My Personality Doesn't Match

[Yamada]

Lately as I've been searching for Rp partners. I feel my personality doesn't match what other rpers want. I'm not an overly dominant or aggressive male. Though that seems to be a major requirement . It just hard for me to get in a dominant state of mind, especially since I'm really a laid back , easy-going person.

 

[SithLordOfSnark]

You just need to find someone that meshes with you. It may be a task, but you can do it.

 

[Misbehaved Angel]

I was just telling someone the same thing. BUT, when you do find that person, that perfect Rp partner...it's magical! Hang in there!

 

[Mr Quixotic]

I agree with what the others have said, Yamada. Hang in there. What I look for/enjoy in female characters tends to be different from the majority of males, and it can be a struggle, but in the end you'll find what you're looking for, and it'll be well worth any wait.

 

[heartlesskitten]

I suggest randomly reading RPs, sometimes you might find a person who has a style and character type you like that might never put up an interest check. You can always PM them and get a conversation going, might get lucky.

 

[ClaudiAnastasie]

I sometimes feel that roleplays all begin to follow a trend, and certain kinks come into popularity for whatever reason, and I've seen it in my years of roleplaying happen again and again. I know, especially right now, I'm having the same problem. It's difficult to find someone that suits your needs, especially when you're searching for that perfect rp partner. Just keep looking, they're out there.

 

[Star Pupil]

I can tell you that your search will be well worth it when you finally do find a partner that meshes well with you. Keep trying.

 

[HerrFuckface]

BD is right,Yamada.Maybe you could try writing a story that has a dominant lead? There's bound to be someone here who will be a perfect match for you to roleplay with.Just don't give up! I myself am a switch.

 

[Simon Seville]

Incoming rant non directed rant. : this thread feels like my new home. I don't know, maybe i'm simply bad at writing stories, maybe I need practice? is it me...as a person? whatever the question or the answer is i'm at a loss time and again. I was once told so bluntly Quote: "I Just Don't Like You're Writing" and yes, that very well may be but personally I need to know why. do I need to improve? is my dialog sloppy? do you not like my stupid face? my mind goes spinning in and out of control in the seemingly endless search for a partner am I mad, no.. do I feel as though i'm owed some kind of shining "you tried your best" ribbon. no i'm just wandering through this sea of people trying to build worlds. like everyone else.

 

[g.stevens11]

I would argue that it has to do with other people's inadaquicies. You'd be aazed how many times I'll send out a request thread for a specific craving, and then have morons respond wanting to change almost every detail about what I want.

Did I say I was a push over? No, so fuck off jerks. If I wanted that kind of relationship I'd still be playing shitty games with shitty online people.

And Simon, you're doing fine. I'm enjoying your character in our rp because I feel as if you're working with what you know, which is the first step in great writing. write from the heart, just make sure you leave yours intact and don't give it away.

 

[Simon Seville]

G, You are a saint. lol I'm working on it. it's just very difficult for me to, I suppose be a bit more stoic when it comes to this kind of thing. I honestly get attached to whomever might be on the other side of the screen. it probably stems from not having a family, which might explain a lot of things about me... But that's neither here nor there I suppose. I'd like to think that with every person I write with, we'd end up sharing something and afterward be pen pals. or if they choose not to RP begin as such. I don't know I just like meeting people is all. likes, dislikes, dreams, favorite things. people are fascinating to me, and I love every one of them dearly. it's a flaw I don't know if I can fix. Then there's the sexual aspect of the thing. To make love, to have sex, to fuck. as it were, whether it's between friends with benefits a one night stand, or between two lovers for the first time. it's a beautiful thing. the mutual agreement to share each others bodies in a manner so vulnerable, there's control through a lack of control. the absolute expression of trust. we are ourselves online. regardless of what we play or who we play it with. we are simply amplified versions of our personalities. saying and doing things we couldn't possibly get away with or have the ability to carry out in the world of flesh and blood. I take that into account. I care about people's dislikes and triggers and try to cater the best that I can to what makes them feel good. I don't know I ramble far too often.

 

[Shovel]

I have very specific/niche tastes myself and find it pretty difficult to find roleplay partners that I mesh well with. But when I do, it ends up being so worth it.

I'd rather wait for someone who shares the same interests as I do and be really into what we are creating together...as opposed to half-assing it with someone who is incompatible.

Be patient. You're RP partners will come.

 

[Rudolph Quin]

I think it'd be interesting, for the sake of discussion and discovery, for people to post those things that they desire to rp but actually find it difficult to find partners for. Doubly interesting to find out that what people think are "uncommon/niche" interests might actually be common after all, and triple interesting if those in this very thread share things they "can't find rp partners to role-play." Be kinda a coincidental bringing together of people who must have just been stepping over each other's req threads this whole time.

Personally, I've never had trouble finding rp partners. Even with a reputation for being a bit of an asshole sometimes, as soon as my req thread goes up, I have a bunch of mail to wade through. Maybe for that reason, I don't really know what an "uncommon" kink/fantasy would be. What is that? Transformer-fetish? ...no, because, I have that. What else? Enema cum sluts? ...no... I've done that too. Twice.

I can see how certain fandoms can be hard to find partners for but I imagine fandom to be hard to do anyway, just simply from the standpoint of messing around with canon stuff. But honestly, all you have to do is strip a fandom pairing down to the basic storyline and character relationships and I think anybody coming into the req thread wouldn't have this preconception of "needing to have previous knowledge about that published work".

One thing I will say in regards to the OP is, submissive males are a dime a dozen, with very few dominant women willing to take the role of mistress. That's this community in particular, though, and every time I've searched, it's the one thing I cannot find a fit for. If you're just looking for a dominant female character, played assertively and confidently, it's not a problem, but leash and collar dominant, is less available.

 

[Mr Quixotic]

That could make interesting reading, Rudolph, and bring a few people together. I believe that, sometimes, what people consider a niche interest is dependent on what they can't find a partner for, and can be subjective.

As for women played confidently, particularly in a sexual context, and/or female characters who will take on a proactive role in the story (I totally separate that from any form of dominance); that's something I always struggle to find. However, a large part of that could be because I can also come across as a bit of an asshole, or intimidating - so I've been told - and/or demanding, and am extremely picky with what I want, and the type of characters who will maintain my long-term interest to write opposite.

In regards to you not having much trouble finding partners when you send out a request, I think a lot of that may be that due to the fact that your writing speaks for itself.

 

[Rudolph Quin]

That could make interesting reading, Rudolph, and bring a few people together. I think, sometimes what people consider niche interests is dependent on what they can't find a partner for.

As for finding women played confidently, particularly in a sexual context, and/or those who know what they want (I totally separate that from dominance); that's something I always struggle to find. However, that could be because I can also come across as a bit of an asshole, or intimidating - so I've been told - and/or demanding at times, and am extremely picky with what I want.

Hey, buddy, I've seen your req thread, picky is an understatement. Not a bad thing because you know what you want but a lot of times you tell someone what they "can't/shouldn't" be doing and they pass you by because it feels already too restricting. That's just human nature. I open a req thread and see a lot of rules and I will close the thread, simply because that's a turnoff for me as far as flexible partners. We should rp sometime(gonna send you a pm). I have found an equal number of those who play their women as confident characters, as ones who are willing to follow my characters' lead, story-wise, so, I know they're here. I too make the distinction between them because although, like I've said, I've found partners who can play women that take charge and move the plot forward, I've found none who wanted to beat my submissive male character because he likes it and wants to be punished('m naughty).

I don't think that you should compromise on how you present yourself, though. You've clearly got standards and anything below that will not be fun for you. I find too, even when making myself presentable, making my ideas interesting as they're listed in the req thread, I've got a lot of stuff that I don't want to wade through. Usually when I've got an empty plate and I'm looking for something to fill the spot, I'm not picky; I just want to have fun. So, even if someone has a barely thought out character and does the bare minimum while riding my coattails through the rp, I'll sometimes play and write what I want to write about for a few dozen posts.

That's my personal motivations, though, coming at rping not only for the fantasy and escapism but also because I can't write alone. I've tried. I overcomplicate shit or I start drawing pictures and feel "done" with the story after a few chapters and doodles. So, I come at it to write my story(selfish, yes) but with the help of someone to occasionally inject me with adrenaline and keep the energy flow.

In regards to you not having much trouble finding partners when you send out a request, I think a lot of that may be that due to the fact that your writing speaks for itself.

Shut up.

 

[Shovel]

One thing I will say in regards to the OP is, submissive males are a dime a dozen, with very few dominant women willing to take the role of mistress. That's this community in particular, though, and every time I've searched, it's the one thing I cannot find a fit for. If you're just looking for a dominant female character, played assertively and confidently, it's not a problem, but leash and collar dominant, is less available.

^ Quoted for emphasis.


...And wouldn't mind indulging this experiment of sharing unsatisfied and apparently niche kinks fetish's. :3

 

[Mr Quixotic]

Hey, buddy, I've seen your req thread, picky is an understatement. Not a bad thing because you know what you want but a lot of times you tell someone what they "can't/shouldn't" be doing and they pass you by because it feels already too restricting. That's just human nature. I open a req thread and see a lot of rules and I will close the thread, simply because that's a turnoff for me as far as flexible partners. We should rp sometime(gonna send you a pm). I have found an equal number of those who play their women as confident characters, as ones who are willing to follow my characters' lead, story-wise, so, I know they're here. I too make the distinction between them because although, like I've said, I've found partners who can play women that take charge and move the plot forward, I've found none who wanted to beat my submissive male character because he likes it and wants to be punished('m naughty).

I don't think that you should compromise on how you present yourself, though. You've clearly got standards and anything below that will not be fun for you. I find too, even when making myself presentable, making my ideas interesting as they're listed in the req thread, I've got a lot of stuff that I don't want to wade through. Usually when I've got an empty plate and I'm looking for something to fill the spot, I'm not picky; I just want to have fun. So, even if someone has a barely thought out character and does the bare minimum while riding my coattails through the rp, I'll sometimes play and write what I want to write about for a few dozen posts.

That's my personal motivations, though, coming at rping not only for the fantasy and escapism but also because I can't write alone. I've tried. I overcomplicate shit or I start drawing pictures and feel "done" with the story after a few chapters and doodles. So, I come at it to write my story(selfish, yes) but with the help of someone to occasionally inject me with adrenaline and keep the energy flow.

The amusing thing is that people read my request thread, but cant envisage (and I guess I can't really expect them to) the smile on my face, and the good mood I was in, when I wrote it. That's with the exception of my current partners, who seemed to sense it was mostly written in jest, and that the bark is actually a lot worse than the bite. Most of them approached me with biting sarcasm, or humour, themselves, and I immediately clapped my hands together in glee, and thought, "Yep, we're compatible".

I guess, in the end, that means the request works, because it attracts partners that I'm able to keep long-term, and share a sense of humour with. OoC compatibility is as important to me as the story itself; it keeps me invested in the scene, and wanting to give them my best.

I can't write alone, either. Give me a blank piece of paper, and I'll still be staring at it six hours later, but when I've someone/something to bounce off, all sorts of possibilities of 'where can this go' pop into my head. It's why I'm crap at coming up with fleshed out plots on my lonesome.

I get you with the dominant females. I've never searched for one, as it's not my cup of tea (as in the whips and chains for my character), but I do feel sympathy for those guys who do crave one. Sometimes it feels as males aren't allowed to have their own fantasies, but must only play those of the female; otherwise they won't ever find anyone to write with.

And no worries, just responded to your PM. I'm flattered that you'd ask me to write with you (tell me to shut-up, again, xd), and definitely open to it at some stage.

 

[Rudolph Quin]

It definitely took me a different mindset and approach to your thread to see where you were coming from with it, Quix, and I did get the impression of being amused from your tone. You snarky bastard.

Like I said, you either do like you do, with a tone to decode, a sort of "more than meets the eye" intent on a double take by the select few willing to engage with you on that level, or you do like me, with no rules, no kinks posted, just short story synopsis and what I'm open to doing, and then have to tell a bunch of people "No". If it works, it works.

Might be helpful for the OP and those who agree with them to sort of keep that in mind; you don't have to keep doing the same thing over and over. Try a different approach, try a different set up. The point isn't to appeal to as many people as possible but to find the people that will click with you. Often times, presenting yourself in a certain way, you come at it thinking that you know what people want to hear and it's not. Or you insert a little too much desperation to be validated in the req thread and turn away the people who would normally approach your ideas if not for the overwhelming burst of "YOU" shouting from the thread. I don't know what the problems are but just saying generally, sometimes these are things you can look for if you're having trouble and maybe take stuff out, simplify it, or put more stuff in, make it more fleshed out, give people looking it over more options.

...And wouldn't mind indulging this experiment of sharing unsatisfied and apparently niche kinks fetish's. :3

Should we do that in this thread or make a new one? The only problem with doing it in this existing thread is people will still be responding to the OP rather than looking down through the discussion and finding the new intent behind the conversation. Thinking it over, it actually has less to do with the intent of this thread, so, I'll make a new one.

 

[Shovel]

Should we do that in this thread or make a new one? The only problem with doing it in this existing thread is people will still be responding to the OP rather than looking down through the discussion and finding the new intent behind the conversation. Thinking it over, it actually has less to do with the intent of this thread, so, I'll make a new one.

Agreed. :3

 

[Mr Quixotic]

It definitely took me a different mindset and approach to your thread to see where you were coming from with it, Quix, and I did get the impression of being amused from your tone. You snarky bastard.

Like I said, you either do like you do, with a tone to decode, a sort of "more than meets the eye" intent on a double take by the select few willing to engage with you on that level, or you do like me, with no rules, no kinks posted, just short story synopsis and what I'm open to doing, and then have to tell a bunch of people "No". If it works, it works.

Might be helpful for the OP and those who agree with them to sort of keep that in mind; you don't have to keep doing the same thing over and over. Try a different approach, try a different set up. The point isn't to appeal to as many people as possible but to find the people that will click with you. Often times, presenting yourself in a certain way, you come at it thinking that you know what people want to hear and it's not. Or you insert a little too much desperation to be validated in the req thread and turn away the people who would normally approach your ideas if not for the overwhelming burst of "YOU" shouting from the thread. I don't know what the problems are but just saying generally, sometimes these are things you can look for if you're having trouble and maybe take stuff out, simplify it, or put more stuff in, make it more fleshed out, give people looking it over more options.

...And wouldn't mind indulging this experiment of sharing unsatisfied and apparently niche kinks fetish's. :3

Should we do that in this thread or make a new one? The only problem with doing it in this existing thread is people will still be responding to the OP rather than looking down through the discussion and finding the new intent behind the conversation. Thinking it over, it actually has less to do with the intent of this thread, so, I'll make a new one.

It's hard for me, sometimes, because I know if I read it from someone else, I'd interpret it in the way that I, myself, wrote it to be interpreted. Not everyone is the same, but it's a great feeling when I receive a message from someone who's intuitively on the same wavelength, and that really is the true intent of the entire thread.

I've never tried it your way, and I could see how that would work, and possibly open up a lot more options. However, knowing myself, I'd end up being just as picky anyway, as I'm strong willed (known, alternatively, by some, as stubborn!), and I know what attracts/interests me, and it's as much to do with the personality of the person behind the keyboard as anything else; I find that tends to bleed into the personality of the characters they portray. When it comes to what's included in the story itself, my motto is 'give me something that I like, and I will give you all that you do'.

Agreed with your third paragraph. Variety is the spice of life, however some are here to play out only a particular fantasy/fetish/personality/scene, so it can depend on what they're looking for, or their purpose for being here.

I think a new thread is the way to go!