I dislike life and the feeling is apparently mutual *sigh*

[KiKi Umara Death]

So for the past few weeks I've been lost and confused like any average person in a crisis. My personal life has become more and more complex. You see I love someone who shares the same feelings but he is with someone else. I spent a good solid eight years with this person but I fucked things up and we went our separate ways. But I didn't realize that until about a month ago. He had already found someone new and he was trying to move on from me. I knew I shouldn't have interfered at all but something in the back of my mind told me I should. So being stupid I did. We met and talked. I found out his true feelings for me and that this girl is rebound. Or so I thought...But now the more I watch the situation it doesn't seem that way. Maybe it's just me...Is he biding his time until the proper time to get rid of her?....Is there such thing as a proper time to dump someone?...I don't know but either way I've been nice, stood by, and watched....I just don't know what to do anymore. I seriously wish I did know. I want to be happy...But I've tried to move on from him and I can't...I feel I will never be happy unless I am beside him. He has and forever will have my heart to tear in two or mend. It's his choice and I'll let him do what he wishes. I'll try and smile if he walks away from me with this girl. But I don't know what I'll do once he's out of sight...