lets talk love?

[Mrs.]

So i was hoping to reach out to people who may have a little more experience with relationships than i do.

Here is my position:

I was always a huge fan of playing the field and had no intentions of settling down. Then i met my fiance, a ftm who swept me off my feet. We have been together for a few years now and any problem that comes up we alwayssss work on! But there are a few things that arent improving much.

I guess my question is, does anyone have any experience with their partners getting a hundred times better or worse after marriage?

The things he seens to struggle with arent deal breakers but i wont spend my whole life dealing with them either.. If you know what i mean.

Just stuff like laziness.. And the big thing is temper, temper..

Any thoughts at all?

 

[Trygon]

In my experience, it takes more than love to make a relationship work. As time goes on, you will see your partner be both vastly better, and worse, then you have seen so far. It requires the steadiness of vision and will to know you want to be with that person forever, no matter what. That even at their worst, they add something that enriches your life immeasurably.

It's exactly the opposite of 'I won't spend my whole life dealing with them.'

Your relationship is already dead. Can't speak for your partner, but you're not into this.

 

[Hahvoc The Decepticon]

I have to agree with Trygon on this. If all you're doing is "dealing" with things that you don't want to "put up" with the rest of your life, you need to reevaluate your relationship.

 

[Star Pupil]

I agree with the two above. The red flag was the moment you said "I don't want to deal with these things for the rest of my life". If that's the case then you don't need to get married, you need to step back and re evaluate your relationship with him. Don't get married hoping someone is going to fix the things you find wrong eventually. Because there is a chance that those problems won't get fixed permanently. They could get better, or one day down the road they could resurface even worse than when you met the person.

Everyone is going to have flaws, the trick is loving someone enough to look passed those flaws.

 

[GiaNoir]

I agree with everyone above. As Beautiful Disgrace says everyone has flaws. I've been in relationships where those flaws just kept getting more concentrated to the point I broke it off. I am a patient person, I communicate what I feel and try my best to understand and help someone out. But not at the cost that it consumes me. You can help someone or deal with their issues just so much, they have to face them. Sounds like reevaluation time is necessary. Wish you the best darling!