Aeon, I don't know you personally so I can't tell exactly what you're going through but I can tell that you want to get over this.
I often look back on my stupid mistakes and embarrassing situations that I've been in. My brain typically exaggerates these things and leads me to dislike myself. To get over that, I remember that people won't judge me based on one or two situations like that. As long as you're in someone's life, they like you. They can and will overlook your drawbacks and focus on your positives. We are actually the only ones sensitive to our flows; others typically ignore them. So I'm sure not a great many people dislike you as you believe. That's just your brain being extra critical which is a nice thing if you can channel it elsewhere.
I encourage you to go out in a walk, enjoy the weather and try and talk to random people you've never interacted with. Maybe you see them around in your area but had never heard their voice before. Be natural, and I'm sure you'll appreciate how much of a nice person you are and how people are friendly and forgiving. You'll like life again if you make this a habit,
and you'll learn to control your emotions. Meet new friends, learn new hobbies, and so forth. It will also help if you start remembering moments in your life that you're proud of or that make you feel happy and peaceful.
If things get worse and escalate, please consider seeing a therapist. I'm no expert on these things, that was just my two cents.
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