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The Box

Anderian

Super-Earth
Joined
Feb 2, 2015
Location
United States of America
Hello! Whether you clicked by accident or on purpose, you're here now, so if you would so kindly read my work I'd be very grateful. This is a short story I put up on Elliquiy under another name, Deity of the Archaic.

This story is a collection of reports and logs documenting the mysterious object known as subject 187-A. It's supposed to be creepy but I don't know how well I accomplished that... anyway... I have plans to update it with more reports, but for now, here's the starter pack:

[Redacted], 1997, 1834 hours
Site 301-45, [Redacted], California
Audio log 1205071
Sgt. Miller's debriefing on initial contact
Conducted by Doctor [Redacted]

Doctor: Thank you for meeting me Sergeant.
Miller: It's... It's fine doctor.
D: So tell me about what you saw when you first entered the [Redacted].
M: So... my boys and I were responding to a distress call at 0800 hours about a "meteorite" crashing into a small town off of [Redacted]. At first we didn't know what to think. All the reports said was that they saw a flash of light and an explosion. Nothing more.
D: And you... went to the site immediately?
M: That's correct. Anyway, we brought Geiger counters just to be safe. Don't know what the hell this thing was made of or if it was radioactive or whatever. When we opened the door to the building it landed in, the scopes went crazy. Not only that, our thermometers went crazy, fluctuating between extreme heat and cold. But we didn't feel a thing.
D: Could you describe what you saw when you made contact?
M: It was dark. Real dark. But we saw the damn thing. It looked like it was floating or something. Black, solid, symmetrical. This thing was big and it was smooth. It was too clean cut to be natural.
D: And you said you thought it was communicating?
M: Some of our guys said they thought they heard whispering, like if someone creeps up behind you and whispers right into your ear.
D: Can you confirm it wasn't other people?
M: Perimeter search confirmed that all civvies were vacated prior.
D: Is it possible other personnel had any part in a joke, perhaps?
M: It's possible but they said they turned around and nobody was there.
D: Were there any other abnormalities surrounding the object?
M: Yeah, it seemed as though it messed with any kind of recording. Radio transmission was dead at the site. Audio and video recordings were corrupted right at the point of entry.
D: Hmm. Alright well, thank you for your time, sergeant. That will be all.
Miller leaves the room.
D: Subject analysis shows that the individual is visibly distressed. Initial suspicions are confirmed in regards to subject 187-A.
End of recording

January 4th, 1998, 0730 hours
Site 301-45, [Redacted], California
Post subject test report
Test 1
Conducted by Doctor Edward [Redacted]

First animal testing on subject 187-A, using a field mouse to determine effects of extended periods of contact with subject 187-A. At 15 hours, subject shows visible discomfort and remains at the furthest distance with 187-A. At 20 hours test subject is visibly perturbed and shows active aggression. It is noted that increasing levels of distress is caused by extensive presence in the immediate vicinity with subject 187-A. At 30 hours tested subject is showing abnormal physical properties, by scaling 90 degree steel walls. Subject is growing in hostility towards subject 187-A and has made several attempts to attack 187-A. 187-A shows no signs of physical damage and remains suspended in the middle of the room. 45 hours, test subject has grown comatose and remains still. 50 hours, subject has halted breathing. A pulse cannot be detected. 55 hours, test subject's cranium has inflated to triple normal size. Pulse has remained inactive, as well as breathing. Subject is declared dead. 60 hours, test subject's inflated cranium has burst violently. Noted that brain matter and blood is absent from the newly formed injury, but a black substance has splattered in a large radius around the test subject's body. 71 hours, breathing has resumed and a pulse has regained a normal rate. Test subject remains inert and comatose. At 90 hours the test subject has regained consciousness and moves about the chamber. 120 hours, nothing further has occurred, even in the absence of a head. 150 hours, subject has shown no signs of further aggression or distress. 300 hours, test subject has shown no signs of activity and the test has been deemed terminated. Personnel has been dispatched to euthanize the test subject. 301, subject does not respond to lethal injection and is docile to stimuli that would normally distress a field mouse. 302, subject remains active and unresponsive to stimuli. 303 hours, subject has been removed and died immediately after leaving the chamber.
End report

April 13th, 1998, 1600 hours
Site 301-45, [Redacted], California
Post subject test report
Test 18
Conducted by Dr. Howard [Redacted]

First human test with subject 187-A. 10 hours, subject reports a mild headache and a feeling of claustrophobia. Subject notes that they are not prone to claustrophobia, normally. 24 hours, subject reports that their eyesight has gone blurry and unfocused. Subject also remarks that they are getting aggravated towards subject 187-A. 25 hours, subject reports normal eyesight returned. 35 hours, subject reports that their headache has grown immensely in intensity and is causing them extreme pain. Reports from the subject are strained and the subject is apparently very irritable. 40 hours, subject has lost rationality and begins to attack subject 187-A. 80 hours, subject is incredibly hostile to personnel when fed. Excessive scratching and clawing at the walls of the cell and of 187-A have disturbingly whittled the subject's fingers down to bloodied stumps. Subject appears unaware to the intense bodily damage they're causing to themselves. Subject has been noted to be blubbering incoherently. Strangely enough, the walls of the cell are scratched and bloodied by the subject's incessant striking, whilst 187-A shows no sign of physical damage or blood residue. 97 hours, test subject has murdered personnel and showed no response to being fired upon by retreating personnel. For the purpose of testing, subject has not been put down, but the deceased personnel could not be retrieved. 99 hours, subject has begun to cannibalize the corpse of the personnel. The subject has obviously lost all sensibility. 120 hours, subject has completely devoured the corpse of the personnel and has begun to attack 187-A with the left femur. No damage was acquired. 140 hours, the subject is comatose and does not move. 170 hours, subject is still comatose despite being in a state of starvation. 190 hours, subject's cranium swells the the same proportion as all tests prior. 200 hours, subject has resumed consciousness with the inflated head. 240 hours, subject has remained docile, aimlessly wandering about the enclosure. 242 hours, subject's head has burst as prior test subject's with the same black, viscous fluid. Subject has fallen inert on the ground. 295 hours, subject has risen and wanders again, with no apparent sense of their surroundings as they bump aimlessly into the walls and into 187-A. 340 hours, no additional activity. Subject has not been fed for a long period of time but seems to be completely unaffected. 380 hours, soft, incoherent speech can be heard from the cell but it's origin is unknown. 430 hours, subject has become aware of the monitoring equipment and has assumed a position in which they are staring into the one-way plexiglass, despite having no head. It is noted that the prior unaware stated is most likely a direct result of the loss of the head. 500 hours, subject has not moved, saved for twitching and random muscle spasms. 800 hours, subject still has not moved despite being actively provoked verbally and physically by personnel. 804 hours, shortly after personnel vacated, a deep, guttural sound emanated from the cell. No further action has been observed. 806 hours, an unknown language is being produced within the enclosure. My accomplice remarks that it is perhaps coming from the test subject. This is illogical as their vocal cords have been decimated rendering it impossible to speak. 807 hours, it is determined that the speaking is broken Latin. Translation is underway. 810 hours, it has been translated to be repeating "Immolation by the hand of the observer unto the observed." The message is cryptic and it's meaning cannot be deciphered. 970 hours, subject has vanished. The test chamber is empty except for 187-A floating directly in the center. 980 hours, subject remains at large. For all intents and purposes, testing is closed but the cell will be closely monitored.
End report

December 14th, 1998, 1700 hours
Site 301-45, [Redacted], California
Excerpted mortuary report of Dr. Howard [Redacted]
Reported by [Redacted]

The doctor appears to have multiple stab wounds to the chest and stomach. His head was rotated 180 degrees on the neck, which was broken violently. His eyes have been removed and replaced with a solid black metallic substance of unknown composition. There is excessive bruising throughout the body, varying in severity. Multiple bones are fractured and his fingers have been violently removed with a rough cut. It is also noted that his [Redacted] has been severed and is missing. His state of decay places time of death around [Time and date Redacted]. Upon opening the chest cavity, a viscous black fluid fills in the empty space. It also appears that all of his organs have been removed.

End Excerpt

June 3rd, 2001, [Time Redacted]
[Redacted], Precinct [Redacted], Arizona
Excerpt from murder witness testimony audio log, describing the suspect
Witness, [Name Withheld], and investigator Michael [Redacted]

Investigator Michael: Could you please describe the suspect?
Witness: Sure... The guy was naked, and he looked really skinny like he hasn't eaten in weeks. He had stumped hands and was covered in this black goo. His head looked like it was stitched on and it had not ears or a nose or eyes or anything. He was screaming something in a language I didn't understand and he mercilessly clubbed the guy to death with his hands. The guy was screaming for help but I just stood there, horrified.
IM: What happened next?
Witness: After the guy stopped screaming, he just laid there while the other one kept beating on him. When he finally let up he... he... he started to eat him! He snapped the guys head back and started to tear pieces of him-
IM: That's enough, Ma'am. Thank you for your time.
Witness: ...but...
IM: These officers will show you out.
Witness is ushered out of the room by two policemen.
IM: Description matches the subject at large. Damn... this is the eighth case this year...

End Recording

July 6th, 2001 [Time Redacted]
Site 301-45, [Redacted], California
Movement of Subject 187-A order
Order issued by Commander Fredrick [Redacted]

By order of the United States of America Bureau of [Redacted], subject 187-A is considered to be dangerous and is hereby ordered to be moved to deeper storage with higher security. Contact with the subject in question is enforced to be kept under a maximum of 4 hours per individual. Subject 187-A is to be moved to site [Redacted] for further monitoring and will require a security clearance level of 13. This order is to be effective July 20th.

End document

October 8th, 2009, 0800 hours
[Location Redacted]
Translation from scrawls that appeared on the walls of 187-A

"The light of [No translation] will bath those who bask in its glory with the radiance of the stars. The unworthy and the heretics are a pox upon this plane of existence and [No translation] will cleanse the scum. Hear you observed, for the observer, [No translation], has begun its glorious schism. What you don't understand is what you should fear. The coming of ages is upon your meager existence. Remember, immolation by the hand of the observer into the observed."

End translation

November 3rd, 2012, 0730 hours
[Location Redacted]
Excerpted private journal regarding subject 187-A
Entry by [Redacted]

It's gone. The f[Censored]ing thing is gone. I got the graveyard shift again, and I dozed off for a few minutes and the damn box disappeared! How the hell does a floating metal box just disappear?! They never tell us about the s[censored] we guard just that it's "top secret" and "dangerous". My ass, it's a box. Man... how am I going to get out of this?

End entry

November 4th, 2012, 1200 hours
[Location Redacted]
Situational report on Subject 187-A
Report by [Redacted]

Subject 187-A is reported missing as of November 3rd, 2012. Immediate retrieval and secure of subject 187-A is top priority and could result in an epidemic level. Publication of the disappearance is to be kept to a minimum to avoid mass hysteria. If subject 187-A is not recovered... God help us.
 
I'm not sure where the creepy is, it does read like a mixture of reports, the common theme is good. I'm just not getting the creep vibe. You could work it but I find creepiness is better served by adjectives bringing the scene into something that has a dark aspect around it. Use more psychological means by giving a setting that will resonate with the reader, make them think something is going on, but not what. Focus on the field the object has, it definitely has effects, with exploding heads and changes in behavior to your test subjects, maybe something from their point of view to add to the creep factor, the whispering voices your initial interview subject notes is a good example, spread that more through and I think you'd end up with more subtle terror that will work for what you want than overt gore.
 
Delightfully strange and macabre, nice read! ^^ Dunno if I could give any good advice because I'm not much of a critic. I'm used to creepypasta-esque stuff like this, so it didn't quite strike me as creepy, but I certainly think it's plenty unnerving for the average reader.

Tell me, was this influenced and/or written in the style of the SCP Foundation?
 
Stonetribe said:
Delightfully strange and macabre, nice read! ^^ Dunno if I could give any good advice because I'm not much of a critic. I'm used to creepypasta-esque stuff like this, so it didn't quite strike me as creepy, but I certainly think it's plenty unnerving for the average reader.

Tell me, was this influenced and/or written in the style of the SCP Foundation?

Yes, quite indeed. I'm aware they have an wiki in which you can write to and maybe things will get posted, but the site is rather daunting and confusing to me.
 
My pleasure...I'm an old time horror buff, Poe and HP Lovecraft are two of my favorites. They are lengthy, but they can set a mood and you can do it in less if you copy the structure. I am sure there are more current authors you an emulate, but find what you like and read some material, nothing like internalizing someone else to improve your own writing. Make sure to excite the senses, that will help out in what you intend.
 
Anderian said:
Stonetribe said:
Delightfully strange and macabre, nice read! ^^ Dunno if I could give any good advice because I'm not much of a critic. I'm used to creepypasta-esque stuff like this, so it didn't quite strike me as creepy, but I certainly think it's plenty unnerving for the average reader.

Tell me, was this influenced and/or written in the style of the SCP Foundation?

Yes, quite indeed. I'm aware they have an wiki in which you can write to and maybe things will get posted, but the site is rather daunting and confusing to me.

Ah I had a feeling. :p Yeah it certainly can be a little convoluted huh? I don't entirely understand how it all works myself, but it's such an excellently unique kind of science fiction! If you don't mind, I may very well hit you up with a PM to discuss possible role plays some time. :D Any girl interested in the creative and bizarre works like this is a catch in my book.
 
This was great. Felt to me like a B-Movie of Dead Space, although I'm not quite sure why I made that comparison. Perhaps its the currupting artifact theme and log style of writting that remided me of playing Dead Space.
Awesome work :D
 
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