I Was Lost Without You [Mass Effect] (Javorcek X Erebus)

[Javorcek]

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“Commander!” Joker shouted as another attack violently shook the remains of the SSV Normandy.

What had started out as a routine patrol mission had turned out to be anything but. Shepard's crew had encountered an unidentified hostile ship only an hour after reaching the edge of Council space. The enemy ship was too powerful, their main laser had sliced through the Normandy's shields and reinforced hull in a matter minutes. Now, there was nothing left to do but evacuate and hope that giant gun lacked the finesse required to hit tiny escape pods.

Unfortunately, for Commander Jane Shepard, honor and duty bound her to make sure that even the most stubborn of her soldiers got their asses off of this sinking ship. After leaving Liara to help the rest of the crew into the pods, Shepard had gone to rescue the ship's pilot from the shredded cockpit. She had managed to haul Joker out of his seat, down the hall, and into one of the pods before another attack sent Shepard reeling backwards. She flew across the aisle and managed to grab onto the wall before she was sucked out into the vacuum of space. Little good those reflexes were going to do her now, the enemy ship's laser was cutting a path between her and Joker, she would never make it across.

The decision was automatic. With one final look towards Joker, Jane hit the 'Deploy' button.

“Shepard!!!” The voice was higher this time, feminine...and when Shepard looked towards the escape pod, she could have sworn that she saw Liara there instead of Joker.

Metal shrieked and groaned as it was cut away, the laser hit the ship's oxygen line and exploded, sending Jane flying backwards and into space without anything to hold onto. For a brief, shining moment she that that maybe she would be alright. Her suit had enough oxygen for two hours, as long as she remained calm, she could survive out here until a shuttle picked her up...at least that was her hope before her suit's HUD suddenly flashed with red lights and warnings to notify her that a piece of shrapnel had punctured her armor. Sephard began to flail, desperately trying to locate the leak. It was foolish, she knew that she was done for; a hand over a hole that was rapidly leaking oxygen into space wasn't going to do shit to save her.

“Huuuuh!” With a sharp intake of air, Jane was awake. She snapped up into a sitting position, the movement activating the sensors in her cabin and bringing on the lights. She drew her legs to her chest as she heaved and gulped down air, the memory of asphyxiation had been far too vivid...hell, the entire memory of the Normandy going down was.

“Shepard.” EDI's voice chimed over the intercom, providing a welcome distraction from the panting Commander. “I have detected irregular breathing patterns and an elevated heart rate coming from your cabin. Would you like me to notify Dr. Chakwas for assistance?”

“What?” Still breathing hard, Shepard wiped the sweat from her brow and tried to force herself to calm down. Just a dream...just a dream... “No, I'm fine, EDI. There's no reason to wake up Chakwas over a nightmare.”

“If you are having nightmares and experiencing the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder, I can schedule an appointment with Yeoman Chambers for counseling.”

“No, thank you. I would just like to be left alone for a bit.” Shepard said as she swung her legs over the side of her bed.

“Logging you out, Shepard.”

With her pajamas drenched in sweat and her sheets absolutely soaked, Shepard knew that she wasn't going to be getting much more sleep tonight. How could she anyways? In a few hours they would be on Illium, searching for a Drell named Thane Krios...and while that assignment itself didn't seem to warrant such stress and excitement from the seasoned Commander, the fact that they were getting information about that Drell from her old lover, Liara, sent Jane hurtling towards a nervous breakdown. Feelings weren't easy for a woman like her, and Shepard still harbored an intense love for the Asari maiden...unfortunately, she was almost certain that those feelings wouldn't be reciprocated. Liara believed her to be dead, she had had two years to grieve and move on. Liara's probably over me by now... She probably is seeing someone else... That last thought had kept Shepard from contacting her old flame. Liara had had two years for their love to fizzle out and die with...but for Shepard, it only felt like a few months since they had been separated.

 

[Erebus]

People say that to an asari, a single year was little more than a drop of water in their otherwise vast pool of life and in most instances, they would be correct. To Liara T’Soni, the fact was untrue. She could hardly describe her feelings over the course of two years, after delivering her love’s corpse to whom she once considered one of their first and foremost enemies. Two years spent agonizing and finally coming to terms with her mistakes and sorrow, for once recognizing just what it meant to be a human as she threw herself into her work as an information broker on Nos Astra. While the Shadowbroker had caused her much grief in her short lifetime, it also gave her a reason to be distracted, to shut off emotionally and focus entirely on the task at hand.

People say that Liara had changed, and in most instances, they would be correct.

“Ma’am,” The timid voice of Nyxeris broke Liara from her musings of the past, a distraction she welcomed as she turned to face her assistant. “Careena claims that the Normandy has entered the system and will be docking in a matter of hours.” The mere mention of the ship’s name made Liara stiffen slightly, even if she was already aware of the fact. Perhaps not as powerful as the Shadowbroker, Liara had her connections elsewhere though the sources were lackluster at best. Some claimed that the Normandy had a new commander at the helm, others spoke of old times. She dared to hope but after two years of it, she could never quite believe it until she was proven otherwise.

Commander Jane Shepard. A name that evoked a myriad of feelings within the young asari, Shepard had been her first love, her first meld, the first human she’d ever connected with. Shepard had been there for her when her mother had perished, through thick and thin. It was a connection that was hard to forget and break. She wondered if they met now, with the years between them, would Shepard even remember her. Maybe Cerberus had done something to her, wiped her memories or made her into one of their mindless drones.

Now to hear that the Normandy would be docking on Illium along with the rumors that her commander might still be alive… it was a coincidence she could hardly ignore. She set herself to work, letting her assistant know that she was free to return home but she would not be leaving the office tonight. Nyxeris simply bowed and left, unperturbed by the fact that Liara hadn’t replied given the subject at hand. She spent the remainder of her time going through various datalogs, slipping herself into sensitive information and pouring over holos regarding Jane Shepard and rumors that she was working with the enemy out of her own free-will.

That part took her by surprise. It wasn’t like Shepard to do that. The Shepard she knew would jump through burning loops if it meant sticking to her guns. But, Liara had to remind herself, the Shepard she knew was the Shepard from two years ago. She had to be prepared for their encounter to play out differently in reality as opposed to her mind. Her influence couldn’t span far enough to predict just what might happen, after all. Things were happening all too quickly and all too fast, her usually tidy emotions thrown into disarray as the possibility, the rumors and everything. The only thing left to do was to see her with her own eyes to believe it.

Liara contacted the concierge over her omni-tool, “Careena? Yes, I’d like you to greet the Normandy and its crew upon their arrival. If Commander Shepard is there, please let her know that I’d like to speak with her.” She tried to maintain a professional air about her, keeping her voice calm and collected as Careena confirmed she could do as much. Not many knew of her relationship with Shepard and she kept the fact private and close to her heart. The few that were privy to the knowledge were people she could trust.

Knowing that sleep would be an impossibility, Liara decided to drown herself in work yet again, following up on a late payment would be a good place to start…

 

[Javorcek]

Christ, Jane, you’re 31! Stop acting like a terrified teenager! The Commander tried to give herself a little bit of a pep talk in the mirror of her cabin but it wasn’t working; for every reason she had to be hopeful and confident, there were many more as to why she should not. Now she was panicking like a teenage girl, unsure of what to wear or how to do her hair, when it didn’t matter what the hell she wore because she’d be wearing her armor over it. Maybe I should just send Miranda with some credits…seems like a job she’d be good at anyways.

Shepard sighed as she surveyed herself in the mirror one last time to make sure that she looked presentable. Other than the new set of scars that the Commander had received, Cerberus had kept Shepard looking exactly the same as she had two years ago, even down to the shoulder length red hair (well not really shoulder length, just a touch shorter so that it didn’t touch her shoulders, as per Alliance regs). So hopefully the only thing that would shellshock Liara was the fact that her girlfriend was coming back from the dead. Maybe the Asari would find comfort in the fact that Jane looked the same, maybe that would be enough for her old lover to give her a chance…provided that she was still single.

Upon leaving the ship, the Commander and her crew were greeted by an Asari who informed them that Liara was expecting them. The human gulped, growing even more nervous now that it felt like she wouldn’t have any opportunity to procrastinate. She had planned on going through Illium, maybe explore a little and see if there was a bar somewhere so that she could get herself a little liquid courage…but now it seemed as though they would have to go straight to Liara’s office.

Man, she must pay a fortune to keep an office here… Shepard thought to herself as she looked around, her lover’s office appeared to be fairly close to the main strip, Liara must be doing very well for herself. Well, she is a very smart woman… Jane smiled a bit to herself; one of the things that had attracted her to Liara was the Asari’s curiosity and her eagerness to learn anything and everything she could.

The Commander blinked in surprise as Liara’s assistant let them into her boss’ office and she caught the Asari maiden in the middle of a holo-call, well, holo-threat really. The shy archaeologist who she had fallen in love with was now a big bad intelligence broker. It made Jane’s heart tighten, the fear that Liara had had two years to grow and change into an entirely different person was finally sinking it. The maiden even looked different, thinner now, perhaps a little more muscular? It was hard to tell in that dress…that dress that made her look even more mouthwatering than her old uniform ever did.

As Liara turned around to face her, Shepard caught a glimpse of the woman she had once known: a blushing young Asari maiden who was embarrassed at something she had said. The corners of the Commander’s lips quirked into a smile and before she could think about what she was doing, she had taken three steps forward and had reached out to place an armored hand onto Liara’s hip. Jane drew Liara into a kiss, trying to keep it slow and sweet even though she had months of pent up emotions that she wanted to flood their liplock with. But the Commander had always been surprisingly gentle with Liara, having known that the maiden had been a virgin before her, Jane had always gone slow so that her lover had plenty of time to stop the more experienced human.

 

[Erebus]

"... with my mind." Liara added casually to the frantic, scowling holo in front of her right before her client's holo flickered away. The satisfaction of success was short-lived as Nyxeris walked through, accompanied by a face she'd only dare to dream of. Her first thought was not that Shepard was well and alive, but that her old lover had experienced first hand just how different Liara was, how she felt. She exuded confidence and covered well her ever perpetual awkwardness. Yet the familiar, comforting face of the redhead turned her almost into the blushing maiden she'd been years ago. "Shepard!" She called out, wanting to explain herself before the redhead came to her own brash conclusions.

"Nyxeris, hold my calls." This was one moment she didn't want interrupted but before she could speak directly to the commander, a strong hand gripped her hips and she was pulled into a chaste kiss though Liara was well-aware of the boiling urge just beneath. It was only then did the asari truly believe that Shepard was back; by the warmth lingering on her blue lips when the commander parted away, the light tinge on her cheeks and the tip of her nose; the shiver that ran down her spine. She would have extended the kiss too, had it not prompted years of repressed feelings to come crashing down.

Liara pulled away wordlessly, glancing to the side with pursed lips before retreating from the redhead's presence. She didn't know what she expected. Shepard alive was one thing, but to act as if they hadn't spent the past two years apart... Liara couldn't even begin to comprehend it. She relied on her keen sense of logic and common sense to get by, and something was telling her that things were not as they seemed. Shepard looked the same and sounded the same, but the asari simply couldn't pretend. Not when she'd gone through so much anguish and pain to forget. But she would never allow the turmoil to reach her face, her visage remaining cool apart from the slight hitch in emotion previously.

She didn't know what to say. Not when it was clear that she had a thousand questions for her lover. She didn't want to breach the awkward conversation of Shepard's movements. "My sources said you were alive," Liara said quickly instead, feigning surprise. "It's... very good to see you." It was the truth, but there was still some trepidation there. For all she knew, Shepard could be a completely different person, tended to by Cerberus; which was, she reminded herself, was her fault to an extent. She practiced caution as a successful information broker was wont to do, responding to the commander. She spoke of her current job on Ilium, carefully avoiding the topic of Shepard's miraculous resurrection, so to speak.

"... and now you're back," Liara said flatly, her voice retaining the smooth, husky tones though there was a definite note of disapproval there as she seated herself back behind her desk. "Gunning for the Collectors with Cerberus."