_____________________________▬ terrible things. _____________________________sometimes I think of doing terrible things. ______________________________________________________I know I shouldn't think that way but I do anyways.
▬ rp status. : OPEN____________________ ACTIVE ROLEPLAYS : scaremonger - mr. quixotic.
and hopefully more to come.
A place for angry, angst feels and basically vomiting what's in mind because I can do things like that. _____________________COMMENTS ARE WELCOME ! JUST BE NICE.
Because being an asshole will result in your feelings being hurt in return and we both don't want that do we?
And it also causes wrinkles.
[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dabJIbnxVL8[/video]
▬ " LOST IN TOKYO " - KORELESS For the dreams that make you feel awake. . . Hoping, hoping. . .
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tuesday, march 31st, 2015 : 11:11 ( PM ) : headache. . make a wish ▬
Sometimes I actually wish I could properly explain what I feel. And then sometimes I could just sit on a rooftop with you- on the tallest building we can find and just talk about how crazy life is for hours. ' Unwind ' playing low in the back on my dying ipod... but it pushes through. The air unbearably cold and light like always. But we sit there toes near numb. Who cares. We wouldn't even need cigarettes. . . That cold. Just stupid shit. And even how it was better when we were kids and how simple life seemed. Running home as fast as you could to catch "Sailor Moon", and "Hey Arnold," "Recess" and "All That." The early`90's kids were totally the best. But you grow up and sometimes too fast and the world flashes before you. And the responsibilities just pack and pack and pack on top of each other and now matter how hard you beg for it to stop-
it doesn't.
For the stress,- the noise to just stop. Your happiness changes... Or maybe you were never happy to begin with and because of that you learn to lie professionally. Occupation: Deception. But that's fine. That paper bag with the drawn in smiley face over your head is fine. Just remember there's someone always listening, always concerned, always caring whether you're breathing or not. I wish you cared enough... Just stop fighting with me and maybe you could see I'm not half as bad a person as I somehow give off. I'm sorry I got sick. There was a reason I said I was tired all the time. I didn't do it just for shits and giggles. But I stay up because I'm always trying to make you happy. Failing always. There's only so much I can do.
So much I can withstand before my legs start to give out.
They're half way there... Maybe more. But I'm still here.
I just wish you'd understand this...
I'm sorry I'm not an open book. I'm sorry I care so much. I'm sorry I don't speak up enough. I'm sorry you died. I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you.
But I'm so pissed at you. How could you do that? To me especially. You didn't even give me a chance. You didn't even stick around and then you just had to go and vanish. Just..- Whatever man. After ten years I still can't get over it. It's weird when you cross my mind in dark moments like this. You piece of shit. You absolute piece of garbage. You and her... The older you get, the more aware you become... Sometimes I wonder if I cause her pain... She see's you in me... I guess that makes me a piece of garbage too.
That's probably what I'd tell you and I'd wait to hear about something going on in yours. But then you tell me you don't have one. You're not even real. We bounce from story to story long enough for me to realize I was just talking to myself the whole time. I'm not crazy. I swear. I just think too much.
I need to be productive, but it's so hard when I'm so lazy.
▬ hold it tight .
tuesday, march 31st, 2015 : 11:48 ( PM ) : ▬end.
Mr Quixotic said:
I'd be curious to find out.
And, of course we'll be nice to you. I don't want wrinkles!
Hey now, be careful of what you're asking for here!
I'd say a good majority have a pretty terrifying thought process, lol.
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wednesday, april 15th, 2015 : 9:44 ( AM ) : feelin' good, yo. . make a wish ▬
I survived!
I had surgery on Monday to do a total Thyroidectomy and it felt like I was wearing the tightest choker in the world when it was over. This was the first time I've ever had surgery for anything and I was pretty terrified of being knocked out but it was easier than I thought. I recalled the last moments before I was out too.
I never knew that for procedures like these they actually GLUE like used super glue for the skin pretty much to keep the incision together. I'd show it off but it actually looks kinda gross? So I don't think I will, lol. Swallowing has become easier (kind of). Now that it doesn't hurt too bad to hold my head up I can actually make replies!
Hopefully I don't scar too bad or anything. Can't wait to start feeling better and energetic. Good god, the nurses poked my hands so many times, and my right hand refused to give any blood so you'd think after the first two times you wiggle the needle around and NOTHING IS COMING OUT that you'd switch? Nope. This lady kept wiggling till my mother finally was like 'uhm... maybe switch hands..?'
Terrible I say.
I'll make this all pretty later.
▬ hold it tight .
wednesday, april 15th, 2015 : 9:50 ( AM ) : ▬end.
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Glad to hear it all went well, and you survived. I've been there, where the nurse couldn't find a vein, but kept poking and poking. Definitely not fun. Hope you get to feeling totally back to normal, soon.
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