Had she intended to stay late, she would have made it known. Whether he would hear her clearly enough as he continued to sleep, or while attempting to wake up with an umpteenth cup of coffee, was something else entirely to consider. Typically however, Jolin would leave a note before leaving for classes, and would place the bright yellow flower-shaped sticky note upon the alarm clock, so at the very least it would stick to his hand after hitting the snooze button a few times. Some mornings she would write reminders downâ?¦Someone to call, something to pack, somewhere to be at some timeâ?¦Other days, if she was in a good mood, sheâ??d write in girlish cursive â??Love youâ? or â??Miss you,â? something sweet that her enemies would have believed her incapable of expressingâ?¦Words that were far more prominent when they first ignited their passion, those many months agoâ?¦Back when she felt he had saved herâ?¦
These daysâ?¦She was uncertain. Not just about Montand, but mostly about himâ?¦They way everything came down to business and sexâ?¦How he couldnâ??t understand why she was always â??wasting timeâ? studying instead of boozing out at the clubs with him and his business associatesâ?¦Why she didnâ??t just â??settleâ?â?¦and by settle, he meant stick to what she was good atâ?¦Killing, and of course fucking him.
She had left China, to escape the killing. Though Montand had hired her as a bodyguard, she had hoped with the opportunities he had promised her, that she could soon put down her daggers, and replace them with something she never could have back home; educationâ?¦Jolin had such an insatiable thirst for learning, and though she was very knowledgeable in many disciplines for her age, no amount of cash could have ever made learning English any easier. Being anything but the best was unacceptableâ?¦Not only from a cultural standpoint, but from her own, tenacious will. Her embarrassment perhaps had initially caused her to shy away from going to the bars with those men who spoke far too fast, and asked her questions in rapid fire to which she only smiled behind her drink, hoping Montand would realize she hadnâ??t understood and would answer for herâ?¦Sometimes he would, other times he would just laugh and wait for her to try and decipher the sentences for herself.
They both had their mood swingsâ?¦Their moments where their stubbornness would get in the way so that they were literally finding every way possible to push one anotherâ??s buttons until the night ended with screaming, something valuable being broken and more than likely one of them pinning the other down (Jolin typically by means of pressure points, and Montand by use of strength and size). But she loved himâ?¦at least she believed she did. Shouldnâ??t she have to, for all the things he had done for her?
After her latest C on a take home exam littered with grammatical errors, one she had asked Adam to help her with while he was watching some sports game but he proved too â??busyâ? to be able to, Jolin had started thinking often about their relationshipâ?¦She hadnâ??t left a note that morning to say sheâ??d be home lateâ?¦She hadnâ??t intended to come home late at all. She had been thinking, too deeply, during her walk homeâ?¦A habit that was blissful to philosophers, but deadly to warriorsâ?¦One doesnâ??t think when fighting, at least not someone as skilled as Jolinâ?¦Though one practices the various stances, the discplines, the rulesâ?¦They donâ??t think of them during any match.. They rely on instinct,
feelingâ?¦They donâ??t need to think about their opponents, because they
know them, and know what they are capable ofâ?¦But even if she had not been so deep in thought that dreary afternoon, Jolin never would have suspected anyone capable of such thingsâ?¦
As Montand had peered out the window, the front door slammed shut. Her footsteps upon the stairs were louder than usualâ?¦She hadnâ??t taken off her shoes at the front door, something she had nagged every Western person including Adam himself to do whenever stepping inside the door..but that day, she hadnâ??t slipped her black Mary Janeâ??s offâ?¦Her navy blue blazer with her private schools golden emblem on the right breast pocket, was thrown over her black leather school bag, which seemed to be soaking wet at the bottom, with once organized papers shoved and crumpled inside.. Having seen the light in the bedroom, she turned immediately to the hall bathroom, shutting the door with another loud slamâ?¦
She hated taking showersâ?¦Baths, she had always claimed, were far more relaxing and intimate..The hall bathroom only had a shower, thatâ??s water was soon steaming at the hottest temperature at the hardest setting only moments after the door had slammed. On the floor in front of the tiny corner shower was her uniformâ?¦A once crisply pressed white blouse, with only two buttons remaining around the collar. A blue navy pleated skirt with two white stripes along the bottom balled up with ribbons from her hair, and two thigh high black stockings tucked into scuffed up Mary Janeâ??s that had been polished to perfection that morningâ?¦
In the shower, sitting on the floor beneath the steaming stream of water, was Jolin..Her back, scratched and bruised, pressed against one of the glass shower panels. Her long black hair covering her body like a veil as she sat with her knees pulled to her chest, and her head buried in her handsâ?¦Her French manicured fingers were twisted within her hair, some nails chipped, others barely intact, knuckles bleeding slightly, but not as harshly as the cuts upon her thighs, or the three what seemed like fingernail marks upon her left breastâ?¦The water pooling around her, trickling near the drain was tinted a hue of red...A hand quickly pressed to her mouth as her body convulsed, as if she was holding back getting sick...but her slender figure contorted, curling herself further into a ball, thinking perhaps she could hide from this like she hid from so much else...From her family..from her school..from the students who tried to make friends...
Even from Adam...
God it hurt...it fucking
burned...everywhere....
She had been thinking, a lot latelyâ?¦
But now she could barely breathe, let alone thinkâ?¦
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