Guilt trip or just emotional attachment?

[The Smilodon Fatalis]

I'm not sure if others face this problem as much, but I seem to have a very challenging time saying no to an individual who has come up to me and ask to roleplay. Even though we have only shared a few messages I feel the pain in saying no to them. Sadness and Emptiness literally hits my heart. I hate being a picky writer because by the time I realize that as two individual role-players we won't work out so well for each other, It normally ends up me being the one who has to say no. I'm not good at saying no to begin with, but this is a very uncomfortable position to be in, personally. Maybe it's because I empathize with the person across the computer since I know what it's like to open a PM where someone tells you that they believe that their writing skills are not adequate enough for me. I mean, I was a novice at one point and I had to learn how to write with creativity and passion all the while learning to hone on my mistakes and learn to improve on every aspect. & I'm positive that would have never happened, had it not been for others who took me under their wings and teach me the ropes of this world.

As all of this plays out in my head It reminds me of the song Mad World.

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Az2BvTcshg[/video]

 

[Trygon]

You're a doormat. You need to practice not being a doormat. For starters, realize that as the only person with a tap into your mind, it's your responsibility to speak up for this person. Nobody else can do it for you, and anyone who tries will likely just make a mess. Don't worry about how they feel - I promise, they'll live.

And then you relate it all to the Nihilist's Anthem? Buddy, it's JUST A PM ON A WEBSITE.

 

[The Wolven Lord]

Once you have discovered the joys of saying No and meaning it, you will have greater control over your destiny

 

[Rudolph Quin]

You can't control how other people feel or react. Only they can do that. You need to do the best you can do for you with consideration for them and then the rest is up to them.

Buck up. Like a bandaid, champ.

 

[The Smilodon Fatalis]

First of all, I would like to say Thank you to everyone (that posted) for their advice. Even though I don't know any of you, you all seem to reply and acknowledge me as a friend of yours which is a nice feeling. Bluemoon has a much better atmosphere than any other roleplay site I have experienced, where no one openly communicated like this.

Trygon was blunt but he truly hit the nail on the coffin, I'm a doormat. I've been a doormat my whole life. Partly, is simply my fault for attempting to be nice, but I really have been a doormat to everyone in my life. My parents, my family, my friends, my girlfriends (referring to past relationships) and even my boss. I've been a doormat for too long, and it stops today! After reading this from last night, first thing I did today, handed in my 2 weeks notice to my boss! Got a new job starting in 3 weeks.

What is the alternative? You end up doing a crummy roleplay that neither one of you is interested in? I can see it ending now, you getting a reply saying "Thanks, but that is not what I am looking for."

Not so empathetic now. End it with a polite decline and move on. You are doing them a favor.

The alternative was to possibly roleplay at least a few starting posts to see how they would respond. I'm certainly not satisfied with just one paragraph anymore, so my partner would either have to learn to adapt to my writing. It still is tempting to try because the plot has been a craving of mine over the last 2-3 months. And I kid you not, less than a year ago my average posts were the size of my first post, until a few people asked me to attempt something new, and well, you can guess the rest.

Anyhow, I warned this person that I prefer to write 6+ paragraphs and will only offer to do 1 post every few days, which mutually ended any aspiration to rp.