rather than with how I fit with what they're looking for, or to initially request something other than what they've explicitly mentioned they're after/write. That means I usually wait for people to come to me based on my threads, and those people are few and far between.
On the flip side, many of my female collaborators, who are deluged with offers, often express frustration with the quality of the approaches they receive, and experience the same difficulties in finding compatible partners as I do, so it's not just a numbers game. In the end, I think a lot of it boils down to what is requested - how popular/common/trendy it is, amongst other factors - rather than who it is doing the requesting. However, and this is a personal opinion, I do also believe that males are more likely to pander/give in/compromise on their own preferences just to get a story going, which, in turn, does allow females more leeway to pick-and-choose.
I struggle, and put that down to what I ask for, the way I ask for it, and the fact that I very rarely approach others. The reason for the latter is that I won't message anyone else unless I'm certain that their preferences, particularly in regards to the types of characters they portray, meet mine (which is rare), and personally believe it disrespectful to approach someone firstly with what I want rather than with how I fit with what they're looking for, or to initially request something other than what they've explicitly mentioned they're after/write. That means I usually wait for people to come to me based on my threads, and those people are few and far between.
On the flip side, many of my female collaborators, who are deluged with offers, often express frustration with the quality of the approaches they receive, and experience the same difficulties in finding compatible partners as I do, so it's not just a numbers game. In the end, I think a lot of it boils down to what is requested - how popular/common/trendy it is, amongst other factors - rather than who it is doing the requesting. However, and this is a personal opinion, I do also believe that males are more likely to pander/give in/compromise on their own preferences just to get a story going, which, in turn, does allow females more leeway to pick-and-choose.