Starting Over (Kenny N Gamera & AndNich123)

[Kenny N Gamera]

Starting Over

That’s what they call it. It doesn’t sound painful, but we all know it is. Why else would so many people stay in dead end relationships, dead end careers, and dead end lives? No one wants to jump off the cliff a second time. We all fear it and run from the edge with all our might down paths that lead nowhere. No one wants to call a failed life a failure until it must be.

If even then.

He questioned coming back to school. He was too old for this. The first time, he was the only student he had known that had a computer until his last year of grad school. And he was on his second one. Now, fifth graders carried the damn things in their back pockets. Hell, the afternoon crowd around him weren’t born yet when he last sat in a class room. He wanted to pound his head on the bar top, until he could find the courage to go to the registrar’s office, get his money back, go home, and see if the corporate overlords would reopen the store for him.

He wouldn’t. He had made the jump, and he must see it to the water below, be it a deep pool or rocks just below the surface. He couldn’t just bungee back to the cliff; he had class in a half-hour. God, he prayed, let it be deep water.

The bar was not full, just a small lunch rush he guessed. Older students, it appeared from their well worn university tee-shirts. It might be a good place to do lunch, when he had settled his nerves. He finished his beer in a couple quick gulps and dropped a few bucks on the bar top for the sweetheart who had poured it for him. He wanted to get there early to find a place to hide. A nice corner seat near a door would do.

 

[AndNich123]

Madison Albright stuffed her belongings inside the plain, green bag. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it did the job she needed it to do. Her heart was racing, and she couldn’t get rid of the lump in her throat. To say she was nervous was an understatement. She wasn’t any older than the other students. Madison just didn’t blend well. It wasn’t her looks. She was every bit as pretty as any other girl on the campus. Money had nothing to do with it either. Though she wasn’t rich, she didn’t need for anything either. In her modest jeans and tee shirt, she was as average as anyone else that would be traversing the large campus in an effort to make it on time to their next class.

‘Time,’ she thought looking at her watch. That was something she was running out of. She lifted her cup to her lips and finished off her drink before throwing some money on the table with her bill. Standing she threw the bag over her shoulder and headed out of the small café. Across the street was a local bar. ‘Next year,’ she thought. ‘When I’m 21, I’ll be there.’ For now the café served as a quiet place for her to spend what free time she managed.

Madison worked at a local restaurant. No she wasn’t the overdresses hostess who took you to your table. She wasn’t even the girls who ran about with their little aprons on making sure each customer had everything they needed. Madison was behind the scenes, hidden by the walls and surrounded by the heat, steam, and commotion of the kitchen. She wasn’t in charge of the kitchen, by any means. Cooking was something she enjoyed, but at this point in her life, it was a means to an end. It paid well. The job afforded her the money to pay for her used car and small apartment. Campus life wasn’t completely for her. So Madison found her own way. Now it was time to keep finding her way as the new year of school had started.

She crossed the street when the light was red and was at the corner near the bar. Several older students lined the bar. She took notice as the door to the bar opened, but Madison didn’t slow down. Her pace was quick, and her steps were light as she headed towards the campus. A new year, a new day, was dawning. It was time to make an impression. Being early would certainly be a good way to do that.

 

[Kenny N Gamera]

Standing up, he opened his organizer up one more time to verify the printed schedule. As if he hadn’t reviewed it when he got up in the morning. As if he hadn’t spent yesterday finding where every building was and where each lecture hall and classroom was in each.

“You’re a being a fool, Kevin Michaels,” he told himself out loud, but just barely so. “You’ve done this before.”

His inner, silent voice reminded him that he always did this with something new as he made his way to the door. Just relax, it added as he reached He pushed at it with mor force than necessary, swinging it open. It almost hit a young lady walking by. He started to make an apology, but she was gone before he could start.

Having caught his attention, she held it. There was something about her, and he was glad that she was heading his way. He wanted a chance to figure out what it was. She didn’t appear any different that any of the young women he had worked for him at the Buy More or even the students around him. She certainly moved like she meant business.

Everyone else on the sidewalk was heading towards campus, as well; it took him a moment to start moving himself. He picked up his pace as best as the traffic would allow. It was maybe a little greater rate of movement than needed, but still less than the speed he used at the store.

Maybe that was what he had noticed. She moved with purpose like he had used back then. That was a rare commodity at any age, and one he could respect.

The crowd dispersed when they reached campus as the individuals within it spread out to their own destinations. His was close to the entrance. He looked at his watch. He had made good time. Class wouldn’t be starting for awhile.

And the lecture hall had another class.

He backed out the door and let it close as quietly as he could. He looked at the watch again. He hadn’t thought that it would be occupied. Nor had he thought to scout out a place to get a cup of coffee or something to fill time.

The woman he had almost hit with the door was also waiting in the hall. She was the only one besides some really young students who would be as clueless as he was. He went over to her.

“Excuse me, I’m new here and my class doesn’t start for another twenty minutes. Is there someplace near here where I can get some coffee.”･

 

[AndNich123]

She was sure the ground under her feet was the only secure thing around her. Madison had no idea just confident her stride appeared to be, though she was aware looks could be deceiving. All morning she had been reminding herself there was no need to be nervous. This was her second year there. She knew the campus and most of the professors. Being anxious seemed pointless. It was pointless. Still it drew a smile on her lips to know she could still feel these butterflies despite her sound reasoning.

She tried to pull away from the crowd of students all heading towards the same goal. Once they arrived at the campus, they began to branch off towards their separate destinations. Madison was aware of footsteps following hers’, but it wasn’t anything that drew her attention away. In her mind, she was still going over schedules and routes. That’s what life was at its purest, simplest form. Schedules and routines. Without them, daily life falls apart. As much as we would like to think we’re creatures who go against the grain, even that in and of itself is almost a schedule. We do the things we do to keep on track with being one who is rebellious. It’s something we can’t escape from. She shook her head, trying to brush the thoughts away. ‘Clear head Madison. You’re gonna need it for your next class.’

She rested against the wall, opening up her notebook where she had taped her schedule to the front cover. Her eyes took in the black type reminding her of where she had to be, at what time, for what, and who would be instructing her. ‘This class load is gonna kill me this year. This, plus my job, plus finding a roommate? How am I ever gonna…..” Her train of thoughts was derailed as the voice spoke to her. Looking up, she recognized him right away. She smiled closing her notebook. “Was it an implement you were using to unleash some pent up rage? Perhaps I remind you of someone, and you were lashing out. Then again sometimes a door is just a door, and a man in a hurry is just a man in a hurry,” she teased. “Philosophy. You’ll forgive me. The class is still on my mind. The quad has a place you can buy some coffee. Follow me. I’ll show you.”

She turned, glancing over to make sure she didn’t lose him. “The coffee isn’t great, but it’s cheap and on campus. Two things you’ll grow to love here. Although that bar you were at is where most people go to hang out on the weekends. It’s packed. I don’t go, but I’ve seen them all piling out of there, barely able to walk or talk. It’s rather funny actually.”

Once they passed from the doors at the end of the long hall, the opened area was filled with various students. Some were on benches, seated at tables, and even reclining on the green grass. There was more than one cart set up. “That one sells tacos. Over there you have sandwiches, and over there ice cream. Trust me. The sugar rush will come in handy too, and over here we have coffee and bagels.” She heads right up to the gentlemen at the cart. “Two please,” she tells him. He smiles and nods. “Creamer and sugar is right here,” she gestures. “Thanks.” Madison hands him a couple of bills. “Keep the change. This one,” she begins, handing him his cup, “is on me as long as you promise next time to try and not hit me with the door.”

 

[Kenny N Gamera]

Kevin’s face burned red, deservedly so. He should have chased her down to apologize, right then. Fortunately, she didn’t appear upset about his near accident. Or at least as much as she could be. In a way, that made it worst.

“Sorry about that. My mind was somewhere else, and I wasn’t expecting the door to swing like that.” He took the coffee from her. He sipped it, not quite gas station coffee, but it was close enough. “I promise you that I usually don’t go around clobbering people with doors. So it would never happen again even if you hadn’t bought me a cup of coffee. If anything, I should be buying your coffee.”

He took another sip and took an opportunity to catch another look at her over the cup as he did. It would be a waste of time to insist on paying her back. His first impression was correct; she was a confident young woman.

Pretty, too.

He wished that he was younger. He was starting over, but not in the same place he had been when he was first in college. He was older and supposedly wiser than he was then. They may be taking classes, but it stretched imagination that he would be hanging out with her or anyone her age. Especially, on party night.

“I hope,” he said lowering his cup again, “you don’t think I would be at a place like that at night. I’m more of a stay home and read sort of guy. Though, I imagine that I’ll be doing homework instead now.”

He chuckled and added, “Besides, I think that I’d be a lot out of place.”

He glanced back at his watch. He was having a nice time being with this young lady, whose name, he realized, he didn’t know. He wanted to stay and enjoy her company, but they both, however, had classes to be at. Still, while he couldn’t see them sharing jello shots at some night spot, there was maybe a chance he could see her again doing something more adult.

“We both need to head back if we’re going to get a seat.” He held out his hand. “By the way, my name is Kevin, and by my count, I owe you two cups of coffee. Maybe you can tell me some more philosophy. In the mean time, may I escort you to class.”

 

[AndNich123]

“Oh no,” she told him, lowering her cup from her lips. “I don’t assume anything about anyone. I let each person tell their own story. It’s not fair to them for me to assume anything. I try to be open minded. Personally I can’t wait until I’m 21. I have a feeling places like that aren’t all they’re cracked up to be though. All hype. Besides, if you have to be that drunk to have a good time, then maybe you’re doing it wrong.” She lifted her cup to her lips once more, taking in the warmth the coffee offered. “For right now, I’m a stay at home, work and do homework kind of girl myself. Not much room or time for anything else. The bills don’t pay themselves, and the homework doesn’t get done on it’s own. Sometimes I wished they both did though. Often actually,” she laughed.

He had offered his hand along with a name, and she didn’t want to be rude. It wasn’t who she was. “Madison Albright,” she told him taking his hand. “And you’re right. We do need to head back if we want a seat. I hear the professor is attractive. The girls will all want to sit up close, and I actually want a seat close as well. I want to drink in every word he’s going to say.”

She took his hand and slowly headed back towards the lecture hall. “So what do you do for fun on those stay at home nights? Movies? Books?” She continued to nurse the cup of coffee, wanting to be done with it by the time they reached the classroom. “I work at a local diner here. I could show you. It’s a great place to just sit, eat, do work. I take advantage of my breaks there to do just that. Who knows? Maybe we could be study buddies. I must warn you though. I take my classes seriously. This isn’t a game to me. I’m not one of those air head campus bunnies only looking to get laid and drunk. This means a lot to me. So if we study together, I just….thought you should know.” She looked away from him, afraid she had scared him. “I don’t mean to come across so strong. It’s just that….like I said, this means a lot to me. I hope I didn’t scare you away.”

They stop outside the room, and she finishes off her coffee. The door swings open, and a slew of chattering students pour from the classroom. The smell of books and paper mingled with a staleness that could only come from a classroom that still had no aired out from being shut up all summer flowed with them. Madison turned away from the opened door and the onslaught that came with it. “It was nice to meet you Kevin. I hope we can work together or at least chat again sometime. You let me know if you want to take me up on the offer to show you the diner. I’m there pretty much all the time,” she smiled.

 

[Kenny N Gamera]

Kevin didn’t intend for them to go hand in hand, but he didn’t protest; it felt good.

“Well as far as my nights, I’m definitely a trashy sci-fi novel type though I have a collection of trashy movies I watch too.”

He decided to make the confession and come clean as embrassing as it felt. If he waited it would seen like he was keeping secrets. While it might just be a bit of wild imagination, he felt that it would be a bad thing if he pretended to be someone he wasn’t. Or even if it just looked he was.

“I’m unemployed myself. I used to manage one of those big box electronics places, but they closed it because of the downturn. I got a big payout, though, and I had some saved up, too. So I’m comfortable for awhile.” He sighed. “And maybe they did me a favor. I needed out, and I wasn’t doing anything about it.

“So here I am trying to become a teacher. I understand wanting to take classes seriously. In fact, I probably should insist if I’m going to be any kind of teacher at all. Though, I do wish there was such a thing as self completing homework.”

The thought that anyone would be scared off by her seemed silly. He may be confused and maybe a little refreshed; she didn’t play games. One knew where he stood with her more than most women of any age. Besides, he found himself really liking her. The only danger lay in a course of over thinking.

Just ignore, he told himself, the comment about the professor. That is not a hint. Neither is wanting a study partner. Just concentrate on making a friend.

“I would be happy to be your study partner, and I did say that I owed you coffee. That means we at least have a coffee date. And I probably will need help getting back in the grind. This means a lot to me, too. So just tell me where to be and when to get there, Madison, and I’ll show up. I’ll even shower first.”

After the tide swept pass, they went into the lecture hall.

“This is where we part ways. I know you want to sit close, but I’m going to hide in the back. I’m feeling self-conscious. And like I said, let me know the name of your diner and we can meet for coffee and compare note.”

 

[AndNich123]

Madison smiled. “Of course,” was all she managed before they separated. She took her seat, a smile on her face, as she nodded to the professor. Certainly being there so early was going to make an impression on him. Good. She wanted to. She wanted to let him know that she took his class seriously, and that as a student, she was going to be a force to be reckoned with inside his classroom. He would have to challenge her, push her, but he would find she was up for anything he could throw at her. Madison liked challenges. It proved she had heart and spirt. Anyone could sit and watch life pass by. To her, it took someone with real courage to be a part of it, to experience it, feel it, and of course, challenge it. Even her new friend was someone that was challenging it. Here he was starting over. As scary as all of it was for her, she couldn’t imagine what he must be feeling. Looking over her shoulder at him, she tried not to let him see her gaze. ‘He seems nice enough. I can’t imagine starting over at his age. Age,’ she shrugged turning to look forward once more. ‘It’s just a number, a state of mind. When we begin to let age dictate our lives, we put ourselves inside a box. I’m not willing to do that. He’s not a number, his age. He’s a man, and he wants to study, to suceed. That’s all I’m looking for in a study buddy. Besides, he does owe me coffee.’

It was beginning to fill up as more students made their way inside now. Giggling girls with nothing more than aspirations of being in the professor’s bed made their way close to her to sit and oogle him with the doe eyes. Madison rolled hers’, only to realize he had seen the gesture. It must have amused him. He laughed. She blushed hoping she had not already tarnished her reputation before the class have even started. ‘Crap.’

The door closed as the clock chimed out in his room. “That is a sound you will begin to love or hate, depending on what type of student you are,” he addressed them. ‘Great. He’s got a sense of humor. Good.’ As he began telling them about what would be expected of them in his class and handing out information to them, it became clear she would need a study buddy. Madison took out a pencil and scribbled a note down. Folding the paper in half, she turned the guy behind her. “Could you pass this to him,” she asked pointing to Kevin. The guy nodded and reached for the paper. “Passing notes? I thought we left that sort of behavior behind in high school Ms…..”
“Albright Sir. Madison Albright.”
“Well, Ms. Albright, I guess I’ll have to resort back to what a high school teacher would do in this case.” He made his way over and took the note from her. Opening it read it aloud. “Joe’s House of Pizza. I’ll be there until 10pm tonight. I take my break at 7pm though. If you’d like to have that coffee and discuss the class, meet me then. I think I’ll need the help. This class sounds like it’s going to be….really tough. Well,” he said closing the paper and handing it back to her. “Joe’s House of Pizza is really good. I’m partial to the Pepperoni myself. Extra cheese.” The class laughs. “But you’re right. This class is going to be really tough, and to the person this note was intended for, sounds like you’ve got a study buddy and maybe a date. Depends on how you want to look at it I suppose. Now, back to the information you all need.” Madison’s face burned bright red. As he moved away from her, she waited until his attention was elsewhere before turning around and looking at Kevin. “Sorry,” she mouth.