Search engine struggle

[DomG]

I need a place to kind of vent
No one here really knows me off line so I feel I can share freely
The few that know me a little more may know a bit but I don't give out my name or any other details so it doesn't matter

Hi, I go by Google and I am depressed
Not in a sort of down in the dumps way but a feeling of bleakness, self loathing, increasingly frequent anxiety attacks... I remember loving my job and now just a few months later I hate it. I hate almost everyone. I look at myself and I hate who and what I see...

I'm not happy, haven't been for a long time.
I was good at functioning, very good at it, painting a mask of disinterest and even telling myself I was still fine
But it's cracking
I'm cracking
I haven't been happy for a long time and it's getting to the point where I don't know if I ever will be again
Things that brought me joy now just remind me of when I enjoyed them
It's a hollow sensation ...

Sorry to vent to whoever was bored enough to read this
Dont worry, I'm not about to do anything stupid
But I had to write this down
Don't have anyone I can really talk to
But writing this down might help

I want to be happy

 

[Mr Quixotic]

Hey google,

I think you should talk to someone if you can. I used to work for a volunteer telephone counselling organisation here in Australia (not as a counsellor, I'm not cut out for that). Just a phone call, and totally anonymous, and I can tell you they're all professionally trained, and do an amazing job. No issue was too big or too small.

I'm sure that you'd have something similar where you live. Honestly, it'd be well worth it, and as I mentioned those organisations are totally anonymous. You don't need to provide your name, or any details about yourself at all.