Ben Robertson
Super-Earth
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2015
We're almost there, I think to myself as I pull off the highway, hands gripping the wheel of my new '62 Buick Special, good thing...I feel lousy. Though I haven't wanted to let it on to my wife, sitting in the passenger seat next to me, it's been a hard trip that seemed much longer than the now-familiar three hours we've actually been on the road.
I don't want to let on that I feel terrible - it's only been a week but I'm already in desperate need of my next treatment - because I know how much she worries. The pain started yesterday, in my bones, but I've been gritting my teeth and trying to keep up appearances on our drive together.
I'm also anxious, and I don't want to let that on either. Anxious for my treatment: though it will help take the pain away, that simple glass of milk they have me drink at the clinic is chcok full of medication, and has been making me feel more and more nauseous these days. After last week's dose I couldn't get back in the car for several hours. I'm glad I have Milly with me today; I may have to ask her to drive home, especially if it's even worse this week.
I'm also anxious about so many other things. I mentioned this is a new car, and it comes with big payments. How am I going to pay it off if I can't work? When I first got sick, when the pain started but they didn't know what to do, there were weeks and weeks where I just couldn't work. And now that I'm on treatments - though I'm still been able to make it into the office most days - I still need to take these increasingly frequent days off to get to the clinic, which is an all-day affair. The agency has been good to me so far - I've been with them for years - but how long will their patience last?
And also, I think to myself, as I pull into the parking garage right down the street from the clinic, flexing my tight fingers over the wheel - am I ever going to get that inch-and-a-half back?
I don't want to let on that I feel terrible - it's only been a week but I'm already in desperate need of my next treatment - because I know how much she worries. The pain started yesterday, in my bones, but I've been gritting my teeth and trying to keep up appearances on our drive together.
I'm also anxious, and I don't want to let that on either. Anxious for my treatment: though it will help take the pain away, that simple glass of milk they have me drink at the clinic is chcok full of medication, and has been making me feel more and more nauseous these days. After last week's dose I couldn't get back in the car for several hours. I'm glad I have Milly with me today; I may have to ask her to drive home, especially if it's even worse this week.
I'm also anxious about so many other things. I mentioned this is a new car, and it comes with big payments. How am I going to pay it off if I can't work? When I first got sick, when the pain started but they didn't know what to do, there were weeks and weeks where I just couldn't work. And now that I'm on treatments - though I'm still been able to make it into the office most days - I still need to take these increasingly frequent days off to get to the clinic, which is an all-day affair. The agency has been good to me so far - I've been with them for years - but how long will their patience last?
And also, I think to myself, as I pull into the parking garage right down the street from the clinic, flexing my tight fingers over the wheel - am I ever going to get that inch-and-a-half back?